Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Fatal Walter]

Wow, going back to college, huh? Lest we forget, last time Lucas went to college he took math 92. Here's him finding out he had one more day to study and then just complaining and probably failing instead.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

Is he doing an online course? because I'm pretty sure his area extended the stay at home order.

 

[Fatal Walter]

I'm pretty sure it's about as definite of a plan as hopping a train was. Lucas is just getting really stoned and talking shit about what he's going to do to impress people or something. It's like when you're sitting around with your friends stoned and it's just like "Hey, you know what we should do?" and you know you're never going to do it. But he doesn't have any friends so he has to tell youtube instead.

 

[PissPool]

Haha the anger rises.
He's mad that only males are sending him food and not women.
You may be asking, is he mad that women aren't sending him food, or is he mad that the men aren't sending women?
BOTH!
Then he spits on the camera some more.

well fuck, now I have MRSA after having all that dirty Lucas slobber flung at me.

 

[Boulder Patrol]

Man, I'm just shaking over the thought of accidentally shooting myself in the head! (though I do not own a gun (but I am at the gun store))

Gee willickers, can you imagine what would happen? Should I get one? Trust me, I'm really afraid, tee hee!

Sorry for being late on this one, but this has the same effect as what was actually posted.

 

[Club Sandwich]

he claims he wants to go back to college to actually get a job afterwards

math 92

the Wern apparently fails at remedial (sub 100 level courses are generally remedial IIRC, been a while since college) math. 92 is freshmen math, like algebra 1 or something. this is taught to 13-year-olds. this is stuff like "solve for x where y + x = 13 and y = 5".

combined with "cooking" skills, and i guess being able to dress himself and possibly bath, what kind of career is Lucas hoping of getting?

this is one of those "he is so incompetent at everything that his very incompetence prevents him of realizing the depth of failure he possess." i'm not saying he can't be taught or can't learn or something, but every student starts with admitting they do not know everything and that a superior subject matter expert or source is required as a guide to grow in knowledge or skill. this is the essence of scholastic theory.

Lucas can't even acknowledge reality.

 

[Mertor]

It's nice that he want to go back to college, though isn't a little bit to late for him? Still I wonder, what topic he could possibly major in? Any ideas?

 

[Boulder Patrol]

It's nice that he want to go back to college, though isn't a little bit to late for him? Still I wonder, what topic he could possibly major in? Any ideas?

I think if he really wanted, he could go back. What is stopping him are his unrelated obsessions and incredible laziness. We all know why he wants to go to college - its the need for unwarranted intellectual superiority and chance with college women he really wants. Plus it gives him something to do.

Putting all that aside, he could never major in anything because he can't accept critique or authority to advance anywhere.

Putting even that aside, he probably does not have the mental capabilities to keep track of what he is doing during reading sessions and mathematical reasoning, as we all know he has trouble focusing.

According to other users, it is like he is in a permanent dream, and that is extremely saddening to try and comprehend... until you realize he isn't even trying to make his schizophrenic condition any better! He recognizes the problems but deny his condition.

 

[Wernology]

It's nice that he want to go back to college, though isn't a little bit to late for him? Still I wonder, what topic he could possibly major in? Any ideas?

Well, since astrophysics, astrobiology, biology, and basic math were too hard...

"Professional board game designer" was the last inexplicable major he threw out while he was still talking about college.

But, of course, even if he did manage to get into some game design program that wasn't focused on video games, he already thinks he's a genius in that department and would lose his shit if someone who had been successful in that field criticized him.

Could you just imagine him trying to pitch the terrible magnum opus that is Cafeteria Uprising on a show like Shark Tank or Dragons Den?

He's be the next Bulletball guy (in fairness, that one was on American Inventor) but, to be entirely fair there, that guy did go on to have some minor success in niche markets.

 

[Blonde Bomb]

For all his boasting, we all know that Lucas would be a one pump chump. Probably another reason he wants a very young girl (aside from you know, being a pedo) - they don't know what good sex is.

 

[mothman96]

For all his boasting, we all know that Lucas would be a one pump chump. Probably another reason he wants a very young girl (aside from you, being a pedo) - they don't know what good sex is.

That's if he can get his micro up for the one pump.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

For all his boasting, we all know that Lucas would be a one pump chump. Probably another reason he wants a very young girl (aside from you, being a pedo) - they don't know what good sex is.

