Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

Why do women like men who call them bitches? Why don't you ask yourself from six months ago, hilariously posted to my comments section. Well, it got filtered obviously but I don't think I can control that.
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Okay first pic, what the everliving fuck is he talking about???

My best guess:

I think the "inside/out" and "outside/in" is a reference to genitalia. Women are "handpuppets" because you can put you hand into the vaginal canal and I think he meant to say men are "tea pots" instead of "tea cups" because the penis acts like a spout and liquid comes out of it. This horrifying simile is supposed to be some kind of wickedly clever inversion of the male gaze where "the man" gets his body objectified.
 
My best guess:

I think the "inside/out" and "outside/in" is a reference to genitalia. Women are "handpuppets" because you can put you hand into the vaginal canal and I think he meant to say men are "tea pots" instead of "tea cups" because the penis acts like a spout and liquid comes out of it. This horrifying simile is supposed to be some kind of wickedly clever inversion of the male gaze where "the man" gets his body objectified.
This is an especially funny interpretation because it implies that he'd put a teacup or teapot inside of a puppet, which is a notion that has occurred to literally nobody in the whole world but him.

Honestly though, trying to understand Lucas and his word salad will only cause brain damage.
 
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It's almost as if a really fit, beautiful woman might want a similarity good-looking, healthy partner.

But only Lucas is allowed to seek a beautiful partner... he's made it clear that he won't accept a fat or ugly woman. But if women are looking for handsome men, they're hypocritical bitches, leftists in name only, fascist, and fat-shaming.

Who's the real misogynist here?

And Lucas? If you're seeking the top 1% of eligible women, do you think it might assist your search to post pics of yourself looking a bit less brain-damaged? Why do women have to accept you at your worst, with zero effort, when you desire high-effort women at their best?
 
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Lucas has been busy on his YouTube community page, posting an exhausting series of "memes." Who Lucas is addressing with his memes remains one of the trivial mysteries of Wernology. It can be difficult, at times, to picture the audience he attempts to reach. Sometimes he directly addresses Generation Z ovulators, as if they are the ones watching his videos; other times he seems to believe he's reaching a cadre of wealthy, Christian flatbill socialists. In many instsances, however, Lucas appears to be talking to himself. This should not surprise seasoned Wernologists, who are no doubt familiar with Lucas's observed history of talking to himself in public.

Anyway, Lucas's recent manic post outburst suggests both a coach giving a pep talk, and a schizo PUA muttering. A sample:
LUCAS WERNER, FAT FAGGOT: Human beings are just another mammal. Usually, in mammal courtship rituals, the male does approach the female. They don’t go right to the sex part though (“Can I get your number, honey?”). You have to be patient. You have to make conversation about small topics. You have to purr a little before you roar. Also, it’s like a game. If there’s a possible way to tie because time runs out (eventually everyone dies), strive for the tie and go into it to have fun and you’re more likely to win by putting out less stressful vibes. Start with “hello” and eye contact. "I just wanted to say you dressed nice today."
Who is Lucas offering this advice to? Who looks to Lucas Colby Werner for dating advice? And to the extent that this is directed to himself, advice for himself, what value is there in posting an internal peptalk reminding you to do things human intuivively do, for everyone to see?

I enjoyed this "meme," though, because he explicitly calls "mammal courtship rituals" a game. Wernologists have long studied how Lucas plays "the courtship game," and I've littered this thread with tedious essays on the subject. Here's one example.

Seeing Lucas expicitly discuss "mammal courtship" as a game is enlightening, and confirmation that he's operating at the level of rutting animal. Not that it wasn't obvious. But I'm surprised by the direction he took the gaming/sports analogy in: "ties" in the courtship game are something new.

Lucas seems to be imagining a scenario where, late in a game, one team is trying to catch up to the other and tie to force an overtime. Either that, or playing for the tie as opposed to victory. His point of reference is more likely board games than sports, because Lucas doesn't know much about sports other than they are played by threatening males. Anyway, a tie usually means a chance to keep competing. Either in this game, or at a later date. Nothing is resolved. Perhaps there can be a morale victory in a tie, if one side was a heavy underdog.

