Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[AlexaAutismo]

Holy shit. Thank you for the Christmas gift Lucas!


Edit: Fixed link and adding archive because Lucas may remove it again

Spoiler: Video Archive

 

[skellig58]

I've DM'd for about forever in various gaming worlds, I'd throw Pukas's ass out the minute he wanted to be an "irresistible telomere wizard". But I would love to see how he'd handle Warhammer 40k!

Everything is fucking heresy. Like wanting to fuck children.

 

[wenttobermuda]

I haven't DM'd, let alone played, in nearly a decade. Come to think of it, I do miss it a bit, but I've other ways to waste my recreational time that I enjoy more.

Purchased the relaunch of V:tM out of nostalgia. Now, if I were to run a game with Lucas, that'd be it.

He could be a delusional Malkavian obsessed with impregnating teens even though his shriveled, dead vampire dick can't get hard. Or a bitter, deformed Nosferatu street person. Neither would be much of a stretch.

 

[The I Scream Man]

The comparisons (and contrasts) between your average D&D neckbeard and Mucas are very apt imo, because as a couple people have pointed out over the past couple pages the neckbeard is merely socially inept and thus can be trained to be normal. To be specific, they want to improve, even if they can't get over themselves to do so (which is where you gotta start with some of these kids)

Mucas is the opposite, he doesn't want to improve because he thinks he's perfect just the way he is, in spite of the overwhelming evidence to the contrary. It sucks that his brain is fucked up and miswired to the point where he can't see what's going on, and I do feel bad for him because man those brief moments of lucidity gotta suck big time, but there's no sympathy for his actions or his behavior. If you're busted and don't want to fix it then that's on you pal

Merry Christmas Lucas, I hope you stub your toe real bad and rage against a piece of furniture

 

[Wernology]

I've DM'd for about forever in various gaming worlds, I'd throw Pukas's ass out the minute he wanted to be an "irresistible telomere wizard". But I would love to see how he'd handle Warhammer 40k!

Everything is fucking heresy. Like wanting to fuck children.

He reminds me of the two guys in those Fear of Girls comedy bits from 2011, honestly, especially with the delusion of being better and more enlightened than everyone (and being some kind of elite gamer, using that as one of his excuses for why he doesn't have any friends to play games with).

 

[Hey Lucas]

What does this guy have against dice anyway? He thinks diceless games are guaranteed to be better than games with dice. In one of his homemade game, you're supposed to throw the gaming pieces.

It’s pretty clear that Lucas has read a lot about games online, even though he can’t get a friend to play with him.

A lot of people dislike dice in games because they add a randomness factor. If you’re drawing from a deck of cards, each card pretty much has an equal chance of appearing, but a die can constantly roll to same or similar numbers (especially if the die is off balance).

A lot of games mitigate dice roll randomness pretty well, though. Lucas’s total bias against them shows that he’s more or less regurgitating talking points he’s read, without delving very deep into them.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Does that store have game nights? Not that Lucas would benefit from it. One of the most important parts of game night is who you're playing with and that you enjoy their company. No one would want to play with Lucas, for reasons that are apparent to anyone who has read the thread. He'd walk off muttering they're bigots or whatever because they wouldn't tolerate his insanity and bad behavior.

He seems to like games similar to why CWC likes video games - it's a collecting behavior. That said, it seems Chris does play a lot of video games that he likes, but he has been seen buying games just to buy them.

