💀 Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

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The fact lucas hasn't spazzed out over and disavowed the tiktok strongly implies its him. He doesn't tolerate things that make him look bad when pointed out by others. He'd have absolutely flipped out about it by now if it was somebody fucking with him

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No, that would cause the entire world to implode overnight. Lucas does not understand that currency was invented for a reason and serves a very important purpose. But what do you expect from somebody who is so incompetent at handling money that he isn't allowed full access to his own tugboat and has to have everything done for him
 
Fanatical Pragmatist said:
Never forget the first few episodes of "Oliver Dangle" where he's just continuing to doordash food for people despite not getting paid, in what has to be one of the greatest displays of Lucas not knowing how anything related to supply, money, human nature, etc. works.
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Indeed. Lucas literally claims if money disappeared tomorrow everybody would just keep working, because reasons. Yeah i'm sure all those sewer workers and people doing jobs they hate or that are dangerous and are only done at all because people are paid well to do them will totally keep doing their jobs

The entire supply chain would collapse overnight. Hell, farmers would have no reason to let anybody have their crops, nor would they have the ability to get the fuel and equipment needed to plant and harvest them. and i'm totally sure people would sign up for the military without getting paid. and not for free healthcare or education either because according to lucas that would all be free anyway. So why exactly do people sign up to get shot at again? and even as massively funded as it is now its a shit job. Take that funding away and the military couldn't even exist. Lucas is fundamentally incapable of thinking through anything let alone taking his looney ideas to their logical conclusion

and speaking of lucas not knowing anything.....

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He's proving he has no idea what he's talking about again

and he gets called on it:
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Lucas gets told he is wrong and has it clearly explained to him and ignores it entirely claiming the guy is a trump supporter. It really is a minor miracle any of the people forced to live in the same places as him don't beat the shit out of him regularly
 
I can almost guarantee Lucas doesn't know anyone that get him DMT. His trip report matches salvia pretty well, though. Shrooms, weed and salvia any retard can get especially in portland.

"Triple microdose" is also retarded, dude's scared of crossing threshold.
 
SwiftBucks said:
I can almost guarantee Lucas doesn't know anyone that get him DMT. His trip report matches salvia pretty well, though. Shrooms, weed and salvia any retard can get especially in portland.
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Pretty sure you could give Lucas uncut blades of grass, calling it DMT (or anything really), and he'd roll with it. Not only is he a gullible, gigatard who believes anything as long as it's convenient for him to do do, but his brain only (dys)functions on literals. An abstract thought like maybe someone is lying to him regarding something he's unfamiliar with, doesn't trigger anything in his mind. It's all fueled by Lucas wanting to larp as a cool, esoteric scientist, and he can probably trick himself easily because his brain is already FUBAR.
SwiftBucks said:
"Triple microdose" is also retarded, dude's scared of crossing threshold.
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I'm about as much of a psychedelic advocate as there is, without dipping into crystals and tarot cards territory, but Lucas is the specific type of person you do not want crossing any kind of threshold. His tether to reality is already non-existent, and it's a miracle he wasn't condemned to life at the puzzle factory years ago. Any worse and they may have to reconsider lobotomy as a viable option.

Interesting enough on the flip side, I do want Lucas to take more psychedelics. His mind is already so fucked, we might get some sort of horseshoe or rubber band effect and bring him back to reality.
 
WonderWino said:
Indeed. Lucas literally claims if money disappeared tomorrow everybody would just keep working, because reasons. Yeah i'm sure all those sewer workers and people doing jobs they hate or that are dangerous and are only done at all because people are paid well to do them will totally keep doing their jobs

The entire supply chain would collapse overnight. Hell, farmers would have no reason to let anybody have their crops, nor would they have the ability to get the fuel and equipment needed to plant and harvest them. and i'm totally sure people would sign up for the military without getting paid. and not for free healthcare or education either because according to lucas that would all be free anyway. So why exactly do people sign up to get shot at again? and even as massively funded as it is now its a shit job. Take that funding away and the military couldn't even exist. Lucas is fundamentally incapable of thinking through anything let alone taking his looney ideas to their logical conclusion

and speaking of lucas not knowing anything.....

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He's proving he has no idea what he's talking about again

and he gets called on it:
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Lucas gets told he is wrong and has it clearly explained to him and ignores it entirely claiming the guy is a trump supporter. It really is a minor miracle any of the people forced to live in the same places as him don't beat the shit out of him regularly
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It's funny because Lucas rants and raves like the mad lunatic he is by disparaging theists, yet he is stuck in this fantasy world where we can destroy capitalism and everything will be fine. A utopia even less realistic than the heaven he's always ranting against.

So the government is going to privatise the TSA by letting ICE, a federal law enforcement agency. What the fuck?
 