I find it remarkable that Lucas favors the tie over the victory, perhaps recognizing that victory is out of his reach, or just being so unfamiliar with it he can't imagine it. He's not playing to win, but reminding himself to play for the tie. Boys who struggle at competition are often told to focus on how they play the game, not the results. Lucas has no doubt heard this, and is echoing the advice: he tells himself not to focus so much on winning, just have fun.

But that means playing for the tie. Lucas declares that a tie is possible in the courtship game because "eventually everyone dies." If one man dies a virgin, and the other with 144 children no skin on his dick from all the fornication, it is a tie? Competition over, draw declared? It is not clear to this Wernologist what a "tie" means, or how that connects to mortality, but we may assume victory in the courtship game means access to puss puss. And defeat, that's what Lucas experiences daily. Isolation, Scorn. No puss puss.

Anyway, Lucas appears to be telling himself that he if he doesn't play the courtship game to win, but rather "plays for the tie," he will be less offputting to others, and likely to have more success in the courtship game. His problem, as he's diagnosed it, is that he tries too hard. I'd credit Lucas with a bit of self-awareness, if this wasn't the kind of thing he's told all the time, and if he wasn't still trying so hard to achieve a loathsome goal: smash teen girl puss puss.

Two other lines merit comment. "Start with hello and eyecontact" and "You have to purr a little before you roar." As to the former, Lucas reminds himself of a good way to start a conversation with a strange ovulator: look them in the eye and say hello. It is recorded in the annals of Werner that Lucas is seldom, if ever, able to make it to this step. His confidence in it's efficacy demonstrates how rarely he follows through on harassing girls. Much of his time must be devoted to failing to muster the nerve to accost an ovulator, look her in the eye, and break the ice with a highly practiced line.

"You have to purr a little before you roar" is, of course, nonsense. It would be unfair to expect anything else from Lucas. From context, we can tell that "purring" and "roaring" are placed within the courtship game. Lucas is talking about the proper way to communicate with baes apparently. Lucas divides this into two discrete categories: purring and roaring. Cats purr for a variety of reasons. It can convey satisfaction, or be a symptom of stress. When usesd to describe humans, "purring" has shades of solicitation and seduction. Roars are used to communicate a variety of messages, all aggressive, from warnings to dominance displays.

Lucas is, perhaps, reminding himself to be seductive before aggressive, because this how to play the courtship game. "Roaring" is presented as the authentic Lucas, that must be held back until he has purred the right amount.

I think purring/roaring is a useful way to describe Lucas's behavior. Thank you Lucas. He switches back and forth between feeble efforts to seduce, and furiously lashing out when that fails. Consider the recent IM leaks, which swiftly go from "Hello, I'm Lucas, you seem really interesting...(purr purr)" to "FUCK YOU DIE BITCH (roar roar").
 
My best guess:

Women are "handpuppets" because you can put you hand into the vaginal canal and I think he meant to say men are "tea pots" instead of "tea cups" because the penis acts like a spout and liquid comes out of it.
In that case.....

Werns a little teapot,
Short and stout,
He opens his mouth,
and bullshit comes out

Agoraphobic Bullshit said:
This is an especially funny interpretation because it implies that he'd put a teacup or teapot inside of a puppet, which is a notion that has occurred to literally nobody in the whole world but him.
The cynic in me wonders if lucas came to this line of thinking as a result of him making some kind of horrifying homemade sex doll with a puppet and teapot

wenttobermuda said:
Lucas has been busy on his YouTube community page, posting an exhausting series of "memes." Who Lucas is addressing with his memes remains one of the trivial mysteries of Wernology. It can be difficult, at times, to picture the audience he attempts to reach. Sometimes he directly addresses Generation Z ovulators, as if they are the ones watching his videos; other times he seems to believe he's reaching a cadre of wealthy, Christian flatbill socialists. In many instsances, however, Lucas appears to be talking to himself. This should not surprise seasoned Wernologists, who are no doubt familiar with Lucas's observed history of talking to himself in public.
On this note, sometimes I wonder if he makes these kinds of posts to attempt to reinforce and convince himself that his insane beliefs and rants are true as much as he does it to try to convince others. It would explain why he tends to go on posting and video sprees about certain topics that come off as hitting a nerve when he sees them posted here or in a comment
 
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It's almost as if a really fit, beautiful woman might want a similarity good-looking, healthy partner.

