Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[MeganDodgedABullet]

I want Wern to get a party invite, even if it's only a troll set up. Remember when the supreme Gentleman went to a party and got his entitled ass shoved off a balcony and ended up with a broken ankle? We can only hope...

*top hats welcome*

 

[Wernology]

Even in his tardverse fiction, its the side characters getting action while President Pedofreak and his unilateral abolishing of capitalism, the police, the constitution, the entire federal government and GrubHub is still presumably a bumcel unable to find a Gen-Z zoomer bae.

Nah, he has a wife and a corgi named Mittens but no human children. He specifically mentioned that last part for some reason.

Anyway, here's Lucas' morning pep talk to himself:

 

[Poop Shoot]

Fucking “Dangle” kills me. It doesn’t get much more Freudian than that.

 

[Trainwreck]

The bed thing confused me, I know it’s Lucas but like… Why would he say that considering the fact that he absolutely CAN make his own bed? Sure they have staff to do it but I doubt they actually change the bedding every day, so he COULD make the bed himself lmao.

I think it's funny that he said he didn't want them to make his bed because he could do it himself - except for the fact that he has proven time after time again that he in fact, cannot make his bed. He never had sheets on his mattress in all the videos I've seen and that alone was filthy. It was literally NEVER made. Lucas, since you are still reading here, you are in a nursing home.

 

[Wernology]

Fucking “Dangle” kills me. It doesn’t get much more Freudian than that.

His dingle is too short to dangle.

He's also big mad in this comment youtube deleted.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

His dingle is too short to dangle.

He's also big mad in this comment youtube deleted.

View attachment 2857184

"Propertyless"?

Oh, I forgot Fatty was using his Spidey-Sense to ascertain your Real Estate holdings.

Wait, was the property criticism related to "rent free"? He just can't help but repeat things other people mention.

And for someone who doesn't know a damn thing, he sure knows everything, doesn't he?

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

I want Wern to get a party invite, even if it's only a troll set up. Remember when the supreme Gentleman went to a party and got his entitled ass shoved off a balcony and ended up with a broken ankle? We can only hope...

*top hats welcome*

It would be so strange if it ever happened like the time Lucas was out of place hanging around at the Ritz Carlton stinking because he hadn’t showered in two weeks and then asking after some 19 year old millionaire at reception. The weird thing about parties back in the pre-COVID days was when you’d have a place where a party was clearly going on and anybody would just start walking in. That’s when shit gets sketchy, if Lucas was bold enough he’d just find where the college students live when they are all partying after exams and invite himself and just make up some bullshit that he’s taking biology. It’s really not hard to get into parties that way I mean that’s exactly what Elliot Rodger did.

 

[Twrx]

His dingle is too short to dangle.

He's also big mad in this comment youtube deleted.

View attachment 2857184

This has always been one of my favorite things about it. He throws insults at people that offend and hurt him, so obviously it must fuck up everyone else. Is he including cars? Probably is. He only claims to hate them, because he most likely cannot own one with the shit load of issues he has. I hope he one day throws out a thing as hilarious as Phil said about cars. "Four wheeled fedora'

 

[moseph.jartelli]

This has always been one of my favorite things about it. He throws insults at people that offend and hurt him, so obviously it must fuck up everyone else. Is he including cars? Probably is. He only claims to hate them, because he most likely cannot own one with the shit load of issues he has. I hope he one day throws out a thing as hilarious as Phil said about cars. "Four wheeled fedora'

No doubt if Kang Roy gifted him a used car, he'd be bragging about it immediately.

 

[Da Dude123]

It would be so strange if it ever happened like the time Lucas was out of place hanging around at the Ritz Carlton stinking because he hadn’t showered in two weeks and then asking after some 19 year old millionaire at reception. The weird thing about parties back in the pre-COVID days was when you’d have a place where a party was clearly going on and anybody would just start walking in. That’s when shit gets sketchy, if Lucas was bold enough he’d just find where the college students live when they are all partying after exams and invite himself and just make up some bullshit that he’s taking biology. It’s really not hard to get into parties that way I mean that’s exactly what Elliot Rodger did.

Oh, yeah, not sure what the party scene in Spokane is like, but in many places around college campuses, many parties are basically open. Now, if a fat ragman like Lucas waundered in, he would stick out like a sore thumb because he is a fat old man who stinks. Someone would probably boot him out very quick.

