💀 Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks
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OopUntilYouVibe
kiwifarms.net
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- Mar 23, 2026
I wonder what his like/dislike ratio on YouTube looks like. Too bad we can’t see those things anymore. I can’t be the only one that gives the smug fat fuck a quick dislike whenever I see him upload lmao.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
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- Dec 17, 2019
More bizarre schizo talk
and even more schizo talk. and of course he threw a food based alien in with 'banana intelligence' because lucas can't think about anything without somehow twisting it around to include food
You have to wonder what his therapists have thought about this when they started noticing that pattern
- Joined
- Aug 17, 2019
His “science fiction” ideas are so painfully retarded, it’s great. Only a toddler would think having a fucking elephant trunk on their face would be cool or useful. Humans have hands, Lucas.
Also, I love how he won’t rule out the existence of talking bananas, but God is somehow a bridge too far.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
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- Dec 17, 2019
Yeah the irony of calling people gullible idiots for thinking there may be more to the universe than we know about and may be some kind of creator yet thinks its perfectly reasonable and scientific to assume the existence of sentient, talking banana aliens with advanced civilizations and technology just shows how truly stupid he is and how lacking lucas is in even the simplest critical thinking capabilities
That said, I think we all know what lucas's ideal alien civilization looks like:
Also, lucas going into full science mode and vivisecting said alien banana people to after meeting them:
WonderWino
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- Dec 17, 2019
If we ever came across a civilization composed of sentient bacon aliens lucas would go full starship troopers tier warhawk overnight and demand being allowed into the army for the invasion of their planet. He'd waddle his ass off the dropship full on manic psycho eyes with a supersoaker full of ranch dressing in one hand and grenades filled with pepper in the other. He'd be our secret weapon, the only person obsessed enough with food and immune to common sense to be let loose to eat half the population and force them to beg us for peace, under threat of ending up as an entire planet of wern toasterbortions. He'd be like a food obsessed creepy schizo doomguy
I can just imagine lucas's ideal alien homeworld - sentient bacon aliens, entire oceans of ranch dressing that he can cross in hollowed out banana canoes and lakes of shitty alcohol, massive forests of shitty skunkweed pot. In the winter it freezes over and the oceans become giant ranch dressing slushies, it rains bacon bits, everything is free and all the young female bacon aliens have fully functioning bacon wombs, vaginas and greasy bacon tits full of lard that he can suck lard straight out of like the adult baby that he is before he hunts them down like a psycho as he used to talk about being legalized 'if they consent to it' and eats them. It would be every nightmare freud ever had in one planet and species
In 6 months lucas would genocide the entire species through sheer gluttony and food obsession in a manner that would make heydrich horrified
Also, came across this and immediately thought of lucas and his time at SCC
I could absolutely see lucas doing this instead of paying attention in class and being part of why he failed
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- Joined
- Feb 1, 2020
My only guess is the blur is either weed-induced or health-related. Crazy how he thinks this shit is completely normal though.
I've always wondered how Lucas approaches therapy sessions. The most sensical theory is he either shuts off completely, or acts relatively (relative to Lucas) sane since Lucas is vaguely aware of the need to put on a certain persona when dealing with authority figures. However, that'd also be something Lucas has never really demonstrated he's capable of doing for any significant period of timing. His crazy always leaks out.
I'm also curious how rapidly and often he cycles through therapists, either by his doing or theirs. There's no reason to doubt they act like professionals, but they're probably not often equipped for insane, schizofrenic retards like Lucas. God forbid it's a female therapist though because you know that's not sustainable whatsoever.
Lucas's rants against God are pure cope. As much as he moos about 'people worshipping invisible man who doesn't exist', that only serves as validation that he believes in a God, and that's exactly how he thinks God operates. The only real caveat to all this is Lucas doesn't believe God exists (even though he does) because God doesn't offer him infinite zoomer baes. However, the real Cruz of it all is Lucas believes God offers everyone else zoomer baes, and specifically denying him zoomer baes.
You put in enough effort into this post that I absolutely believe it'd convince Lucas that Bacon Aliens exist. Great.
Lucas was relatively quiet yesterday. The manic episode must have winded down.
Don't worry though. The crazy didn't wind down. Maybe he'll stumble across moods and femoids soon? I'd love to see his bizarre rants involving those terms.
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2018
Oh, mooo, mooo, mooo. Maybe he will get sent back to the puzzle factory for "suicide threats" again?
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Wow Lucas, cool it with the anti-Somalian remarks
and even more schizo talk. and of course he threw a food based alien in with 'banana intelligence'
What the fuck is this nightmare shit, this is what I get from reading the Wern thread before bed.
