Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks
- Thread starter SpacePanther
- Start date
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2018
I bet Lucas was furious when he read that comment. Damn bigot! He is plenty good, and has awesome telomeres. Those Gen Z girls are nothing but bigots for not lining up outside the homeless shelters to throw their panties at him!
TelemeresDaddy69
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2019
You gotta wonder how his brain thinks any of these posts are flattering. He's even got what appears to be an ogre/troll hunch going on. Amazing how he can be homeless, yet still manage to stay this obese. I can only imagine how horrifying he looks in person
That and nobody wants to catch mrsa. Unsurprisingly he deleted the comment pretty quick. Still, it's good he has to read this every other day even if he deletes the comments, they still leave him seething for the day
That and nobody wants to catch mrsa. Unsurprisingly he deleted the comment pretty quick. Still, it's good he has to read this every other day even if he deletes the comments, they still leave him seething for the day
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2013
I am not involved in the podcast.
I do, however, look forward to it.
I suspect it's going to be different from the first two.
The desperate chest thumping of a loser ape that can't get anyone interested in his penis.
Lucas Colby Werner has achieved a curious notoriety. You know him because he, at the age of 40, wants to ball teen girls and insists he is uniquely qualified to do it. He is a creep among creeps. In a world where dirty old men with socially inappropriate sexual desires seem ubiquitous, it is quite the feat to earn renown for being a creep. His quixotic attempts to satisfy his lust for teen poonaner have been recounted in international news outlets. While what Lucas wants isn’t unique, he is nonetheless extraordinary. By laughing at him, we can illuminate some of the darkest corners of the human experience, and the basic animal impulse to fuck. Lucas is a commentary on the absurdity of having a dick nobody wants anything to do with. This is what it means to be a worthless man.
Some fortunate men find a balance between what they want and the way things are, or at least satisfy their desires every once in a while. Others, like Lucas, want it all and have none of it. Lucas is both hypersexual and sexless.
Sex to Lucas is fundamentally a competition with other men for access to very young women. Girls, really. He is remarkably obsessed with courtship, and operates on the level of a rutting male. Preoccupied with his rivals, and to a lesser extent, fertile young poonaner, Lucas is driven to demonstrate his suitability as a mate to “baes.” He freely confesses that the meaning of life is impregnating women, a sentiment he shares with most mammals, who unlike Lucas, can’t articulate it on IG and FB. It escapes him that other folks aren’t as consciously fixated on reproduction as he is.
Rutting primate that he is, human courtship is a bit complex for him. Lucas has a rudimentary sense of how other males go about it; he’s observed as much whilst enviously gnashing his false teeth. He knows that he is supposed to signal positive things to the ladies, and they are to be receptive, but the particulars escape him. More alarming, though, he has no positive qualities to show off.
For example, Lucas seems to realize that other rutting men often signal their ability to provide resources and status. This is how he sees the courtship game, the rules he follows. For example, he understands cars and credit cards as seduction displays, not conveniences, and assumes other men see them that way. This is a problem. He has no car, no credit card, none of the trappings of an independent adult life. The few resources Lucas has are provided for him by the state, in recognition of his abject incompetence. Or disability. Lucas has, by his own admission, not earned a day's wages since 1999.
Unsurprisingly, Lucas has precious little resources or status to display in the courtship game. Not only does he have nothing, he has done nothing, and it has always been so. He is a marginalized male, on the periphery of any social group his entire life. He's the chimp who got chased out of the troop. He's the one guy not invited to the party.
Whatever way the world evaluates male worth, Lucas will come up short. Economically, Lucas is a literal hobo on SSI. He has no independent access to resources. His poor mental and physical health set a low ceiling on his social status. He’ll never be praised for his wit or athleticism. Lucas is simply too weak, stupid and emotionally unsound to achieve anything suitable for a status display. His personality holds him back, too. To the extent that confidence and an appealing manner matter in courtship, Lucas is an off putting creep who does not understand the dynamics of socializing. While other men may get the attention of baes with charm or artistic and creative abilities, Lucas has none at his command. Finally, even if being a nice and moral guy is relevant to the courtship game, Lucas is a cruel, wretched asshole. Who ever got laid for having the proper opinions, too?