Didn't he admit he was a one pump chump with Suzanne or whoever he pretends he lost his virginity to?

With a hot zoomer girl, I don't think he'd last long enough to get his 2 incher in.

 

[wenttobermuda]

For all his boasting, we all know that Lucas would be a one pump chump. Probably another reason he wants a very young girl (aside from you, being a pedo) - they don't know what good sex is.

I think the consensus, based on his dick pics, is that Lucas isn't capable of the penetration required to be a one pump chump.

Do not worry. He has a big, meaty fist.

 

[Blonde Bomb]

I think the consensus, based on his dick pics, is that Lucas isn't capable of the penetration required to be a one pump chump.

Do not worry. He has a big, meaty fist.

Ah, yes...every young girl's dream of her first time - the romance of being under a bridge during a pandemic, cocktail peps strewn like rose petals to a flattened cardboard box, and a greasy, smelly, mentally unbalanced homeless 40 year old just ramming his entire fist inside you. I doubt Lucas bothers with foreplay, either.

I---I'm just going to go and sit and think about what I just typed.

 

[PrincessKidana]

I think the consensus, based on his dick pics, is that Lucas isn't capable of the penetration required to be a one pump chump.

Do not worry. He has a big, meaty fist.

Yes. Every girl dreams of getting cunt punched by a fucking micropeen that probably hasn't been washed in fucking weeks and has been stewing in the ball sweat that has accumulated during that time in the same rotted underwear he hasn't changed, even once.

Man.... if I wasn't outside of his age range, I would... I would dump my boyfriend right now and get a one-way ticket to Spokane just to have that opportunity.

For the record, that was sarcasm. Lucas, since I know you stalk this thread, I'm not coming. My boyfriend washes regularly and practices basic hygiene. Plus he doesn't look like an over-toasted Stay Puft Marshmallow Man or have psychotic breaks with reality.

So Void Face made another response video to Lucas' lunacy and added a bonus video: a compilation of Lucas' new favorite word. The bonus video has me cracking tf up.

 

[LightEmittingDiode]

Lucas screaming “greed” towards his dick in his latest IG video..
He is terrifying to look at

 

[PrincessKidana]

Lucas screaming “greed” towards his dick in his latest IG video..
He is terrifying to look at

I saw that. He is losing his fucking mind.

 

[wenttobermuda]

So Void Face made another response video to Lucas' lunacy and added a bonus video: a compilation of Lucas' new favorite word. The bonus video has me cracking tf up.

https://youtu.be/vt9_Ql9-_IA

Lucas on a Tear, pt. 1

Lucas has been strangely active, lately, probably a manic episode. Anyways, here you go. Let me know if you want more.

youtu.be

I'm not a fan of Void Face (unless he's pissing Lucas off, in which case does he have a Patreon, would he like some GrubHub?) but the Bonus is pretty funny. I would've preferred if he focused on SHUT THE FUCK UP FAGGOT, but the "Bitch" medley was nice.

Hopefully he introduces his, like, 70 subscribers to Wernology, and they find their way here to talk about Lucas's malformed psyche. And his penis.

 

[PrincessKidana]

I'm not a fan of Void Face (unless he's pissing Lucas off, in which case does he have a Patreon, would he like some GrubHub?) but the Bonus is pretty funny. I would've preferred if he focused on SHUT THE FUCK UP FAGGOT, but the "Bitch" medley was nice.

Hopefully he introduces his, like, 70 subscribers to Wernology, and they find their way here to talk about Lucas's malformed psyche. And his penis.

I like Void Face because he makes me laugh. Guys who can make me laugh are great.

To be fair, I like men who can make me laugh with them. Not at them (like what Lucas inspires).

 

[wenttobermuda]

Lucas screaming “greed” towards his dick in his latest IG video..
He is terrifying to look at

He is shouting "GREED" at his Werner wiener. He is addressing his wiener, not an audience.

He is accusing his wiener of being greedy. He must realize his existence is ruled by the sad, soft little mushroom he pisses from. And also his gut.

And that face. Disheveled, raging, boogery, bloated, he must be horrifying his wiener.

Lucas is disintegrating before our eyes, and it's glorious. But you can only shout at your wiener so much in public before the men with the butterfly nets come for you.