Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[mothman96]

Walter's women fans are going to be crushed, just crushed, Lucas will never date them EVER.

 

[Amewsed]

What is the "democrats in name only" tic he's been repeating? Does it mean that he thinks these people aren't really liberal or something?

Essentially. He views true democrats as people who will never question his beyond ignorant beliefs

What's not to get, Freak. You want your father's house, his property, and of course his "alleged" millions. You think getting yourself a wife is the ticket to getting back into your father's house. "Honeymoon" in your dad's spare room. Once in his house it'll be getting down to impregnating her. Yea sure, it's about King Roy deserving grandchildren. Children are your ticket to stay in your dad's house. He's not going to kick out his insane violent son if there is a baby/children in the picture. Now you figure your dad's wife/your stepmom is of no consequence since your child/children will give you the upper hand. If she leaves your dad because of the turmoil you cause, better for you. If she is still with him when your dad dies, you think because of your children, the house, part of his 12 acres (if not all), money will be left to you. He's not going to leave his grandchildren homeless - right.
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Seems like he's a "Democrat in name only" (Dino) with all of this vicarious posturing about the life he's offering to 10/10 bae on his parents dime.

How republican of him. That makes him a rino with a flaccid mrsa infected micro horn.

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

This Isaac, is he the one Lucas has talked about that gets to bang different women every week? Of course to rutting animal brained Lucas, a guy just talking to/hanging out with a girl(s) means the guy is having sex with them. Lucas's sole interest in Isaac as a "bud" is for Isaac to yeet him a bae.

ETA:
Trucks really bother the freak.

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Holy shit, this one took me a good three reads before I could even decipher what it was he was trying to say. And I am an armchair Wernologist. I mean this is as close to psychobabble as I’ve seen from Wern in awhile.

If you had no familiarity with Lucas and just ran across this picture it would come off as a pure word salad.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

"Even after Bernie Sanders" - Has said this multiple times now.

I know he essentially lives under a rock and doesn't take the time to fully comprehend anything he talks about, but does he realize that Sanders wasn't elected...twice? He didn't happen. There is no "after" Sanders. It's hilarious how he calls everyone a bigot and then immediately polarizes people into categories based on their age group or what they're wearing or driving. Wearing a hat? That's so fuckin Republican. Working? Pfff Republican. "You're gen z but you're leftist in name only". Wow Lucas, assuming that a gen Z is leftist sounds...I don't know. Kind of bigoted.

 

[Particle Bored]

To the tune of Diary of a Madman, by Ozzy Osbourne

Screaming
At my cellphone
Watch me cry
For zoomer baes

Age gap
Infatuation
They need my
Telomerase

Strong DNA for our offspring
Makes them moist

Diary
Of a fat man
Two pizzas
I ate today

Arteries
Clogged with gouda
Dear zoomers
Why you hate?

Faygits and bigots surround me
Shut your face!
Flatbills and greybeards confound me
Hoarding baes!

I'm thick in mind and waistband
The zoomers tell me lies
They all claim they're leftists
But won't date homeless guys

Will they accept their role
And fuck me willingly
Or will they catfish to get clout
And make me use roofies?

Orgies
In apartments
Spreading
COVID disease

Don't doubt my
Base intention
Invite me
Oh pretty please

Using cars to get pussy enrages
Fuck your greed!
Stop fucking guys your own ages
Take my seed!

 

[Free the Pedos]

If I may point out a relatively minor lie in the Wern’s catalogue of insanity, elk rarely move in herds of 30. I have a feeling “herd of 30 elk on my ancestral lands” = “someone saw one once.”

 

[Coach McGuirk]

"Even after Bernie Sanders" - Has said this multiple times now.

I know he essentially lives under a rock and doesn't take the time to fully comprehend anything he talks about, but does he realize that Sanders wasn't elected...twice? He didn't happen. There is no "after" Sanders. It's hilarious how he calls everyone a bigot and then immediately polarizes people into categories based on their age group or what they're wearing or driving. Wearing a hat? That's so fuckin Republican. Working? Pfff Republican. "You're gen z but you're leftist in name only". Wow Lucas, assuming that a gen Z is leftist sounds...I don't know. Kind of bigoted.

He shits on women for going after men with cars and jobs, while also constantly dangling promises of land and cattle like its the 1400s. I don't think Lucas has enough brain function left to realize what bigot actually means.

 

[Patchwork Ragdoll]

His new mating call is, "pull up!"



