💀 Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Fatal Walter]

Lucas apparently left me this comment recently lol

On the video:

My videos on him are so apolitical that both sides can be annoyed at him, I think.

 

[HackerX]

Lucas apparently left me this comment recently lol
View attachment 8792729
On the video:

My videos on him are so apolitical that both sides can be annoyed at him, I think.

He's clearly not mad at all.

Either way, his politics mooing is beyond meaningless, which is basically the same for everything he moos. It's so pointless that there's not a single reason for anyone to get invested whatsoever, no matter where they lie on the spectrum or how enthusiastic they are. It all just boils down to:

- Everyone he likes are socialist and atheist, preferably zoomers.

- Everyone he doesn't like are Christian conservative bigots.

You could be a card-carrying, black bloc, tried and true antifa, but if you don't give Lucas what he wants your grouped with the bigots.

What's funny is how that's so invisible to him. What's even funnier is how he moos about a supermajority of socialist atheist zoomer baes wanting to fuck older dudes, definitely existing. Yet, somehow, they're all also Christian conservative bigots because none have ever presented themselves to him for a brisk anal fisting under the bridge.

All because they've already been converted by flat bills, dudes with money, or my personal favorite, Hitler bombing Japan somehow being involved. Yet the socialist atheist zoomer baes still exist somehow even though they don't exist at the same time. I legit believe his fractured mind operates on some sort of Schroedinger's Zoomer Bae, but I have no clue it reconciles that. Though TBH, it doesn't, but there's a clear delineation in his brain somewhere that seemingly can not detect that clear gap in logic along with many other gaps in logic.

All this to say I give more credence into what literal kindergartners have to say about politics rather than what Lucas has to say. At least they might accidentally stumble onto something that's coherent.

 

[WonderWino]

So they are giving the guy with beetus and renal failure fried dough balls loaded with fat, salt and sugar. Whoever is running this place needs to be put under investigation for putting their residents health at risk

I wonder if lucas realizes that 'eating a puff puff' has several sexual connotations, including at least one referring to sucking a guys cock in prison

You like eating puff puff do you lucas? Gee, i'm totally surprised by that

Lucas no doubt thinks he's being classy by showing off these pouches of yellowfin tuna. Yet another thing he should absolutely not be eating given the amount of mercury in that shit. At least he didn't try to make some kind of horrifying sushi out of it

 

[AnOminous]

So they are giving the guy with beetus and renal failure fried dough balls loaded with fat, salt and sugar. Whoever is running this place needs to be put under investigation for putting their residents health at risk

Just looked these things up. They don't really have much sugar. This is for four servings:

2 cups all-purpose flour
¼ cup sugar
1 teaspoon active dry yeast
¼ teaspoon salt
1 cup warm water (plus more if needed)
Vegetable oil, for frying

They are fried, though.

 

[Duke Nukem]

Lucas apparently left me this comment recently lol
View attachment 8792729
On the video:

My videos on him are so apolitical that both sides can be annoyed at him, I think.

Fair enough, people always try to apply Democrats and Republicans to literally everything, even a creepy NEET like Lucas crying about his lack of sexual success gets people whining about their personal politics.

I dunno what is worse, his incel tendencies or his atrocious war crimes against the Nation of Edible Foodstuffs.

@WonderWino the IFLS people are obnoxious know-nothings desperate to make themselves sound smart, so of fucking course Pukeass would fit right in. Sorry I can't quote your exact post right now.

Back when Maddox was actually funny, if he ever was, he dropped this little truth nugget that describes Pukeass to a T

You're not a nerd, geeks aren't sexy and you don't "fucking love" science.

You're not a nerd, geeks aren't sexy, and you don't fucking love science.

thebestpageintheuniverse.net

https://archive.is/http://thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=youre_not_a_nerd

 

[WonderWino]

He's talking complete nonsense again. No lucas the earth is not going to be hit by a bunch of comets in a million years and no its not going to reboot or do any of that nonsense. You're talking literal gibberish and clearly do not understand the laws of physics or the fact that the entire idea of a big crunch has been disproven for decades, the math makes it impossible. Not to mention the laws of physics. Never learned anything about those in all those science classes you took then lucas?

