- Joined
- Feb 19, 2015
One of the scariest and most perplexing things about Lucas is his obsession with fisting. When was it that he first started talking about that?
Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks
- Thread starter SpacePanther
- Start date
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2013
I like this question, and as time permits will assemble a detail response, complete with screenshots.
I believe an interest in anal torture was documented very early in the development of Wernology. When bragging about fantasy sexual exploits, he'd mention having his "hand inside" women. He made several references to fisting generally.
My sense is that when we look at the timeline, we will find a ton of fisting related statements after his dick pic was shared, and the public discovered that he had a micro penis.
Note that around the his time, he begged for sympathy on Facebook, noting his putative "girlfriend" didn't want him any more because of his small penis (which she was afraid he'd pass on to his son).
I watch this gross, fat fuck grow even grosser and fatter on food he does not earn, and I wonder who among us is exceptional enough to feed him? What's the comedic value in trading GrubHub for a shout out from an aspiring sex offender?
What you feed grows. Lucas and the idiots who feed him have inspired me.
I'm going to tell all my kids this bedtime story when they're ungrateful:
Once upon a time there was an unhappy little boy that none of the little girls would talk to. When he would get sad and cry, which was often, his mommy fed him ice cream. She fed him when he was sad because she didn't know what else to do; he ate, all the time, because he had nothing else to do. And so he became an unhappy, fat little boy, and he dumped his pants all the time. Everyone laughed at him.
The unhappy, fat little boy kept eating, but he never grew up. Nobody could figure out what to do with him but feed him or laugh at him. His mommy spoiled him, until she had enough. A lonely old lady spoiled him, until she had enough. But he
never had enough. He never had enough clean underwear, either.
He never grew up, but he became an old man. Nobody liked him, but people kept feeding him because they thought it was funny to watch him eat and listen to his farts. He kept eating.
He was very fat and very sad. From dawn at the homeless shelter, til midnight in his cot, he ate, and he farted, and he burped, and he crapped. It was all he had to look forward to, and all he remembered...and to this day, if you want to watch him eat and hear his farts, you can go on to GrubHub...
The unhappy, fat little boy kept eating, but he never grew up. Nobody could figure out what to do with him but feed him or laugh at him. His mommy spoiled him, until she had enough. A lonely old lady spoiled him, until she had enough. But he
never had enough. He never had enough clean underwear, either.
He never grew up, but he became an old man. Nobody liked him, but people kept feeding him because they thought it was funny to watch him eat and listen to his farts. He kept eating.
He was very fat and very sad. From dawn at the homeless shelter, til midnight in his cot, he ate, and he farted, and he burped, and he crapped. It was all he had to look forward to, and all he remembered...and to this day, if you want to watch him eat and hear his farts, you can go on to GrubHub...
Last edited:
Trainwreck
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2017
I think it was after he sent his tiny dick pics that got leaked and people commented on the size. He figured he could remedy that and still please a woman, or child, by ramming his fist/arm up their vaginas.
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2018
I think it’s just porn brain.
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2019
Yeah, probably. There's a lot of that #BarelyLegal #AnalGape shit in porn these days.
Fatal Walter
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2019
I'll admit it's kind of funny to see his ego grow massively, along with his stomach, every time someone sends him cheeseburgers but overall I'd definitely rather they didn't do it. He's probably funnier when nothing is working out anyway.
- Joined
- Jan 14, 2017
Regarding his August money, didn't he mention somewhere back about getting college loan disbursements again?
"If" he were to go back to college in the fall, he would get the left over financial aid disbursement like 3 weeks after the start of the quarter.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
and as he is so fond of pointing out he has no intention of doing that unless he gets a girlfriend
- Joined
- Jul 24, 2019
I think there is also an aspect of “punishment” in the act of it. His resentment of women is expressed in wanting to fist them in retaliation for their rejection of him. Along with the compensation aspect of having a micropeen.
My two cents. I can’t believe I just wrote that sentence. I’m gonna go shower.
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2019
Going back to school is Lucas' gift to his special lady once they're dating for 6 months. Only 1 date per month, of course. Unless you want to fuck in his tent.
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2019
Frankly, I’m pretty gobsmacked that Lucas would be given a second chance at a fully funded college course. Am I right in saying that these programs are aimed at making people with chequered pasts a bit more employable?
Lucas has made it clear that he has no interest in getting a job. He already has a HSD/GED, and what career avenues would a college degree open up for him for which his criminal record, shit attitude and reputation wouldn’t already disqualify him?
Lucas mentioned recently about leaving an assignment ‘in the library’ as a reason for him leaving college. This raises my suspicion that he was kicked out for underperformance in a core subject like math. I don’t get why he would be allowed back.
