Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Wernology]

Okay, dude.

 

[Particle Bored]

His favorite word is 'cuh' apparently. That speaks for itself in alot of ways



Someone hit him at least once. Remember the black eye a few months back he flat out refused to acknowledge? I'd say it wasn't the first time it happened either. That said, he would just rationalize any beat down he got as it not being his fault and be because the guy doing the beating was proving lucas right or some schitzo narcissist logic to put the blame on anyone but him. He never learns

Its worth noting that he makes a point of looking around regularly when he is making videos and gets panicky looks when he thinks someone is around at times. I'd say he's had a talking to at least a few times and didn't like where it was going and thats why he does that

But that said, with the way he goes full snitch on people and brags about it while trying to start shit, if he is homeless long term he's going to piss the wrong person off sooner or later with that kind of behavior

"'Cuh' ... basically means 'dude.'"

Or... OR... it's the latest iteration of "cuz," a previous vernacular shortening of "cousin."

- Literally repeats the stuff about loving evolution word for word multiple times and repeats what he just said multiple times (this is the kind of thing both dementia patients and people having psychotic breakdowns do)

His recent "ideal government" ramble (where 22,000 is 1% of 220,000), was fucking torture because of how he repeated the same phrases over and over and over and over and over and over and... (side note: his "everyone gets paid 1 bitcoin" thing was pretty funny, considering only 21 million bitcoins will ever exist)

ETA:

Okay, dude.

View attachment 1250927

Real subtle throwing your nieces in amongst those other "ethnic" chicks that you find sexy.

 

[WonderWino]

Well, I think we can safely say what lucas's new favorite video game is going to be:

Super Bernie World on Steam

Join Bernie's movement and transform the United States in this free retro 2D platformer.

store.steampowered.com

Also worth pointing out the devs who made that are idiots who are asking for a lawsuit. nintendo doesn't mess around where its IP's are concerned and these idiots are taking money as 'donations' as part of it

 

[mothman96]

I did some sexy shit with a black chick

The black chick again. The one he made up and she told him his dick was "so big and so good".

 

[WonderWino]

The black chick again. The one he made up and she told him his dick was "so big and so good".

....that sounds like he got his stereotypes fucked up had an imaginary black chick saying something he'd expect an imaginary asian chick to say cause of the whole 'asian guys have small dicks and black guys have horsecocks' thing which tells you how much of his view of sex revolves entirely around porn

 

[mothman96]

....that sounds like he got his stereotypes fucked up had an imaginary black chick saying something he'd expect an imaginary asian chick to say cause of the whole 'asian guys have small dicks and black guys have horsecocks' thing which tells you how much of his view of sex revolves entirely around porn

Was thinking that back in the depths of his schizo mind, it's been there that he falls short in the dick department. When he made up the black chick, he had to included the "big and so good" to feel better about himself and try to fool women that he actually had more than a stub.

 

[Fatal Walter]

So big and good was a Chris Chan quote from the story of when he lost his virginity. I guess that doesn't really mean Lucas didn't say it, though.

 

[wenttobermuda]

Buckle up kids, lucas has finally started to go off the fucking deep end:

- 'Its a big fat party in all of these apartments during an airborne epidemic'

- Lucas is still spouting nonsense about the death rate being 480x the rate of HIV (which is a nonsensical comparison) and how when you get it you'll die 40% of the time (which is bs) and 'you're just out there fucking and hooking up anyway'

- 'Evolution is beautiful in that it gets rid of stupid people' (lack of self awareness) 'this is why I love evolution'

- 'You're out there not social distancing when the disease which will kill you 480x faster than HIV and has the death rate of the vietnam war!' (says the guy wandering the street and not social distancing himself while saying its a bad thing)

- You can hear the manic internal laughing he is trying to keep from letting out several times when saying all of this if you listen close and pay attention to how hes trying to control his breathing in a way to keep it from bursting out

'People have AIDS for years but this will kill you in three months!' (he apparently thinks wu flu takes 3 months to kill people)

- (while walking past apartments) 'All of the apartments around here! they're all having a big orgy fuckfest!'

