Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Da Dude123]

AFAIR sofalaw rebels were behind the "Lacie" drama which produced the notorious dick pick and Lucas' post about having a small wiener.

I think the f-gots behind it were ShaoMane ( who got his sax stolen while busking in Spain) and some street skank who decided to troll Lucas.
It's also been said that Lucas' step-brother sometimes posted to SOFALAW.

It wasn't Lacie, the girl you are thinking of is "Corina". Her and Shao duped Lucas good. She messaged him about his small dick and how she did not want her son to have a small dick too. Lucas replied "he can always get a penis implant, m'lady.". Then she live streamed their date at Panera or wherever they went.

After that Lucas posted a video "Shao and Corina broke the law". True cow antics. Lacie was another situation, which I think Lucas actually acted worse by messaging her friends demanding they get her to sleep with him.

No cat fish must be in the pond right now.

 

[Dread First]

He failed at this. Let that sink in for a moment - how utterly incompetent he had to be to fuck that job up

Food service jobs are fucking awful not because they're innately difficult to do, but rather just how much repetition and tedium goes into it. When you're a line worker assembling burgers, roasting rotisserie chickens, making salads, or whatever else, you're confined within a really limited box.

That box is also uncomfortably hot, the surface of the floor never feels clean so non-skid shoes are a must, and you're also constantly doing the same motion multiple times over a period of 4-8/10/12 hours in a day. Make no mistake: this isn't a difficult job to do. Any rube can do it.

The real problem is finding a rube who's willing to endure all of that bullshit day in day out in an uncomfortable and potentially unsafe working environment with staggered shifts and everything. If Lucas's objections were purely "I hated the job and I think I can do slightly better than food service, like say bag boy at Walmart" then I would agree that his objections are well-founded.

Instead, he just wants to make Mt Everest out of a tiny sand dune on a beach. I could understand Lucas feeling that way if he spent 10 years as a line level employee never advancing further. But he quit McDonalds after like what? 1-3 months tops? I can't even give him points for "trying" with the aid of a job coach unlike Chris pre-motherfucking saga because Lucas still has Chris's entitlement issues and victim mentality.

 

[Jeep1971]

Food service jobs are fucking awful not because they're innately difficult to do, but rather just how much repetition and tedium goes into it. When you're a line worker assembling burgers, roasting rotisserie chickens, making salads, or whatever else, you're confined within a really limited box.

That box is also uncomfortably hot, the surface of the floor never feels clean so non-skid shoes are a must, and you're also constantly doing the same motion multiple times over a period of 4-8/10/12 hours in a day. Make no mistake: this isn't a difficult job to do. Any rube can do it.

The real problem is finding a rube who's willing to endure all of that bullshit day in day out in an uncomfortable and potentially unsafe working environment with staggered shifts and everything. If Lucas's objections were purely "I hated the job and I think I can do slightly better than food service, like say bag boy at Walmart" then I would agree that his objections are well-founded.

Instead, he just wants to make Mt Everest out of a tiny sand dune on a beach. I could understand Lucas feeling that way if he spent 10 years as a line level employee never advancing further. But he quit McDonalds after like what? 1-3 months tops? I can't even give him points for "trying" with the aid of a job coach unlike Chris pre-motherfucking saga because Lucas still has Chris's entitlement issues and victim mentality.

I'd imagine his hygiene was a factor at that McJob. You are working in very close warm quarters, you kinda need to shower,wash your hair,etc.

 

[NoosJunki]

In all fairness the fry station usually does double/triple/quadruple duty grilling/assembling burgs, running the chicken fryers and operating the toaster. Depends how many retards don't show up on that particular day.

That being said children and seniors are all fully capable of doing these herculean tasks sober and hungry.

They didn't have fry station doubling and tripling up in my day, two decades ago. How much they paying you poor bastids?

 

[TurdFondler]

They didn't have fry station doubling and tripling up in my day, two decades ago. How much they paying you poor bastids?

State minimum, obviously.

 

[Jeep1971]

The Wern is silent. Maybe he got a job?

 

[Da Dude123]

The Wern is silent. Maybe he got a job?

I would think Lucas would be moooing celebratory mooos and would be bragging how he is plenty good and a big boy for being a 42 year old man with a part time job, if he actually was hired somewhere. He knows better than to intentionally tell us where he is working, but he would slip up and dox his employer.

