💀 Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

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I guess he got frustrated with trying to make up a language for the game and gave up on it. and came up with that shit. It looks like something a toddler drew after raiding a different board game box for dice and shit. Literally the exact sort of thing a parent would look at when shown by a 5 year old and then lie about how impressive it is and how creative the kid is to make the kid happy and feel accomplished at something

Lucas really does have the mentality of a low IQ child
Lucas's map
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He's making up insane nonsense again

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and managed to make himself look like an utter moron in the comments

Silly to presume he says.... immediately after presuming somebody believes the democrats are left wing (they are lucas, you don't know what the left wing is or the difference between left and far left) You're a hypocrite lucas

He gets called out on this, accuses the guy of dodging the question (you know lucas, the thing you do literally every single time you get confronted about your behavior or history), gets explained to him that it was a blatantly obvious rhetorical statement and flat out told lucas does not know how to interact with people normally, which is absolutely correct. and of course lucas ignores this, claims he's plenty good and knows how to interact with people just fine (your history says the exact opposite lucas, as does this very interaction) and then immediately gets bizarrely threatening and tries to intimidat ethe guy by saying he'll block him if he doesn't answer the question

But remember, lucas totally doesn't become threatening and aggressive when people don't do what he wants at all. Nevermind the fact he's proving how quickly and blatantly he does when he doesn't get what he wants. He does the same shit even more overtly with zoomer baes and catfish when he thinks nobody will see the chatlogs

What a fucking loon. With that attitude its no wonder he gets thrown out of so many places
 
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After all the talk here in the last couple days of the shitshow that would result from lucas ended up being stupid enough to go to cambodia.......he starts talking about cheap vacations to cambodia

Yes lucas, by all means take your vacation in cambodia. Its got all that exotic asian food and like you said is cheap. I'm sure nothing bad will happen to you there at all
 
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After all the talk here in the last couple days of the shitshow that would result from lucas ended up being stupid enough to go to cambodia.......he starts talking about cheap vacations to cambodia

Yes lucas, by all means take your vacation in cambodia. Its got all that exotic asian food and like you said is cheap. I'm sure nothing bad will happen to you there at all.

Man, Lucas is living in a fantasy world. He could never ever afford international airplane tickets. Not to mention the cost of getting a passport and everything else. Sure, once you're in Cambodia or Vietnam, things are cheap, but not getting there. Plus could you imagine being stuck in economy class sitting next to that fat cow on a long international flight? He would be spilling into your seat. It would be awful.

Him going anywhere over in that part of the world would go very poorly. He probably couldn't afford to fly to Seattle, let alone anywhere outside the USA. I don't even think a catfish could get him to Asia. He is ripe for another catfishing.
 
Dumb question, but has Lucas ever had a passport?

If he has, is renewing one easier than getting one for the first time?

I've never had one. We would visit Canada when my dad was stationed in northern Maine, but we didn't need them back then.
I'm not a well-seasoned international traveler.
 
Even if some idiot gave Lucas all the money he needed, he'd never make it to South East Asia.

1) When Lucas gets money, he eats it. He'd be fantasizing about watching zoomer baes in tiny bikinis on the beach while gnawing on the last $100 in steak form.
2) He'd be lucky if the other hobos he lives with didn't rob him before his first door dash arrived.
3) As far as I know, he has never had a license to drive. The odds of him having a valid passport are about the same as the odds of Boogie1488 getting thin. He'd never be able to get the documents required and navigate the process to get one.
4) Even if, by some miracle, he managed to avoid the mentioned pit falls he still wouldn't make it. Can you imagine this short sighted moron attempt to arrange for travel and accommodations? Do you think he'd manage to make it to the airport, with everything he needed, on time? Ethan Ralph would look like James Bond in comparison.

The people of South East Asia can sleep soundly. This retard isn't going anywhere.
 
Even if some idiot gave Lucas all the money he needed, he'd never make it to South East Asia.

1) When Lucas gets money, he eats it. He'd be fantasizing about watching zoomer baes in tiny bikinis on the beach while gnawing on the last $100 in steak form.
2) He'd be lucky if the other hobos he lives with didn't rob him before his first door dash arrived.
3) As far as I know, he has never had a license to drive. The odds of him having a valid passport are about the same as the odds of Boogie1488 getting thin. He'd never be able to get the documents required and navigate the process to get one.
4) Even if, by some miracle, he managed to avoid the mentioned pit falls he still wouldn't make it. Can you imagine this short sighted moron attempt to arrange for travel and accommodations? Do you think he'd manage to make it to the airport, with everything he needed, on time? Ethan Ralph would look like James Bond in comparison.

