Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[mothman96]

I get what you mean but then I think he would threaten to leave if I wouldn't kick him out the call

In other words-- he's the one pulling the strings.

 

[Fiveseven15]

I don't have a car, we drive a tandem bike

he doesnt know that

 

[Wernology]

In other words-- he's the one pulling the strings.

I'd kind of like to see what would happen if @The Golden USB Show pushed back with something like, "This is my podcast, you're the GUEST, you don't get to determine who my other guests are." and imply or outright just tell him he's not as important as he thinks and you have no trouble pulling the plug and taking his bragging rights to, I'm On A pOdCaSt away without a word.

 

[ThomasAudley]

I'm pretty stoked no matter what happens, this is like the Superbowl of Wernology here. Many times he just does stupid shit that we laugh at after the fact, but there's real anticipation building with this one. Rage quitting is fully expected, but it'd be great if you could get him to have an epiphany about how much he sucks or, alternatively, break down crying.

ETA: I think it'd be funny if there was an open call in line for the podcast and we could just all abuse Lucas and he'd be promised some sum of money or unlimited chicken fingers if he tolerates ALL of it, but if he rage quits during it then he gets nothing.

 

[teleméres69]

What a shocker, Lucas is a fat greedy slob who thinks Goldaor is his bitch. I hope you give him some really nasty cheap shit to eat that doesn't do his diabetes any favors. He's like a homeless pedo version of MovieBob. You can really see how manipulative and one-sided his relationship with Suzanne was with these kind of interactions. I wonder what he'll do when he finally realises you despise him and Isaac doesn't like him either

If you ever change your mind, for a "small" price, that I'm willing to pay as Klickitat convinced me it would be worth it, he said he is would do it! His one rule would be no rage quit allowed.

If Walter Fate really tears into Lucas and has links/screenshots with urls ready he might manage a Boogie2988 situation with Lucas. Just don't hold back since this is the finale of the Golden USB, at least with Lucas, he's already gonna make a video about Walter on Instagram

I'm pretty stoked no matter what happens, this is like the Superbowl of Wernology here. Many times he just does stupid shit that we laugh at after the fact, but there's real anticipation building with this one. Rage quitting is fully expected, but it'd be great if you could get him to have an epiphany about how much he sucks or, alternatively, break down crying.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

In other words-- he's the one pulling the strings.

This is exactly the kind of s*** I was talking about. You're letting him dictate the terms. Who Is He To tell you the amount quantities and specify what food that you're buying him, like he's doing you a favor?

This guarantees that the interview is going to be like the last one where he sounded so totally unconcerned with your opinion about everything, and it was like you were begging him for answers, in between his blur of repeated nonsense.

I guess you and I are different, but if I was going to do this at all, which I wouldn't, I would wait till he ran out of money, got hungry and came to me begging for food.

If your attitude is: " I have to give him what he wants, or else he won't do the interview", then Lucas really is playing you.

 

[Krathnami]

Maybe I’m just old fashioned but if Lucas is going to demand all that food (which can’t be cheap) how about a fucking “please” or “thank you”? Fat entitled shit should be a little bit more gracious considering his dwindling options for feeding his food addiction.

 

[Wernology]

Not much content today, but he's been applying for jobs (and seems confused that he needs a resume) and is looking for a roommate!

Bonus of him making up a philosophy that makes no sense, Isaac sounding annoyed off camera, and Lucas still not knowing how to talk without his mask riding up toward his eyes or down below his nose.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

"Have Simp to the Hoes"

Also wtf is Endism? I want to know more about Issac's suicide cult.

 

[Club Sandwich]

If you ever change your mind, for a "small" price, that I'm willing to pay as Klickitat convinced me it would be worth it, he said he would do it! His one rule would be no rage quit allowed.

small price nothing, that's a meal for a family of 6 or more. consider that the healthy, active, adult human male would consider a "dinner" portion to be around 800ish kilocalories, fully a third of a daily food intake, this would consist of:

• a small coke (about 180 kcals)
• 4 chicken fingers (assuming he means white breast meat, dredged, battered, fried in oil, spiced) for 100 kcals each or 400 kcals total)
• a side of mashed potatoes and gravy (invidual portions of maybe 100 kcals)
• plus ranch dipping sauce (about 100 kcals per serving)

and you have a dinner portion of fast food (KFC or something) for one guy who is reasonably active and fit.