I am still thinking this job search thing is insincere and just a ploy to make himself look good. But sometimes Lucas surprises us.

 

[TurdFondler]

I think the Mallon wranglers make him try and look for work. Any sped they can shove out of long term care and into self sufficiency is one less they have to take care of.

 

[Stinkyboy]

A lot of social programs require the recipients to be “actively looking for work”, not sure if his upgrade is why he finally started doing the whole resumé thing (more responsibility for more freedom), but the timing lines up.

 

[Cnaiur urs Skiotha]

Okay since the milk runneth dry lately I was reading back in the thread, found this post with some hilariously insane tweets, but one in particular I think is absolutely fascinating.

A lot of good stuff here but the one that really gets my noggin joggin is third from the bottom:

I have a request. I want one incredible woman. The request isn't to anyone in particular because no one in particular can solve this problem. I'm just putting it out there. I want the most incredible woman.

Holy shit, right? He directly addresses what I always thought was one of his most insane behaviors, the fact that all his video rants are aimed at whole demographics or nobody at all. He actually shows some awareness here that yeah, he's not addressing anybody in particular, and he doesn't expect any individual person to actually be able to do this for him.

Seems almost like a moment of clarity, except then you remember the years of increasingly desperate video rants, the hundreds and hundreds of videos he made of himself screaming through the streets about how much he fuckin wants his incredible woman already. This tweet is from 2018 by the way, so there was plenty of anger and insanity both before and after this moment. But if Lucas was aware of this at one point... it's just... he's been screaming and begging no one to give him a teen gf. "The universe" or "society" or something. He does expect this to be done for him and is full of wounded rage that it isn't.

Idk, in other posts/videos he seems to believe a tangible, individual stranger is supposed to "solve this problem". He's a schizophrenic bum with no consistency to his beliefs, I shouldn't be surprised at this point. It's just very crazy to seem him acknowledge yeah this has all been screaming at no one. The nebulous nature of what audience he believes he addresses has always been one of the most unique and bizarre features of his madness, you don't get that from any other cow that I know of. It blurs the line between the parasocial and the purely schizophrenic magical thought and delusion.

 

[Big Nasty]

A lot of schizo rants are aimed at no one in particular. They just write to keep track of what they're thinking about.

 

[Broadside]

Okay since the milk runneth dry lately I was reading back in the thread, found this post with some hilariously insane tweets, but one in particular I think is absolutely fascinating.

View attachment 3482538

A lot of good stuff here but the one that really gets my noggin joggin is third from the bottom:


Holy shit, right? He directly addresses what I always thought was one of his most insane behaviors, the fact that all his video rants are aimed at whole demographics or nobody at all. He actually shows some awareness here that yeah, he's not addressing anybody in particular, and he doesn't expect any individual person to actually be able to do this for him.

Seems almost like a moment of clarity, except then you remember the years of increasingly desperate video rants, the hundreds and hundreds of videos he made of himself screaming through the streets about how much he fuckin wants his incredible woman already. This tweet is from 2018 by the way, so there was plenty of anger and insanity both before and after this moment. But if Lucas was aware of this at one point... it's just... he's been screaming and begging no one to give him a teen gf. "The universe" or "society" or something. He does expect this to be done for him and is full of wounded rage that it isn't.

Idk, in other posts/videos he seems to believe a tangible, individual stranger is supposed to "solve this problem". He's a schizophrenic bum with no consistency to his beliefs, I shouldn't be surprised at this point. It's just very crazy to seem him acknowledge yeah this has all been screaming at no one. The nebulous nature of what audience he believes he addresses has always been one of the most unique and bizarre features of his madness, you don't get that from any other cow that I know of. It blurs the line between the parasocial and the purely schizophrenic magical thought and delusion.

His mother must've really damaged him. He appears stuck on some sort of complex where he wants something, doesn't get it, so screams louder and louder till he gets it. He is fixated on the idea that if he just moos loud enough, he'll get what he wants. Because he deserves it, of course.

 

[Free the Pedos]

His mother must've really damaged him. He appears stuck on some sort of complex where he wants something, doesn't get it, so screams louder and louder till he gets it. He is fixated on the idea that if he just moos loud enough, he'll get what he wants. Because he deserves it, of course.