 

[Duke Nukem]

View attachment 8801647
He's talking complete nonsense again. No lucas the earth is not going to be hit by a bunch of comets in a million years and no its not going to reboot or do any of that nonsense. You're talking literal gibberish and clearly do not understand the laws of physics or the fact that the entire idea of a big crunch has been disproven for decades, the math makes it impossible. Not to mention the laws of physics. Never learned anything about those in all those science classes you took then lucas?

Of course not, he was too busy passing notes to enthusiastic zoomer baes who totally wanted to be his lovers.

Seriously though, I just want to literally put my foot in my mouth every time I read Lucas trying to sound smart.

Would probably taste better than his "cooking" though. A little bit off topic, but probably true nonetheless.

 

[WonderWino]

Of course not, he was too busy passing notes to enthusiastic zoomer baes who totally wanted to be his lovers.

Seriously though, I just want to literally put my foot in my mouth every time I read Lucas trying to sound smart.

Would probably taste better than his "cooking" though. A little bit off topic, but probably true nonetheless.

On that note I went to check lucas's page before replying and was greeted by this:


The algorithm must have figured out we're talking about lucas's cooking and showed me something suitably horrifying...and not too far off from what lucas would actually make. I mean he has put gravy, stuffing and crunchberries in ramen so jello stew really isn't a stretch at all

and speaking of lucas and food. Tugboat day has come and gone and lucas is showing off this months shitty meal:

That has to be one of the lowest quality charcuterie plates I have ever seen. and of course there isn't a single thing on it he should actually be eating given his health. Nothing says capable of making intelligent, mature decisions like having end stage renal failure and stuffing yourself with the most processed of processed meats, pickles and some of the saltiest cheeses you can find.

That said, fucking superstore has better versions and those are store prepared by people not too far off from lucas IQ wise so that doesn't say much for the quality of the restaurant at all

But go ahead and line up ladies, he'd totally be willing to share a plate like this with you, once a month and he'd only eat 75% of it himself. Don't worry, he'll leave you a couple almonds and a pickle

 

[Duke Nukem]

On that note I went to check lucas's page before replying and was greeted by this:

View attachment 8803652
The algorithm must have figured out we're talking about lucas's cooking and showed me something suitably horrifying...and not too far off from what lucas would actually make. I mean he has put gravy, stuffing and crunchberries in ramen so jello stew really isn't a stretch at all

and speaking of lucas and food. Tugboat day has come and gone and lucas is showing off this months shitty meal:
View attachment 8803664
That has to be one of the lowest quality charcuterie plates I have ever seen. and of course there isn't a single thing on it he should actually be eating given his health. Nothing says capable of making intelligent, mature decisions like having end stage renal failure and stuffing yourself with the most processed of processed meats, pickles and some of the saltiest cheeses you can find.

That said, fucking superstore has better versions and those are store prepared by people not too far off from lucas IQ wise so that doesn't say much for the quality of the restaurant at all

But go ahead and line up ladies, he'd totally be willing to share a plate like this with you, once a month and he'd only eat 75% of it himself. Don't worry, he'll leave you a couple almonds and a pickle

There is a meat jelly type of meal that originated in the Soviet era (?) that is relatively popular even today.

https://petersfoodadventures.com/meat-jelly/

However, that is nowhere near kholodets. Just an abomination.

Probably more edible than anything that Lucas has made though. I'm surprised that he hasn't actually tried to write a cookbook by now. Only trolls would bother to read it though.

 

[The Garden]

This made me think of Lucas's latest (known) catfish. Hero court clerk raised the alarm of a 66 year old trying to marry a disabled 22 year old that had previously been declared incompetent. Turns out the old man was already a registered sex offender.

https://wsbt.com/news/local/court-action-taken-to-prevent-marriage-to-sex-offender-sex-offender-block-handicapped-woman-wedding-plans-records-ceremony-police-concerns-law-court-laporte-laporte-county-indiana

Sadly, the 22 year old is already pregnant. At least the clerk was looking out for her and some sources report that her parents' guardianship is being reviewed since they're obviously not protecting her.