Now, Elliott Rogers was college age and he no doubt did not immediately raise any suspicions, due to him demographically being similar to everyone else there.

 

[Wernology]

"Propertyless"?

Oh, I forgot Fatty was using his Spidey-Sense to ascertain your Real Estate holdings.

Wait, was the property criticism related to "rent free"? He just can't help but repeat things other people mention.

And for someone who doesn't know a damn thing, he sure knows everything, doesn't he?

He's gonna be pissed when he finds out I own my house.

 

[Poop Shoot]

Oh, yeah, not sure what the party scene in Spokane is like, but in many places around college campuses, many parties are basically open. Now, if a fat ragman like Lucas waundered in, he would stick out like a sore thumb because he is a fat old man who stinks. Someone would probably boot him out very quick.

Now, Elliott Rogers was college age and he no doubt did not immediately raise any suspicions, due to him demographically being similar to everyone else there.

Exactly, Elliott was a well dressed, good looking dude who could blend in, at least until he opened his stupid mouth.

Lucas is… lol

 

[Twrx]

Exactly, Elliott was a well dressed, good looking dude who could blend in, at least until he opened his stupid mouth.

Lucas is… lol

Rodgers is all you need to point towards to completely disprove Lucas's claim that women would be climbing over each other to get to him if he had money.

 

[WonderWino]

Fucking “Dangle” kills me. It doesn’t get much more Freudian than that.

Every time lucas talks about dangle I wonder if in his obvious self insert he's imagining himself as some kind of horrifying combination of officer mendes from orange is the new black and the kokanee ranger from the beer commercials, but with lucas's obesity and personality

 

[Da Dude123]

Lucas calls women bitches all the time, he also regularly uses the n word, says it turns the gen z baes on. Does Lucas really think we all have that bad of a memory? Or since it happened in the past it is no loner relevant and we should all just moooove on, mooooove on?

 

[Telomere Savalas]

The bed thing confused me, I know it’s Lucas but like… Why would he say that considering the fact that he absolutely CAN make his own bed? Sure they have staff to do it but I doubt they actually change the bedding every day, so he COULD make the bed himself lmao.

There may be an insurance/covid deal where the staff has to make the beds, not the patients.

 

[Twrx]

Lucas calls women bitches all the time, he also regularly uses the n word, says it turns the gen z baes on. Does Lucas really think we all have that bad of a memory? Or since it happened in the past it is no loner relevant and we should all just moooove on, mooooove on?

Standard nice guy behavior. There's one video where he tells women that if women want less assholes, they need to date men below their economic class, completely ignoring the fact that plenty of women are with partners who make far less than them, it's him that's the problem, not his bank account. And then these two.

https://youtu.be/_5_LR1pwvfQ

https://youtu.be/23nJWonNpQE

 

[ManfromtheMoon]

I wonder how Lucas would react to gay fanfics of his OC

 

[WonderWino]

Found another media article stating the barista was 16 and pointing out that lucas admitted to lying about his age on his profile

Homeless man, 37, banned from Starbucks for asking out a barista, 16,

Lucas Werner, who stays in a homeless shelter in Spokane, Washington, ranted that he was sick of 'ageist Millennials' but that 'I won't stop until I'm dating a women born in the 1990s as of 2016.'

www.dailymail.co.uk

a surprisingly well written hubpage about him as well as a fucked up biography of himself he wrote

The Lucas Werner Dilemma: Fake News and Government Impotence

It seemed innocent enough: The older man/younger woman "forbidden love" story, but now the media refuses to correct its narrative to show Lucas is just a vile predator victimizing a teenage girl.

discover.hubpages.com

I also came across a reddit post from last year with one of his more unhinged notes:

r/niceguys - Lucas Werner is at it again.

32 votes and 13 comments so far on Reddit

www.reddit.com

Another mention of him posting attraction signs on a pole outside 7-11 six months ago. Apparently he left a creepy note on the wrong womans desk at a business as well according to the comments

r/Spokane - Lucas Werner is disgusting.

138 votes and 160 comments so far on Reddit

www.reddit.com

One of the comments brings up a good point - the fact that he makes every attraction sign from scratch by hand instead of making one and just photocopying it

 

[Jeep1971]

Exactly, Elliott was a well dressed, good looking dude who could blend in, at least until he opened his stupid mouth.

Lucas is… lol

Oh and hygiene. Elliott wasn't a total stinky neck beard at all.