I'm sure his mother didn't help, but his schizophrenia deserves the bulk of the blame.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

A lot of schizo rants are aimed at no one in particular. They just write to keep track of what they're thinking about.

True, but Lucas goes FAR beyond that.

He talks as if masses ARE individual people. It's uniquely him, and indicative of the reality that he's not actually looking for a human being, he's searching for something to make the hate, jealousy, and shame go away.

That's why all of his most maladaptive strategies are so transparently about bragging and blustering. His insecurities are rooted in the knowledge that he's a failure, but he very much can't EVER take responsibility for this, so he uses what little enjoyment he can squeeze out of his life moment-to-moment to try and balm that ache.

What does he have? Food, and his phone. So food becomes "look at what I have" and social media is almost exclusively "look at how much smarter and more moral than you I am". Most normal folks don't use food as an emotional opiate and social media SOLELY as a dick-measuring contest, so Lucas is puzzled that his displays of how much better he is and has than you don't create the sort of response he thinks they should. He has STILL seemingly never realized that most people don't see the world the way he does. Obviously Voices on The Wind being one of the most dramatic examples of this.

Individual circumstances terrify Lucas because they're too random; he wants the abracadabra that works on everyone , must work on everyone, because engaging on an individual level is fraught with possibilities for failure.

When Lucas is forced by circumstances to interact with individuals he tends to be immediately bested, shamed, and then spend an inordinate amount of time replaying these little dramas in his head to cast himself in a better light: He KNEW Lacie was trolling; what, you think he actually LIKED her? Pshaw. When a woman talked to him at the park, apparently interrupting him making a video or something, he said "Bye!' sarcastically and walked off the victor. Well, actually he slunk silently away with tail between legs, but....he likes the first version better.

 

[WonderWino]

True, but Lucas goes FAR beyond that.

He talks as if masses ARE individual people. It's uniquely him, and indicative of the reality that he's not actually looking for a human being, he's searching for something to make the hate, jealousy, and shame go away.

Why do you eat garbage?
Not garbage...cheesy cukes
Why?
The paaaaiiiiinnnnnn. The pain of being wern
What about the pain?
It makes the pain go away. I can feel myself becoming morbidly obese....of my feet rotting off....the voices on the wind mocking me! always mocking me! Its in the cards you old hag!
How about that....it hurts to be a morbidly obese sped

This is dispatch, come in?
Come in dispatch......send more clinkerdaggers takeout

Its astounding how legitimately stupid lucas truly is. His binary thinking and bizarre logic is so fucked up and debilitating that if he were living anywhere else in the country or at any other time in history he'd be dead. Hell he couldn't even survive in canada - he'd freeze to death anywhere but BC and if he was there he'd be killed inside of a week by some addict in east vancouver. Even in spokane he's barely able to survive outside of his nursing home or fartbox and even in such places he's barely tolerated and always one wrong word away from having a spaz out that will put him back out on the street to die

EDIT:

Decided to have some fun with some more infamous wern pics:

This one is uncanny wern behavior

Sea shanty wern is best wern

Happy birthday from the wern

Cute older daddy finally loses it

The wern shows off his moves to lady z

 

[Cow-Lovin' Fool]

Its insane how much younger he looked just a few yrs ago.

 

[mothman96]

I'm sure his mother didn't help, but his schizophrenia deserves the bulk of the blame.

Lucas is an all out evil, malignant POS. His mental illness makes him unable to hide it.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Lucas is an all out evil, malignant POS. His mental illness makes him unable to hide it.

100% agree. Lucas definitely has serious mental problems, just like Russell Greer genuinely has a congenital disfigurement, but their biggest faults, and the root of all of their self-destruction, are their uniquely horrible personalities.

 

[WonderWino]

Its interesting there hasn't been any update on how his resume creation is going. Not that he's likely to get in anywhere, let alone last more than a very short time in any job. But what do you expect from someone who's telomeres are so short that they need a high chair to reach his chromosomes

 

[Da Dude123]

Its interesting there hasn't been any update on how his resume creation is going. Not that he's likely to get in anywhere, let alone last more than a very short time in any job. But what do you expect from someone who's telomeres are so short that they need a high chair to reach his chromosomes

His jobs guy supposedly put a good word in with some employers. I wonder what the latest on that is. The month is about half over, Lucas was supposed to get new shoes and glasses this month, so he has them. When is the appointment, Nigga Luke?