Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[cigarettesalsa]

Goldoar is a fucking loser. The golden USB podcast isn't a real thing, it's a Skype call between Lucas Werner and some weird French Canadian kid. It doesn't exist without Lucas and it's hosted by a guy who can't even be sure he's recording or that he has it backed up in case his shitty internet goes out. He buys Lucas food two Red Robin burgers at a time. Goldoar spends money on Lucas Werner The Stalker of Spokane. What a pussy!

I've seen people say that Goldoar is doing this "for clout." What clout, we are the only people watching this. Is he going to transition his bag of diet coke funded Facebook call with Lucas into podcasting fame? YouTube glory? At best hell be featured in Lucas' true crime doc as the guy who bought Lucas chicken and told him he was on a podcast.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

If Goldoar keeps kissing up with paying for food/ sending gifts, he's going to end up looking like Lucas's bitch. Wouldn't doubt Lucas already thinks of Goldoar that way.

ETA:
The more bloated his head gets with each podcast, the more Lucas is going to take it out on the young people in Spokane.

I wonder if/when Lucas is going to get cocky/pushy with Goldie and demand his food pig up the offering and provide him a maiden sacrifice yeet him a fecund zoomer bae ?

 

[WonderWino]

Someone didn't learn anything from the Starbucks incident.

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Goldy sold him with a bag of soda. The audacity of this man...

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......he sent him a gallon of diet pepsi? jesus christ no bloody wonder he's blowing up like hermann goering while eating hobo shelter food. I've never even seen it sold in gallon sizes, let alone in bags. If he keeps eating like that he's going to end up on one of those my 600lb life type shows

Also did he drink almost an entire gallon of diet pepsi in one sitting?

Did he? Does the tin man have a sheet metal cock? He drank it and I wouldn't be surprised if he still wanted more afterwards. The only thing that surprises me is it was diet. He probably thinks its healthier for the beetus cause hes too stupid to realize it isn't

 

[mothman96]

I'm mostly curious as to when he'll realize he's been being completely fucked with the entire time but, then, those podcasts always sounded to me like really subtle making fun of him and him being too autistic or dim or whatever to realize it.

Also did he drink almost an entire gallon of diet pepsi in one sitting?

While yes it does look like Goldoar is using Lucas for clout and we've gotten some good info from a couple of podcasts, it also seems to me there is something else going on.
I saw this today on your channel. Yesterday when Goldoar posted this comment in response to Lucas saying "Goldoar will tear you a new one" it had his name on it. Strange that today his name is gone.

ETA:
Goldoar posted this just a bit ago:

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

.he sent him a gallon of diet pepsi? jesus chris no bloody wonder he's blowing up like hermann goering while eating hobo shelter food. I've never even seen it sold in gallon sizes,

The states have no chill when it comes to soda, the stuff is dirt cheap in some places. Lucas acts like he's a big shot cause someone offers him a commodity in exchange for answering questions. I have a policy of not spending any money to troll that pathetic rag man cause he's probably already wasted enough of the taxes I've paid, but it cracks me up that he can be bought with a few dollars worth of soda. I don't hold Goldork in particularly high regards, but I appreciate his unique contributions to the hilarious shit show that this is, tuning into fat boy's tard ventures.

Does the tin man have a sheet metal cock?

Appreciate the Trailer Park Boys reference, but I feel like Lucas is more of a Beavis and Butthead side character, eating nachos with them out of a trash can while he breaks down his pedo manifesto to them, but alas, even they have a better chance to score with hot zoomer babes than he.

 

[mothman96]

Friday and Saturday nights must really eat away at him, knowing young men and women will be having a good time at the various bars. Even if he decided to forgo checking into HOC for the night (again) he can only stalk from the outside since he's banned from the bars.

 

[A whole lotta nope]

If an old fat hobo approached me on the street and said, "it's baby time" I'd be 100% sure he intended to rape me and would not hesitate to unload my bear mace in his face.

Seriously! I'd pull out the pepper spray too. This is NOT how to approach women. Lucas, at 40 years old, still hasn't figured this shit out. He's legitimately stupid and has no clue how to function like a normal person.

 

[NattyDaddy]

Saturday nights must really eat away at him, knowing young men and women will be having a good time

These past three videos seem like a new stage in his rage against the flatbills. You can hear them in the background haunting his mind.

 

[Club Sandwich]

bear mace

bear mace is purposely formulated to repel bears and similar animals and has a significantly lessened effect on humans. it is also formulated to not "stick" and cause burning, instead being easier to spray at a distance and create a lingering "cloud" of particles rather than a oily, burning repellent. bear spray is inappropriate and less effective for personal less than lethal deterrence than purposely formulated MACE, pepper spray, or similar products.

He probably thinks its healthier for the beetus cause hes too stupid to realize it isn't

your own link demurs on a causal relationship between diet soda and obesity, but rather points out it isn't the soft drink that's the issue, but that people who regularly drink soft drinks of any kind, diet or not, are more prone to other poor food habits that can often indicate a propensity towards type 2 diabetes and other obesity related issues. the soft drink also, despite a lack of calories or sugar, still has various acids and other compounds which are not healthy.

i mean, how does a substance that has zero sugar and zero calories contribute directly to a disease that has the primary symptom of too high blood sugar caused by insulin resistance?

i'm actually somewhat surprised Lucas hasn't been more demanding of alcohol or accouterments of wealth to attract his desired targets - spa gift cards or gucci bags or LV purses, et c. at some point you figure he'd make the logical conclusion to do things that might genuinely attract someone, even if it avoids improving himself in any way.

 

[Wernology]

Listening to him reading that ad for the podcast that is clearly making fun of him is borderline surreal.

Oh god, the last two are him trying to fucking rap again.

