Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Stinkyboy]

I know this discussion has been driven into the ground but caffeine is the excuse he used for his violent behavior. Fact is no one knows exactly what the story is about what happened in that restaurant except Lucas and his ex. But it is pretty obvious that too many sodas don’t turn people into violent maniacs.

I couldn’t point you to the exact page but this incident was covered in the thread somewhere awhile back where it was pieced together pretty well what happened, the how’s and why’s, which gave a pretty convincing summation of it.

Ending up in jail for 50 days for throwing a glass because he had too much caffeine is one of the more absurd Wern stories. 50 days in jail for throwing a glass?

Attempted assault with a weapon
They might have added the possibility of grievous bodily harm, a public safety citation, maybe glass hit other patrons? There’s lots that could have happened.
Was he being kicked out of her house because he was wanted by police already for the incident and she didn’t want her apartment getting trashed during his arrest?

Remember, Lucas sees himself as the hero of his life story, so he did no wrong - he will lie even to himself until he believes it.
He also filtres everything through whatever mental issues, drug treatments and liquor/weed. His narrative isn’t reliable to begin with.

 

[mothman96]

Lucas said the real reason why in one of his videos. He saw a daddy-daughter couple and freaked out.

In a video I think it was in 2018 he did say the "couple" was probably a father having a meal with his daughter(s).

I personally hate the “daddy daughter” reasoning he did it, but it’s the one everyone clings to. He told an underage catfish that version of the story trying to get some puss puss from her. I definitely don’t think that’s the actual situation that occurred because he didn’t jump on wanting younger until he got severely jilted by Suzanne for getting him put in jail and left homeless and refusing to take him back. Before he met Suzanne, he had section 8 and was all set up in a nice place that his parents cleaned for him monthly. He let that go to move into Suzanne’s place and fucked it all up by being a lazy, entitled piece of shit. He eventually wanted to date young hotter women just to spite her. It started as merely a year younger than he and eventually his insanity spun it all the way down to wanting to fuck 15 year olds.

I'd say even prior to Suzanne he wanted younger. He got with Suzanne because he couldn't get a young girlfriend and she was willing to provide/take care of him. He blew a fuse when he saw the man with the young girl(s) at the restaurant because he wanted the girls for himself.

 

[Jeep1971]

More weight coming, someone is sending the Creep a ham dinner.

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He won a box of instant coffee packets playing bingo. It's not decaf.

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He'll eat that shit right out of the packets and have a caffeine mania.

 

[TurdFondler]

Was he being kicked out of her house because he was wanted by police already for the incident and she didn’t want her apartment getting trashed during his arrest?

I can't remember what video it was but he addresses the story. I might have the timeline wrong but here's the gist of it:

After the restaurant incident he goes back to her apartment, she kicks him out because he's acting crazy and threatened her cats. He spends a night or two in a hotel. The next two weeks he's at her apartment but they don't talk and she's still mad. He stops cooking and cleaning. She kicks him out for good and the cops get called. She gets a restraining/protective order.

He couch surfs after blowing the rest of his money on hotels (sound familiar?) One day he decides to visit her at work because she went no contact on him. That violated the restraining order so he went to jail.

 

[Stinkyboy]

That would explain the length of the sentence - A continuation of what got him in shit in the first place isn’t taken kindly by the courts.

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

I can't remember what video it was but he addresses the story. I might have the timeline wrong but here's the gist of it:

After the restaurant incident he goes back to her apartment, she kicks him out because he's acting crazy and threatened her cats. He spends a night or two in a hotel. The next two weeks he's at her apartment but they don't talk and she's still mad. He stops cooking and cleaning. She kicks him out for good and the cops get called. She gets a restraining/protective order.

He couch surfs after blowing the rest of his money on hotels (sound familiar?) One day he decides to visit her at work because she went no contact on him. That violated the restraining order so he went to jail.

This.

It was the violation of protection order that led to jail time.

 

[mothman96]

The ham dinner is scheduled for Easter:

 

[Stinkyboy]

I hope it’s a raw, bone in ham hock

There’s no way he has the facilities or faculties to make it edible

 

[Tiger Dink]

Looks like we might soon see a Kickstarter for 100 Energy Drink Wern

 

[mothman96]

Looks like we might soon see a Kickstarter for 100 Energy Drink Wern

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There's a saying - " a fool/sucker is born every minute". Some of them are sending money, DoorDash to the greedy, gluttonous POS. If the Creep does set up a Kickstarter, let's see if he draws in more fools/suckers.