 

[WonderWino]

Well it looks like this game obsession saga is starting to show just how stupid lucas is and how his obsession with games highlights his lack of ability to think ahead beyond his own immediate desires. Case in point, his latest video:

He says he found this game called case blue. He mentions that its a massive game that costs between $400 and $650 or so and states his plan for getting it is to go back to school in september, specifically so he can get financial aid to buy this game. But no, that isn't the stupidest part of the plan. He flat out admits that he will likely not play it, and says he doesn't need to because 'wants to own it, look at it and study it' in his quest to create the perfect board game. He mentions that it can take up to 2 real life weeks to play through a full session (gee I wonder what he would be doing instead of studying for school) he also goes on to say how he wants it because its 'really expensive, highly rated and highly complex' and again hints at his dislike that it uses dice to simulate some mechanics. He really can't get past this 'its super complex therefore it must be the best' theory, when some of the best games ever made are some of the simplest in concept and design. The more complex it becomes the more difficult it becomes to design and build a good game. But mr big brained game designer doesn't understand that simple concept. I'm starting to think if he wants to go back to school he should at least sign up for a game development and design program. I'm sure he would love the idea....until the reality of it set in and the program ate him alive.

He goes on to say he 'wants to combine a war game with a resource management game so that it would be an area control game' and says this like it is a new concept. He calls it a 'perfect game' Clearly he doesn't play many games, board or otherwise. He should look up hearts of iron on steam

He also gets a message from his dad on instagram while he is filming the video and goes on to claim that his parents didn't get him anything for christmas this years, which we know is a lie because he made a big deal of gloating about the $25 gift card card they sent him. That aside, they clearly want as little to do with him as possible. They clearly know hes a lost cause and will only get worse

 

[mothman96]

The insane perv is going to be the insane capitalist within the next 15 years. He'll be saying to a girl(s)s 18-21, "where were you when I was poor". Looks like he's expecting his dad and/or mom to kick the bucket by the time he's 55, leaving him a bundle of cash.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

I guess he wants to learn about complex games because he thinks it makes him look deep. Same with him wanting to design a complex game. Of course, his games are going to be gobbledygook to anyone other than him.

If he wanted to impress people by being really good at board games, he should try go or chess. They have pretty simple rules, even kids can be good at them, but they're deep and complex enough that you could spend a whole lifetime studying and perfecting your game. People who are good enough to play in national or international tournaments are legitimately impressive people who most likely are accomplished in other areas of life as well.

Also, LOL at him wanting to buy a $500+ board game that he won't even play (which is pretty luxurious of him) juxtaposed against his supposedly anti-capitalist, anti-classism facade.

 

[DeletedSoul]

Well it looks like this game obsession saga is starting to show just how stupid lucas is and how his obsession with games highlights his lack of ability to think ahead beyond his own immediate desires. Case in point, his latest video:

He says he found this game called case blue. He mentions that its a massive game that costs between $400 and $650 or so and states his plan for getting it is to go back to school in september, specifically so he can get financial aid to buy this game. But no, that isn't the stupidest part of the plan. He flat out admits that he will likely not play it, and says he doesn't need to because 'wants to own it, look at it and study it' in his quest to create the perfect board game. He mentions that it can take up to 2 real life weeks to play through a full session (gee I wonder what he would be doing instead of studying for school) he also goes on to say how he wants it because its 'really expensive, highly rated and highly complex' and again hints at his dislike that it uses dice to simulate some mechanics. He really can't get past this 'its super complex therefore it must be the best' theory, when some of the best games ever made are some of the simplest in concept and design. The more complex it becomes the more difficult it becomes to design and build a good game. But mr big brained game designer doesn't understand that simple concept. I'm starting to think if he wants to go back to school he should at least sign up for a game development and design program. I'm sure he would love the idea....until the reality of it set in and the program ate him alive.

He goes on to say he 'wants to combine a war game with a resource management game so that it would be an area control game' and says this like it is a new concept. He calls it a 'perfect game' Clearly he doesn't play many games, board or otherwise. He should look up hearts of iron on steam

He also gets a message from his dad on instagram while he is filming the video and goes on to claim that his parents didn't get him anything for christmas this years, which we know is a lie because he made a big deal of gloating about the $25 gift card card they sent him. That aside, they clearly want as little to do with him as possible. They clearly know hes a lost cause and will only get worse

This is a good time to remember that once upon a time his parents gave him a pre-owned laptop for Christmas or his birthday or something, and a whole year later, after visiting untold numbers of dodgy websites and looking at God knows what kind of porn, Lucas had the temerity to bitch at length on Facebook about it being a malware ridden piece of junk.

