Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Fapcop]

What's not to get, Freak. You want your father's house, his property, and of course his "alleged" millions. You think getting yourself a wife is the ticket to getting back into your father's house. "Honeymoon" in your dad's spare room. Once in his house it'll be getting down to impregnating her. Yea sure, it's about King Roy deserving grandchildren. Children are your ticket to stay in your dad's house. He's not going to kick out his insane violent son if there is a baby/children in the picture. Now you figure your dad's wife/your stepmom is of no consequence since your child/children will give you the upper hand. If she leaves your dad because of the tormoil you cause, better for you. If she is still with him when your dad dies, you think because of your children, the house, part of his 12 acres (if not all), money will be left to you. He's not going to leave his grandchildren homeless - right.
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It’s funny how Lucas is so much alike Chris Chan is some ways.

If he could get a roof over his head, Lucas could easily find some young import-wife who wouldn’t mind getting knocked up and being married for a few years, in return for a new life in the US. (Protip Lucas: Lebanon is full of young women desperate to leave the country.)


But nah... Just like Chris-Chan he prefers to write lazy ads online, and expect some young supermodel to show up and kindly ask him to fill her with his strong Wern-seed.

 

[Club Sandwich]

it's telling that he's seemingly given up on advertising himself (since that's a losing strategy and has been for years). he has in the past, but much more recently been advertising other people's success and assets, which isn't even spectacular or a guarantee that it'd be a dowry of some sort.

first it was political affiliation, then spiritual affiliation (lack of it to be precise), then socio-economic affiliation, academic nonsense to try and seem scholastically inclined, then his own "offerings" of welfare and handouts and a life of poverty, and now i guess he's advertising his family's ability to succeed at life. he's touched on his family's status as a "bonus" to attract a woman, so it's pretty clear he at least acknowledges that he's low on the totem and has nothing to personally offer, so can only promise some kind of nebulous benefit of land and property... and it isn't even his to offer!

he was offering elk hunting (or something, since i doubt Lucas knows anything about hunting or fishing or really any worthwhile skill) to the best man at his future wedding... an offer that isn't his to make. likewise he's offering property he doesn't own or have access to as the incentive itself. the mind boggles how this is meant to be anything more significant or realistic than "my dad works for nintendo".

If he could get a roof over his head, Lucas could easily find some young import-wife who wouldn’t mind getting knocked up and being married for a few years, in return for a new life in the US. (Protip Lucas: Lebanon is full of young women desperate to leave the country.)

he'd get murdered or turned around some enterprising woman's finger until she can safely escape his life of poverty and abuse. mail-order brides, like most people, aren't idiots, and are looking for a situation they can control, or can escape into for an advantage in life.

fun fact: depending on how such an arrangement turns out, one or both can be liable for human trafficking.

 

[mothman96]

SCC college girls, look at what's coming your way- the infamous Spokane Freak.

 

[Club Sandwich]

SCC college girls, look at what's coming your way- the infamous Spokane Freak.

unless college has grossly changed since i attended, there are no "gym" classes. there are sports health/fitness classes for sports medicine, various kinds of sports ranging from martial arts to team sports, and some stuff related to clubs like informal half marathons now and then and some olympic stuff like dead lifting.

what "gym" class would even be offered? how would a 300 lb fat boy stuffed in a 200 lb sack of sweaty hobo clothes survive even orientation and selection for a sport without his heart exploding? he's in poor shape by all measures.

he should stick to something he's actually capable of like literature. as crazy as he is, he is relatively fluent in english and could stand to find out how real people use the words he hears and fails to use properly.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

I'm impressed that someone can be as creepy as he manages to be without acting. He's like the creepy antagonist of a skit show with edgy humor but this is literally how he really is. Implying that he wants to go up to a woman in the streets and say "it's baby time" and then opening a creeper meme with "sit on my lap". He really is a ticking time bomb. He's gonna pull some shit like that to the wrong woman and get his teeth kicked down his throat. It's surprising it hasn't happened already, but I don't really buy that fat Albert beat down story either.

This is the second time he's said F's in the chat, he really is that person that just says shit without knowing what it means. He's the "Hello fellow kids" meme in the flesh.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

What's not to get, Freak. You want your father's house, his property, and of course his "alleged" millions. You think getting yourself a wife is the ticket to getting back into your father's house. "Honeymoon" in your dad's spare room. Once in his house it'll be getting down to impregnating her. Yea sure, it's about King Roy deserving grandchildren. Children are your ticket to stay in your dad's house. He's not going to kick out his insane violent son if there is a baby/children in the picture. Now you figure your dad's wife/your stepmom is of no consequence since your child/children will give you the upper hand. If she leaves your dad because of the turmoil you cause, better for you. If she is still with him when your dad dies, you think because of your children, the house, part of his 12 acres (if not all), money will be left to you. He's not going to leave his grandchildren homeless - right.
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Yeah, you know what else is like a walking supermarket?