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Lucas is big mad at people ''denying him' likes like they deny him access to zoomer baes. The narcissism is really on display here with his choice of words. He has a very greedy and entitled attitude. He's also proving yet again that people not liking his shit, or disliking it drives him nuts. Hence all those looney videos he used to make trying to use a childs level of reverse psychology to try to manipulate people into living his videos

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Proving he doesn't understand what feminism is. He's also by extension, makin it clear he believes that the only reason she was able to do any of that was because of feminism, which shows he does not see women as equal. Not that we didn't already know that but he's telling on himself here and doesn't even realize it

He also better be careful trying to make statements like that, as one could just as easily make the same argument about him - claims to be a feminist, has a history of domestic violence, stalking and underage grooming
 
Stinkyboy said:
hahahhahahaahahah
his friends

WHAT FRIENDS LUCAS? did you pay them today? your relationships are totally transactional,.. what have you done for them?
no one likes you smelly pedophile
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The best part is posting getting angry because he likes other peoples posts but nobody likes his shows how transactional everything is for him and even better, proves the entire point of post ratings goes entirely over his head

I mean that in itself shows a really astounding level of stupidity, Imagine not understanding the point of liking and disliking posts and the level of abject stupidity that such a thing requires

That said:
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Apparently lucas has discovered trailer park boys. Likely because somebody else was watching it who lives there with him. and of course out of all the shit he could have mentioned.....he only mentions the food part of the episode. He's hyperfocused on food in what little he watches. I won't be surprised if starts talking about wanting to try some of that shit after seeing it on tv. After all its considered a delicacy and we know how lucas likes to try to pass himself as a lover of sophisticated exotic food. If lucas does start wanting to try it no doubt he would ignore all the instructions for it and be stupid enough to just open a window and open it indoors. Guaranteed t hat would be the last time he would be allowed to prepare food in the building. People have been evicted from apartment buildings for doing that

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He's talking nonsense about space and aliens again

EDIT:

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More science idiocy. Nobody is breathing hydrogen lucas, for quite a few reasons, not the least of which is the fact its too fucking flammable, Good luck evolving on a world where you can't use fire cause the atmosphere has a shit ton of hydrogen in it

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Proving he doesn't understand anything about communism again

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Says the guy who doesn't watch tv or movies and doesn't understand what he is watching or reading even when its explained to him most of the time. Lets not forget the voices on the wind go into overdrive and tell him shit when he watches tv, he has admitted this many times which is why he avoids it. So lucas is either proving he's too stupid to understand what they are saying on screen - while lecturing people about how they need to pay more attention to what is being said or the voices on the wind are telling him a totally different story

It was a head lucas. Everybody knows this. Its stated in the dialogue its a head and its been known for years that they even had the props department create one for the scene and decided not to show it outright for dramatic purposes. Like the contents of the briefcase in pulp fiction. You can even fucking google it:
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But go on lucas, keep lecturing people about a film you clearly couldn't follow the plot of or understand what was being said

He's clearly biting the bullet and watching netflix or some shit with somebody at the new place to try to weasel his way into the group so he can try to get something out of them later. We know how that inevitably ends
 
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OopUntilYouVibe said:
Lucas loved discovering the shittiest off shoot of trailer park boys in 2026, posting about how it’s the best episode of tv ever.. posting about se7en after that.. zoomer baes incoming
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Yeah exactly. That was utter shit. Guaranteed he wouldn't understand what was actually going on in half the episodes if he watched any. Though randy is probably his spirit animal. Either that or he'd get ideas from bubbles with the whole living in a shed, smoking weed, drinking and stealing shopping carts to scam stores with, all while creeping on teen girls on his off hours. If he wants to get into trailer park boys to attract the zoomer baes maybe we should start calling him the mustard tiger

and speaking of spirit animals, i'm starting to wonder if the celina 52 guy is secretly a wernologist. After all, I have noticed some very wern like ideas in his posts:
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Definitely looks like something lucas would make, right down to the cheese slices

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They're copying his toasterbortion steaks, but without the 5 kinds of salts and sauces it'll never be a truly authentic wern creation

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Clearly the diner is stealing ideas from his crunchberry and cheese ramen

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and lucas would absolutely pay extra for this. and probably get exactly the same look, for about a minute and then the smell would become overpowering and lucas would get pepper sprayed

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They also clearly have seen lucas himself. Bald? Morbidly obese? Psycho eyes? Lets breed tshirt? Giant awful looking burrito? I mean thats a little on the nose isn't it. Time for that goth chick to get her pepper spray out of her purse and make a run for the door I think

I wonder what lucas would do if somebody sent him that pic. We know he spazzed out over the pregnancy pic. I could see him randomly posting on the page screaming that whoever runs it is an agephobic bigot republican cause lucas thinks its supposed to be him, and confusing the fuck out of the guy who runs the page and everybody following it. If he did that and legitimately ended up being parodied as a crazy diner customer that creeped on the waitresses for awhile afterwards i'd laugh my ass off. Lucas would be seething and angry as shit over that for months. Probably threatening to sue a non existent diner over it as well not realizing its a parody page