Also Lucas's kidneys would shit out in under a week on the Planet BaconBae
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
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- Dec 17, 2019
Yeah sounds like lucas finished his cooling off period and started another manic cycle. Considering his history of suicide baiting himself into vacations to eastern state I wouldn't be too surprised if he went too far with it and ended up there for awhile. Its not like it would be the first time its happened. No doubt he's angry because he finally has a little money again, keeps ranting into the void and not getting what he wants and clearly isn't getting the reaction he expected or wanted from his latest target. Perhaps he took his shot and got told to fuck off
and as much as he might reee about how much he just wants it to end lucas is terrified of dying. Partly because he's dying getting nothing he wanted and felt he deserved and partly because he absolutely believes in some kind of god that won't be too happy with his personal crusade against said god for not giving him what he wanted. Lets not forget that lucas has even admitted to a belief in god in the past on some level, not just by extension of making it clear god is holding out on him but back in his 2010 manifesto he flat out explicitly stated that at some point when he was younger he used to lay in bed crying and wishing he would die specifically so that he would get to meet an angel (with the implication that said angel would be his girlfriend, so there is that bit of insanity as well) you don't do shit like that if you're an atheist. It would be like some guy saying he wishes he would die so he got to meet the goddess venus despite not being a follower of the old pagan religions or believing in any of that
I've said it before and I stand by it - lucas absolutely has a dracula like personal war with god going on in his head for not giving him a girlfriend
Its what happens when I try to think too much like lucas and try to figure out his mindset. Maybe nietzche was on to something back in the dayFanatical Pragmatist said:
and either that or he would have a massive coronary from all the saturated fat. I wonder how lucas would react if somebody showed him a video of that big rock candy mountain song. Its his perfect fantasy hobo world, I could see him twisting it around in his head into some kind of view that its a communist song intended to rally the hobos to overthrow the government and give everybody free shit
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Lucas of course wouldn't overthrow the government.
He'd just sit in his fartbox and wait for someone else to overthrow the government for him.
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2020
I'm kinda reading it less like a suicide note and more gloating "When I die everyone else will die too and I can't wait because I'm miserable." That's exactly how the sped thinks, though the real question is what was the trigger? Was it Kylie? The black of engagement? An existential realization? (lol no)
WonderWino
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- Dec 17, 2019
According to who lucas? As you like to reee so often, where is your proof?
Back to the whole if there was a god I would have a girlfriend nonsense
But this time he explains why he thinks that way for once. He has convinced himself, entirely nonsensically, that being told he is promised gods love somehow translates as 'god will give you a girlfriend that loves you' rather than said god loving you. He is proving yet again that he has absolutely no understanding of christianity or what it actually says. He just manipulates and twists things in his head to fit his expectations and then convinces himself that these things are true. Such a narcissistic and greedy mindset
Says the guy who never listens to reason
More condescending fishing for zoomer baes
Lucas goes full indian with that one. Also the funny thing is thats an obvious catfish account that says shes from canada
Says the guy who spent years claiming his parents are super wealthy millionaires who will give him millions in inheritence and trying to use that to hook zoomer baes and as a reason as to why you should date him
Guess he got called toxic by somebody
Yeah he definitely got called toxic. He's being manipulative again and assuming people do not know his history or his behavior. Lucas is very toxic. and anybody who goes out of their way to telll you how not toxic they are is definitely projecting the fact that they are toxic and used to being called out for it. You see this same kind of behavior frequently from people in places like dating sites where they randomly blurt out that they are super honest and aren't cheaters unprompted and for no apparent reason, which is a big red flag for said behavior. Always be wary of anybody who says shit like this unprompted, they're doing it for a reason
Says the guy who shows constant anger toward women for not dating him. He's projecting again
Lucas not understanding the insult and trying to turn it around while just making himself look like an idiot
Says the toxic imbecile. The lack of self awareness in that post is astounding
More manipulative behavior from lucas. You are not plenty good lucas. You are a manipulative, toxic, abusive, sociopathic nutcase who has a long history of being a creepy pedo and harassing women
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No it isn't lucas. Let alone with plants. What kind of looney shit is that. The only thing you crave is food and touching little girls
More obsessing over steak. Where are you planning to cook it exactly lucas? You're not allowed to bring people to your tardhouse to cook for them
Lucas is projecting again
Lucas is being a hypocrite again. The exact same thing could be said of his telomere lunacy yet we all know how he reacts to that
Says the guy who claims christians believe that god promises them girlfriends. Lets see some evidence of that lucas
Pure gibberish. He's basically demanding people show him respect for mocking them and calling them idiots for being religious and then playing victim when they refuse to do so. Pure abuser behavior
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OopUntilYouVibe
kiwifarms.net
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- Mar 23, 2026
“I’m not your fucking carpet to walk on” .. Lucas has been as close as there is to a human carpet to walk on his entire life.. This thread is 2433 pages of Lucas being a carpet to walk on lmao.
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2021
Lucas wants to be a carpet, but he’s more akin to the residue inside a burn barrel.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
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- Dec 17, 2019
I would compare lucas to the dudes carpet but carpet wern definitely doesn't tie the room together, even though he is just as old and piss stained
Lucas is more like the skeevy carpet at the entrance to a really sketchy chinese buffet where white trash go on dates and the women use to scrape the dog shit off their shoes that they accidentally stepped in on their way through the parking lot, while remarking about how deformed and sketchy the carpet looks and smells and how uncomfortable being around it makes them, before being forgotten about entirely 2 minutes later as they're sitting down to a shitty chinese buffet meal bought by a gymbro who can actually afford to pay for dinner more than once a month and can actually drive to said date
OopUntilYouVibe
kiwifarms.net
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- Mar 23, 2026
Under a Spokane bridge!
Lmao
I love it. I think a gas station level bottom of the barrel parasite ridden sushi bar entrance might be more appropriate than a Chinese spot though. Everyone knows how much Lucas loves his totally authentic “sushi”!