The people of South East Asia can sleep soundly. This retard isn't going anywhere.
He definitely had a license and did drive for awhile when he was much younger. The three best known outcomes of that period of his life were a period we know little about when he lived in his vehicle for what was apparently at least a few months, the whole driving king roys jeep into a fire to impress some girls and catching it on fire, which by all accounts didn't end well for lucas and pissed king roy off to no end, rather understandably. and of course the fact he caught a DUI for being high on weed of all things and losing his license as a result. As far as is known he essentially abandoned driving after this and never made any attempt to do what was needed in order to deal with the DUI and qualify to get his license restored

As for a passport its likely that he did have one at some point when he was young and living at home, as his parents have made references to having taken lucas on a trip to mexico at least once as a child, which lucas also confirmed and still brags about, Though they refused to let him come along on some trip to europe some time after and it pissed him off to no end. That said, he would have a difficult time getting his passport renewed in order to go anywhere and probably wouldn't bother even attempting it unless he either believed getting some teen zoomer bae was pretty much a sure thing or somebody put the majority of the work into doing it themselves to get him one. In the right catfishing situation I wouldn't entirely discount either possibility as it depends on how well lucas could be fooled and how much effort said catfish was willing to put in. As far as his willingness to fall for such a catfishing attempt and actually get on a plane, to be fair he has already proven to be willing to do that with the LA saga under the right circumstances, and more or less did the same thing when catfished from olympia to spokane a decade ago

To be fair lucas never considered the need to have some money on him and a plan for accomodation or at least the ability to get a room if need be due to something going wrong or whatever when he went to LA. Hell he didn't even shower for weeks beforehand and I still wonder how the fuck they even let him on the plane like that, let alone to go to the epicenter of covid infections fo the entire state during the pandemic. Considering the lockdowns and restrictions people were getting fucked over with at the time its bizarre that he somehow avoided all that

and remember he got on the plane even after having his ticket info updated to state that he would be boarding with an infant named itsnotinthecards werner. So he really and truly is really that stupid

So yeah, I wouldn't discount the possibility of him actually going through with such a trip if the opportunity presented itself from a determined enough catfish. He learned absolutely nothing from the LA trip other than the belief that somebody, somewhere will bail him out with a ticket home and food if he fucks up and gets catfished somewhere. I wouldn't be surprised if he would be willing to say fuck it and figures somebody would pay for him to get home if it turned out to be a catfish like they did last time

Lucas getting off the plane, waddling his fat ass down the street in the middle of summer in the sweltering heat of those countries and keeling over cause of his kidneys while leering at some thai ladyboys tits would certainly be a fitting end to the story of the wern. Though waddling off the road in cambodia and getting blown up by some landmine would be quite the ending as well. Can you imagine the look on king roys face if he turned on the news one night and saw a report about some american getting blown up by a landmine in cambodia and then a picture pops up on screen and its one of lucas's crazy eyed psych ward pics like the ones the journos used during the starbucks incident? or the horrified look on myrnas face seeing that on tv and moments later some friend calling her to ask 'hey isn't that your son on the news....? he seems really different from the stuff you said about him.....'

Something tells me there would be no royal feast in his honor at the elk kingdom and probably nobody bothering to claim his body after embarassing them like that. Lucas being denied a burial in spokane to become the stuff of teen boogeyman legends for centuries to come and sorority initiation rituals involving sitting on the werns creepy grave all night and chanting lucas werner 3 times at midnight would be a last fuck you to him from the world. Though maybe a few local legends about the wernsquatch having not died overseas at all but wandered back into the forests and vast alpine peaks of the pacific northwest as silently as he had arrived in town, with his mournful cries for a zoomer bae and famous smell occasionally wafting down from the mountains would be born out of it. It would be spokanes own version of the fouke monster. Maybe added to over the years with stories told by hunters in local bars about how they smelled him or heard him lumbering through the woods near their camp in the mountains one night, or how some old hunter disappeared from his tent one night, unfortunate enough to have met the wernsquatch and been dragged off, never to be seen again. The only clues he was ever there being a angrily shredded flatbill baseball cap, a bunch of missing food and the strange scent of olives, fish, cheese and bbq sauce that smelled like they had been burned in a campfires cooking pot lingering on in the air

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Food handlers permit? The fuck?

