Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

You hit the nail on the head I think. Lucas masturbating to cooking shows. He probably also did see Mexican hot chocolate, Aztec drinks and or mole, so thinks dumping a package of chill flakes he probably stole from a Domino's into his group home brand X instant was fancy.

I hate to say I agree with fatty but, in regards to his fungus alien shit we as humans don't really know what aliens could be. We kinda are fixed on little green men or other tropes from sci Fi or media. For all we know maybe there's a semi sentient rock out there.

Granted Lucas then goes and stupids the whole point up with his broke brain babble. He's so full of himself and really thinks just throwing long word salads make him seem smart.

I'll also accept any irony from my long form posts.

This whole weird thing, about different things men and women want in cooking is just strange. It's not the kind of stuff a healthy mind comes up with.

As a hunter, if I smelled like deer I'd probably be more successful. Lucas probably smells like a deer. Not because he's more man than I. But because he smells like a doe hit by a Kent worth in the middle of summer last week.

We know he doesn't like to bathe he's a stinky boy. Lucas we know you read here, can you tell us some stories about bath time as a little kid? Did Mryna have to give your bitch tit having 9 year old self Oreos for being a brave boy and using shampoo?

Is that why you don't shower? No one to get you a cheese steak for scrubbing your pits?
 
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Bassomatic said:
You hit the nail on the head I think. Lucas masturbating to cooking shows. He probably also did see Mexican hot chocolate, Aztec drinks and or mole, so thinks dumping a package of chill flakes he probably stole from a Domino's into his group home brand X instant was fancy.

I hate to say I agree with fatty but, in regards to his fungus alien shit we as humans don't really know what aliens could be. We kinda are fixed on little green men or other tropes from sci Fi or media. For all we know maybe there's a semi sentient rock out there.

Granted Lucas then goes and stupids the whole point up with his broke brain babble. He's so full of himself and really thinks just throwing long word salads make him seem smart.

I'll also accept any irony from my long form posts.

This whole weird thing, about different things men and women want in cooking is just strange. It's not the kind of stuff a healthy mind comes up with.

As a hunter, if I smelled like deer I'd probably be more successful. Lucas probably smells like a deer. Not because he's more man than I. But because he smells like a doe hit by a Kent worth in the middle of summer last week.

We know he doesn't like to bathe he's a stinky boy. Lucas we know you read here, can you tell us some stories about bath time as a little kid? Did Mryna have to give your bitch tit having 9 year old self Oreos for being a brave boy and using shampoo?

Is that why you don't shower? No one to get you a cheese steak for scrubbing your pits?
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a sentient rock sounds like the kind of alien lucas is closest to. Though the rock is likely smarter. Lucas sitting in his darkened room furiously masturbating to some martha stewart type making a giant steak certainly sounds like something lucas would do. It would also fit with his former 'lesbian roommates' mentioning that they wouldn't eat his mac & cheese because he kept making 'jokes' about jerking off in it. I don't think those were jokes, he was making some legit beef strokin' off for dinner that he desperately wanted them to eat I think

I wonder if somebody convinced lucas that zoomer baes are addicted to the smell of fresh cut grass if he would go outside and roll all over the lawn like a fat golden retriever and then waddle up to some teen girl covered in grass stains and clumps of grass and say 'hi my name is lucas. do you like how I smell?' No way that would end badly for him at all i'm sure

I mean he was stupid enough to rub that foot cream all over his face and nearly put himself in the hospital over it so thats not too far off really. I'm a bit surprised he didn't take the common knowledge that women tend to love chocolate and go full finch in american wedding, take his shirt off and cover himself with nesquik syrup before wandering up to a zoomer bae and giving her some horrifyingly creepy line like 'see this chocolate? i'm sweet for you my sweet'

Lucas definitely comes off as the kid who hated to bathe and had to be bribed or forced to then quit and soon as he left home. Just the way he reacts to being called on it screams he hates bathing
 
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Bassomatic said:
You hit the nail on the head I think. Lucas masturbating to cooking shows. He probably also did see Mexican hot chocolate, Aztec drinks and or mole, so thinks dumping a package of chill flakes he probably stole from a Domino's into his group home brand X instant was fancy.

I hate to say I agree with fatty but, in regards to his fungus alien shit we as humans don't really know what aliens could be. We kinda are fixed on little green men or other tropes from sci Fi or media. For all we know maybe there's a semi sentient rock out there.

Granted Lucas then goes and stupids the whole point up with his broke brain babble. He's so full of himself and really thinks just throwing long word salads make him seem smart.

I'll also accept any irony from my long form posts.

This whole weird thing, about different things men and women want in cooking is just strange. It's not the kind of stuff a healthy mind comes up with.

