- Joined
- Jan 2, 2017
Spokane is in for a really bitter cold winter this year, it's predicted. A bus ticket might save his life at this point, he's going to get kicked out of the warming stations too.
Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks
- Thread starter SpacePanther
- Start date
- Joined
- May 12, 2020
Is it me or is trying to rhyme half the time he's talking, like spoken word of the insane
Nobleman
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2019
Still nothing on Instagram? Anyone see him on Facebook? Wouldn't it be hilarious if when he fell asleep wherever he landed, someone swiped his phone and all his other shit again?
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2013
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2019
No no no Lucas.
Don’t get me wrong, I was filled with glee hearing you moo over this particularly spicy turn of events.
But this is too much too soon. We only just got you back and now you’re likely going to be incommunicado on account of not being able to charge your phone, or potentially losing it yet again.
Take it easy Lukey. We need to ration out your suffering. You may not have any self control, but the majority us Kiwis do. Think of the team.
Don’t get me wrong, I was filled with glee hearing you moo over this particularly spicy turn of events.
But this is too much too soon. We only just got you back and now you’re likely going to be incommunicado on account of not being able to charge your phone, or potentially losing it yet again.
Take it easy Lukey. We need to ration out your suffering. You may not have any self control, but the majority us Kiwis do. Think of the team.
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2018
Lucas talking about his approach to women, which he thinks is plenty good.
Also: I just saw the Biden Town Hall thing. And a young guy introduced himself as being a part of Gen Z. Of course, I thought of Lucas. This is one of those greedy men who hoard the women, according to Lucas.
Also: I just saw the Biden Town Hall thing. And a young guy introduced himself as being a part of Gen Z. Of course, I thought of Lucas. This is one of those greedy men who hoard the women, according to Lucas.
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- Joined
- Jan 27, 2020
I think in schizophrenics it's called clang associations and its a kind of word salad
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2018
Lucas talked about this approach to Goldaor during the interview, and roleplayed how it would work out.
After introductions, Lucas said he would just walk up and put his arms around the girl.
Goldaor then asked what would happen if she said "Uhhhh we just met, what are you doing, what the fuck."
Lucas then backpedaled, claiming "I don't believe in hypotheticals"
Basically revealing he thinks there's an instant and direct path from initial introduction -> unconditional love -> unprotected fucking, and if that doesn't work, something "wrong" happened in the chain that he can't even logically process.
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- Joined
- Nov 11, 2016
That's not a great approach but it's a hell of a lot better than talking about your sperm and how juicy her young ovaries must be. IRL Lucas could take some lessons from the occasional 'sage' FB Lucas.
Best thing about masks and Lucas is that occasionally I don't have to see him spit all over the camera during one of his tard-rages. Can you imagine being some other bum who is trying to jerk off or sleep in peace and the guy ten feet away in the park starts screaming about bernie sanders cockblocking him?
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2019
The funniest part is that screenshot is a perfectly normal, if a bit cheesy, way to try and pick someone up but it's not inherently creepy (though let's be honest, even, "Hi, I'm Lucas" and stopping there would be creepy coming from Lucas) and yet every single time he whines about having been cockblocked it's never how he introduces himself.
He always opens with the info dumping about magic sperm, telomeres, and wanting to put a baby in her before he even says his name let alone knows hers then gets baffled as to why he gets "cockblocked" by literally anyone who can see or hear what the hell is happening steps in and gets the poor woman he trapped away from him.
The colossal dumbass never uses his own Patented Will Give Even Men Boners So I Have To Close My Eyes So You Can't Look Deeply Into Them, "Hi, I'm Lucas" line that's guaranteed to get him laid, if only it weren't for the ability of cockblockers to materialize out of thin air and thwart him once again and it was probably them who caused, "Hi, I'm Lucas" in his brain to come out of his mouth as a manic paced rambling about his magic sperm and desire to put a baby in her.
- Joined
- Sep 6, 2019
Christ, he really has zero clue. Many women, including myself, are just going to go into defense mode and push him away, elbow him, etc. You don't hug a woman you just met you fuckin' lunatic!
You also don't go up and start a conversation about your sperm and breeding. I feel bad for the girl he was talking to at HOC. Clearly she must have looked incredibly uncomfortable for the security guard to intervene. She then had to witness his chimp out at the guard.
It's often been speculated here that Lucas may be on the autism spectrum. It explains his complete lack of understanding when it comes to social interaction. Most autistic people can be taught how to understand social cues, and how to have pleasant social interactions, but not Lucas. Lucas is beyond help in every way.
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2020
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
This has always been the expression i've expected to see on lucas's face when he is leering creepily at little girls
You certainly nailed him in that video. If he sees that hes going to lose his shit and screech like you're walter fate 2.0
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2019
Here's an archive. Now do one with his part of the dialogue replaced with insane ramblings about yeeting baes, telomeres, and cock-blockers please.
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2019
You sir, have just gone massively up in my book.
I have to say, I was wrong about you, Goldaor.
- Joined
- Sep 13, 2020
they dont need to actually go to the bait house to get arrested. its just preferable that they do because its an extra charge
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2020
Anime adaption of the Golden USB episodes when?
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2017
I’d do some animatics of the transcripts from the show. But only if people yeeted me a bae’s worth of actual money. No way would I listen to Lucas over and over for free. My ovaries can only cringe so hard before they explode in self-defence.
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2019
Just remember, he's given us an insider video on how to bag a bae every single time, as long as you're over 35. If you're under 35 it'll fail and, in the voice of a really old Adam Sandler routine: THEY'RE ALL GONNA LAUGH AT YOU.
Careful though, this is the video where, if you're a guy, you'll also get super turned on so try not to look him directly in the face while watching the video.
- Joined
- Apr 10, 2018
What Lucas doesn't - and will never - understand that it has nothing to do with being classist or ableist or a liberal or whatever.
It's the fact that within the first several minutes (I'd wager even seconds) of meeting a woman, he talks about making babies and the potential of his seed. Not only that, but a clearly deranged, homeless, foul smelling hobo is saying it. Personally, if a man, no matter how attractive, rich or connected came up to me and the first thing he spoke to me about was making babies, I'd have no interest.
It's fucking creepy. Honestly, to a 18-24 year old, it's probably terrifying.
Most women do not like to approached solely for the purpose of making babies. We are not livestock, where you pick the best physical specimen in hopes of foaling superior off-spring. We are not thoroughbreds.
At least Chris' attraction sign was passive, you know? Yeah, it was weird & made you feel uncomfortable, but you could ignore it, walk by, don't make eye contact. With Lucas, I'd imagine it's like being backed into a corner & he puts his hands up on either side of you to block your escape.
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