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

There's a saying - " a fool/sucker is born every minute". Some of them are sending money, DoorDash to the greedy, gluttonous POS. If the Creep does set up a Kickstarter, let's see if he draws in more fools/suckers.

I’m willing to bet he gets greedy and makes the KS goal so high that he doesn’t meet it. KS is harder to create than go fund me types. I doubt he will be able to figure it out.

 

[Da Dude123]

There's a saying - " a fool/sucker is born every minute". Some of them are sending money, DoorDash to the greedy, gluttonous POS. If the Creep does set up a Kickstarter, let's see if he draws in more fools/suckers.

I hope not. I guess the enjoyment in sending him food is seeing him get fatter while simultaneously demanding a super model looks girlfriend while he shovels food in his mouth reminding everyone how plenty good he is. Not how I want to spend my money. While I disagree with it, I do kind of comprehend the idea behind fattening up the cow.

His board game ideas are mostly boring and nonsensical. Especially the ones he has done lately. The Dance of the Telomeres and Mckayla or whatever that one was, it was lunacy and made zero sense, but gave us more to laugh at. Throwing money at his board game ideas produces boring content. All his games lately are total snooze fests.

 

[Cnaiur urs Skiotha]

He was “under some stress trying to figure out some problems with Faster Than Light telemetrics and also cleaning up her messes in-between cooking her meals and shit.”

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Hahaha “faster than light telemetrics”, the thing where he tries to portray himself as an amateur theoretical physicist working on time travel/FTL is so hilarious, too bad we didn’t get more of that and instead have gotten mostly telomere nonsense. It’s such a child’s idea of a smart person.

Even nearly a decade ago in 2013 he was deep in the delusion that if you belong to XYZ groups you *have to* act a certain way. Suzanne was a Democrat and an (ex) Catholic, inconceivable that she wouldn’t forgive Lucas! Hypocrisy! You also know that for Lucas forgiveness means letting him do whatever he wants without consequence, just as charity means giving him whatever he wants without effort. In reality you could forgive your ex for an outburst but still not want to get back together.

I also love that the two good deeds he can cite for why he deserves forgiveness are “keeping his mouth shut” about something, ie not snitching, and some sporadic and possibly fictional soup kitchen volunteering where it sounds like he was annoying as fuck with in-your-face atheism.

Can I also just say, the atheism vs Christianity thing he’s obsessed with is so fucking dated. The height of this phase of the culture war was like, the Bush years. Even in 2013 when he posted this, it was dated. In 2022 he’s still mooing about it, nobody fucking cares bro.

 

[mothman96]

I hope not. I guess the enjoyment in sending him food is seeing him get fatter while simultaneously demanding a super model looks girlfriend while he shovels food in his mouth reminding everyone how plenty good he is. Not how I want to spend my money. While I disagree with it, I do kind of comprehend the idea behind fattening up the cow.

His board game ideas are mostly boring and nonsensical. Especially the ones he has done lately. The Dance of the Telomeres and Mckayla or whatever that one was, it was lunacy and made zero sense, but gave us more to laugh at. Throwing money at his board game ideas produces boring content. All his games lately are total snooze fests.

That's the benefit to us. We'll sit back knowing he'll get fatter and fatter at someone else's expense. Benefit to society, -the fatter he gets, the sooner he'll croak.

Hahaha “faster than light telemetrics”, the thing where he tries to portray himself as an amateur theoretical physicist working on time travel/FTL is so hilarious, too bad we didn’t get more of that and instead have gotten mostly telomere nonsense. It’s such a child’s idea of a smart person.

Even nearly a decade ago in 2013 he was deep in the delusion that if you belong to XYZ groups you *have to* act a certain way. Suzanne was a Democrat and an (ex) Catholic, inconceivable that she wouldn’t forgive Lucas! Hypocrisy! You also know that for Lucas forgiveness means letting him do whatever he wants without consequence, just as charity means giving him whatever he wants without effort. In reality you could forgive your ex for an outburst but still not want to get back together.

I also love that the two good deeds he can cite for why he deserves forgiveness are “keeping his mouth shut” about something, ie not snitching, and some sporadic and possibly fictional soup kitchen volunteering where it sounds like he was annoying as fuck with in-your-face atheism.