If I were his parents, after that? I wouldn't give him so much as a dime store greeting card.

 

[Scribbler]

The insane perv is going to be the insane capitalist within the next 15 years. He'll be saying to a girl(s)s 18-21, "where were you when I was poor". Looks like he's expecting his dad and/or mom to kick the bucket by the time he's 55, leaving him a bundle of cash.

"Where were you when I was poor?"

Likely in school, Lucas, being underage and all. Not that it really matters. He'll never be in a position to say that, anyway.

 

[Garfieldchu]

$500? Surely he could pay some 18-24 year old to get on his dick right now right now right now for that kind of money. It just goes to show how getting laid is largely incidental to impregnation.

 

[Da Dude123]

Lucas keeps talking about how all these Gen Z girls are Yang Gang and Feeling the Bern. Are they? I think Lucas just believes they are. Like I have mentioned before, all these liberal politicians that Lucas thinks are wonderful have money and are not interested in becoming poor. Bernie Sanders won't sell one his vacation homes to donate the money to Pioneer Services of Washington State.

Lucas is so simple. He thinks if girls like these liberal politicians then they should be open to dating welfare leeches like him. Not likely! He is on a Yang Gang kick. Thinks all 18-24 year old women who are Yang Gangsters should be open to dating a struggling blogger/comedian like him. He is really getting agitated about it.

 

[DeletedSoul]

$500? Surely he could pay some 18-24 year old to get on his dick right now right now right now for that kind of money. It just goes to show how getting laid is largely incidental to impregnation.

Lucas has been asked directly about prostitution several times. I don't remember his verbatim responses, but his attitude boils down to "I don't want to pay for sex, I want the millennial hotties to line up for me because it's me."

Now for any other person, I can understand the desire to know you can attract someone based on you as a person instead of the cash in your pocket, but Lucas will never, ever get to fuck on his own merits. And even that by itself wouldn't be a problem, except he has this insane self image that he's atheism's gift to women, and it endlessly frustrates him that reality doesn't line up with this delusion.

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

Lucas keeps talking about how all these Gen Z girls are Yang Gang and Feeling the Bern. Are they? I think Lucas just believes they are. Like I have mentioned before, all these liberal politicians that Lucas thinks are wonderful have money and are not interested in becoming poor. Bernie Sanders won't sell one his vacation homes to donate the money to Pioneer Services of Washington State.

Lucas is so simple. He thinks if girls like these liberal politicians then they should be open to dating welfare leeches like him. Not likely! He is on a Yang Gang kick. Thinks all 18-24 year old women who are Yang Gangsters should be open to dating a struggling blogger/comedian like him. He is really getting agitated about it.

here’s the deal Lucas. Women aren’t hypocrites for being for Bernie sanders but dating people who aren’t in abject poverty. It’s not because women are seeking out wealth. It’s because when you seek a mate who is mentally sound, they tend to have finances together a bit more than a welfare queen.

take your meds and learn about spurious relationships and intervening variables.

 

[Rogowski]

“You ever notice how celebrities don’t want to fuck me? What’s up with that?”

 

[Wernology]

I see he's back to claiming he's a stand up comedian and we just don't get his jokes.

Someone should tell him that if nobody in the audience is laughing and he has to tell people he's telling a joke, he's as skilled at being a stand up comic as he is at dating women 18-24 or making friends.

 

[mothman96]

I see he's back to claiming he's a stand up comedian and we just don't get his jokes.

Someone should tell him that if nobody in the audience is laughing and he has to tell people he's telling a joke, he's as skilled at being a stand up comic as he is at dating women 18-24 or making friends.

He's trying to do "damage control", cover his vile behavior by claiming he's a comedian, just like he's tried with his " the Wern is a character/Lucas Werner is a person".

 

[Rogowski]

Lucas took a kink test on fetlife.