Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[wenttobermuda]

Please find below a copy of a little known "essay" by Lucas Werner: "Ready to Be a Dad." Perhaps you've read it before. I consider it to be a foundational text of Wernology. Not as amusing as him barking on street corners, but fascinating nonetheless.

While it is his customary garbage in his usual style, a few bits of it truly stand out, which I will quote at some length:

...I feel starting a family will ease my tortured loneliness...

... starting a family would ease my heartbroken sense of not having a place in this world...

Note that Lucas does have a place in this world: Eastern State Hospital. Pardon the digression.

I don't want to be lonely anymore. I'm sick of the greif [sic]

I was always a lonely kid, but the past 6 years have been the worst, so I think having children and a wife will bring me further away from isolation from the human experience...

My sense of jealousy drives me.

The essay leaves the impression that, despite Lucas's broken reasoning and schizo fixations, he is on the edge of self awareness. He recognizes and can articulate his alienation, loneliness and profound sense of failure. He can almost see himself.

Of course, he backs away in time before self knowledge can crush him. He will not accept that he is an unfit father, totally unprepared to care for a child and biologically ill suited as a fat lunatic to procreate; rather, he settles on the idea that fatherhood will redeem him.

He is capable of doing something with his life: having a kid! He recognizes on some level that his 40 years have been utterly meaningless and produced nothing of value to anyone but cruel, mocking Wernologists.

Let him use his dick, bitches, and he will have a place in the world, human connection, and purpose.

Spoiler: READY TO BE A DAD

 

[Da Dude123]

Save us, Gen Z! Save us! What a pussy! Not manly at all. Fucking lol cow!

 

[wenttobermuda]

Ah yes, how I've missed the Rage Conversation days

He also put that design on a T-shirt, calling it the million dollar T-shirt. He used to have a video promoting the shirt on his FB page where he started with "To all women, I haven't had sex in 5 years............".

Does this look familiar?

 

[GoutfootHorseface]

Holy jumping shitballs, don’t miss @klickitat next upload, he’s just spent over six minutes singing his new hit song “yeet me down a bae” from a park bench, I particularly liked the line about him not being a trust fund kid but he has $500k coming due to him in the next twenty years so marry him today.

 

[Krathnami]

Please find below a copy of a little known "essay" by Lucas Werner: "Ready to Be a Dad." Perhaps you've read it before. I consider it to be a foundational text of Wernology. Not as amusing as him barking on street corners, but fascinating nonetheless.

While it is his customary garbage in his usual style, a few bits of it truly stand out, which I will quote at some length:





Note that Lucas does have a place in this world: Eastern State Hospital. Pardon the digression.







The essay leaves the impression that, despite Lucas's broken reasoning and schizo fixations, he is on the edge of self awareness. He recognizes and can articulate his alienation, loneliness and profound sense of failure. He can almost see himself.

Of course, he backs away in time before self knowledge can crush him. He will not accept that he is an unfit father, totally unprepared to care for a child and biologically ill suited as a fat lunatic to procreate; rather, he settles on the idea that fatherhood will redeem him.

He is capable of doing something with his life: having a kid! He recognizes on some level that his 40 years have been utterly meaningless and produced nothing of value to anyone but cruel, mocking Wernologists.

Let him use his dick, bitches, and he will have a place in the world, human connection, and purpose.

Spoiler: READY TO BE A DAD

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Thank you for your scholarship

 

[Patchwork Ragdoll]

Hey Lucas, just popped in to remind you you're going to die alone. It's just not in the cards dude.

 

[Wernology]

Rambling about how he'll be rich when his parents kick it, how he'll steal your girlfriend, whining about how he's not like Elliot Roger, how you should be nice to him because he'll be almost a millionaire when his parents die, then he starts rapping,

 

[wenttobermuda]

Lucas Colby Werner is a bitch, in a very specific sense: on the bottom of a male hierarchy...

Spoiler: On Bitches With Small Dicks

...Whatever you may think about the validity of this "male hierarchy," Lucas has bought into it. In his world, there are subordinate, low status males, who do not demonstrate esteemable "male" characteristics.

These males do not receive respect from their fellows, or attention from females. They may be physically unimpressive, socially inept, professionally unsuccessful, and concerned about the size of their penises. They avoid competition because they are ill suited for it, and used to displaying submission.

Some males may invest tremendous energy in demonstrating to the world, and themselves, that they are not a bitch. This may take the form of elaborate overcompensation, or heated denials.

Lucas Werner is a bitch. This is one of his denials.