Can I also just say, the atheism vs Christianity thing he’s obsessed with is so fucking dated. The height of this phase of the culture war was like, the Bush years. Even in 2013 when he posted this, it was dated. In 2022 he’s still mooing about it, nobody fucking cares bro.

I'd say he expected the same from the christian run homeless shelters. Instead of banning him for his deranged behavior, the shelters should just have forgiven him and let him stay.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Hahaha “faster than light telemetrics”, the thing where he tries to portray himself as an amateur theoretical physicist working on time travel/FTL is so hilarious, too bad we didn’t get more of that and instead have gotten mostly telomere nonsense. It’s such a child’s idea of a smart person.

Even nearly a decade ago in 2013 he was deep in the delusion that if you belong to XYZ groups you *have to* act a certain way. Suzanne was a Democrat and an (ex) Catholic, inconceivable that she wouldn’t forgive Lucas! Hypocrisy! You also know that for Lucas forgiveness means letting him do whatever he wants without consequence, just as charity means giving him whatever he wants without effort. In reality you could forgive your ex for an outburst but still not want to get back together.

I also love that the two good deeds he can cite for why he deserves forgiveness are “keeping his mouth shut” about something, ie not snitching, and some sporadic and possibly fictional soup kitchen volunteering where it sounds like he was annoying as fuck with in-your-face atheism.

Can I also just say, the atheism vs Christianity thing he’s obsessed with is so fucking dated. The height of this phase of the culture war was like, the Bush years. Even in 2013 when he posted this, it was dated. In 2022 he’s still mooing about it, nobody fucking cares bro.

The reason he can't let go of his dated obsession with edgy atheism is because Lucas only defines himself in opposition to things, he never defines himself by an association with anything. He's an atheist because he's NOT a Christian, because Christians are bad. He's an atheist because God DIDN'T give him a girlfriend, he's a Democrat because he's NOT a worker. He's a Democrat because he's NOT rich. Even the way he looks is part of this obsession with opposition: Lucas doesn't have any fashion sense, he doesn't grow his hair long because he has some idea that long hair is particularly stylish, or particularly suited to his features, no. He grows his hair long, and doesn't wear baseball caps, and dresses the way he does because he's NOT a clone. He's NOT a flat bill. This even extends to his obsession with sleeping with preteens. He's never been with a preteen, so he doesn't have any "positive" (ie, drawn to them by things he knows to be true) reasons for wanting to creep on them, it's just based on his "I've tried everything else, so the one thing that I haven't tried must be the good thing" ethos.

 

[Da Dude123]

Also, I forgot to mention. I think the ham dinner bought by "Judas" on Easter Sunday is gonna be a joke on Lucas. "Judas" buying atheist Lucas an Easter dinner? Lol! I guess we will see.

 

[mothman96]

Another - it didn't happen, but hey Gen Z baes, it's always the right time for you to do the right thing and hop on his mangy stub of a dick. Just a heads up baes, you are going to have to push his huge fat sagging gut aside to find his little stub.

 

[neutral grandpa]

Another - it didn't happen, but hey Gen Z baes, it's always the right time for you to do the right thing and hop on his mangy stub of a dick. Just a heads up baes, you are going to have to push his huge fat sagging gut aside to find his little stub.

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this goes to show that any girl who ever speaks to lucas is setting themselves up to be stalked. hes so desperate for attention he will assume any compliment is a sign a girl wants to fuck him

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Another - it didn't happen, but hey Gen Z baes, it's always the right time for you to do the right thing and hop on his mangy stub of a dick. Just a heads up baes, you are going to have to push his huge fat sagging gut aside to find his little stub.

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Okay, I have two thoughts about this: the girl disappearing, and being complimentary to a shirt on Lucas's fat gut, makes me think she was possibly entirely illusory.

If she was real, just think of what it says about Lucas that he attaches this much significance to a one second interaction between total strangers. If the girl exists, I would bet you all the gold in Fort Knox that even if you showed her a picture of Lucas, she wouldn't remember the interaction.

But to lucas, it's a pleasurable fantasy that he replays in his head. He was so close!

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

What a charismatic ladies' man. Recounting to internet strangers the (alleged) times when you had minor everyday interactions with a woman out in the wild then framing them like it was the one that got away doesn't come off as extreme desparation at all. Most people would forget these encounters, but Lucas dwells on them and plays them in his head over and over like a movie. I don't think I'll ever get tired of his random "One time a girl talked to me but I couldn't ask her out because [convenient excuse]" posts.