Not that I believe for a second that this post is anything but an attempt to lie and scam people for money, but if the city of spokane EVER issues lucas fucking werner of all people a food handling permit I swear I will fly down to spokane and personally slap the government retard who approved of that level of stupidity as a matter of principle
 
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The Wern we have really is the best possible version of him. The only reason he isn't molesting kids is because he's too broke, crazy, and disgusting to get access to any. If he had even a dead end job that let him scrimp and save he 100% would fly to Thailand or Vietnam or whatever and go molest a kid.

He really is a grotesque piece of shit
Don’t worry, he would never get that far. There are no circumstances in which PukeAss would save money towards a future goal. If he had a job, or even if his welfare amount went up, he would still spend it all within days of getting it. The only way he’ll ever go on another trip will be if it’s like the LA saga where someone else buys the ticket for him and swindles him into going.
 
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I guess he got frustrated with trying to make up a language for the game and gave up on it. and came up with that shit. It looks like something a toddler drew after raiding a different board game box for dice and shit. Literally the exact sort of thing a parent would look at when shown by a 5 year old and then lie about how impressive it is and how creative the kid is to make the kid happy and feel accomplished at something

Lucas really does have the mentality of a low IQ child
If you roll all six dice, then what's the point of the white dice?

The point of "wild card" style mechanics is when you CANT get the number/card/suit/etc. you're looking for.

In a game where you can just pick the color dice you want, what's the point of the white dice that lets you pick any other color?

Even if some idiot gave Lucas all the money he needed, he'd never make it to South East Asia.

1) When Lucas gets money, he eats it. He'd be fantasizing about watching zoomer baes in tiny bikinis on the beach while gnawing on the last $100 in steak form.
2) He'd be lucky if the other hobos he lives with didn't rob him before his first door dash arrived.
3) As far as I know, he has never had a license to drive. The odds of him having a valid passport are about the same as the odds of Boogie1488 getting thin. He'd never be able to get the documents required and navigate the process to get one.
4) Even if, by some miracle, he managed to avoid the mentioned pit falls he still wouldn't make it. Can you imagine this short sighted moron attempt to arrange for travel and accommodations? Do you think he'd manage to make it to the airport, with everything he needed, on time? Ethan Ralph would look like James Bond in comparison.

The people of South East Asia can sleep soundly. This retard isn't going anywhere.
Even if Lucas made it to the airport, he'd waste all remaining cash on airport food.

An overpriced food court where he can order from a dozen different restaurants would cause an immediate Werner foodgasm.

Food handlers permit? The fuck?
What fucking permit costs $5?

Is this some scam some other sped came up with?
Is it an excuse the staff made up so Lucas can't make any more Toasterbortions?

Or is this once again Lucas not understanding the cost of real world adult related anything.
 
Fanatical Pragmatist said:
What fucking permit costs $5?

Is this some scam some other sped came up with?
Is it an excuse the staff made up so Lucas can't make any more Toasterbortions?

Or is this once again Lucas not understanding the cost of real world adult related anything.

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Apparently a food handler permit to allow you to work in food handling jobs costs $10 in WA. Thats rather concerning when you think about it and really makes me question whether its a good idea to eat anything that comes out of any restaurant, let alone fast food place in the state. Particularly if the state would grant lucas one under any circumstances - a person who doesn't know the meaning of the words food safety and has posted videos and images of him doing all kinds of horrifyingly unsanitary and cross contamination shit

Given how weirdly specific this particular money demand is it makes me wonder if he thinks he might be able to get a job at mcdonalds or some shit. If so we know how that ended last time and it won't end even that well this time

On the other hand given how he's talking about how he can't cook a steak without it despite supposedly having said steak makes me wonder if with all the toasterbortion tier food he's been making since he got to the new place and sharing with people, he managed to make one of his fellow speds sick enough to seek medical treatment and after learning the details the hospital reported it to the health department because of where he's living and all that and whatever organization it is that runs the place was warned by the health department that lucas is not allowed to cook anything or use the cooking facilities at his new fartbox unless he completes a food safety course and proves he knows how to handle food safely or they'll get their asses fined off

That wouldn't surprise me if one of his fellow speds got sick enough with some kind of poorly handled chicken or pork. Its not like we didn't see it coming and it had to happen sooner or later with the way he handles food