he's literally ordering something like 4700 kcals of food (24 fingers, presumably 2 liters of coke, 6 portions of dipping sauce for the fingers, 2 portions of coleslaw (salad and lots of mayo basically), and a portion of mashed potatoes and gravy). this is nearly double the food intake for two days for an active adult male. and this is one meal? no wonder he's a ham planet. the way he rattles it off in text makes me think this is a regular thing too, which is both disgusting and horrifying.

maybe he's buying off his hobo buddies with a meal ticket or something, i mean that's actually something reasonable if he's going for the angle of "if i buy you things you'll give me zoomer babes" that he's been known to do. i would've figured cheap vodka or something would be a cheaper/surer bet.

Not much content today, but he's been applying for jobs (and seems confused that he needs a resume) and is looking for a roommate!

Bonus of him making up a philosophy that makes no sense, Isaac sounding annoyed off camera, and Lucas still not knowing how to talk without his mask riding up toward his eyes or down below his nose.

if he's going through the motions to try and secure work, i can't knock him for that. however he would need to seriously consider his situation of being a homeless, useless fatbody and find something he can actually do that he has a reasonable shot at getting a job for. i won't reiterate the point about Lucas having zeroing skills beyond simple physical labor (being a warm body to push register buttons, stock shelves, clean floors, haul boxes, et c), but there also more undefined skills like getting to work on time and being ready to work (clean and prepared, et c), working safely, managing time and resources effectively, showing some initiative in accomplishing tasks and recognizing business goals and helping to work towards them, et c.

he has none of those soft skills either, or they've been grossly atrophied from lack of use. some guy that has to get back into the workforce because his retirement's run out or something at least knows enough on how to keep and maintain a minimum wage job, and in the past, Lucas showed he could sort of do that. but in a competitive environment, especially when a lot of places are closed or shutdown, people in Lucas' position will have a large amount of competition to get back into the work force.

like, what could Lucas realistically do to earn an honest paycheck with his current position in life?

 

[Krathnami]

if he's going through the motions to try and secure work, i can't knock him for that. however he would need to seriously consider his situation of being a homeless, useless fatbody and find something he can actually do that he has a reasonable shot at getting a job for. i won't reiterate the point about Lucas having zeroing skills beyond simple physical labor (being a warm body to push register buttons, stock shelves, clean floors, haul boxes, et c), but there also more undefined skills like getting to work on time and being ready to work (clean and prepared, et c), working safely, managing time and resources effectively, showing some initiative in accomplishing tasks and recognizing business goals and helping to work towards them, et c.

he has none of those soft skills either, or they've been grossly atrophied from lack of use. some guy that has to get back into the workforce because his retirement's run out or something at least knows enough on how to keep and maintain a minimum wage job, and in the past, Lucas showed he could sort of do that. but in a competitive environment, especially when a lot of places are closed or shutdown, people in Lucas' position will have a large amount of competition to get back into the work force.

like, what could Lucas realistically do to earn an honest paycheck with his current position in life?

Let us not forget that Lucas can’t even do the bare minimum to have a bed in a low threshold homeless shelter. Forget showing up to work on time or basic competency skills. Lucas can’t stop being a nutcase for the sake of self-preservation, much less finding and maintaing employment.

On another note, Lucas is incredibly fucked. I don’t think the reality has dawned on him yet, but his fartbox at Pioneer Pathway House was the best thing to happen in his life in the last decade and he pissed it away because he couldn’t stop being a nutcase.

 

[Free the Pedos]

small price nothing, that's a meal for a family of 6 or more. consider that the healthy, active, adult human male would consider a "dinner" portion to be around 800ish kilocalories, fully half of a daily food intake, this would consist of:

• a small coke (about 180 kcals)
• 4 chicken fingers (assuming he means white breast meat, dredged, battered, fried in oil, spiced) for 100 kcals each or 400 kcals total)
• a side of mashed potatoes and gravy (invidual portions of maybe 100 kcals)
• plus ranch dipping sauce (about 100 kcals per serving)

and you have a dinner portion of fast food (KFC or something) for one guy who is reasonably active and fit.

he's literally ordering something like 4700 kcals of food (24 fingers, presumably 2 liters of coke, 6 portions of dipping sauce for the fingers, 2 portions of coleslaw (salad and lots of mayo basically), and a portion of mashed potatoes and gravy). this is nearly double the food intake for two days for an active adult male. and this is one meal? no wonder he's a ham planet. the way he rattles it off in text makes me think this is a regular thing too, which is both disgusting and horrifying.