I like to call this "self consciousness of bitch."



"Does this guy look like a bitch to you? No. No he does not."

Lucas, bitch he is, finds it necessary to answer an unvoiced accusation: Lucas Werner is a bitch. He knows he's a bitch, doesn't like being a bitch, and doesn't like the world knowing he's a bitch and treating him like a bitch.

Volumes can, and eventually will be written about how Lucas Werner's bitch manifests. This includes, but is not limited to: his utter failure in life, including poverty and worthlessness; his envy of other males; his avoidance of confrontation; his insistence that other males provide him with females; his rejection of social relationships with other males; his fear of other males; his fear of cock blocking; his desire to cockblock others and steal men's girl friends; his unwillingness to talk to women when other males are present; his demand that girls he is interested in talk to no other males; his insistence that society be restructured so people stop valuing things that he lacks, like money, ad infinitum.

And finally, his very tiny penis, which he has nowhere to put but in his grubby fist and blown out hobo boxers.

Anyway, @klickitat provides an invaluable service, and we all ought to all take moment out of laughing at Lucas's hot bars to thank him.

Rambling about how he'll be rich when his parents kick it, how he'll steal your girlfriend, whining about how he's not like Elliot Roger, how you should be nice to him because he'll be almost a millionaire when his parents die, then he starts rapping,

 

[mothman96]

Does this look familiar?

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Yes, that's the shirt. In the video he was wearing a baseball cap and had a longer, bushier beard. I keep thinking he said "haven't had sex in 5 yrs", this would place the video in 2017. 2017 he was already in Spokane, but from the way he looks it seems like the video was made prior to 2017.

 

[Da Dude123]

More of his talking about this inheritance he believes he will get. Anyone who brags about getting an inheritance is a major asshole. But in Lucas's case we know his family has decided the inheritance is not in the cards. If they cared about him, they would do something about him being a homeless bum. They're doing nothing about it! He demands the hottest girls! Reee!

 

[teleméres69]

Conformation the old incel actually has dentures? Damn Lucas, you're looking more and more like a boomer every month

Lucas' dentures

I personally loved how out of breath the fat cunt kept getting while trying to sing, and also that he has these long awkward pauses where he can't think of anything to say and just has that dumb ape look on his face as his swiss cheese brain tries to find a new way to sing about how he's involuntarily celibate

Holy jumping shitballs, don’t miss @klickitat next upload, he’s just spent over six minutes singing his new hit song “yeet me down a bae” from a park bench, I particularly liked the line about him not being a trust fund kid but he has $500k coming due to him in the next twenty years so marry him today.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

Lucas only isn't like Elliot Rodger because he can't buy a gun and would be too pussy to senselessly shoot random ugly people like ER did.

 

[Trainwreck]

@klickitat you are doing God's work! All of us that are blocked for no reason appreciate you!

"Let me tell you about the potential of my balls and my DNA".

Lucas only isn't like Elliot Rodger because he can't buy a gun and would be too pussy to senselessly shoot random ugly people like ER did.

Or own a car.

 

[mothman96]

The potential of your balls and DNA Lucas? The "potential" of your balls and DNA is kids just as insane as you. That's your potential Lucas, more insanity.

By the way Lucas, you will never, Nope, never get a miracle. You will live in Misery and Die alone.

So listen carefully , It will never going to be you. No sane woman of any age will touch you, Pedo Creep.

 

[LeeLoo]

@klickitat you are doing God's work! All of us that are blocked for no reason appreciate you!

"Let me tell you about the potential of my balls and my DNA".

Agreed!! Klickitat, you’re better than Gen Z poonaner!!! And what’s with those FB posts where he says “we”? He does that a lot. Who the hell is the “we” he’s referring to? He’s like a less entertaining and more horrifying Sméagol / Gollum.

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

So now he is back to the selling point that his parents are rich. “Hey Gen Z I’m a lazy, homeless schizo living on the streets and sleeping in a shelter, but check this out.... you gotta meet my parents! They made good investments and retired early.”

He certainly is mentioning suicide a lot lately too. Very telling.

 

[mothman96]

The way he goes on about "progesterone" got me thinking, in his demented insane mind he probably thinks having sex with a young teen will cure his insanity, diabetes and everything else wrong with him.

 

[wenttobermuda]

Please find below a transcript of Lucas's recent rap magnum opus, leaked to the Farms by the estimable @klickitat. The lyrics pale next to the live performance; notation cannot capture Lucas's awkward cadence, or sing-song faggot stagger. But I offer them in the service of autism, and the close reading of Lucas's art. For sadistic purposes.

