Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Krathnami]

There goes his food stamps for the month

 

[WonderWino]

There goes his food stamps for the monthView attachment 5316604

That looks like a step up from what you'd get at a food truck in maui, at best

Yet again lucas tries to use words he thinks are big and complicated to try to sound intelligent and sophisticated, in a manner that is completely and utterly nonsensical. He's bringing up sashimi and implying its part of the poke, which it absolutely is not. Raw tuna is indeed used to make sashimi but the preparation is completely different aside from the fact they both contain tuna. This is like saying a steak is in your food because you're eating hamburger helper. Lucas is also assuming that everything in sashimi is raw, which it isn't. Some of it is, it depends entirely on the fish. Shrimp is usually broiled and eel for example is always marinated and grilled because raw eel would kill you, as all mammals are fatally allergic to eel blood

Also specifically listing sashimi as a favorite food is a weird thing to do as its a essentially an offshoot of sushi. It would make more sense to just say you like sushi

This isn't the 80s or early 90s or even the late 90s, nobody is impressed by anybody saying they like sushi. Least of all a morbidly obese hobo who the staff puts in some corner table as far away from the normal customers as possible while he stuffs his face and rambles half incoherent, angry nonsense into his phone

and like you said, there goes his money for the month. Give it a couple days at most and he'll be bag to e-begging for $50 because he wants to gorge himself again

I'm genuinely surprised that with all this begging for doordash and such he does nobody, especially the locals who know about him and are tired of his shit around town, have sent him shitty tier sushi or food truck raw fish in something that they know will make him sick as fuck. Lucas wouldn't like seafood poisoning. Eat a bad oyster or piece of sushi and it can be really, really bad. Been there done that and that was one of those 'spend several days on the bathroom floor half expecting to die' moments. On the other hand, lucas is too much of a glutton to stop eating it even if it made him sick as fuck

That said, if lucas loves raw fish so much how come he complained so much when klickitat sent him all that free frozen catfish? He should have been happy and used it to make hobo catfish sushi

and if lucas is so desperate for someone to tell him to do something they'd give him $50 for he better be careful what he asks for. He might piss somebody off and get sent a can of surstromming to eat on video in his fartbox. Mallon place would not be pleased and his roommate would probably want to strangle him with his own pantaloonies. The ironic thing is lucas probably wouldn't give a shit, dump a shit ton of pepper all over it and eat it, claiming it was top tier gourmet food. God help the residents of mallon place if he tried to microwave it or put it in the toaster oven though. I wonder how long it would take before the residents and staff realized the horrifying smell was actually from the fish and not from lucas himself. I mean they have to be used to weird smells coming out of lucas's room by now

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

Lucas didn't have a way to make that catfish then, I think he would have liked it otherwise.

 

[Da Dude123]

There goes his food stamps for the monthView attachment 5316604

I am guessing that was what he spent the remainder of the tugboat on after Mallon Place took the majority of it. I am certain he did not make this himself and food stamps are not supposed to be used on prepared food. Is it possible he sold the 20 sided dice that he probably stole from someone else?

 

[Krathnami]

I am guessing that was what he spent the remainder of the tugboat on after Mallon Place took the majority of it. I am certain he did not make this himself and food stamps are not supposed to be used on prepared food. Is it possible he sold the 20 sided dice that he probably stole from someone else?

There’s another image I didn’t post which shows the “before”. He prepared it himself.

 

[WonderWino]

There’s another image I didn’t post which shows the “before”. He prepared it himself.

Well that certainly explains alot. I was wondering where he would have gotten something like that locally, let alone for the tiny amount of money he has. So lucas was handling and preparing the raw fish himself then. I'm not sure I even want to know where he got that. Wherever it was sure didn't give him a grade of fish that is safe to eat raw. No way he could afford that and nobody who gives shit away free would give him that quality of tuna raw

If he was fortunate enough to somehow escape food poisoning there is still a very good chance he ended up with parasites from doing that. Never eat low grade predatory fish raw. Ever. Especially the ones high on the food chain, which tuna is

Now on pointing that out I am suddenly getting a horrifying mental image of lucas having an upset stomach in a week or two, shitting his ass off and noticing a bunch of worms wriggling around in the toilet or a giant tapeworm, and having low enough IQ and understanding of whats appropriate to do to take pictures of it and upload it to twitter or IG or whatever he uses these days

Also, what in the actual fuck is this supposed to be:

Of course, breakfast is truly hobo style for the wern:

He's actually bragging about giving jamie this.....stuff. Because everyone wants eggs in a coffee mug cooked in the microwave for breakfast. I've seen better prison cooking videos. God help us if lucas ever finds out about prison cooking channels. I don't even want to think about the horrors he would inflict upon ramen and summer sausage or the idea that lucas would be true to prisoner form and smuggle the ingredients for the meals out of the food bank stuffed down his pants

and has anyone else noticed how much jamie looks like a sped version of garret dillahunt?