- Literally repeats the stuff about loving evolution word for word multiple times and repeats what he just said multiple times (this is the kind of thing both dementia patients and people having psychotic breakdowns do)

- More fertility talk about 'zoomer baes'

- 'The zygote will have a better chance with you and me'

- 'Hopefully they're combining the egg into the sperm cause if they don't its lapsy and misogynistic for scientists but i've never read a study that includes the young egg with the old sperm which means they're either a misogynistic or a bunch of exceptional individuals'

- 'You cut the female out of the equation of making a baby after 8 years of study!'

- 'You leave out the fact that younger eggs do what middle aged sperm does because you're all out there during the during an airborne disease being smart while the hookup culture is popping off in these apartments! They're predicting a baby boom! but what i'm predicting is a plague!'

- We need a new drinking game: take a shot every time lucas repeats 'this is why I love evolution' word for word in exactly the same manner

- He screeches about how getting pussy and starting a family has been his purpose for the last 8 years and 'the entire purpose of his existence! you fucking idiots!'

- He thinks college women are 'feeding off toaster crumbs and mustard packets' and '$100 might buy you some food college girl! $400 for 4 months might buy you quite a bit of food!' (So he literally and directly makes an explicitly predatory statement toward college girls who he believes are vulnerable through lack of food by trying to bait them with offers of money for food and who he thinks will take him up on his offer just so she can eat. RED FUCKING FLAG ALERT)

- Ends the video with 'One very obvious fac....cuh...i'm here to be your HUSBAND'

For a dude that loves evolution, he's sure not ever going to participate in it.

This is one of the best summations yet of Lucas's mating strategy.

Showing his customary sophistication and understanding of human interaction, Lucas believes he will:

1) find a fertile, hungry Zoomer

2) provide said Zoomer with food, demonstrating his fitness as a mate

3) impress the Zoomer with his own potent fertility, because he is old and that makes him sexually potent, and

4) fill the Zoomer with his telomeres and fist and torture her asshole, thereby breeding

Lucas's existence revolves around this plan. It is his purpose. He admits it unselfconsciously.

This isn't even thoughtful enough to be caveman level shit. If an unsuccessful male Chimpanzee were to try to explain, in English, how he intends to make more chimpanzees, it'd come across as more thoughtful and human than Lucas.

So Lucas has a plan, and nothing but, and his monomaniacal devotion to this plan, and it's inevitable failure, will amuse up until he abandons it and dies.

At this point, he is essentially a cartoon character, running around trying to catch Kweens and getting anvils dropped on his head.

 

[mothman96]

So big and good was a Chris Chan quote from the story of when he lost his virginity. I guess that doesn't really mean Lucas didn't say it, though.

Don't follow/read the Chris Chan thread, There should be a screencap back in the thread with Lucas talking about the black chick and the "big and so good".

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

Wow. He is unhinged. The constant repetition of those phrases over and over, word for word, is disturbing. He is getting close to being that homeless guy who mutters a sentence to himself repeatedly as he shuffles aimlessly down the street. I guess if you take the camera away, he is already there.

 

[Rogowski]

Why is he so fucking puffy right now? His face look like it hurts to talk. Is that diabetes? Salt retention?

It looks like he got socked in the eye. Or am I reaching?

 

[WonderWino]

It looks like he got socked in the eye. Or am I reaching?

For his sake I hope thats from getting punched. Otherwise thats a concerning level of water retention he's got going on. If that is water retention and it keeps up like that he'd better see a doctor

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

I thought his eye looked different, although it looks like he irritated it or scratched it. He's so filthy that he probably infects things all the time.

 

[Sevan Vosgi]

Jesus fucking christ, I've only been absent from this thread for two months, and this man really somehow managed to sink lower.

Impressive? In the worst way.

Also TIL Lucas "moved" to Spokane literally because he took a bus there 4 a fake hot date and never got his ass back to Olympia. Wow.

 

[LeeLoo]

Lucas acting like the stable and smart knight in shining MRSA. He’s not like those other guys, he won’t date you until after lockdown. Because you know, social distancing.