The result is hilarious, if bleak. While Lucas is obsessed with competing for baes in the courtship game, he isn't a participant; his total lack of status renders him a marginalized observer. Imagine him, on the sideline of a football game, confined to a wheel chair, screaming that somebody should hand him the ball, and you’ll get a sense of this dynamic. So he grits his teeth and growls about being a "third wheel," when he’s not even a wheel.
It must bother him that women don't see him as a potential sex partner, and that men don't see him as competition. He's intently injecting himself in a game he can't play. Lucas is socially excluded from it, literally howling "Where's the party at Z? Where are the women at?"
If Lucas doesn’t get to play the courtship game, the game must stop. Think of him as a little boy left out of tag, who demands that the game end. Rather than consider his shortcomings, or attempt to cultivate status and resources, Lucas attributes his difficulty in finding a bae to the wickedness of his fellow man. If Lucas is social excluded from the courtship game, it is not because of his individual qualities. He’s plenty good. And it’s not because of the supposed rules of this game, which he does not question. No, Lucas is out of the courtship game because of bigotry and hypocrisy. Lucas is single because people don’t act the way they’re supposed to.
He understands how people ought to act and behave. He knows how Christians should be Christian, he knows who’s a hypocrite, and he knows that he deserve access to poonaner.
Here, we find the intersection of Lucas’s social exclusion and his avowed politics. Lucas describes himself as a communist, a socialist, an anarcho communist, a liberal, an atheist, and these titles are as important to his identity as the courtship game. He’s adopted the language of the left, but his talking points are all his own. Lucas notices that there are certain judgments people on the left aren’t supposed to make: one shouldn’t declare someone criminal because they happen to be Black, for example, or as Lucas often says a “nigga.” Ever pious and right, “Isms” are bad, even if he doesn’t appreciate why. They are bad because they make him feel bad and keep him out of the courtship game.
And so a dynamic emerges. People judge Lucas’s value as a mate because he insists upon it and then call him “creep.” No value. He earnestly believes this is the equivalent of being called “nigger.” If the latter is wrong, so too much the former be. Therefore, people that judge Lucas are bigots. Bigotry is wrong and unpopular, so people should stop judging Lucas. He applies this attitude towards the other indica of his failure at life, and low status. Penniless and homeless? It shouldn’t matter to the people Lucas wants to fuck, because they’re left wing, and if they don’t want to fuck him, they’re not left wing. Either way, they’re fucked up, not Lucas. In this, we see that Lucas is constantly telling the world what it believes, and the judgments it is entitled to make about his demands for sex.
In Lucas’s strange, haunted world, other men have access to poonaner and won't share. Poonaner, to Lucas, is a resource that may be hoarded or distributed by men. Displays against other men, the war for poonaner, is the essence of the courtship game. He returns to the subject of men with multiple girlfriends constantly. They are greedy, and greed is wrong. The right thing would be to share baes. Or let him talk to the baes, alone. In other words, stop competing for the baes attention. Let the courtship game end, declare Lucas a winner. Lucas, vagina! His focus isn't on the baes, so much as his imagined rivals; and to Lucas, the world cannot be a fair place so long as he is excluded from the courtship game.
All of this makes Lucas very, very thirsty. Poonaner means more to him than it does to his supposed rivals. Lucas sees access to sex as a way to prove his worth. And considering that the world sees him as worthless and without status in so many respects, poonaner represents the complete vindication of everything about him. Poor, stupid, crazy, weak, unsuccessful, failure, ugly, oaf? Poonaner would answer "No! I'm plenty good."