maybe he's buying off his hobo buddies with a meal ticket or something, i mean that's actually something reasonable if he's going for the angle of "if i buy you things you'll give me zoomer babes" that he's been known to do. i would've figured cheap vodka or something would be a cheaper/surer bet.



if he's going through the motions to try and secure work, i can't knock him for that. however he would need to seriously consider his situation of being a homeless, useless fatbody and find something he can actually do that he has a reasonable shot at getting a job for. i won't reiterate the point about Lucas having zeroing skills beyond simple physical labor (being a warm body to push register buttons, stock shelves, clean floors, haul boxes, et c), but there also more undefined skills like getting to work on time and being ready to work (clean and prepared, et c), working safely, managing time and resources effectively, showing some initiative in accomplishing tasks and recognizing business goals and helping to work towards them, et c.

he has none of those soft skills either, or they've been grossly atrophied from lack of use. some guy that has to get back into the workforce because his retirement's run out or something at least knows enough on how to keep and maintain a minimum wage job, and in the past, Lucas showed he could sort of do that. but in a competitive environment, especially when a lot of places are closed or shutdown, people in Lucas' position will have a large amount of competition to get back into the work force.

like, what could Lucas realistically do to earn an honest paycheck with his current position in life?

If he could control his rage and desire to sexually harass women I could maybe see him doing manual labor away from the public, but I think he’s too far gone for that. I doubt he’s be able to get through one shift without flying off the handle as he does these days, or “introducing himself” to a female coworker.

 

[Particle Bored]

"Have Simp to the Hoes"

Also wtf is Endism? I want to know more about Issac's suicide cult.

@The Golden USB Show, we want to hear about Endism from the Prophet Isaac's own blessed lips for like 15 seconds then get him to shit talk Lucas

Not sure how many tendies that will run you, though.

 

[Apteryx Owenii]

If Lucas can somehow get a PhD in 'age gap breeding'. Than I'm sure most of us could get a PhD in Wernology.

I wouldn't be surprised if Lucas were to go the Dr Robert McKim Sr. route and find a way to mail-order a PhD. He's stupid enough to not understand that it's worthless, arrogant enough to think he's deserving of it and self-absorbed enough to go around calling himself 'doctor.'

I don't think any shelters that he's still allowed in will let him hang up his 'degree' though.

 

[WonderWino]

You wouldn't even have to be there, all Goldaor would have to say is, "The surprise guest is Walter Fate!" then just stop talking and Lucas would go into an uninterrupted meltdown for probably a good 20 minutes.

Longer if you were there long enough to just say, "Hi Lucas" and nothing else.

The weirder alternative is he'd get all meek like he did when that cop kicked him out of the park because he really does pussy out pretty fast when there's any real confrontation that he doesn't believe he can 'win'.

Edit: More creepiness from his Facebook. As before, I think all of these are set to friends only, so if he's not got you friended, the links won't work.


In 2013, we see where Lucas got the "women are attracted to cars and money" thing. ]https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10200873302487167


If you're a young, pretty girl in his apartment you are automatically his girlfriend because the "payer of the rent has commanded it": https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10202175153832637

Makes me wonder how many of the girls he babysat were molested with things like, "You fall in love with these kids.": https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10203636319520866

Remember the old rumor that Lucas was into feet? Here it is from the horse's mouth; comments were on a post about one of his PoF profiles: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10203384056974460

The alleged 17 year old "fallen angel" apparently blocked him when she realized he was creeping on her: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10204239422038052


Still doing the Virtuous Non-Offending Pedophile thing: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10203460333441324

"If you don't pay attention to me and only me 24/7/365 I have a short fuse." That's not a red flag or anything. Christ, he sounds like a dog with separation anxiety if it were somehow able to use Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10203452702050544

But, he's not racist: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10204094741701134


If this isn't proof that some sort of higher power exists, I don't know what is: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10203252370722386


I'm sure the 16 year olds were all just lining up to sex him up on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10203505566252116

The one and only time I'll agree with Lucas. He doesn't deserve hotties (young or otherwise): https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=10205998869743145&set=a.10202947112891131


He's totally not transphobic either: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10206378607516352