 

[Twrx]

Listening to him reading that ad for the podcast that is clearly making fun of him is borderline surreal.

Oh god, the last two are him trying to fucking rap again.

Lucas talked about Allentown PA, how the hell does he know about it? I didn't know Allentown PA existed before I started dating my ex wife. Has Lucas actually been to the east coast?

 

[mothman96]

featuring a secret special guest

Is that statement from the ads Goldoar sent him? I don't remembering seeing that in the ads he showed.

And the freak doesn't feel any love in Spokane.

ETA:
Lucas's followup comment: He's in torment. Reaping what he sowed.

ETA2: More followup comments:

Fishing for a pity party.

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

Lucas talked about Allentown PA, how the hell does he know about it? I didn't know Allentown PA existed before I started dating my ex wife. Has Lucas actually been to the east coast?

He probably just heard the Billy Joel song and considers himself a expert on Allentown, PA now.

 

[wenttobermuda]

I wonder which one of you faggots is Goldy's secret guest?

Friday and Saturday nights must really eat away at him, knowing young men and women will be having a good time at the various bars. Even if he decided to forgo checking into HOC for the night (again) he can only stalk from the outside since he's banned from the bars.

I suspect you're right. And that says something about how envious Lucas is.

Lucas has always been excluded, shunned, pacing outside the party he's not welcome at. Nothing has changed since he was a 6 year old and the little girl he wanted to marry invited everyone but him to her party. I think it's kind of beautiful, and am grateful to Lucas's mother for posting this anecdote.

Envy is very important to Lucas's story, and on Friday and Saturday nights, his envy must peak. Lucas is keenly interested in what others are up to, being up to nothing himself, and the fear that more popular people in places he can't visit are enjoying the things he wants torments him.

The pain will never go away.

 

[Patchwork Ragdoll]

More comments I'm sure he'll delete.



Think of the children

 

[teleméres69]

I kinda want Goldaor to feed Lucas more purely so he can pass 300 pounds while still claiming he's only 230

If Goldoar keeps kissing up with paying for food/ sending gifts, he's going to end up looking like Lucas's bitch. Wouldn't doubt Lucas already thinks of Goldoar that way.

ETA:
The more bloated his head gets with each podcast, the more Lucas is going to take it out on the young people in Spokane.

It's funny because in a way Goldaor is actually contributing to slowly killing Lucas with all this unhealthy garbage and Lucas consumes it thinking it makes Goldaor his friend

......he sent him a gallon of diet pepsi? jesus christ no bloody wonder he's blowing up like hermann goering while eating hobo shelter food. I've never even seen it sold in gallon sizes, let alone in bags. If he keeps eating like that he's going to end up on one of those my 600lb life type shows



Did he? Does the tin man have a sheet metal cock? He drank it and I wouldn't be surprised if he still wanted more afterwards. The only thing that surprises me is it was diet. He probably thinks its healthier for the beetus cause hes too stupid to realize it isn't

 

[Patchwork Ragdoll]

I wonder if it's a morning ritual for him to wake up early, log on, and scour social media for negative comments about himself in an attempt to erase them. Because in Lucas's world it's easier to block people for saying "mean things" about him then it would be to improve himself even a tiny bit. He truly is the laziest person I've ever seen. This laziness ties in with his poor hygiene too. Even when he had access to a bathroom/shower, at his fart box, he rarely bathed himself. Why? Because he is too fucken lazy to even practice basic hygiene. I feel it's a failure on his parents part because these sort of habits/ routines should have been established with him when he was very young. It's kind of fucked up how badly they failed him, then turned their backs on him, but I'm sure they have their reasons. Makes me wonder what lucas did to have his family abandon him to the streets.

 

[mothman96]

What's not to get, Freak. You want your father's house, his property, and of course his "alleged" millions. You think getting yourself a wife is the ticket to getting back into your father's house. "Honeymoon" in your dad's spare room. Once in his house it'll be getting down to impregnating her. Yea sure, it's about King Roy deserving grandchildren. Children are your ticket to stay in your dad's house. He's not going to kick out his insane violent son if there is a baby/children in the picture. Now you figure your dad's wife/your stepmom is of no consequence since your child/children will give you the upper hand. If she leaves your dad because of the turmoil you cause, better for you. If she is still with him when your dad dies, you think because of your children, the house, part of his 12 acres (if not all), money will be left to you. He's not going to leave his grandchildren homeless - right.

 

[Fapcop]

28 fucking minutes that start with a slurred "IF UR MEAN TO ME MY SUGARDADDY FROM THE PODCAST WILL TEAR U A NEW ONE!" and ends with him red faced and spitting down onto his phone while he screams things like KENYA, then puts a mask on and IDK because I haven't actually watched it all yet, I like to be surprised.

I am, however, proud of the title and was also very tired of Lucas in general when I got to the point of picking a title.

Lolol! Lucas is such a dumbass and simpleton and really lives in a world of easily digestible cliches.

“Like if a gay men walked into the Republican convention”

I take it Werner never heard of log cabin Republicans or pro Trump gays?

Of course not.

He really believes in the good ol’ incel cliche about everyone who’s successful with women being an asshole who “won’t treat them right”. Or that the GOP conventions is all rednecks chewing tobacco.

Btw: He’s just too persistent with that “flatbill asshole who picked up three chicks” comment for it to be totally random.

I’ll bet you something like that really happened. As in: Lucas saw some guy get into a taxi with three girls he knew or were friends of his.

But in Werner’s retarded autist head, a guy sharing a cab with three women he knows, turned into: “Evil flatbill taking home three women to fuck in his mansion, leaving Licas with none to choose from.”

 

[Da Dude123]

Why does Lucas think these supposed leftist Gen Z girls would be interested in hunting elk?