But only Lucas is allowed to seek a beautiful partner... he's made it clear that he won't accept a fat or ugly woman. But if women are looking for handsome men, they're hypocritical bitches, leftists in name only, fascist, and fat-shaming.

Who's the real misogynist here?

And Lucas? If you're seeking the top 1% of eligible women, do you think it might assist your search to post pics of yourself looking a bit less brain-damaged? Why do women have to accept you at your worst, with zero effort, when you desire high-effort women at their best?
The other thing is that plenty of couples have an age gap, looks gap, or wage gap. Personality and compatibility can make up for these things.

It's almost as if it's Lucas who is the problem.
 
Can you report someone to the police for raping a Thesaurus?

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Edit: I have tried to read this six times now and it's just word salad.
for sure, it's no "has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?" or "man door hand hook car door"
 
@wenttobermuda ? Essays, yes. Tedious? Never.

I dig all your analysis and find it incredibly edifying to read, and I'm not the only one.

Brilliant thoughts on "playing for a tie" and what it might mean to Lucas's idea of courtship.

Posts like this are why you will always be a Senior Wernologist.
Speaking of playing for a tie, this is the scene lucas is referring to:

Its kind of funny considering that alien looks alot like lucas and acts like how i'd expect lucas to act playing one of his own game when he realizes he's being beaten at it by the other nursing home speds. You can just see lucas making the same expressions
 
hey @Twrx

Is Werner also like ADF in that he thinks communism means "everything is free and no one has to work"?


It really is like he's always delirious.

Yes. I think that's why so many people want a communist government, completely ignoring the fact that they'd be put agasint the wall.
View attachment 2841720
It's almost as if a really fit, beautiful woman might want a similarity good-looking, healthy partner.

But only Lucas is allowed to seek a beautiful partner... he's made it clear that he won't accept a fat or ugly woman. But if women are looking for handsome men, they're hypocritical bitches, leftists in name only, fascist, and fat-shaming.

Who's the real misogynist here?

And Lucas? If you're seeking the top 1% of eligible women, do you think it might assist your search to post pics of yourself looking a bit less brain-damaged? Why do women have to accept you at your worst, with zero effort, when you desire high-effort women at their best?

I've always wondered why he hasn't posted anything associated with the fat acceptance/haes movement. He's used their bullshit a few times. Like everyone in that movement, none of them will date a fat guy, they have to be super in shape, and he has responded to questions about why he won't date a fat woman, with "no that's unhealthy"
 
So I know that this is old news, but I’m more convinced than ever that Lucas has been either schizophrenic or experiencing the “schizoid” aspect of his BPD for a LONG time now. I’ve always believed that based on the things he says about the “background noise”, “voices on the wind”, women “hearing someone say something in the background and thinking they thought it”, etc. but I always did factor in the very small possibility that Lucas really was just listening to random chatter of people around him and taking it to heart.

However, I’ve been watching the videos of this guy on TikTok (@xoradmagical) who is a 20 or 30 something year old man living with schizophrenia. He makes schizophrenia simulators to show what he experiences every day, and they seem to be exactly what Lucas experiences. Little quiet voices coming from all directions, some that say totally incoherent things, some that say nice things, and some that say evil or cruel things.

It has really convinced me that there is absolutely no other possibility for Lucas than that he has auditory hallucinations. Like I said I was already pretty sure of this, but these simulators really solidified it for me.
 
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