I don't think lesbians are dating any sort of guys, Lucas... https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10206594358229985


Offering to trade Adderall for pussy: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10206386296748578


Yeah, it's a total mystery, dude...: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10205059692744307


Telling him that not taking no for an answer sounds "rapey" makes him feel threatened: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10209621999839133

He designed a warp communicator but the only proof is an equation (that's probably wrong) and a...shirt.: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10207846190205002


Remember how lately he's been saying he never had MRSA?: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10207308615325966

Ladies, he has a mat to sleep on, has been wearing the same clothes (underwear included) for a solid week, showers 'when he can' AND MRSA: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10207448499702988


Lucas' rent history in the comments is comedy gold: https://www.facebook.com/olympiaatheist/posts/10206393396926078


With that I'm Lucas'd out. His older Facebook posts are kind of exhausting to read. If whatever the upcoming episode of the podcast is is the last one I'm really hoping he gets dragged all over creation for all of these and the last batch because he is a genuinely terrible person (preaching to the choir there) and I'd love to see him try to justify it or just rage quit then meltdown on Instagram about it.

Anyway, more proof of being a creep, offering controlled substance RX meds in exchange for sex, proof he has MRSA despite his denials and his "I've never said I had MRSA" nonsense, and a few that were just funny, like the warp communicator, his rent history, and telling lesbians to stop dating guys.

Did anyone catch in that 'rent' image that he first claims he 'couldn't afford a bed' then shortly after rants about how he 'loaned' his bed to some christians who 'fucked on it all the time.' He can't even get through a single post without lying. Not to mention its pretty telling that he admits perva called him a 'rapey pedophile' and 'in his mind' tried to get him to break the law by trying to get with underage girls. Total projection of his own intent and fear of getting caught

and holy shit ranting about that 17 year old the way he did he's lucky he didn't get in some shit from her father. The creepy obsessive behavior is off the charts in that post. Same with that horrifying babysitting rant. Lucas is the living example of why parents are wary of having male babysitters for their kids

If you ever change your mind, for a "small" price, that I'm willing to pay as Klickitat convinced me it would be worth it, he said he would do it! His one rule would be no rage quit allowed.

24 chicken fingers, ranch dressing, 2 coleslaw, mashed potatoes, gravy and 2 pops. Jesus christ no wonder hes so obese. The only thing that surprises me out of that is wanted coleslaw, let alone 2 of them. I have never in my entire life seen anyone actually eat kfc coleslaw, its disgusting. But at least he (surprisingly) isn't demanding a bucket. Probably a good thing, that shits gotten so expensive since the 90s I don't know how anyone bothers when its cheaper to buy several whole chickens and fry them at home

Lol "chicken fingers." He really did fall out of a Trailer Park Boys episode.

So I wasn't the only one thinking that. The parallels to lucas are getting concerning

I honest to fucking god love the fact that Lucas thinks @Fatal Walter 's time is worth 24 chicken fingers, ranch dressing (unspecified amount), 2 coleslaw portions of unspecified size, "mashed taters 'n' gravy" in an unspecified amount, and "2 pops"...probably gallon sized.

Dude, get portion sizes for the unspecified ones or he's probably going to come back all, "I need five pounds of mashed taters and two gallons of gravy, as well as an institutional sized tub of ranch with a straw!"

Its obvious what lucas really wants out of the deal:

I'd kind of like to see what would happen if @The Golden USB Show pushed back with something like, "This is my podcast, you're the GUEST, you don't get to determine who my other guests are." and imply or outright just tell him he's not as important as he thinks and you have no trouble pulling the plug and taking his bragging rights to, I'm On A pOdCaSt away without a word.

He'd go full cartman - 'screw you guys i'm going home!'

I wonder what he'll do when he finally realises you despise him and Isaac doesn't like him either

Speaking of isaac, did anyone catch him telling lucas to 'shut the fuck up' in the last clip?

This is exactly the kind of s*** I was talking about. You're letting him dictate the terms. Who Is He To tell you the amount quantities and specify what food that you're buying him, like he's doing you a favor?

This guarantees that the interview is going to be like the last one where he sounded so totally unconcerned with your opinion about everything, and it was like you were begging him for answers, in between his blur of repeated nonsense.

I guess you and I are different, but if I was going to do this at all, which I wouldn't, I would wait till he ran out of money, got hungry and came to me begging for food.