Lucas encounters a further difficulty in the courtship game. He’s not trying to seduce women his own age. He wants teen dimes. He sees nothing wrong with pursuing 16 year old girls, and doesn’t appreciate that not only is this seen as socially inappropriate, its even more of a wild stretch for a man of his status to achieve this.
He protects himself by muttering “agephobia” and embracing communism, which to him means a world where his low status can’t be held against him in the courtship game.
If this story played out in privacy, it would be funny and sad but only appreciated by the few people who’ve physically crossed paths with Lucas Werner. This is a different kind of story, something about the signals that one male animal sends hoping to attract a mate. Lucas has broadcasted his mating call to thousands of people. His attempts to get a bae has been archived. Anyone with an internet connection has access to some of his life’s most embarrassing moments. Lucas never found his mate, but he reached a “rival” like me. And I am delighted to watch another male animal fail at mating. It satisfies the same crude impulse for sexual competition that drive’s Lucas to humiliate himself.
Sexual competition has darker dimensions that Lucas is quite familiar with. Sometimes men will assert their status, and dominance over other men, by sodomizing them. It is a dynamic most folks are familiar with, and the source of many a riotous prison rape joke. Sex isn't only about procreation, or pleasure, and the impulse to assert status over other men by balling all the baes isn't too far removed from asserting status by butt fucking an unhappy punk. In our next installment, we’ll consider Lucas’s attitude towards homosexuality, and how it is informed by his failures at the courtship game.
Some fortunate men find a balance between what they want and the way things are, or at least satisfy their desires every once in a while. Others, like Lucas, want it all and have none of it. Lucas is both hypersexual and sexless.
Sex to Lucas is fundamentally a competition with other men for access to very young women. Girls, really. He is remarkably obsessed with courtship, and operates on the level of a rutting male. Preoccupied with his rivals, and to a lesser extent, fertile young poonaner, Lucas is driven to demonstrate his suitability as a mate to “baes.” He freely confesses that the meaning of life is impregnating women, a sentiment he shares with most mammals, who unlike Lucas, can’t articulate it on IG and FB. It escapes him that other folks aren’t as consciously fixated on reproduction as he is.
Rutting primate that he is, human courtship is a bit complex for him. Lucas has a rudimentary sense of how other males go about it; he’s observed as much whilst enviously gnashing his false teeth. He knows that he is supposed to signal positive things to the ladies, and they are to be receptive, but the particulars escape him. More alarming, though, he has no positive qualities to show off.
For example, Lucas seems to realize that other rutting men often signal their ability to provide resources and status. This is how he sees the courtship game, the rules he follows. For example, he understands cars and credit cards as seduction displays, not conveniences, and assumes other men see them that way. This is a problem. He has no car, no credit card, none of the trappings of an independent adult life. The few resources Lucas has are provided for him by the state, in recognition of his abject incompetence. Or disability. Lucas has, by his own admission, not earned a day's wages since 1999.
Unsurprisingly, Lucas has precious little resources or status to display in the courtship game. Not only does he have nothing, he has done nothing, and it has always been so. He is a marginalized male, on the periphery of any social group his entire life. He's the chimp who got chased out of the troop. He's the one guy not invited to the party.
Whatever way the world evaluates male worth, Lucas will come up short. Economically, Lucas is a literal hobo on SSI. He has no independent access to resources. His poor mental and physical health set a low ceiling on his social status. He’ll never be praised for his wit or athleticism. Lucas is simply too weak, stupid and emotionally unsound to achieve anything suitable for a status display. His personality holds him back, too. To the extent that confidence and an appealing manner matter in courtship, Lucas is an off putting creep who does not understand the dynamics of socializing. While other men may get the attention of baes with charm or artistic and creative abilities, Lucas has none at his command. Finally, even if being a nice and moral guy is relevant to the courtship game, Lucas is a cruel, wretched asshole. Who ever got laid for having the proper opinions, too?