Also, we should take a moment to reflect on how utterly hilarious it is that the guy who runs that page went out of his way to create an absurd, creepy, food obsessed parody character and by sheer accident ended up creating a near identical lucas werner character, right down to the lets breed tshirt and burrito. I mean really let that sink in for a second. Imagine what that says about lucas

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He's talking more science gibberish again and thinks he found some kind of nonsensical gotcha about religion. Literally nothing he's talking about has anything to do with each other or that picture. What a fucking loon

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The voices on the wind must have told him this

EDIT:

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What a bizarre thing to say. It speaks volumes about how little lucas understands anything, especially driving and comes up with bizarre scenarios anyway. He clearly isn't aware that different areas already have different speed limits. and says the guy who isn't even allowed to drive because hes insane, has a DUI and a history of driving vehicles deliberately into fires

Its no wonder he lost his license, he doesn't even know speed limit differences in different areas are a thing, even though he did drive at one point. How the fuck did he ever have a license?
 
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Stinkyboy said:
There are NO speed limits under an anarchic system because theres no one to enforce the rules you wouldn't have.
He's so retarded it makes me laugh.
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Yeah exactly. Lucas doesn't understand what the whole point of the entire idea of anarchism is, nor why its contradictory to communism the same as every other organized system

Also, I think we finally found someone for lucas that might be able to tolerate his cooking:

I thought cheesy cukes were bad but battered, deepfried grapes with chocolate sauce is giving lucas's famous dish some real competition in toasterbortion tier meals
 
WonderWino said:
They're copying his toasterbortion steaks, but without the 5 kinds of salts and sauces it'll never be a truly authentic wern creation
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"No urinating in the sink" lmao
WonderWino said:
Clearly the diner is stealing ideas from his crunchberry and cheese ramen
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"$13.51"

It's not like AI slop is highbrow humor, but these made me chuckle.
 
Blasterisk said:
"No urinating in the sink" lmao

"$13.51"

It's not like AI slop is highbrow humor, but these made me chuckle.
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The best part is lucas claimed somebody sent him some wagyu steak awhile back (which was a lie because none of the shitholes he eats at even has it, but if somehow he had gotten ahold of it he'd have taken pictures, videos and bragged the shit out of it to no end) and has a history of pissing in the sink

Lucas did claim to have been working at a diner years ago washing dishes so maybe guys with lucas's habits working in those places is more common than we think
 
WonderWino said:
He's talking more science gibberish again and thinks he found some kind of nonsensical gotcha about religion. Literally nothing he's talking about has anything to do with each other or that picture. What a fucking loon
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Talking about multiverse theory to dunk on religion is also dumb.
If infinite universes exist with infinite possibilities then therefore at least one or more universes exist where God explicitly exists.
Ergo, how can you be definitely sure you aren't in one of the infinite universes where God exists.

WonderWino said:
i'm starting to wonder if the celina 52 guy is secretly a wernologist. After all, I have noticed some very wern like ideas in his posts:
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This all screams very Wern-inspired, to the point of being too on-the-nose.
 
WonderWino said:
Yeah exactly. Lucas doesn't understand what the whole point of the entire idea of anarchism is, nor why its contradictory to communism the same as every other organized system
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Fanatical Pragmatist said:
Talking about multiverse theory to dunk on religion is also dumb.
If infinite universes exist with infinite possibilities then therefore at least one or more universes exist where God explicitly exists.
Ergo, how can you be definitely sure you aren't in one of the infinite universes where God exists.
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These two are kinda one in the same in that Lucas only conceptualizes them as a perfect, ideal world that suits him and cater to his every want/need.

Ofc there are many issues with that, and all of them are laughably retarded. They seemingly never have any bearing on the reality of the matter (i.e., anarcho communism certainly doesn't turn the world into Lucas's bum utopia, and an infinite multiverse doesn't really mean or change anything for this Lucas's universe).

Nor do they just happen with the flick of a magic wand, contrary to what his childlike, subhuman mind wants to believe. Its all nothing more than an extremely dumb retard, with a dysfunctional brain, hoping a magic fairy gives him what he wants. Funnily enough, this is exactly how he thinks God operates. I honestly believe that, as much as Lucas moos and moos and moos about God, he wants nothing more than God to fix his entire life because he believes God is doing that for everyone else BUT him.
 
Political Lucas is worst Lucas. He's "anarcho-communist" simply because he thinks it's the best way to win over zoomer girls while being a poor retard.
 
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Lucas is talking like a middle aged mom trying out the latest diet fad. He does not have 'cheat days' he has never been on a diet in his life and eats literally everything he can get his hands on. He should also explicitly not be eating this considering he's got stage 4 renal failure and beetus to the point that by his own admission his toes are starting to rot off

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Lucas just googles random shit and posts screenshots and tries to present it as an argument and some kind of evidence he has some idea of what he is talking about

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No lucas, you're very much a liberal with a very liberal mindset. an actual communist would see you as the the parasitic non contributor to society that you are and would mark you down near the top of the list of undesirables to be liquidated after the revolution. Stalin had a term for people like you lucas - useful idiots
 
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