 

[Bassomatic]

I somehow also got stuck into a YouTube loop with jail food. While some stuff (stinger it's a tool to boil water) is pretty damn cool and impressive. Most of it is like watching a child mix 3 kinds of chips and call it dinner. Even knowing the limits and all they have a lot looks gross.

But all of it being pre wrapped etc is safer than what Lucas does and some inmate smashing Doritos into canned sardines still sounds better than popcorn pasta.

Glad pukas is off his meds. He's way more amusing.

 

[Krathnami]

I feel really bad for Jamie. Life is hard enough being a sped without having to tolerate a fat schizophrenic baboon serving you food not meant for human consumption.

 

[WonderWino]

I somehow also got stuck into a YouTube loop with jail food. While some stuff (stinger it's a tool to boil water) is pretty damn cool and impressive. Most of it is like watching a child mix 3 kinds of chips and call it dinner. Even knowing the limits and all they have a lot looks gross.

But all of it being pre wrapped etc is safer than what Lucas does and some inmate smashing Doritos into canned sardines still sounds better than popcorn pasta.

Glad pukas is off his meds. He's way more amusing.

Its pretty ingenious some of the things prisoners come up with. I can just see hobo living on the streets lucas seeing one of those videos on his phone, wanting to heat up some can of soup and making a stinger of his own, only to not disconnect it properly and end up blowing out the power for some apartment building that he was stealing power from to run it. Lucas boiling water in a ratty garbage bag to make his hobo pasta sees like a very wern thing to do. Assuming he has enough brains to follow simple instructions to make said stinger. I could also see him doing something like that after getting banned from the stove and toaster oven for burning shit at the homeless shelter and blowing the fuses and knocking out the power at the homeless shelter trying to cook a toasterbortion in another garbage bag. I'm sure the staff would be real happy with him over doing that

The weird thing about prisoners are the foods they come up with. Sure there are pretty big limits on what kinds of ingredients you can get, but even so they tend to come up with some really odd food creations. I mean they complain they do that because the regular prison food is bad but what they create isn't very different. Those spreads for example - just dumping random everything into a garbage bag, smashing it around with some water and cooking it is just bizarre. There are plenty of things you could do with those ingredients that would be far better and more edible than doing that. Hell, prison spreads are literal wern tier cooking and might even be worse. At least lucas doesn't just dump the contents of his fridge into a plastic bag and boil it all together. When the food you're making is objectively worse than something lucas makes its a pretty big red flag that you're doing something wrong

That said though, there are a few prison youtubers that do make somewhat decent things in videos. Larry lawton for example has shown plenty of the shitty stuff like everyone else, but he does several different pasta dishes that actually seem surprisingly decent. Though i'm not sure I like the idea of microwaving olive oil in a plastic container with a bunch of sliced garlic in it. Seems like an incredibly easy way to start a fire to me. I'm rather surprised the prisons he was in allowed him to do that, both because of that and the fact it would be real easy to throw said microwaved oil in someones face as a weapon and do serious damage

But yeah, seeing that stuff does seem rather childlike even given the ingredients. I mean lucas does the weird shit he does with food cause he's a legit moron who barely knows how to turn on a stove and has a very limited budget but even with the limitations of prison, you'd think there would be far more appetizing things they could come up with than spreads and ramen burritos

I feel really bad for Jamie. Life is hard enough being a sped without having to tolerate a fat schizophrenic baboon serving you food not meant for human consumption.

Yeah exactly. Jamie seems like a decent guy from what we've seen of him. Certainly better than lucas by a huge degree. Its pretty clear lucas exploits him and bullies him, which lucas must get off on to no end, having someone he can finally be the one in charge with. He's very much the type, not that it wasn't obvious a long time ago. What I wonder about is why he does shit like give him food and such. Getting him to play his games I get, talking him into selling his shirt so he can get the lions share I get, but there has to be more to it than that for lucas to be giving food to people. Lucas's MO when it comes to setting people up with food is almost always related to women in some way, or drugs/alcohol. It doesn't seem likely jamie would have much access to alcohol or drugs being in a place like that so I suspect it has to be related to hooking him up in some way. Given jamie looks to be roughly lucas's age it really makes me wonder if he saw some pictures of jamies of a zoomer bae female relative or somebody like that came to visit their sped uncle kind of thing and lucas saw something he liked and is doing all this as some kind of long con to butter jamie up to one day hook him up with a date, put in a good word for lucas during a visit or her number. Its a very lucas thing to do and certainly fits with his standard MO. I really don't see what else it could be. What else could he possibly have to offer lucas that he would want? We all know lucas isn't the generous type and never does anything like this unless he thinks it will benefit him in some way. Especially where food is involved