The result is hilarious, if bleak. While Lucas is obsessed with competing for baes in the courtship game, he isn't a participant; his total lack of status renders him a marginalized observer. Imagine him, on the sideline of a football game, confined to a wheel chair, screaming that somebody should hand him the ball, and you’ll get a sense of this dynamic. So he grits his teeth and growls about being a "third wheel," when he’s not even a wheel.
It must bother him that women don't see him as a potential sex partner, and that men don't see him as competition. He's intently injecting himself in a game he can't play. Lucas is socially excluded from it, literally howling "Where's the party at Z? Where are the women at?"
If Lucas doesn’t get to play the courtship game, the game must stop. Think of him as a little boy left out of tag, who demands that the game end. Rather than consider his shortcomings, or attempt to cultivate status and resources, Lucas attributes his difficulty in finding a bae to the wickedness of his fellow man. If Lucas is social excluded from the courtship game, it is not because of his individual qualities. He’s plenty good. And it’s not because of the supposed rules of this game, which he does not question. No, Lucas is out of the courtship game because of bigotry and hypocrisy. Lucas is single because people don’t act the way they’re supposed to.
He understands how people ought to act and behave. He knows how Christians should be Christian, he knows who’s a hypocrite, and he knows that he deserve access to poonaner.
Here, we find the intersection of Lucas’s social exclusion and his avowed politics. Lucas describes himself as a communist, a socialist, an anarcho communist, a liberal, an atheist, and these titles are as important to his identity as the courtship game. He’s adopted the language of the left, but his talking points are all his own. Lucas notices that there are certain judgments people on the left aren’t supposed to make: one shouldn’t declare someone criminal because they happen to be Black, for example, or as Lucas often says a “nigga.” Ever pious and right, “Isms” are bad, even if he doesn’t appreciate why. They are bad because they make him feel bad and keep him out of the courtship game.
And so a dynamic emerges. People judge Lucas’s value as a mate because he insists upon it and then call him “creep.” No value. He earnestly believes this is the equivalent of being called “nigger.” If the latter is wrong, so too much the former be. Therefore, people that judge Lucas are bigots. Bigotry is wrong and unpopular, so people should stop judging Lucas. He applies this attitude towards the other indica of his failure at life, and low status. Penniless and homeless? It shouldn’t matter to the people Lucas wants to fuck, because they’re left wing, and if they don’t want to fuck him, they’re not left wing. Either way, they’re fucked up, not Lucas. In this, we see that Lucas is constantly telling the world what it believes, and the judgments it is entitled to make about his demands for sex.
In Lucas’s strange, haunted world, other men have access to poonaner and won't share. Poonaner, to Lucas, is a resource that may be hoarded or distributed by men. Displays against other men, the war for poonaner, is the essence of the courtship game. He returns to the subject of men with multiple girlfriends constantly. They are greedy, and greed is wrong. The right thing would be to share baes. Or let him talk to the baes, alone. In other words, stop competing for the baes attention. Let the courtship game end, declare Lucas a winner. Lucas, vagina! His focus isn't on the baes, so much as his imagined rivals; and to Lucas, the world cannot be a fair place so long as he is excluded from the courtship game.
All of this makes Lucas very, very thirsty. Poonaner means more to him than it does to his supposed rivals. Lucas sees access to sex as a way to prove his worth. And considering that the world sees him as worthless and without status in so many respects, poonaner represents the complete vindication of everything about him. Poor, stupid, crazy, weak, unsuccessful, failure, ugly, oaf? Poonaner would answer "No! I'm plenty good."
Lucas encounters a further difficulty in the courtship game. He’s not trying to seduce women his own age. He wants teen dimes. He sees nothing wrong with pursuing 16 year old girls, and doesn’t appreciate that not only is this seen as socially inappropriate, its even more of a wild stretch for a man of his status to achieve this.