 

[WonderWino]

I wouldn't have expected to see an actual wern tier retard meal on an actual gen x vs gen z broke meal video but here we fucking are

That first one with the half retarded looking black guy serving up an ice cream cone covered in chocolate and sprinkles with fucking RAMEN cooked in milk in it and a sweet wafer stick is disturbingly close to something lucas would come up with. The fact that the first person served it is an actual zoomer bae is rather ironic

'Noodle cone' is not something I ever expected to see and something I hope lucas never does cause that might just give him ideas

Fuck getting lucas on podcasts, they should have got him on an episode of a food comparison video like that. All the zoomer baes rating his food a 0 and calling it out for being horrifying would make him blow a gasket

 

[WonderWino]

Lucas quoting some retard who doesn't understand how inflation works


Surprise surprise - lucas found a new victoria to creep on and has started making food offerings to her. He sure does love the idea of trying to steal somebody elses girlfriend with burritos. and of course he's so obsessed with food that he even talks about what other people are eating at their birthday parties. and of course he added ranch to this shitty burrito. Because thats what shrimp and steak need - fucking ranch

The choice of music jesus fucking christ. and the way he stuffs it into his mouth and gets the sauce all over his mouth and smiles like a retarded child about it. He looks like he's busting a nut while he does that


He looks like he just sucked some guy off in that pic. Was that burrito the jason purva special by any chance? Guess you're not a swallower huh lucas

It sure takes the 'shrimp and steak cultural explosion in my mouth' title to a new level

I'm sure trying to steal yet another guys girlfriend will totally end well for you lucas. Thats a real great plan when you're living with the guy and won't backfire on you and get your ass beat at all


Of course his rant about how the world can work without money has absolutely nothing to do with money and is entirely about food. This is absolutely a self insert for lucas. He gets 'prestige' for running a great restaurant (which again has nothing to do with money) and ends up on all these communist councils all over the community and country because of it

My favorite parts: because you're such an awesome chef and food is important, so everyone comes to you. You have your choice of any spouse you want because they want to be with you for your connections gained from outperforming every restaurant in the world

Aside from the fact that again none of that has anything to do with money or running the economy and can't actually work that way, running a restaurant doesn't magically get you any spouse you want lucas. and the best part? He is explicitly describing a gold digger situation, or rather its equivalent in this looney fantasy land - flat out explicitly stating she is only with him because of his connections, and somehow doesn't realize it. In this scenario he is the very flatbill with the car and credit card that he claims to despise

This has to be lucas's worst understanding of money or how economies work yet. Nothing he is saying here has anything at all to do with money. How do you get the resources to run that restaurant lucas? You're not getting them with 'prestige' as that doesn't feed the farmers families or put gas in the trucks used to haul your ingredients to stores

and again, he's so blatant about the self insert here its unreal


The fuck does that have to do with politics or 'leftist populism' lucas? Is bernie sanders out there splitting atoms to get the zoomer baes to throw their panties at him?

 

[Stinkyboy]

Did her boyfriend know he was doing that, though. Or is Lucas going to be back in the hospital for being a creep?

 

[The Garden]

Of all the pictures available of someone being forced to look at something, Lucas had to go with a man abusing a woman. No matter what part of the Lucas cycle he's on, we can always count on him to tell on himself.

 

[WonderWino]

Did her boyfriend know he was doing that, though. Or is Lucas going to be back in the hospital for being a creep?

Even if he knew this is exactly how lucas started shit the last time and he kept trying to do stuff like this and make moves on victoria until both her and the boyfriend figured out what he was trying to do and told him to fuck off. Clearly he learned nothing from that experience and is trying to do that shit all over again. If he keeps doing this sooner or later there is going to be an incident with one of these guys beating the shit out of him for trying to fuck with his girlfriend. Lucas clearly does not understand just how touchy some guys are about this kind of thing. To say nothing of the fact its behavior like this that inevitably leads to a chimpout which could get him kicked out real easy

