Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

Hi jobs guy supposedly put a good word in with some employers. I wonder what the latest on that is. The month is about half over, Lucas was supposed to get new shoes and glasses this month, so he has them. When is the appointment, Nigga Luke?
Hmm.... new shoes, new glasses....he'll probably want some hair gel to mix with his grease....and something to help with his sore throat from all that ranting and raving he does in videos. I can see it now:

Lucas the nerd. I'm sure the zoomers will cream their panties at the mere thought of an insane, morbidly obese pseudointellectual board game designer that looks like that
 
Hmm.... new shoes, new glasses....he'll probably want some hair gel to mix with his grease....and something to help with his sore throat from all that ranting and raving he does in videos. I can see it now:

Lucas the nerd. I'm sure the zoomers will cream their panties at the mere thought of an insane, morbidly obese pseudointellectual board game designer that looks like that
He's been a dry cow....he must have an amazing tard wrangler now. He's not even posting gross food anymore.
 
He's been a dry cow....he must have an amazing tard wrangler now. He's not even posting gross food anymore.
Thats pretty telling in itself. He went from posting normal (by wern standards) cooking videos to just not posting any videos at all including cooking ones. I can't see him doing that on his own out of nowhere as he likely wanted to use them as bait for getting donations like he did before. So why stop almost immediately unless he was forced to? Why even start in the first place?

I'm starting to wonder if there have been complaints about his videos and he was told no videos of any kind and got in shit for putting out that nacho one by a wrangler who was paying more attention than he's used to
 
I hope his new roommate beat him up and stole his phone.
This is always a possibility,however I think it's more likely he's being wrangled. Mallon nursing home had policies about filming too but this time it's different. He isn't filming at all. He could still go outside and moo.
Or maybe he dropped the phone in the toilet and has to wait for his tugboat to replace it? It could be a myriad of things but he can't stand to not get internet attention for long.
 
I think all the drugs have reached high enough levels that they're doing their job and, combined with massive weight gain, his natural lethargy, and middle age, are making Lucas what he's always been when he's not shrieking and making a fool of himself: BORING.

I think he mostly sleeps and eats, and with the antipsychotics drowning out the Voices on The Wind, that's enough to keep him satisfied.

Unless he goes off meds, I don't foresee a return to his manic milk production.

Sucks, but that's how I see it.
 
I don't remember seeing this and it didn't show up on the semi-broken search, so just in case, some ween did this well over a year ago.
wernmem.jpg


Those comments must have infuriated him. I'm surprised that 'mia' didn't leave a note and that 'myrna' didn't post, lamenting 'well I guess I was right, it wasn't in the cards for you in the end'
 
Has the tard finally been wrangled? It is as good as a theory as any why tubby is not mooing and reeeing online anymore.

Typically, case managers and social workers don't care enough to try and control people. And why should they? They have a terrible job and terrible pay. And talk about a thankless job! Helping cows like Lucas Werner. He is super ungrateful and entitled.

Maybe he got an overzealous case worker or he caught the attention of management at Mallon Place and they really tightened the screws on him? The medicine could be part of it too.

It sucks. We just gotta wait and see. I wonder if any catfish are reaching out to him? We need more info!
 
I think its obvious whats going on - his trips to mental hospitals and nursing homes are just a cover to hide the fact that he's in a hidden location in some cave in the spokane woods, hibernating in his ra's al ghul style lazarus pit, filled with gen x seed, fecund ova mash and telomerase. Its how he has survived the beetus and hobo lifestyle for so long. He'll stay submerged there, biding his time until he can find the right zoomer bae to drag into the cave and submerge with him, to combine their bodies into the perfect, healthy, extra fecund superman

It also explains why he always comes out of the 'hospital' crazier than when he went in and why he is so obsessed with genetics and biology. Lucas really was a genius scientist before exposure to his own creation drove him insane and led him to a life as a deranged hobo

EDIT:

Holy shit I think I found ethnic lucas werner:
LYRICS

The sweet rush is not for you,
no, you are denied this immaculate prize,
The walls close, the hearts collapse,
oh there's no way out...no, no there's no way out,
Just go, scream, that primal scream...as the darkness all melds,
and the shade is like Hell. No faith for the faithless swine...
no hope for the hopeless divine.
Just let it hang...chill out, just sway with the noose,
it'll all be— Fine is black, since you despise the light, why let fear come in?
Such a dreadful thing... The hate's in your soul and the gun's loaded up,
it's come down to you...you've got a job to do.
You despair, you freak, your cowardice weeps and in the bitter end,
it dies. No one hears your last goodbyes.
It's a cancer of the brain it seems...
so much for all your sorry hopes and dreams.
Just let it end...you'll be glad when it's over and you are—

(Burn the witch)

Copyright Emil Fernando 2007

Now tell me that doesn't give off tons of creepy incel wern vibes
 
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two years ago, the wern supplied us with one of the best freakouts from the fat albert saga
It's amazing how he's able to trick himself to believing that make believe scenario he conjured up is real
The best part of that video is how he claims each cow cost $150,000 to raise which somehow translates to him being a millionaire in 25 years, despite the fact that a simple google search puts the amount to raise a single cow at about $670 per year, or $33,500 per year for the entire herd of 50 cattle he brags about (and thats in canadian dollars so even less than that from his point of view in the US). It doesn't even remotely make sense that a single cow would cost anywhere near what he claims it does as it would make it too expensive to raise cattle and beef would be so expensive nobody would be able to buy it

Also happiness is a new cell phone and a burrito is peak lucas
 
Some recent Facebook posts. Nothing too good. Claims he is applying for jobs. I still wanna know about the shoes and glasses. Screenshot_20220717-212130~2.png

Edit:. New post about "body shaming". So the guys who body shame are chubby chasers? Is that what he is saying? Lucas while being a fat bovine thinks he should only date thin attractive women since he is so plenty good. Not sure what the hell he is trying to say in this. But I do enjoy body shaming Lucas.


Screenshot_20220717-223647~2.png
 
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Some recent Facebook posts. Nothing too good. Claims he is applying for jobs. I still wanna know about the shoes and glasses. View attachment 3501601

Edit:. New post about "body shaming". So the guys who body shame are chubby chasers? Is that what he is saying? Lucas while being a fat bovine thinks he should only date thin attractive women since he is so plenty good. Not sure what the hell he is trying to say in this. But I do enjoy body shaming Lucas.


View attachment 3501978
Leave it to Fatty to miss the rhetorical wit of the questions in Once in a lifetime.

Same as it ever was, same as it ever was.
 
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