An actual supermarket.

How in the name of all that is Holy do you expect to attract teenage girls by offering up Wild game hunting, Lucas?

The needs of teenagers are met by their parents. Teenagers in this country are not lacking for food.

Perhaps you could attract an Ethiopian teenager with your offer of fast food and elk hunting?

This may be your most tone-deaf strategy yet; I would say pull your head out of your ass, but I actually think if your head was in your ass, it would be closer to reality than where it actually is.

Edit:

Spokane Community College General #

(509) 533-7000

SCC Security #

(509) 533-8624

Let them know the pedofreak is asking young students to "sit on his lap".

I'm sure that'll go over real well in this post-"Me Too" generation.

Get him preemptively banned. Add another ban to the long, long list.

 

[mothman96]

Yup, that's why he lives in torment.

 

[TelemeresDaddy69]

I thought he already was banned, or there was some debate on whether the college would accept him back given his poor grades and creeper behavior

Yeah, you know what else is like a walking supermarket?

An actual supermarket.

How in the name of all that is Holy do you expect to attract teenage girls by offering up Wild game hunting, Lucas?

The needs of teenagers are met by their parents. Teenagers in this country are not lacking for food.

Perhaps you could attract an Ethiopian teenager with your offer of fast food and elk hunting?

This may be your most tone-deaf strategy yet; I would say pull your head out of your ass, but I actually think if your head was in your ass, it would be closer to reality than where it actually is.

Edit:

Spokane Community College General #

(509) 533-7000

SCC Security #

(509) 533-8624

Let them know the pedofreak is asking young students to "sit on his lap".

I'm sure that'll go over real well in this post-"Me Too" generation.

Get him preemptively banned. Add another ban to the long, long list.

Come now Lucas, even your own family doesn't love you. If they did they'd at least try to help with your homeless situation

Yup, that's why he lives in torment.

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[Fatal Walter]

#FlickTheBeanToWern, he says. Gross.

 

[Quiet Dignity]

Yup, that's why he lives in torment.

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#FlickTheBeanToWern. In the words of Anal Cunt, it just gets worse.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

Why does Lucas think these supposed leftist Gen Z girls would be interested in hunting elk?

Zoomer baes get wet knowing their future father-in-law have loads of cattle. I suppose the Sarah Palin types might, who Lucas would love to anally torture.

 

[mothman96]

I thought he already was banned, or there was some debate on whether the college would accept him back given his poor grades and creeper behavior


Come now Lucas, even your own family doesn't love you. If they did they'd at least try to help with your homeless situation

There was some discussion here from info that came via SOFALAW, that SCC was considering not allowing the Freak back in. We'll just have to wait and see what happens.

 

[Da Dude123]

I did a search of fitness classes for Spokane Community College and it appears they are all online. Furthermore, they appear to be in some sort of "ongoing community education" courses that do not have any credit given for them. So, Tubby, he would probably not qualify for student aid for these and would have to pay for them himself which would cause him to go reeee! Not that I believe he would actually sign up for and go to a fitness class. The people in it probably would be people around his own age and he would sulk off mooing cause there was no baby zooms in it.

https://scc.spokane.edu/Become-a-Student/Continuing-Education/ACT-2/Get-Fit

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

So, Lucas is doing something unheard of, and actually filming & posting footage of someone else, in this case his "buddy" Isaac, kind of interesting but Isaac doesn't seem that friendly to Lucas in either of these two videos.

There's something funny about Lucas's attitude towards Isaac too,;he's presenting Isaac to the world proudly the way he would with a girlfriend, his conversation towards Isaac seems nervous and forced, and prompts his friend to give him strange looks, not that there's not plenty of reasons to give Lucas strange looks all the time, but anyway.

Also: it appears the handsome Isaac who Lucas praises for his pulchritude is the Geico caveman, but those mad harmonica skills though! I kid I kid....

 

[WonderWino]

It’s funny how Lucas is so much alike Chris Chan is some ways.

If he could get a roof over his head, Lucas could easily find some young import-wife who wouldn’t mind getting knocked up and being married for a few years, in return for a new life in the US. (Protip Lucas: Lebanon is full of young women desperate to leave the country.)


But nah... Just like Chris-Chan he prefers to write lazy ads online, and expect some young supermodel to show up and kindly ask him to fill her with his strong Wern-seed.

I'm not so sure he'd have that easy of a time at it. There are desperate women out there sure but even they have some level of standards, at least in terms of common sense. They don't want to be stuck in some shit country like lebanon sure, but they also don't want to jump out of the frying pan and into the fire by some literal unstable insane mental patient who for all they know might pop off one day and try to strangle them for saying the wrong thing or for inevitably trying to divorce him

SCC college girls, look at what's coming your way- the infamous Spokane Freak.