Either:
1. Lucas is lying to whatever guidance counsellor he has in order to give the impression of intending to work.
2. He’s lying by saying that he’s returning to college, most likely in a Lucasy way of getting a girlfriend.
3. The system is utterly fucked up and enables tards like him to leech off society.
Lucas has made it clear that he has no interest in getting a job. He already has a HSD/GED, and what career avenues would a college degree open up for him for which his criminal record, shit attitude and reputation wouldn’t already disqualify him?
Lucas mentioned recently about leaving an assignment ‘in the library’ as a reason for him leaving college. This raises my suspicion that he was kicked out for underperformance in a core subject like math. I don’t get why he would be allowed back.
Either:
1. Lucas is lying to whatever guidance counsellor he has in order to give the impression of intending to work.
2. He’s lying by saying that he’s returning to college, most likely in a Lucasy way of getting a girlfriend.
3. The system is utterly fucked up and enables tards like him to leech off society.
Last edited:
Fatal Walter
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2019
It's been a while since I've gone to college so maybe things have changed but I think Washington actually does allow someone to mess up once and get back on financial aid. The real problem is that you have to do some sort of appeal so Lucas would have to be able to convince someone he was going to be serious about passing this time and wasn't just going for college chicks. I'm not sure he's capable of doing that. But I guess it's all a moot point if he's only going back if he has a girlfriend because that's definitely not going to happen.
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2019
It's community college. Anyone who is poor can go to one for free, or close enough to free with grants.
He's never going back anyway.
He's never going back anyway.
- Joined
- Apr 27, 2020
I happened to watch this without my ear buds connected and my daughter (9-years-old) heard it and peaked over my shoulder. Her answer: "Gee, I don't know... maybe because women think you're gross?"
A 9-year-old gets it. Lucas, it isn't the women. It isn't the men hoarding the women. It is you. YOU are the issue.
A 9-year-old gets it. Lucas, it isn't the women. It isn't the men hoarding the women. It is you. YOU are the issue.
Last edited by a moderator:
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2019
First it was “I’m going to college to get a girlfriend” now it’s “I’m not going back to college until I get a girlfriend.”
I remember a video where Lucas was heavily medicated, well groomed and zero telomere talk following his discharge from hospital. He was talking matter-of-factly about how he was going to get his PhD in Theoretical Physics “Or maybe Astrobiology.. I haven’t decided”. Even at his most lucid, Lucas has delusions of his own intelligence.
Having these lofty expectations and then failing pre-university math and biology must have been incredibly painful for him. I doubt he wants to subject himself to that level of cognitive dissonance again.
Anyone got the screens/logs of where he whined one of his catfish/undercover SOFALAW friends about how much he hated college and where he literally said ‘math is hard’? I wanna make a meme.
Fatal Walter
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2019
I'm guessing this was the one?
There's quite a bit of him complaining about math, though, actually.
And here's a bonus conversation with Lucas being creepy around the same time.
Edit: Fuck, I just keep finding more of it.
There's quite a bit of him complaining about math, though, actually.
And here's a bonus conversation with Lucas being creepy around the same time.
Edit: Fuck, I just keep finding more of it.
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2013
Oh god. My favorite Lucas quote is him referring to himself as a "poor lad"
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
So he is so shitty at math that he doesn't even bother to take the test
Honestly even the shittiest highschool dropout in any school still at least attempts to take the tests even if they completely crash and burn and are utterly incompetent at math. It takes a special kind of lazy incompetent twit to not even bother to take the test
I'd bet money on it being because if he took the test he would be unable to avoid getting written proof from a teacher failing him and saying hes shit at math. Lucas doesn't tolerate people questioning or criticizing him, his fallback is always to try to run away, block or ignore people who do that. But he knows that he can't do that with a teacher because everything is graded, so his moronic plan is to avoid the criticism by avoiding the test
It shows how ingrained his behavior is and how stupid he is that he thinks this is a reasonable solution
Mr 'I was on the honor roll' indeed.
I would really, really like to know how he managed to get on the honor roll at all when he literally refused to take remedial math tests. Every school i've ever been to required you to a) at the very least get a passing grade in every class you were taking and b) get a high grade in a certain percentage of those classes. That could literally not have happened in lucas's case by his own admission, so there is no way somebody didn't do something sketchy to put him on the honor roll
The only other possibility i'm seeing here is that the school has some kind of specific policy for 'special' students like lucas where they get the college version of a participation trophy and automatically get put on honor roll and the like as a self esteem thing to motivate them and lucas (unsurprisingly) didn't realize it and had no idea he was being pandered to and patronized
and i'm not even going to ask what the fuck he is doing talking about 10th graders like that. That raises more red flags than a moscow mayday parade
Fatal Walter
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2019
Yes, he even found out he was wrong about the day and that the test was the next day, giving him time to study for it that night. But he decided to give up on the subject entirely instead and focus on his other classes. Even Lucas couldn't fail remedial English probably.