As a hunter, if I smelled like deer I'd probably be more successful. Lucas probably smells like a deer. Not because he's more man than I. But because he smells like a doe hit by a Kent worth in the middle of summer last week.

We know he doesn't like to bathe he's a stinky boy. Lucas we know you read here, can you tell us some stories about bath time as a little kid? Did Mryna have to give your bitch tit having 9 year old self Oreos for being a brave boy and using shampoo?

Is that why you don't shower? No one to get you a cheese steak for scrubbing your pits?
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Extremely OT: if we look at how animals seem to evolve commonly, especially predators, it will likely be something crab shaped. Everything fucking evolves into crabs or wants to, e v e r y t h i n g.
That or some kind of marsupial. Before The Great Dying, almost all mammals were marsupials or were connected to it in some way. However, I don't think it would be that evolved. Woth how close we were to the big bang, most species are probably at best in the simple organism phase. So bacterial colonies like bottle jellys, or some kind of fungus like a more intricate slime mold would be my first guess.
My personal hope is that we meet a sentient crab fungus thing that looks like one of those living rocks if you crack open the shell.
.....oh god imagine if something from the deep sea was the closest thing to a current alien? Like that one octopus with arms that go on for something like 36 feet?
 
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Flaming_Barghast said:
Extremely OT: if we look at how animals seem to evolve commonly, especially predators, it will likely be something crab shaped. Everything fucking evolves into crabs or wants to, e v e r y t h i n g.
That or some kind of marsupial. Before The Great Dying, almost all mammals were marsupials or were connected to it in some way. However, I don't think it would be that evolved. Woth how close we were to the big bang, most species are probably at best in the simple organism phase. So bacterial colonies like bottle jellys, or some kind of fungus like a more intricate slime mold would be my first guess.
My personal hope is that we meet a sentient crab fungus thing that looks like one of those living rocks if you crack open the shell.
.....oh god imagine if something from the deep sea was the closest thing to a current alien? Like that one octopus with arms that go on for something like 36 feet?
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Cold be worse....better than aliens that are hybrid eight legged marsupial crab people. Maybe south park was on to something with the crab people. Though knowing lucas, if he met one of them he'd try to kill it, eat its legs with melted butter and some horrifying sauce, along with half a pound of pepper and end up provoking an intergalactic war between humans and alien crab people
 
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Question for the medical Kiwis here. Do you think his miraculous recovery from renal failure and his collapse back into psychosis are related? I know that atypical antipsychotics can cause organ damage and I can't imagine Mellon Place would tolerate Lucas going full Wern unless there was a good reason. I'm wondering if taking him off his meds is a way to save his kidneys at the expense of what little sanity he had.

Related: Dr. Keefe discusses the link between schizophrenia and retardation.

 
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The latest wern meme from brokeposting:
wernmeme.jpg

Though to be fair lucas is literally all of those things
 
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VoidFace said:
Oh good, we're back to the nonsensical atheistic ramblings where the premises have absolutely no connection to the conclusion.
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We're rapidly heading towards the most enjoyable part of his cycle. Where he's out on the street screaming at people. Hopefully we get another video of him being wrangled by the men with the butterfly nets.
 
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VoidFace said:
Oh good, we're back to the nonsensical atheistic ramblings where the premises have absolutely no connection to the conclusion.
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There is no evidence elves or hobgoblins created the universe therefore god can't exist

Even for lucas that's a special kind of retard logic. There is no evidence bigfoot built mallon place therefore a construction company couldn't have built it either. I guess lucas's current fartbox is just one giant delusion and he's really just sitting under a bridge imagining he's really in a nursing home apartment, and jamie is really just a pile of trash he found next to him that he's been losing imaginary board games against this whole time

Twrx said:
We're rapidly heading towards the most enjoyable part of his cycle. Where he's out on the street screaming at people. Hopefully we get another video of him being wrangled by the men with the butterfly nets.
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Yeah his recent behavior does seem to show he's heading in that direction. If mallon place doesn't wrangle him and pump him full of psych meds the screaming chimpout is inevitable and from the looks of it isn't too far off. The disordered thinking, nonsensical comparisons and hints of anger and jealousy have already started to show themselves. He sure picked the wrong time of year to chimpout and get tossed on the street. Interesting that this started not long after his recent attempts to make easy money and getting fucked over. I wonder if its a lack of money to stuff his face combined with starting to realize his current existence is the best he can hope for for the rest of his life and it made him wig out and prefer going off the meds and inevitably going nuts and ending up back on the street and out of his mind to having no money and being stuck in mallon place without a zoomer bae for the rest of his life.