He protects himself by muttering “agephobia” and embracing communism, which to him means a world where his low status can’t be held against him in the courtship game.
If this story played out in privacy, it would be funny and sad but only appreciated by the few people who’ve physically crossed paths with Lucas Werner. This is a different kind of story, something about the signals that one male animal sends hoping to attract a mate. Lucas has broadcasted his mating call to thousands of people. His attempts to get a bae has been archived. Anyone with an internet connection has access to some of his life’s most embarrassing moments. Lucas never found his mate, but he reached a “rival” like me. And I am delighted to watch another male animal fail at mating. It satisfies the same crude impulse for sexual competition that drive’s Lucas to humiliate himself.
Sexual competition has darker dimensions that Lucas is quite familiar with. Sometimes men will assert their status, and dominance over other men, by sodomizing them. It is a dynamic most folks are familiar with, and the source of many a riotous prison rape joke. Sex isn't only about procreation, or pleasure, and the impulse to assert status over other men by balling all the baes isn't too far removed from asserting status by butt fucking an unhappy punk. In our next installment, we’ll consider Lucas’s attitude towards homosexuality, and how it is informed by his failures at the courtship game.
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2015
This is brilliant.
This is simply THE LAST WORD about Lucas Werner.
You've done it again, @wenttobermuda !
Lucas is endlessly repetitive, and @wenttobermuda has divined his life's essence fully, holistically, entirely.
By all rights, we should lock up the thread, end it here.
But we won't, because Lucas is so very much fun to laugh at.
Cheers to Senior Wernerologist @wenttobermuda !
There is no "rest of us" Lucas, it is just you the Spokane Pedo freak. You have excelled in letting everyone know you're a flaming insane predator, a danger to little girls, teens, and young women.
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2015
And of course Lucas proves @wenttobermuda right, to a T.
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2019
You have outdone yourself on this one, my friend!
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
....On that note, lucas's courtship ritual should be called the dance of the telomeres. after all, thats exactly what he was alluding to in the game he was claiming to be working on that was originally called that
It also makes it sound eerily like choreographed insect and mammal mating rituals, which seems strangely appropriate in lucas's case. He does after all believe that if you do things in a specific way it should automatically grant you a zoomer bae which is why he loses his shit when it doesn't work
In a weird way that almost makes him sound like some kind of spastic medieval alchemist trying to create the philosophers stone by following a specific magic formula and losing it when it doesn't happen. Perhaps lucas needs to add a little more red mercury to his formula
and if anything his reliance on known or established patterns and routines like that and flipping out whenever theres a deviation is one more sign strongly implying he's autistic
- Joined
- Feb 22, 2019
Well this dude's post makes it seem like he trying to barter for young "fertile" women, with promises of nobility, land and livestock. So maybe your on to something with the medieval mindset.
- Joined
- Sep 6, 2019
I like how he thinks "much better men" applies to him. He's literally the bottom of the barrel. He's pretty much on the, "not even if you were the last man on earth" level.
For the love of fuck Lucas, women are not into you. That's why you're single. It has nothing to do with other men. It's YOU. You're gross inside and out. You have nothing going for you. We women can see this and we are choosing to stay the hell away. We are NOT a commodity that is freely handed out or greedily hoarded by other men. We are people who can make our own choices and we have all made the choice to not date YOU.
- Joined
- Feb 22, 2019
He acts like women are property, and that his age is his only negative quality. He doesn't seem to understand that someone might not find his homelessness, overeating, misogyny, violent tendencies, his psychotic outbursts, his giddiness for his parents death, his clearly unwashed body, his habit for sleeping under bridges, his history of abuse, and his clear fixation on breeding and fisting, on social media, attractive.