I don't see what else would have prompted him to try to scam people with that particular statement. Its a weird thing to just blurt out out of nowhere, even for lucas
 
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Spoken like an abuser lucas

Also, right after I took that screenshot lucas's fb account got nuked. Scrolled down the page and when it tried to load more of the page this happened:
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Also gone from searches and isn't showing up for my other fb account either. For a second I thought it was a block but i've never interacted with him in any way on any account so he'd have no way to block me. Plus it wouldn't make sense to happen on multiple accounts or disappear from searches as well if that were the case

Wouldn't be surprised if all those attempts to scam people for money recently finally caught fb's attention. Either that or the stuff about being legally required to be mean to people did. I would laugh my ass off if that got lucas shitcanned

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Not sure whats going on with his account but it appears to be disappearing and reactivating every few minutes. I wonder if lucas is fucking with settings and accidentally shut his account off a few times or whether he got suspended and chimped out at somebody to get it back

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Looks like he made steak after all. It looks awful and overcooked. He's also posting that at noon spokane time. The fact he thinks this is worth showing off shows how out of touch and outright stupid lucas is. I wonder if he ate it with his hands as usual

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He's latching on to this food handlers permit scam. If you want it so bad lucas why don't you just pay for it with your tugboat instead of spending it all on steak?

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Yeah i'm not buying that explanation. If you aren't permitted to use the stove and oven you definitely aren't permitted to use the air fryer either. Its literal an oven, so what he is saying doesn't add up at all. and why would he wait 3 months to get this license when he could have done so when he got there?

As i've mentioned before i've worked in nursing homes. Many have access to microwaves and toaster ovens but RESIDENTS are explicitly not permitted to use the actual kitchen equipment. While a food handling license is required to use them, its also a specific insurance and liability thing that they are not permitted access to thinks like stoves, ovens and the dangerous stuff like butcher knives and such, because they are not employees and not assigned to prepare food therefore if something happens or somebody gets injured the insurance company will not cover it and there will be some legal and liability issues for the operators of the building. Every business that operates any kind of kitchen has similar requirements and limitations. Wherever lucas is its some kind of care home type of facility and you can bet they have the same requirements. It doesn't matter if he gets this license, they still aren't allowed to let him use it. Something tells me they didn't entirely explain this to him when he wanted make food with the stove and just told him you have to be licensed for it like the staff are, to try to get him to drop the idea and he is getting stupid about it. He won't be too happy when he spends money on this license and still isn't allowed - and even they ignored this requirement and were stupid enough to let him we know that won't last long because we know how he treats that shit, it'll end up filthy and he will leave it to somebody else to clean up and get banned from it like the toaster oven in the shelter. Speaking of which I bet he cooked that steak in the toaster oven

I'll laugh my ass off if he takes the online course and fails it. Lucas doesn't understand shit about the simplest aspects of food safety and doesn't like being told what he is doing is wrong, He is also shit at tests as he so often whined about in college. Lucas spending $10 on a course and failing would make him doubly pissed as thats money he could have spent on food and would have him seething that the government is telling him he's too stupid and incompetent to handle food safely - one of his touchiest of touchy subjects, Especially considering how often he brags about being a good cook
 
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Looks like he made steak after all. It looks awful and overcooked.
It looks like shoe leather. What the fuck cut even is this?
I'll laugh my ass off if he takes the online course and fails it. Lucas doesn't understand shit about the simplest aspects of food safety and doesn't like being told what he is doing is wrong, He is also shit at tests as he so often whined about in college.
Looking at his tard steak, I wouldn't allow this fucking fat sped to use an oven either.
 
It looks like shoe leather. What the fuck cut even is this?

Looking at his tard steak, I wouldn't allow this fucking fat sped to use an oven either.
Well....

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Jesus fucking christ. No wonder it looked like leather. 10 minutes at 400 in a fucking air fryer? You're not supposed to cook steaks in an oven lucas. and the fact he thinks this is 'cooked really well' speaks for itself

Why the fuck did he use the air fryer? By his own admission theres a toaster oven. Not that he should be using that either let alone to cook a steak but he's done that before in the homeless shelters. He really is obsessed with air fryer. I mean hell he tried to cook nachos in it

and this shit is a prime example of why his claim of being allowed to use the stove if he gets his food safety cert is bs. If that were the case he wouldn't be allowed to cook food at all in the building without one. He's just bsing or misunderstanding what he was told when he wanted to use the stove

