Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

AlexaAutismo said:
STILL SPERGING. How long can he go boys and girls?
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Awww.....He has chubby little creeper paws.

How does one get a fat middle finger?

Lots of hard work!

(Training montage ensues: To the sounds of 'The Final Countdown', we see Lucas wearing headband and leg warmers stuffing his face at record speed with large blocks of cheese, burritos, and washing it all down with Uncle Creeper's 5-Alarm Atheist Brandy.)


(This hallucination brought to you by Uncle Creeper's 5-Alarm Atheist Brandy! Our slogan is: "Fuck God! Get drunk, Oligarch!")

(Uncle Creeper's warns patrons to drink responsibly, and that "no" means "maybe". Uncle Creeper's is not responsible for sudden and irreversible lengthening of telomeres. The Better to Rape you with, Bitch!) (TM & Co.)
 
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The Wern has been doing some 'research' it seems.

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GleamingTheQ-Bert said:
They both get furious when they put a quarter in the gumball machine of life, crank the dial, and get nothing.
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It’s funnier because gumball machines are supposed to give you a gumball for a quarter.

Russell and Lucas are putting coins in the postal box on the street corner and getting mad when a letter for them doesn’t come out.
Twrx said:
I've picked up a few submissive women on FetLife over the years, my current girlfriend is a sub that lives where I do, and she messaged me, and wanted to be with me. You have to be ridiculously attractive, or bring something worthwhile to the table. And your description being all woe is me, is not going to attract any women. It'll just make people laugh at him, and move on to the next guy. FetLife is pretty much nothing but men, trying to attract the small number of women on the site. And Lucas brings fuck all to the table
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Fuckin weird flex mate, but all right. Not sure if you’re trying to impress us other men, but some of us other men are women. Maybe skip the “my girl is a sub” and just cut right to “Wern’s profile makes him sound unpleasant.”
 
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AbraCadaver said:
It’s funnier because gumball machines are supposed to give you a gumball for a quarter.

Russell and Lucas are putting coins in the postal box on the street corner and getting mad when a letter for them doesn’t come out.


Fuckin weird flex mate, but all right. Not sure if you’re trying to impress us other men, but some of us other men are women. Maybe skip the “my girl is a sub” and just cut right to “Wern’s profile makes him sound unpleasant.”
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Id say the insane pedo gets letters back. All say "It's not in the cards for you".
 
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Leave it to Lucas to trust the words of a man who claims to be a "sexoholic" but has to buy hookers.
 
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AbraCadaver said:
It’s funnier because gumball machines are supposed to give you a gumball for a quarter.

Russell and Lucas are putting coins in the postal box on the street corner and getting mad when a letter for them doesn’t come out.


Fuckin weird flex mate, but all right. Not sure if you’re trying to impress us other men, but some of us other men are women. Maybe skip the “my girl is a sub” and just cut right to “Wern’s profile makes him sound unpleasant.”
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You know, the start of many a great lolcow is sperging about their kinks when literally nobody asked.
 
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This is probably the 2nd or 3rd fetlife profile he's made. All of them have the recurring daddy theme. Based on what I read, it certainly has a lot of red flags on it. Keep in mind that a lot of the people on fetlife will not treat him with tard gloves. They'll treat him for what he is, a violent predator with poor impulse control. Even Mike Holland comes off as more sympathetic than Lucas, and he's physically and mentally abused a girl until her suicide. (I'm aware he's also a rancid piece of shit, but he seems to keep his tard rage in check compared to Lucas)
 
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Greetings all!

I have been lurking here for quite sometime and figured I should make an account since I witness the Wern in the wild quite often. Without flexing too much--plus securing my job--I get to see him often stuffing his face. It is always after the 8th or 9th of the month he begins to appear on the regular and then disappears at the end, so I surmise the first week he is blowing through his food stamps and SSI, "giving to the homeless", only to turn around and eat their food. He is also currently rocking a very greasy pony tail.

Nice to meet you all. :)
 
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Nobleman said:
Greetings all!

I have been lurking here for quite sometime and figured I should make an account since I witness the Wern in the wild quite often. Without flexing too much--plus securing my job--I get to see him often stuffing his face. It is always after the 8th or 9th of the month he begins to appear on the regular and then disappears at the end, so I surmise the first week he is blowing through his food stamps and SSI, "giving to the homeless", only to turn around and eat their food. He is also currently rocking a very greasy pony tail.

Nice to meet you all. :)
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What's it like to observe Wern in the wild? Is he as greasy and foul as he seems in his videos? How does he carry himself? Is imagine him as a shuffling, quiet bum who can't look anyone in the eyes.
 
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wenttobermuda said:
What's it like to observe Wern in the wild? Is he as greasy and foul as he seems in his videos? How does he carry himself? Is imagine him as a shuffling, quiet bum who can't look anyone in the eyes.
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It's a sight to see. I have never been close enough to smell him, but he has been wearing the same pair of dirty blue jeans and a grubby jacket for sometime now. Extremely greasy hair. I have heard on this forum people have witnessed that he has a shuffle. That must be when he was medicated, because now he does this long 1920s black and white cartoonish stride. He goes up and down very awkwardly with each step, and swings his arms like a gorilla. Imagine a system of pulleys and pistons interconnected but in slow motion. That is how he walks.

And you are correct, makes eye contact with no one. Sits alone, eats extremely fast, gets seconds, finishes, and then stares into space a bit and leaves.
 
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wenttobermuda said:
What's it like to observe Wern in the wild? Is he as greasy and foul as he seems in his videos? How does he carry himself? Is imagine him as a shuffling, quiet bum who can't look anyone in the eyes.
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It always looked like way, way, way, fucking galaxies away way too much hair gel to me. Greasy hair usually moves at least a little bit and his looks shiny but also crunchy.

Nobody needs that much hair gel if that's what it is, you're not supposed to use half the bottle in one application.
 
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klickitat said:
It always looked like way, way, way, fucking galaxies away way too much hair gel to me. Greasy hair usually moves at least a little bit and his looks shiny but also crunchy.

Nobody needs that much hair gel if that's what it is, you're not supposed to use half the bottle in one application.
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If I am not mistaken, he wears the tried and true of the late 80's early 90's LA Looks. I recall seeing it on his dining table, where he keeps pretty much anything.
 
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Also, while this is on my mind, I recall someone on here discussing how when he is at fast food restaurants, he mixes his soda flavors....like what we all did when we were little kids.

Another juvenile behavior he does is that he always eats his dessert first with his free meals, then scarfs the rest down. Sort of like if a small child had their way, they would eat a bowl of ice cream before their dinner...
 
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