- Joined
- Jul 21, 2015
Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks
- Thread starter SpacePanther
- Start date
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2020
Lucas does a great job embodying the exact kind of person who the police are needed for. He's an unhinged sex pest with a criminal record of violence towards women and stalking, who only avoids attacking women because he knows the police would lock his fat ass away, without them he's free to prey on kids for his high school breeding fetish
He's still insisting on how he's eating healthy and exercising when he weighs 297 pounds, frequently posting eating junk food, never mind the early homeless saga horrors with the entire block of cheese he ate, and is out of breath walking. Lucas will only ever eat salads or vegetables when they're free from the shelters, or included in his heavy calorie meals he eats almost daily
He's still insisting on how he's eating healthy and exercising when he weighs 297 pounds, frequently posting eating junk food, never mind the early homeless saga horrors with the entire block of cheese he ate, and is out of breath walking. Lucas will only ever eat salads or vegetables when they're free from the shelters, or included in his heavy calorie meals he eats almost daily
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2013
"You're not going to tell me to take my medication! You're going to go get me a girl friend so I calm down! I'M TIRED OF THIS BIGOTRY! THERE IS NO LOVE." Lucas Werner, Episode 5, Golden USB Show.
I wonder where he is during the podcast. He's going psycho yelling.
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2013
he's at the mall.
in public.
and he's been sperging out there for the past hour.
very loudly.
ETA: The following is true.
Lucas has been talking to himself, in the mall, for going on an hour. He has been screaming at the top of his lungs for a little while. Before the show began, he was having a sperg out.
- Joined
- May 27, 2020
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2019
Lucas weighs 295 lbs on his Spokane Municipal Court page. He's lost 2 lbs for you zoomer baes, so shut up and fuck him.
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2015
Spot on, but especially regarding the food: totally right.
Also, if Lucas ever eats anything approaching a salad, it's always laden with salted or Smoked Meats, an excessive amount of cheese, and positively drowned in a high-fat dressing, like Ranch, French, or Thousand Island.
Actually, the amount of cheese and sauces Lucas uses, which has been commented on before in this thread, is pretty obscene.
He clearly doesn't enjoy the taste of vegetables by themselves, because he absolutely, as I said before, DROWNS them in dressing.
Speaking of Lucas's gluttony, his recent anger towards Walter Fate is hilarious to me: he describes Walter using pork products, and in his voice you can almost hear the drool!
Calling Walter bacon and sausages is literally making Lucas hungry! Hilarious.
Also: Lucas has literally constructed an alternate-world biography for Walter.
He's decided that Walter won't date ethnic women.
He's decided that Walter is a Biden Democrat.
He's decided that Walter is not a true liberal.
He's decided that Walter is a highly subservient, "boot-licking", rule-following soldier, purely based on Walter's one mention of his previous military service.
I find this really humorous, because Lucas has to make every person that he talks about fit into his pre-established categories of good and bad, and absent the evidence, Lucas will construct the evidence...and (say it with me) repeat it until he believes it.
Walter has never discussed any of these things with Lucas, or in his vids about The Wern...and Lucas even knows the year he was born!
- Joined
- May 27, 2020
lol he is so mad about Walter
He is blaming Jason Purva for the pedophile fb post, and he is convinced of it.
He is blaming Jason Purva for the pedophile fb post, and he is convinced of it.
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Fatal Walter
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2019
I'm really glad Goldaor called him out about that post where he called himself a pedophile. He is so mad. He seems to be blaming Jason Perva.
Edit: beaten lol
Edit: beaten lol
- Joined
- May 27, 2020
high-five Walter lol, you really got under his greasy, greasy skin
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2013
For those of you watching the Golden USB show today, you may've noticed that Lucas is more agitated than usual.
My sources (homosexual bothan spies) reveal the following:
When the show began, Lucas was in public, at a mall in Spokane. During the run up to the show, Lucas was heard loudly talking to himself. In brief: he was wandering the mall and muttering for at least half an hour, from around 12:20 to 12:50.
The show encountered some technical difficulties and ran late, which also meant no special guest. This distressed Lucas, and he roared a soliloquy about how the universe is unfair to him and he needs love. There, in the mall, he had a screaming fit. He carried over that aggression and energy in to the show itself.
My sources (homosexual bothan spies) reveal the following:
When the show began, Lucas was in public, at a mall in Spokane. During the run up to the show, Lucas was heard loudly talking to himself. In brief: he was wandering the mall and muttering for at least half an hour, from around 12:20 to 12:50.
The show encountered some technical difficulties and ran late, which also meant no special guest. This distressed Lucas, and he roared a soliloquy about how the universe is unfair to him and he needs love. There, in the mall, he had a screaming fit. He carried over that aggression and energy in to the show itself.