What does that even mean?

 

[A Big Bumbling Black Man]

His new mating call is, "pull up!"

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What does that even mean?

Maybe he's begging for a diaper change?

 

[Da Dude123]

He sounds so smug and obnoxious the way he says it ,rolling the word. He just keeps getting more abrasive and awful. He probably thinks he sounds cool saying that, he will go on and on about how he hates slang then starts mooing it out himself. He thinks the baes will like it. Well, he thinks wrong. They're gonna hate it and they're gonna hate him!

His new mating call is, "pull up!"

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What does that even mean?

 

[Wernology]

I love how thoroughly annoyed his "friend" sounds every time he talks, like Lucas is the weird kid on the playground that latched onto him and he can't figure out how to get him to go the fuck away.

 

[Yellow Sink Disease]

Oh boy I've always pictured my honeymoon would be to a spare room at my in-laws house.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

He sounds so smug and obnoxious the way he says it ,rolling the word. He just keeps getting more abrasive and awful. He probably thinks he sounds cool saying that, he will go on and on about how he hates slang then starts mooing it out himself. He thinks the baes will like it. Well, he thinks wrong. They're gonna hate it and they're gonna hate him!

Complete agreement. Once again the way he says this with the rolling r, just like how he said Puerto Rico in that other video, would make a baseball bat magically materialize in my hands. And the baseball bat would have a gravitational pull towards Lucas's face. Would be completely unavoidable.

 

[pr3nt177]

What's not to get, Freak. You want your father's house, his property, and of course his "alleged" millions. You think getting yourself a wife is the ticket to getting back into your father's house. "Honeymoon" in your dad's spare room. Once in his house it'll be getting down to impregnating her. Yea sure, it's about King Roy deserving grandchildren. Children are your ticket to stay in your dad's house. He's not going to kick out his insane violent son if there is a baby/children in the picture. Now you figure your dad's wife/your stepmom is of no consequence since your child/children will give you the upper hand. If she leaves your dad because of the turmoil you cause, better for you. If she is still with him when your dad dies, you think because of your children, the house, part of his 12 acres (if not all), money will be left to you. He's not going to leave his grandchildren homeless - right.
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" and a spare room" If that doesn't have them queueing up then nothing will.

 

[Trainwreck]

He's down in People's Park with the hard core druggies.

 

[Da Dude123]

Must not have checked in to HOC. Would love to know more....

He's down in People's Park with the hard core druggies.

 

[Picklechu]

College Lucas was funny as fuck, so I fully support his attempt to try community college yet again at 40. If it's just a continuing education course that he wants to take, they definitely won't give him a student job (not that anyone would hire the Pedo King of Spokane anyway).

Zoomer baes get wet knowing their future father-in-law have loads of cattle. I suppose the Sarah Palin types might, who Lucas would love to anally torture.

I mean, Sarah Palin is single now, and has been reduced to selling MLM shit on social media and singing "Baby Got Back" on national television, so maybe she would take him up on that prime rib offer.

Yup, in the other video, his "buddy" Isaac brushed him off. The freak posted this picture, shaking/holding? Isaac's hand. Check out the look on Isaac's face. Not the look of someone that wants Lucas's company. And Lucas with his scrunched up face, like "take that haters". The other homeless just "tolerate" having Lucas around.

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"Yeah Lucas, I know some zoomer baes. Gimme some cash/weed/food." He's almost certainly getting played by another ragman.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

I'll take Undiagnosed Psychopath for 500, Alex.

 

[wenttobermuda]

Poor Isaac. He knows Lucas's scent, and Lucas expects him to deliver a fertile and nubile teen sex slave/mommy in return for weed. That's a lot of pressure, but I hope he's success in smoking all of Lucas's herb.

Lucas described him as "handsome." Now we've seen him. I'm not surprised, Lucas has also described himself as handsome. Perhaps he is legitimately a face blind autist.

Their interaction illustrates one of Lucas's chief use of weed: he smokes it to exacerbate his mental health symptoms, but also so people have some reason to talk to him.

He wants to share his weed, and will, as a way to have a temporary illusion of camraderie. He'll let people use him. Otherwise they'd ignore him.

Alas, passing joints around is less likely to get "smart pretty interesting girls" to talk to you, than shitty, hobo scavengers.

 

[TurdFondler]

Extendo Telomerase sounds like the name of the shittiest spell.

Meme Lucas is my favorite and I hope he never stops.