If your attitude is: " I have to give him what he wants, or else he won't do the interview", then Lucas really is playing you.

Well said. Its lucas being manipulative and playing him, he only does it to get what he wants and to only talk about what he wants to. The exact opposite of how such things are supposed to work

 

[cuddle striker]

For non-Spokanites, this map by @Trainwreck shows how Lucas is so very special. He is banned from Riverfront Park, he is banned from Auntie's Bookstore (east of the highlighted Bennett Bloc building), banned from the downtown Starbucks (he is lying, he knows he is still banned from there), banned from the Red Robin (this was a rumor but would not be surprised), banned from the INB (it is considered part of Riverfront Park). You guys probably remember how he always wants to take a woman to Sushi.com which you can see, so we will see when they ban him.

Edit: And you can see the PF Chang's where he goes to spend his measly 25 dollar birthday gift cards at....alone.

Edit: I think this map is great because you can see the Starbucks where the story of the Wern began...

View attachment 1646086

He's also banned from several restaurants and two coffee shops in Kendall Yards, the corner store by the courthouse on Monroe, and a bar on Monroe I can't remember the name of. This according to a local who works at the courthouse.

That area is right by the river. He's very well known locally, the hospitals are aware of him from my personal knowledge. A frequent flyer.

 

[mothman96]

He's also banned from several restaurants and two coffee shops in Kendall Yards, the corner store by the courthouse on Monroe, and a bar on Monroe I can't remember the name of. This according to a local who works at the courthouse.

That area is right by the river. He's very well known locally, the hospitals are aware of him from my personal knowledge. A frequent flyer.

According to the Freak, he's been banned from all the bars in Spokane.

 

[Sm0kINHaZefEEliNBlaZEd]

Not much content today, but he's been applying for jobs (and seems confused that he needs a resume) and is looking for a roommate!

Bonus of him making up a philosophy that makes no sense, Isaac sounding annoyed off camera, and Lucas still not knowing how to talk without his mask riding up toward his eyes or down below his nose.

He seems medicated here. Either copious amounts of weed, his real meds or a combination of both. I wonder how much longer until he's tard raging into phone.

 

[Wernology]

Not much content today, but he's been applying for jobs (and seems confused that he needs a resume) and is looking for a roommate!

Did anyone catch in that 'rent' image that he first claims he 'couldn't afford a bed' then shortly after rants about how he 'loaned' his bed to some christians who 'fucked on it all the time.' He can't even get through a single post without lying. Not to mention its pretty telling that he admits perva called him a 'rapey pedophile' and 'in his mind' tried to get him to break the law by trying to get with underage girls. Total projection of his own intent and fear of getting caught

and holy shit ranting about that 17 year old the way he did he's lucky he didn't get in some shit from her father. The creepy obsessive behavior is off the charts in that post. Same with that horrifying babysitting rant. Lucas is the living example of why parents are wary of having male babysitters for their kids



24 chicken fingers, ranch dressing, 2 coleslaw, mashed potatoes, gravy and 2 pops. Jesus christ no wonder hes so obese. The only thing that surprises me out of that is wanted coleslaw, let alone 2 of them. I have never in my entire life seen anyone actually eat kfc coleslaw, its disgusting. But at least he (surprisingly) isn't demanding a bucket. Probably a good thing, that shits gotten so expensive since the 90s I don't know how anyone bothers when its cheaper to buy several whole chickens and fry them at home



So I wasn't the only one thinking that. The parallels to lucas are getting concerning

Its obvious what lucas really wants out of the deal:

He'd go full cartman - 'screw you guys i'm going home!'



Speaking of isaac, did anyone catch him telling lucas to 'shut the fuck up' in the last clip?



Well said. Its lucas being manipulative and playing him, he only does it to get what he wants and to only talk about what he wants to. The exact opposite of how such things are supposed to work

I'd love to see him go the Cartman route then try to start his own podcast, mostly because he'd probably rage somewhere about how he couldn't figure out how to get Facebook lives or IG lives to work.

Pretty sure he lost upload access to his youtube accounts or forgot the passwords.

 

[one_time_user]

The only way for a guy like him (old, no job history, homeless) to get a job is to sign on wall of the day labor agencies like Peopleready and get sent on daily assignments hoping to get asked back to the same job repeatedly and get hired directly. That's it, except for possibly a dish washing position in the worst restaurants.