Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[WonderWino]

Jesus christ Lucas this is just embarrassing

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Makes him look like a troon. What could possibly have been going through his head to make him think posting that horrifying picture was a good idea

 

[Tsukasa Kadoya]

Makes him look like a troon. What could possibly have been going through his head to make him think posting that horrifying picture was a good idea

His grasp on reality is slipping.
I mean the fat fuck thought plums and cereal on ramen was a good idea, he is not running on all cylinders.

 

[Da Dude123]

People have mentioned how bad it was that Lucas added salt to prepackaged ramen noodles. And it is horrible, for sure. But go back to when the cow was in the hospital with his kidney issues. He had low sodium. So in his cow brain this mean he wasn't eating enough salt. We all know that is far from the truth. His sodium was low due to his kidneys being shot. His awful diet caused this, of course.

Oh, he wants sex and companionship? Well, that's too bad. It's not in the cards for him.

 

[Twrx]

People have mentioned how bad it was that Lucas added salt to prepackaged ramen noodles. And it is horrible, for sure. But go back to when the cow was in the hospital with his kidney issues. He had low sodium. So in his cow brain this mean he wasn't eating enough salt. We all know that is far from the truth. His sodium was low due to his kidneys being shot. His awful diet caused this, of course.

Oh, he wants sex and companionship? Well, that's too bad. It's not in the cards for him. View attachment 3736453View attachment 3736454

Cervine is reaching way back to some early wern content.

 

[AnOminous]

You left out the fact that lucas doesn't understand that anything involving raw fish for dishes like that requires a certain grade of raw fish to be even remotely safe. He'll dump a bunch of shit tier frozen raw fish into a bowl and make himself sick as fuck

He needs to throw in some shellfish too.

 

[Poop Shoot]

Christ it took an embarassing amount of time to get my account squared away. Apparently I was one of like 14 people with a lolcow email.

Anyway, absolutely love coming back to Lucas’s culinary adventures. His toasterbortions were some of my favorite posts. Glad to see he’s posting more.

 

[Tsukasa Kadoya]

He needs to throw in some shellfish too.

The fact I can envision him making some unspeakable dish with Scallops is enough for me, thanks.

 

[Jeep1971]

He is definitely on an upswing with crazy content.

 

[Stinkyboy]

I guarantee he can’t get it up with all his health complications and medication.
He could have his fecund pubescent and wouldn’t be able to do anything

 

[WonderWino]

The fact I can envision him making some unspeakable dish with Scallops is enough for me, thanks.

I can see it now.... raw scallops basted in a sauce consisting of buttermilk, sprite, orange juice, grape jelly and crushed ball park hotdog flavored potato chips

a true wern classic

 

[wenttobermuda]

We could shorten it to 'Cramen' because he crammed a bunch of unrelated shit into a bowl and ate it.

Cramen? Lovely.

I think the most important thing we’re all forgetting, here, is that Lucas has declared he’s going to try making a poke bowl next week.

Combine the terribleness of this bowl of random shit with his famously consistent food contamination, and he might just fucking die.

If Lucas does indeed follow through on his poke bowl, I hope he's feeling adventurous and bold. Is it too much to ask that he adds chopped up fish and candy to a bowl of rice?

 

[WonderWino]

Cramen? Lovely.

If Lucas does indeed follow through on his poke bowl, I hope he's feeling adventurous and bold. Is it too much to ask that he adds chopped up fish and candy to a bowl of rice?

If he follows through with it we all know where he'll get the seafood for it

Pretty accurate inevitable outcome as well

I found another wern tier cook:

Disgusting cheese sauce over frozen tater tots on top of disgustingly spiced meat with a side of brisket boiled in liquid wagyu beef fat for a week

I have to question the sanity of anyone who would make that let alone eat it. and I thought cheesy cukes was revolting

Fucking hell that entire channel is wern tier cooking

 

[Spunt]

Jesus christ Lucas this is just embarrassing

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This looks like the bastard child of Lars Ulrich and Yngwie Malmsteen.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

Can't imagine why.

 

[Draxx them Sklounst]

"the rest of my life"

so like, a few months?

 

[VoidFace]

Jesus christ Lucas this is just embarrassing

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So he’s admitting he’s a fucking loser? Maybe a case of accidental lucidity.

I’m so glad all the different kinds of mooing seem to be starting in earnest. He’s definitely either off his meds or starting to break through in spite of them. I personally can’t wait to see more.

 

[wenttobermuda]

So he’s admitting he’s a fucking loser? Maybe a case of accidental lucidity.

I’m so glad all the different kinds of mooing seem to be starting in earnest. He’s definitely either off his meds or starting to break through in spite of them. I personally can’t wait to see more.

I've been waiting for this day longer than I care to admit. Lucas is posting about food, sex and rejection, and sporting a spectacular profile pic.

He's started down a road whose destination we are all familiar with.

 

[VoidFace]

I’m

I've been waiting for this day longer than I care to admit. Lucas is posting about food, sex and rejection, and sporting a spectacular profile pic.

He's started down a road whose destination we are all familiar with.

Now we just need a new, good season of video content. I’ll consider it an early Christmas gift.

Edit: with the way things are going, do we want to start taking bets on a birthday meltdown?

 

[Stinkyboy]

Hey, babe
I’m a real adult and can cook. Wanna chill at my fartbox? I can ask my geriatric roommate to leave for a bit so you can’t get away

 

[wenttobermuda]

I’m

Now we just need a new, good season of video content. I’ll consider it an early Christmas gift.

Edit: with the way things are going, do we want to start taking bets on a birthday meltdown?

Conditions are excellent for unhinged Wern video content, and bound to improve as the holidays approach.

I bet you a plate of cheesey cukes that peak video content hits the week of November 27th, as wernologists everywhere celebrate Lucas’s promised suicide (11/27, 2035[?]). And Lucas will, of course, spazz out.