I mean, it’s not like we all saw chat logs of Lucas trying to lure a teen-age girl out of the safety of her home during this “evolutionary pandemic” with promises of smoking weed and going out to eat with the added bonus of “we can make out while we wait for our food”.

 

[SarsCUTE69]

Just replying because i read people saying wu flu has a low mortality rate: 1/4 of people dead were totally healthy and basically everything can put you in "risk groups"

Lukas is a man,poor, obese and have already other chronical diseases like mrsa. he would likelly die from suffocation at streets if he ever get sick.

 

[BIG CATS]

It looks like he got socked in the eye. Or am I reaching?

Would explain the sudden need to wear sunglasses for the first time, literally everywhere he goes.

Could just be to conceal those crazy eyes though, both from fellow homeless and the odd passerby.
I bet he frequently gets into awkward situations while he's out visually molesting the general public. He’s probably been called on it, and now thinks that wearing sunglasses makes him “unreadable” or “savvy” like a professional poker player or some utter nonsense.

Hey Lucas, I know you read this thread. I took the liberty of including photos of a real professional poker player for you to study and learn from. Check out all his zoomers!!! Maybe he’ll lend you a few.

 

[mothman96]

Would explain the sudden need to wear sunglasses for the first time, literally everywhere he goes.

Could just be to conceal those crazy eyes though, both from fellow homeless and the odd passerby.
I bet he frequently gets into awkward situations while he's out visually molesting the general public. He’s probably been called on it, and now thinks that wearing sunglasses makes him “unreadable” or “savvy” like a professional poker player or some utter nonsense.

That's what came to my mind. He thinks by wearing sunglasses he'll get to eye rape without anyone noticing he's eye raping. "Handy" for Lucas when little/young girls can be out again in parks/malls/etc.

 

[WonderWino]

So.... now he is literally flat out making videos saying people are hoarding women during the virus outbreak

The best part being he spells it 'horde' so he can't even get that right

Also accuses people of 'picking on him'. But on the plus side he appears to have at least changed his shirt for once

'I don't really get off on topics that I don't think will lead to me finding a girlfriend' (gee, theres a surprise. one track lizard brain indeed)

'I might be your buddy and your friend and hang out but at the same time you know where my mind is and you know what my sorrow comes from....it comes from 8 years alone dealing with a bunch of agephobes, classists, religionists, ableists and bigots and haters towards me when I don't think I deserve as much fucking bullshit as you've thrown at me!'

'You're all out there fucking during the coronacaust so I feel perfectly justified in slut shaming you for maybe another month cause otherwise I don't care, cause its not my business...but you technically are causing a plague to be perpetuated'

'I don't really get off on other topics is what i'm saying other than what I think can lead me down to the path of finding true love ' (theres something real fruedian slip going on with that statement given the way he keeps saying that)

'If you want to give me $100 to date me fine you can do that to' (can you imagine any zoomer giving lucas $100 to go on a date with her? she'd need her own thread right then and there ffs)

'I don't understand why you're greedy with the women and why you're hoarding them like money and I don't understand why you're capitalistic about this'

'I don't understand why you are fucking retarded other than the fact of a personal theory of mine that has to do with biology that takes from other theories and builds a new theory cause thats what science does'

 

[simulated goat]

For a dude that loves evolution, he's sure not ever going to participate in it.

This is one of the best summations yet of Lucas's mating strategy.

Showing his customary sophistication and understanding of human peacock interaction, Lucas believes he will:

1) find a fertile, hungry Zoomer peahen

2) provide said Zoomer peahen with food, demonstrating his fitness as a mate

3) impress the Zoomer peahen with his own potent fertility, because he is old and that makes him sexually potent, and

I've filled this progression out using peacocks, but it is common mating strategy amongst lower animals. Lucas seems to view women an sex as a cargo cult item. He figures he makes the right calls, finds some morsels for the chick and does the cha-cha just right, she'll have to give it up.

4) fill the Zoomer peahen. with his telomeres and fist and torture her asshole, thereby breeding

However, I do not think Darwin ever encountered this as any kind of successful outcome, probably because it is a dead end evolution wise.