On the plus side at least he didn't dump a bunch of bbq sauce, 4 different salts and olives or bacon on the steak. Though that might just be that he tried to and they told him he wasn't allowed to. I'm pretty sure thats some kind of butter or cheese on top of it though. Of course he can't make a simple steak without putting something on it. Because thats what every steak needs - fucking butter or cheese

and on the subject of things lucas should absolutely not be allowed to eat....
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Toast with jam and fucking chocolate syrup. First I don't believe for a second lucas's blood sugar was 48, and if it was he should not be eating THAT as a diabetic and having diabetic kidney failure

Whoever runs the place he is living is negligent as fuck letting him do that

and of course he presents it like its some kind of top tier chefs creation, thinking he will impress people by drizzling the chocolate sauce like that. It looks like something a retarded, candy obsessed, obese 8 year old would make for himself

Also that toast is something I want to see TCAP recipies recreate in one of his videos. I have to see what he would come up with for that one. No fucking way anybody can elevate this to the gold shoe standard

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He admits they don't let him use the air fryer without supervision and 'assistance'

In other words he caused a mess and pissed them off and this was a condition of using it at all, or this place is for people even more retarded than lucas who can't be trusted with anything at all. He's also contradicting himself. If there was a requirement to have that license to use the stove there would definitely be one to handle the airfryer as its literally just a countertop oven. Supervising him wouldn't make up for that, so his explanation isn't adding up

Also, i'll say it again, they're negligent as fuck if they 'supervised' him and let him fuck a steak like that. Though that would explain why he didn't douse it in a bunch of different sauces, as I suspected earlier. He must have been told no and we know how lucas hates that

He must be big mad being told he's not an adult enough to be trusted to use the stove without a license. We know how much deranged pride he has in his supposed cooking skills and how touchy he gets when someone calls him out for being an incompetent cook

He still hasn't explained why he can't just pay for this license himself, its only $5 and its not like this supposed requirement popped out of nowhere. Why didn't he do this months ago with his tugboat? No doubt he wanted to use the stove from day 1, so something is weird here

Also 'I live in a nice adult family home' is a funny way to say privately run dump that scams tax dollars to house idiots who can't function or be trusted to live on their own. He knows how bad it looks to live in a place like that and always tries to be manipulative and paint it in the best possible light. He's also being very particular about not saying where it is

Comments got interesting:
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Lucas: 'Its a rule because it is, I don't know why'
Also lucas: 'I understand why, its for liability reasons in case I cause a food poisoning outbreak' and he's still lying about the cost of the test, its $10 and will not allow him to be allowed to legally use that stove no matter what he claims

If what you are claiming were true lucas you wouldn't be allowed to use the airfryer or toaster oven either without this permit

He's clearly just trying to scam money out of people
 
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So the mooo cow needs donations to get $10 for a food handlers license. . The fat cow is 46 years old and needs help with $10. Come on, Gen Z baes. You got a plenty good man here. Stop being agephobic bigots and date Lucas! Also, he can't use the stove without a responsible adult watching him. Totally normal for anyone.
 
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So the mooo cow needs donations to get $10 for a food handlers license. . The fat cow is 46 years old and needs help with $10. Come on, Gen Z bars. You got a plenty good man here. Stop being agephobic bigots and date Lucas! Also, he can't use the stove without a responsible adult watching him. Totally normal for anyone.
The best part is that he had the money but was so obsessed with getting a steak to stuff his face with that he didn't think far enough ahead to realize if he bought the steak he wouldn't be able to cook it properly and wouldn't be able to use the stove

Its shit like this that prove how truly incompetent he is with money and how pathologically obsessed with food he is, to the point he is incapable of thinking far enough ahead to not realize he has no way of properly cooking the steak he wants to buy. It really is no wonder he was forced to accept a government handler to keep him from spending his money nonsensically

There is also the fact he has no reason to be wanting to use the stove at all at this point, by his own admission. After all, if he has no money then he has nothing to buy anything with the cook on the stove. Unless lucas is truly retarded enough to think he can scam the money for the test and then scam more money to get steaks for him, which I wouldn't put past him. In other words it makes more sense for him to wait a couple weeks and pay for it with his tugboat

and he sure is confident that he will pass the test. Lucas doesn't understand the simplest aspects of food sanitation and safety, he's proven that many times over. I can absolutely see him fucking the whole thing up and failing. Lucas would have a real interesting time explaining that one, he would never live failing that test down
 
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