It also shows just how manipulative lucas is when he does this shit. He does little probing things that make him think he's being clever about it - in this case waiting until her birthday to make his move to frame his offer as a gift so as to be non threatening and not give away his real intentions, as she'll just assume he's being nice cause its her birthday. He's testing the waters to see how she reacts to his offer and how she views him. He'll be more overt and make more offers before long and she'll realize what kind of creep he is not long after

Its worth mentioning that this behavior is also a common MO for family friend type pedos that target the kids of people they know, by inching their way into peoples trust by offering gifts and such at seemingly appropriate times like birthdays and such to make it seem less suspicious when they start doing so at other times for grooming purposes. I'm not the least bit surprised that lucas behaves like a literal child grooming predator with these women


Those are contradictory statements lucas. and again the universe does not reboot. Lucas does not understand the laws of physics, let alone the entire concept behind entropy


Like I said, lucas is more cheese obsessed than the average dog, Its like crack to him

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

The only time I really found board game Lucas funny or interesting was his idea for a game called "Dance of the Telomeres". That was a very autistic idea, not that all his other games aren't autistic. That and when he was in his college student era and tried setting up some of his stupid board games in a common area of the community college and thought a bae would be interested. He was wearing his batman pantaloonies.

Board Game Lucas is like a boardgame all of itself.

Roll a D20.
1 - 19 and you get a lame schizo resource collector - mapping - meeple game, which mechanically makes no sense.
If you land a 20 and you get the perfect combination of creeper and insanity, a terrifying look into Lucas's inner psyche in the form of a board game (which mechanically still makes no sense).

His most recent age-gap dating game was also noteworthy.

I can't find it, but "Proposition" the game of stealing each other's AI baes comes to mind:

Spoiler: Embedded Post

💀 Horrorcow Post in thread 'Lucas Werner'

Feb 5, 2024

Yet another nonsensical game. Especially the youngest player goes first bs. Its like a schizo version of scrabble with d&d shit mixed in. Unsurprisingly he just repeated the insane shit he did with previous games in a slightly different way. and the 'gnome' looks like some kind of pedobait loli. Its obvious exactly what he was thinking when he made it

And it’s even more obvious with this other drivel he came up with

• not in the cards

Reactions: x 6 x 1 x 1 x 1 x 1

Don't forget "Generational Chase"

 

[OopUntilYouVibe]

Ok THAT version of board game Lucas was pretty funny. The shitty AI old grey haired men and young girls still cracks me up. Pathetic horny Lucas expressing his sexual fantasies in “game” form. If he was trying to be slick and pretend that wasn’t all it was, he did literally the worst job possible.

“Brainstorming with friends” what friends? The Late Great Jamie? Fuck off Lucas.

 

[WonderWino]

Ok THAT version of board game Lucas was pretty funny. The shitty AI old grey haired men and young girls still cracks me up. Pathetic horny Lucas expressing his sexual fantasies in “game” form. If he was trying to be slick and pretend that wasn’t all it was, he did literally the worst job possible.

“Brainstorming with friends” what friends? The Late Great Jamie? Fuck off Lucas.

Speaking of jamie at least we know he is now free from having to live with lucas

and when you think about it, those board games lucas made are pretty much him trying to manipulate people who won't date him or hook him up with said date into low key engaging in his sexual degeneracy and fetishes anyway in game form. Its a very common behavior of troons. Lucas being as predatory as a troon doesn't surprise me but I also wouldn't be surprised if he has other troon like behavior and perhaps some low key troon inclinations. After all we already know he's not entirely straight


Considering lucas's history of showing inappropriate sexual interest in his niece, i'm inclined to believe there are so low key sexual innuendo going on with that post

 

[HackerX]

Considering lucas's history of showing inappropriate sexual interest in his niece, i'm inclined to believe there are so low key sexual innuendo going on with that post

I absolutely can not wait to see how he warps this into an angry moo about zoomer baes not fucking him. No idea how his defective brain will malfunction on this one though.

My bet is it's gonna be along the lines of his response to "eww, that'd be like dating my dad" somehow morphing into "you dating someone your own age is incest because that's basically your brother".

 

[WonderWino]

Thats a sad looking ham. Apparently they only let him cut and glaze it