INeedUhChickUnder26
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 30, 2020
https://www.instagram.com/p/CEmofSeB4L1/
Things Walter Fate has no respect for:
His elders
Evidence
Wasn't his last commitment because of public sperging? Maybe I'm misremembering.
Maybe Goldork has been playing the long con and this is all part of his plan. Get Lucas out in public and then rile him up on the podcast so it attracts a bunch of attention to him.
Yeah...not likely but the possibility of it happening anyways is nice to think about.
Edit - Clearly I'm not much smarter than Luke because I can't figure out how to post an IG link in a non boomer manner. Hopefully someone explain this to me in terms Lucas Werner would understand.
Things Walter Fate has no respect for:
His elders
Evidence
Wasn't his last commitment because of public sperging? Maybe I'm misremembering.
Maybe Goldork has been playing the long con and this is all part of his plan. Get Lucas out in public and then rile him up on the podcast so it attracts a bunch of attention to him.
Yeah...not likely but the possibility of it happening anyways is nice to think about.
Edit - Clearly I'm not much smarter than Luke because I can't figure out how to post an IG link in a non boomer manner. Hopefully someone explain this to me in terms Lucas Werner would understand.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Yes, which oddly enough he admitted to several times
INeedUhChickUnder26 said:
On that note i'm starting to wonder if the whole point of this podcast is some kind of scheme to subtly push lucas into blowing a gasket publicly to get him committed again
That said lucas accused isaac of hording the women and claims the guy told him he won't introduce them to lucas because he will 'steal all his fun girls'
Also seems that lucas got cut off suddenly
edit: oh boy goldy introduced his gf to lucas and he's getting excited as fuck cause shes a zoomer. I'd bet money on this being the highlight of his
Also she's trolling the fuck out of him - 'montreal is very diverse! theres tons of interracial relationships there!' Uh....montreal is a very white city and interracial stuff tends not to go overall that well with the french. Same as how they aren't exactly fond of the arabs
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INeedUhChickUnder26
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 30, 2020
Which is what he does with everything. Again today he's confusing the ACAB slogan with an organized group. He comes across headlines and vague references, makes a mental note of his 500,000 foot understanding of whatever it is, and then creates the meaning/history in his head.
Listening to Lucas tell that story was hilarious. If I wanted to slam the door on the possibility of something happening and mock someone at the same time, that's what I'd say. Of course he doesn't pick up on that.
But the misguided pride beaming from his face when he repeated what his fellow homeless 'friend' had said was really satisfying.
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2019
I am so sad I missed this live.
- Joined
- May 27, 2020
hahaha he said his weight was "two-twentysomething"
Trainwreck
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2017
Hahahaha, Goldie's girlfriend just asked him how much he weighed right now....he replies, like "220ish".
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Speaking of things he doesn't pick up on goldys gf flat out said 'how does it feel to be popular?' in what was a blatantly obviously patronizing tone and he answered it like shes was being totally serious. He was utterly oblivious to the fact she was belittling him
and this whole 'I was in honors english! I got an A+ in multiple courses including english!' is laughably stupid....but fucking lol at the 'I needed a gym credit to graduate highschool'
He isn't voting cause biden and trump 'are both pedos'
obama was the inspiration for him to lose weight (401 pounds is his stated heaviest) he claims to weigh '220-something'
and he doesn't have autism cause 'autistics aren't social! they're like rainman!' and he isn't an aspie cause he laughs and has a sense of humor
....wtf is he talking about with some video done in parts where he mixed toothpaste and ketchup 'that looked like klingon blood' and spit it all over his mirror. I don't remember hearing anything about that. plus it seems he's seen star trek 6 if hes talking about pink klingon blood
He is also retconning why he got committed the last time
....and he is claiming ADHD is made up and some guy in that made it up claimed it was fake on his deathbed and that taking the meds make it worse.....goldys gf says she has ADHD herself and lucas denies it and says she should smoke weed
'My grade went from a C to a B to an A when I smoked weed at college'
...and hes ranting about 'big pharma' conspiracy wern saga has begun....and he's claiming 'there wouldn't be all these hollywood stars saying bad stuff about big pharma unless there was something to it' which is hilarious cause the ones that say that shit are all scientologists....totally atheist wern everybody
Admits his 2 front teeth are fake, claims from an accident
and fucking lol at the gf trolling lucas claiming kissing on a womans head means protection and its something all the zoomers want
...and he literally said there should be tax breaks for fucking guys 35+ I would love to see someone explain that one to the IRS
and he claims he has been therapy for 20 years and its done nothing. 'have you learned anything from it?' 'no' and then claims therapy is like religion. 'do a couple hail marys and take your meds and it will help'
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By the time the interview ends, Lucas is going to believe Goldoar's girlfriend secretly lusts after/wants him.
ETA: He already called her "sweetheart".
ETA: He already called her "sweetheart".