Wait wait wait.....Lucas's latest plan is to sign up for a college gym class to find a woman? He sure didn't think that one through. Aside from the fact hes morbidly obese, can't even walk properly, gets winded from doing very basic shit and literally fell over and hurt his knee just from bending over......most gym classes are gender segregated specifically to prevent creeps like lucas from trying to pull something like that. Besides, does he really think some hot, fit college zoomer in a gym class is going to see his obese ass in barely fitting shorts and a tshirt and want to date him? Thats all kinds of absurdly stupid, even by lucas standards. Lucas is exactly the kind of creep women who take gym classes are afraid of running into and carrying pepper spray for. You look at a woman the wrong way in those types of classes and you're out on the spot in most places that have them, for safety reasons

Does the community college even have just a straight gym class you can take? I know i've never seen such a class at the college level. When I was in college they had a fully equipped gym but it was a shared one intended for different classes like the cop and security training programs and things of that nature, though anyone could use it when classes weren't in session. Besides with the coof still an issue all of that sort of class would be online wouldn't it?

Not to mention the fact he would even try that route strongly implies he's too stupid to do an actual college program, despite all his claims of being great at everything he did last time. He doesn't want to do the work

That said that isn't to say I wouldn't be amused by lucas signing up for such a program, only to get put into an all male class and have an instructor like the ex DI gym teacher I had in grade 8. Those classes were absolute hell. Though everybody was in damn good shape by the end of the year, even if we despised him every second of every class. I doubt lucas could handle a single pushup or a single lap without keeling over

I wonder what his next crackpot scheme is going to be. I've got it! a pizza delivery guy who delivers pizza only to zoomer bae's houses....on foot or by bus....only to end up eating part of the pizza before he gets it to them. Either that or setting up a shitty lemonade stand outside the shelter to sell to zoomer baes who drive by....cause who doesn't want questionable lemonade from 40 year old hobos outside of a homeless shelter? Its plenty good and loaded with telomerase

 

[mothman96]

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So, Lucas is doing something unheard of, and actually filming & posting footage of someone else, in this case his "buddy" Isaac, kind of interesting but Isaac doesn't seem that friendly to Lucas in either of these two videos.

There's something funny about Lucas's attitude towards Isaac too,;he's presenting Isaac to the world proudly the way he would with a girlfriend, his conversation towards Isaac seems nervous and forced, and prompts his friend to give him strange looks, not that there's not plenty of reasons to give Lucas strange looks all the time, but anyway.

Also: it appears the handsome Isaac who Lucas prays for his pulchritude is the Geico caveman, but those mad harmonica skills though! I kid I kid....

Yup, in the other video, his "buddy" Isaac brushed him off. The freak posted this picture, shaking/holding? Isaac's hand. Check out the look on Isaac's face. Not the look of someone that wants Lucas's company. And Lucas with his scrunched up face, like "take that haters". The other homeless just "tolerate" having Lucas around.

 

[teleméres69]

Isaac just looks like he tolerates Lucas for free weed, I'm still waiting for Lucas to slip and ask Isaac on video or on the podcast for numbers and to be awkwardly brushed off. Guy looks like an asshole, but I doubt even he's awful enough to subject his friends to a predator like Lucas. I like that a 40 year old man has only one irl friend, who just looks like the Lacie situation again, and he's young enough to be his son. Definitely doesn't add to the creeper factor

 

[mothman96]

This Isaac, is he the one Lucas has talked about that gets to bang different women every week? Of course to rutting animal brained Lucas, a guy just talking to/hanging out with a girl(s) means the guy is having sex with them. Lucas's sole interest in Isaac as a "bud" is for Isaac to yeet him a bae.

ETA:
Trucks really bother the freak.

 

[Wernology]

Lucas must have picked up a new word from Isaac , because now it's "extendo" teolomeres in his most recent memes.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Yup, in the other video, his "buddy" Isaac brushed him off. The freak posted this picture, shaking/holding? Isaac's hand. Check out the look on Isaac's face. Not the look of someone that wants Lucas's company. And Lucas with his scrunched up face, like "take that haters". The other homeless just "tolerate" having Lucas around.

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Totally agree; it looks like Lucas is building up a similar Dynamic towards Isaac that he originally had towards Cyril Lachel; in fact in one of his recent videos he chastised Isaac for not hooking him and other guys up with girls, because he said Isaac was afraid that if he gave Lucas phone numbers Lucas would take all the girls.

This is almost word for word exactly what Lucas wrote about Cyril Lachel in his infamous "it gets better" post.

Yeah, these pictures, videos, the hand-holding one in particular, it's very obviously Lucas is trying to refute Walter's claims of racism, and perhaps the recent discussion of his racism on the farms here.

It certainly doesn't help that Isaac looks thoroughly disgusted to be touched by Lucas, and Lucas has one of his insane, ass-clown, no teeth, bitter-beer-face grimaces.