Frankly mallon place staff really should keep a close eye on the interactions lucas has with him, and anyone else in the building. Especially given his history and the circumstances surrounding his last fartbox eviction

Also, the newest brokeposting post:

Yeah he's definitely talking like old unmedicated wern again

 

[AnOminous]

He's actually bragging about giving jamie this.....stuff. Because everyone wants eggs in a coffee mug cooked in the microwave for breakfast.

Microwaving eggs in a mug is actually not that terrible. But it's nothing to boast about either.

 

[WonderWino]

It might interest people to know that I was just scouring youtube to try to find a clip of lucas puking after his one chip challenge and noticed that the outcast owls have scrubbed their channel and IG account. Found a second channel they ran and they posted this:

I guess it's time for me to jump off the train

What's up guys I thought I would come and give you guys an update and also say goodbye... My family and I are going to be safe we're about 13 mi outside of the fire zone The air quality is still terrible.. as far as my brother goes he has been located thank you for everybody's wishes and concerns

Besides that it's been 2 years....

Clear my voice ""retirement speech""

I've had a great time with everybody we've had a lot of laughs but I think it's time for me to stop neglecting my IRL hobbies and get back to the real life and do some more healthy activities and start getting ready for the holidays

Instead of worrying about keeping up with the latest drama battling multiple strikes and flags on the channel and trying to rebuild every 3 months

Like I said it's time for me to jump off the train lol it's been a fun ride

But this drama community just goes in circles it'll never end

There's no winning there's only back and forth

So it's time for me to get back to pursuing what I really enjoy fishing and outdoors and get back to pursuing the more healthier lifestyle

All the final giveaways were mailed out yesterday and the last sticker batch when it arrives should be mailed out to the people that already sent in for them

Thank you to all the wonderful clip channels viewers and everybody else hoot hoot TV was a great chapter

I appreciate all you guys out there

#weowlhere follow us on Instagram

Sounds like the drama from fucking with people like lucas and getting involved in all that stuff finally bit them in the ass enough times to stop. Well, thats one less irl source of info about lucas then

 

[A Big Bumbling Black Man]

Well, thats one less irl source of info about lucas then

Glad they've given up on giving free shit to a pedophile to pursue a more fulfilling career of walking outside and catching fish.
???
Whatever, run along bozos, try not to make the world more retarded.

 

[WonderWino]

The lastest brokeposting wern posts:

Uh....it sounds like he's ranting about having ED there. Not surprising considering his microdick, the beetus and morbid obesity but you'd think even lucas wouldn't spaz out publicly about it

and of course he tries to manipulate people into buying him $20 worth of burritos....any time up to 2am. Why doesn't it surprise me that lucas would sit in his fartbox shirtless stuffing himself with a bunch of burritos at 2am

Thats a fucking war crime against food. He seared the tuna and then fried it. It must have been the driest, greasiest, toughest leathery piece of fish ever eaten. and of course he proceeded to then boil it in soy and oyster sauce. I wonder if he knows boiling soy sauce is a big no no because chemical reactions cause it to become a low tier carcinogen

That is fucking disgusting. I'm totally sure zoomer baes want leathery inedible tuna boiled in soy and oyster sauce given to them in a nursing home fartbox by a literal obese mental patient. That he thinks this should have them lining up around the block to date him says alot about how broken brained and narcissistic he truly is

 

[Bassomatic]

Nothing works on Pukas, the sexual dysfunction issue is like the bodys first thing to turn off. Being your body tries to stay alive, reproduction isn't the most important, your body rather say keep your lungs working. Dr. Nigga luke should understand this. ED happens for a lot of reasons, younger people are suffering it in droves due to being overweight, and porn addiction etc. It's dark but let's not side track.

Lucas saying he doesn't have ED is fucking comical. We've all sadly seem him at full staff... that was years ago and we don't know how much work effort that took or how long it lasted. I don't know what HIMs is, but if it's like old school viagra, it can be used/abused. So maybe what ever it is people use for 6 hour fuck fests?

I love how Lucas thinks his dare is clever. Who the fuck wants to buy that fat fuck anything? If he was really needy he'd has for rice and beans or canned goods. But he's plenty good and after emptying his EBT he deserves real food cooked and delivered by someone else.