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WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
You left the best one out: that his communism is based on wanting to 'abolish private property' because he views women as property and that abolishing it means men will have to share previously horded women with him
- Joined
- Feb 22, 2019
Everytime he insinuates that someone should "give him a girl" it feels genuinely gross. His sperging deserves to be archived, he's the closest we have to a living caveman
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- Joined
- Dec 1, 2019
Today's utter goddamned nonsense.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
So, goldy is still feeding lucas then. This time its kfc. Its obviously bait to get his cooperation but between the food and sending him the ds that kind of behavior can turn cowish pretty easily
That said, tomorrow is apparently the big day and lucas specifically said hes doing to address the supposed baseball bat incident. That should be quite interesting to say the least. I have a feeling that whatever explanation he gives is going to backfire before too long. All goldy has to do is ask him why there are no injuries to his head and if he went to the hospital and lucas's would be fucked for explanations. I'd love to see him get pushed for a hospital or police report about it
That said, tomorrow is apparently the big day and lucas specifically said hes doing to address the supposed baseball bat incident. That should be quite interesting to say the least. I have a feeling that whatever explanation he gives is going to backfire before too long. All goldy has to do is ask him why there are no injuries to his head and if he went to the hospital and lucas's would be fucked for explanations. I'd love to see him get pushed for a hospital or police report about it
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2018
I am hoping Goldork asks about the DS Lite and where it went? Tubby probably forgot it in a porta potty or some other hobo swiped it while Lucas wasn't looking. I have a feeling sooner or later these podcasts while send Lucas into a chimpout if he is asked something he does not like and that will be the end of that. I'm sure the assault story will change as much as the amount Lucas claims he will inherit from his parents.
Also, is Tubby registering for the fall quarter? No, not if he can't be on campus with the baby zooms. And even if he could he won't. I can't see him ever returning to school. I could be wrong, but I can't see him trying it again.
Also, is Tubby registering for the fall quarter? No, not if he can't be on campus with the baby zooms. And even if he could he won't. I can't see him ever returning to school. I could be wrong, but I can't see him trying it again.
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2019
Lucas isn’t just bottom of the barrel. He doesn’t deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence as barrels. Barrels actually have a useful purpose. Lucas has never been useful in his life, unless you count being used as fodder for our entertainment, which I don’t.
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2013
You all recall that Lucas Werner is alleged to have performed oral sex on a man named Jason Perva.
Anyone care to listen to the man who's dick Lucas has tasted rap?
Sadly he drops no bars about nutting in a hobo's jaw.
In an upcoming bit of long form Wernology, titled Lucas Werner is a Faggot, we will examine the Perva allegations, and Luca's relationship with homosexuality. Perva has not yet spoken about his cock in Luca's mouth, and his reluctance is understandable.
Will Lucas address this on Goldy's show?
Anyone care to listen to the man who's dick Lucas has tasted rap?
Sadly he drops no bars about nutting in a hobo's jaw.
In an upcoming bit of long form Wernology, titled Lucas Werner is a Faggot, we will examine the Perva allegations, and Luca's relationship with homosexuality. Perva has not yet spoken about his cock in Luca's mouth, and his reluctance is understandable.
Will Lucas address this on Goldy's show?
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2015
The podcast will be truly legendary, then. Baited breath. What else can we say?You all recall that Lucas Werner is alleged to have performed oral sex on a man named Jason Perva.
Anyone care to listen to the man who's dick Lucas has tasted rap?
Sadly he drops no bars about nutting in a hobo's jaw.
In an upcoming bit of long form Wernology, titled Lucas Werner is a Faggot, we will examine the Perva allegations, and Luca's relationship with homosexuality. Perva has not yet spoken about his cock in Luca's mouth, and his reluctance is understandable.
Will Lucas address this on Goldy's show?
Oh, and Lucas's nervous little pig eyes fear-darting from side to side in the midst of his ridiculous macho video rants is simply hysterical to me.
Yeah, I know he was yelling at buses, but he's generally so cowardly that he subjects no one to his guttural mating song other than the ground and the sky.
He's so scared of someone beating his ass.
And he should be.
He really should be.