Typical lucas idiocy. Sabotage himself to get dumped on the street but hey at least he'll be able to stuff his greedy mouth full of prime rib a couple times a month and live in homeless shelters or the woods, at least until he gets banned from the ones he hasn't already been. Considering his health can't be very good at this point I won't be surprised if his next hobo arc is his last one due to rapidly declining health. Look how bad he got last time. Getting into mallon place is likely the only reason he isn't already dead

and of course when the chimpout happens it will totally not be his fault at all and it'll be the staff or a resident or even jamie that made lucas do what he does to get the boot
 
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not in the cards said:
Any ideas why that might be?
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The only thing that makes sense is they found the right combination of meds that treat his host of issues and that have bought him some time. Something for the kidneys themselves, something for his diabetes (I had previously speculated ozempic or similar), and as others have said possibly pulling some or all of the psych meds.

Even if he chimps out, I doubt he'll immediately get thrown out. He's been low-key and compliant for too long, he'll get a bunch of second chances and they may end up just putting him back on his meds and say fuck his kidneys. He's definitely in rage mode, and I hope we get some videos of him walking the streets and interacting with others, but when was the last time we saw him outside Mallon? I remember some videos from last spring where he was just sitting at the outside picnic table and sounded like a smoker with stage 3 COPD, his health may still be bad enough he can't do his roamings anymore.
 
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A Friendly Possum said:
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Lucas 'I know science' werner apparently forgot that current understanding of the laws of physics pretty much proves faster than light travel isn't possible. He's literally just pulling numbers out of his schizo brain and throwing things together that he thinks makes him sound smart. and between that weird gesture and unmedicated mental illness expression it looks like he's cupping some guys balls he's about to suck off

His watch argument isn't any less mental. You find a watch in the woods and presume it had a designer? I don't presume shit, its a watch. Somebody had to have made it. If anything this kind of 'logic' directly contradicts the points he is trying to make. That face also makes him look absolutely psycho. Giving somebody that look in public is a good way to get a beat down if you do it to the wrong person

and of course he's back on his insane made up language nonsense. Also unsurprisingly his example is literally his standard pickup line. He legitimately thinks posting this shit makes him sound intelligent, when this is exactly the kind of thing severely mentally ill people do. I'm sure it would go over real well if lucas and jamie sat in the day room at mallon place talking his made up gibberish and lucas started getting angry and confrontational about how jamie isn't getting his word salad right. Its the kind of thing that'll make people think he's having some kind of psychotic episode. Yeah, real smart plan lucas, talk incoherent gibberish to people and make insane board games out of it. I'm sure that will make people think you're sane and not completely unhinged at all. I'm sure the zoomer baes will just love it too, cause all 16 year old girls love obese hobos in their mid 40s approaching them and trying to impress them with how you say 'hi how are you' in a schizo word salad language they made up at the nursing home. It won't make them reach for their pepper spray at all. Totally romantic, just like whispering naughty things in french or italian during an expensive dinner

and you just know this is exactly what he's thinking which is why he used his pickup line as an example. Plus he's clearly just repeating shit he read on wikipedia that he doesn't understand in the slightest. Lets take away his phone for a minute and see how he explains what vowel suffix's and dipthongs are in his own words in person. He'd either talk complete nonsense or spaz out

i'd also like to see him use some of those terms on random women. Lets see how a female german teen tourist reacts to the obese, reeking obviously crazy bumcel waddling up with his schizo language trying to introduce himself and using Du. I'm sure the implications of that will go over real well and won't get him slapped upside the head, pepper sprayed or have her boyfriend give him a shitkicking at all

and after that he can approach some asian teen and spout his cha che chi cho chu gibberish and see how fast he gets slapped if not kicked in the nuts by her while being screamed at that he's a racist republican, thinking he's trying to do some parody of chinese to impress or insult her in some way

and his birthday mention totally isn't a smug attempt at not so subtly hinting he wants people to give him money and buy him shit next month. Thats the same expression he tends to do when he does his weird voices as well. Its no wonder he turns up with unexplained black eyes as often as he does if he's going around giving people looks like that
 
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A Friendly Possum said:
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I had forgotten that his "beard," no matter how offensively bad and pube like it is, is still somehow better than clean shaven Wern. Yikes.

And one thing I've always found most annoying about Lucas is how bad he is at being an atheist. It should be really simple: "do I believe in a god? No. Job done." But instead he makes up or (worse yet) completely misunderstands already established arguments. The argument against the watchmaker is "you'd know it is designed because you contrast it against nature." Instead of that, though, he goes off on some random, nonsensical tangent about individuality. And even if we were to just grant his nonsensical premises: that wouldn't disprove a god. How can someone, anyone, be this fucking dumb?
 
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