I forgot... not to look at this thread when eating, it's really like watching a special needs child who's left alone in the kitchen.

 

[VoidFace]

So I haven’t been on the site for awhile, but from what I can gather (from here and his latest videos): he’s almost certainly off his meds, right?

I mean, the pseudointellectual memes, begging for food, pining for a girlfriend, yelling about gen z/x…this all seems like classic Wern shit. There is no way in hell he is on his meds.

ETA: Also, new vid from the Wern. More railing against trans people, he definitely had a run in with one at some point and now can’t stop sperging about it. His eyes are looking really puffy too, or is that just me?

 

[WonderWino]

So I haven’t been on the site for awhile, but from what I can gather (from here and his latest videos): he’s almost certainly off his meds, right?

I mean, the pseudointellectual memes, begging for food, pining for a girlfriend, yelling about gen z/x…this all seems like classic Wern shit. There is no way in hell he is on his meds.

ETA: Also, new vid from the Wern. More railing against trans people, he definitely had a run in with one at some point and now can’t stop sperging about it. His eyes are looking really puffy too, or is that just me?

Yeah he's definitely off his meds. He's acting like old hobo unmedicated lucas and he only gets like that when unmedicated

He sure does have a hardon about troons lately. Something must have set him off about troons. Something always does when he goes off like this about something

He's definitely swollen up:

Its not just the eyes, the eyes are just the most obvious sign. His whole lower face is swollen as fuck. But those eyes are really, really bad. Like it looks like he has double eyelids bad. Its not allergies, its from all the salt he's been eating lately with his toasterbortion food. I'd call that a big sign that his kidneys aren't exactly doing well. and are having issues keeping his sodium levels in check when he eats like this. He needs to go on a low sodium diet unless he wants to fuck himself up even more than he has already

The funny thing is the weird way his eyes are in this give him an almost feminine appearance like he's been taking HRT, which is all the funnier given the fact he's ranting about troons in that video

 

[Da Dude123]

@WonderWino , you said earlier that Lucas isn't known to be generous. Now that's not true. Lucas has given over $3000 worth of food to the homeless. He even once gave his Thanksgiving shelter meal leftovers to a hobo who was sleeping on the street. Lucas is plenty generous!

I agree, he has definitely run afoul of a troon recently. He certainly has been moooing about them recently. He looks fat and his eye are damn near swollen shut. But remember, the doctors have told him that he needs to eat more sodium. Not less. Plenty of sodium is plenty good!

 

[VoidFace]

A longer video about the same shit as the last.

Hitting a lot of boxes for classic unmediated Wern:
Lucas not understanding science or scientific studies? Check.
Lucas calling everyone else a bigot while saying things he used to claim were bigoted? Check.
Casual racism? Check.
Sperging about politics? Check.
Name dropping AOC for no reason? Check.
Being too stupid to use words so he ends up saying something that makes him sound gay af? Check.

I’m liking the new content, it feels like classically cringey Lucas.

 

[WonderWino]

A longer video about the same shit as the last.

Hitting a lot of boxes for classic unmediated Wern:
Lucas not understanding science or scientific studies? Check.
Lucas calling everyone else a bigot while saying things he used to claim were bigoted? Check.
Casual racism? Check.
Sperging about politics? Check.
Name dropping AOC for no reason? Check.
Being too stupid to use words so he ends up saying something that makes him sound gay af? Check.

I’m liking the new content, it feels like classically cringey Lucas.

Yeah he's definitely unmedicated. This sudden ranting on bizarre topics screams of a manic episode. That kind of talk is going to get his channel auto flagged if he keeps it up. Youtube doesn't like anti trans and anti gay ranting. Not to mention if the wrong person heard him talk like that in public he'd get his ass beat again

I can't say i'm surprised. Getting stupid about shit and getting off the meds one way or another was inevitable, he always tries to do it eventually. I wonder how long its going to be before he causes an incident that'll get him kicked out. I wonder if it'll involve spazzing out at jamie over something

 

[Twrx]

Yeah he's definitely unmedicated. This sudden ranting on bizarre topics screams of a manic episode. That kind of talk is going to get his channel auto flagged if he keeps it up. Youtube doesn't like anti trans and anti gay ranting. Not to mention if the wrong person heard him talk like that in public he'd get his ass beat again

I can't say i'm surprised. Getting stupid about shit and getting off the meds one way or another was inevitable, he always tries to do it eventually. I wonder how long its going to be before he causes an incident that'll get him kicked out. I wonder if it'll involve spazzing out at jamie over something

Either Jamie not giving him stuff to sell or not giving him a zoomer bae.