I'm not sure what Lucas calls this masterpiece. I prefer it's best line, "Let me tell you about the potential of my balls and my DNA." I also like "The Love Song of Lucas C. Werner" and "I'm just a Gen X dude."

This is a window into Lucas's soul, and it's like looking directly up his butthole.

Spoiler: ... the potential of my balls...

Gen Z solidarity, hypocrisies and bigotry
Contrary with what most of your generation tends to believe
Oh yeah you're socialist
And a guy rolls up with a car and you're down with this
A credit card
And the Bernie Sanders goes out the window cause you like being a prostitute but you don't like breaking the law
So you hook up with the sugar daddy and the guy with the car cause he's a football star
But that's only half of your generation most of you are against the degradation, the trash of the world, the world sucks
Yeet me down a bae!
Do this today!
I'm not smoking heroin or meth, ok
But we can 420!
Marry me today!
I got potentially $500,000 in the bank even though I'm homeless my parents are rich I don't borrow any money from this I'm not a trust-fund kid
Travel agents made a lot of money in the 1990s
They got $1,000,000 in the bank as they kick it down in Arizona
Hey, and my dad and step mom, wise investments with Microsoft
yes, I agree the socialism rocks
Yes, I agree the corporations suck
But I'm here maybe one day I'll open an atheist homeless shelter in 300 years with my progeny then develop a building that can withstand an atomic bomb...
But if your socialism, your desire to save the world, your fertility, your beauty, your talent, you're funny
But the agephobia fucking sucks
But you don't fucking care because you want to suck big black dick but at least you're not racist
But you're sexist because you need that thing
Everytime I see you you're with another guy
My thing, let's get married today!
I'll put your ring...
16 kids like Genghis motherfucking...
It's the bigotry, the hypocrisy of your generation that sucks and I agree with you that socialism was needed
Cause this sucks!
No, we lost a Bernie Sanders, Biden might offer a UBI but we got to get rid of the racist guy in the White House
But the agephobia, the agephobia
When I offer money it's going away
Dude that sucks
But the things that I want to do with the world
I want to save the world with you
I want to have 16, 17 kids with you, whatever you want to do
Let's dance, let's sing, let's do this thing!
Earn this fucking ring!
Even though the girlie in mind exploits the people and the earth
Digging through the dirt
Worker exploitation and you want a motherfucking ring you need to take a fucking vacation and get your head in check
You're a capitalist chick and you don't need his motherfucking dick
May your football team lose today because your greed makes the love go away
Capitalism stands in the way
Let's talk about the bigotry against my age
Generation X needs sex!
The fertile bitches walk around like this...
But you're mad at me for expressing misogyny
We'll, I apologise I'll never do it again
But are you floating naked in my bed?
No!
So what potential do I have to get you to turn around and smile, and maybe open a little racist thing...
Why you looking at me while I sing?
I don't understand why we need the bigotry
I don't understand why we need these words anyway, we should be rolling in the sheets
We should be fucking with the NEETs
We should be fucking with the oogles and the simps
But oh, you present the credit card
And the incel goes away
See, that's the motherfucking thing, I'm a volcel motherfucker

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE POTENTIAL OF MY BALLS AND MY DNA

Telomerase, I don't need to... duh duh...to say too much
But the percentage that my children will have the good luck is better, better, better, better
And the young women have the fertile eggs
Please don't be stupid today
I need the fallopian tubes and the wombs
Your companionship
I'm just a Gen X dude that knows a little about the science
I'm not really here to listen to your arrogance
You simp little...
Shut up and this...dance is all I need
Let's get married today, Gen Z!
I will one day give you the ring but I hope that we don't have to dig through the mines because worker exploitation is a pet peeves of mine
But if you want to be my girl, hit me up!
You rock my world
But if you don't, then I don't care I'll just watch your little bigot stair
Hair
I don't motherfucking care
Bigots deserve to die
Guillotines and nooses, aye
Don't really care, millennials it's your problem...duh dum duh
But the agephobia from Generation Z
But you don't ever sympathize with me
No empathy
Get therapy
But when you're really mine
A simple hi!
And a phone number!
SAVE ME FROM A SUICIDE of capitalism standing in the way

 

[Brian Butterfield]

You know you're a fuckin' loser if the line "when I go home" is itself a lie because you're a fat homeless schizo.

 

[Poop Shoot]

Homeless Lucas is the gift that keeps on giving. I hope he sits in this purgatory forever, because the content has been top notch.