Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[WonderWino]

Getting bitched around by a 20 year old kid and his 17 year old brother is so pathetic. Lucas is old enough to be their fathers.

Indeed. If lucas is so incompetent he can be ripped off multiple times without apparently realizing it by a 20 year old hobo and his dumbass 17 year old brother it really has to make you wonder what would happen to him in a major city like LA or NY, with the hardcore predatory hobos. He'd likely end up robbed blind and left hanging from a tree in the woods after being used as a living pinata for their entertainment within a week

My Spokane pal just texted me:
"Werner watch 2020: I've spotted the elusive creature outside the plaza, scribing what I can only imagine is another gibberish note"

So I guess he did lose his phone again. HOW?

At this point we should start considering making a lucas based wheres waldo game for his phone. Even by crackhead idiot hobo standards lucas is failing at being a hobo.

I mean really, back when I was in high school even the dumbass rich 16 year old cheerleaders who dropped their phones ten times a day didn't go through them as fast as lucas does

1. He doesn't care what he wears, never has. At the Salvation Army, or whatever Spokane thrift store he patronized, he seemingly goes by size alone, not color, pattern, or material. Certainly not anything approaching a "style".

In that case I wonder if this comes in lucas's size

I'm sure it would draw in all the zoomer baes that say nigga all the time

He used rope as a belt.

Simpsons predicted this. He went full jimbo

These are all things Lucas could do, rather than rationalizing his gorging as some way to show off to women that he has a discriminating palate.

Which is all the more horrifying when you consider the fact this is the same guy who puts pepper on caviar and who drinks peanut sauce out of the bottle

2. He didnt seem all that bothered to lose all his overpriced board games when he got booted from his apartment for attempting to narc his way into Poonaner, and this despite him bragging repeatedly on the size and value of his "collection".

I suspect there are two main reasons for that. The first being that he never cared about them at all. After all he never played with them, he only 'studied' them and used them as bait for women. The second being that lucas has, aside from a brief period working at mcdonalds back in the day, never earned his own money, doesn't really understand the value of it and therefore does not value it himself, nor does he value what he gets with it. In his mind its always something hes simply entitled to and if something happens to it, well fuck it, he'll just get more when he gets his next government payout. Like many people, especially children, lucas doesn't value it because he never earned it himself

3. He clearly never valued the DS. Did we ever find out what happened to it?

Not that I know of, I believe goldy brought it up a couple of podcasts ago and lucas evaded the question. Either it got stolen, traded for something or he broke it in a fit of rage because he is too stupid to figure out how to play a simple game

4. The phone thing is NUTS. Given the demographic he's attempting to "woo" a phone is an absolute necessity. And yet....he loses the things like that extra sock in the wash.

Its an absolute necessity for him even ignoring his target demographic. Its literally his lifeline to everything. His only source of communication and internet access. Without one, just doing basic things he needs to do is considerably more difficult. He acts like its not an issue at all

All these together tell me that Lucas is getting definitely WORSE. More manic, more repetitive, more absent-minded.

Definitely. It doesn't look good for his mental health to be unconcerned with even the most basic things he should be concerned about, and even things that other crazy hobos would be concerned about. The only two groups of people who do stuff like that are legit crazy people who genuinely don't understand how stupid they are and dementia patients who have lost the capacity to understand that stuff. Lucas is obviously the former, though with the meds he has been on over the years I wouldn't be surprised to see him develop any number of degenerative brain diseases, if he even lives long enough to

A few years ago, when Lucas still had an apartment, the idea of him going raving and yelling into the street was unheard of.

I mean, I think we had heard that his stay in the psychiatric ward was preceded by that sort of behavior, but we'd never seen him do it. Now, it's par for the course.

Lucas himself admitted to it during one of his rare moments of self reflection in a video awhile back. He flat out said what got him committed the last time was him standing on the street screaming at cars going by like a nutcase, which is getting closer and closer to how he is acting now. He seemed to at least be somewhat understanding of how that made him look crazy and why it was justified to have him locked up for doing that at that time. That he doesn't appear to have the slightest glimmer of understanding of the seriousness of his current situation or behavior shows how his mental state has declined since that time. I mean just look at what happened with that security guard and the nurse. Frankly he is lucky that incident in itself didn't get him committed. Can you imagine what would have happened if he had gone off like that at the cop in the park?

But the point is that these behaviors are increasing signs of his decline. Add in the prodigious amounts of marijuana, the fact that Lucas is now used to consuming larger quantities of alcohol than he ever did in the past, as far as we know, and you have a recipe for impending disaster.

Indeed. His mental state is questionable at best, even when properly medicated for months at a time. Take away the meds and add weed and alcohol, as well as the stress of being a hobo and sooner or later something is going to happen. We've already seen signs of it with the park and what happened at the shelter

As @QueenBurritoSupreme said, Lucas's shyness, which seems like a built-in limiting factor, is at odds with his violence, his extreme jealousy, and his huge sense of entitlement.

Just like his recent ouster from the House of Charity, when The Wern feels like he's been wronged... his shyness disappears and the violence comes out.

Losing an item as precious as a phone this repeatedly indicates that his decline is progressing.

Exactly. Lucas's shyness is self limiting, but only to a point. He has moments where either his mental state overcomes his shyness or where he feels wronged and becomes angry enough that it overcomes his shyness. Which makes him someone to be wary of. Fundamentally he may be shy on the surface but lucas is a violent person and very capable of attempting violence when he feels its justified, just as he is capable of all kinds of questionable behavior when he thinks he won't get caught. I wouldn't put it past him to pop off at someone over a zoomer bae, get the shit slapped out of him for it and end up losing his shit and trying to bash the guys head in with a brick in a sudden surge of overwhelming anger, of which he has alot of stored up. Only to take off and try to hide or skip the state when he realizes he went way too far and fucked up big time. Same thing with a woman. You've seen how he talks about 'blushing' little girls and how they're flirting with him. Its not far fetched that his mental health will decline to the point he starts to believe it a little too much, make a move on such a little girl only to have her flip out and start screaming, and end up trying to bash her head into a wall to shut her up and stop her from calling the cops and screaming that hes a creepy pedo trying to rape her. Lucas has a history of not considering the consequences of his actions, especially when he thinks hes in the right or justified in them. This is why I am entirely in agreement with the opinion that lucas is exactly the kind of person that the old asylum system was designed to keep away from society. The worst thing reagan ever did for everyone involved was put an end to that system. Look how many homeless there are out there now that otherwise would have had a safe place to live where they would have received the medical care they need instead of sleeping in an alley drinking cheap liquor

Also, this reminds me eerily of how lucas 'studies' things to try to figure out if it will get him zoomer baes

'Would this get more zoomer baes if it were blue?'

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Indeed. If lucas is so incompetent he can be ripped off multiple times without apparently realizing it by a 20 year old hobo and his dumbass 17 year old brother it really has to make you wonder what would happen to him in a major city like LA or NY, with the hardcore predatory hobos. He'd likely end up robbed blind and left hanging from a tree in the woods after being used as a living pinata for their entertainment within a week



At this point we should start considering making a lucas based wheres waldo game for his phone. Even by crackhead idiot hobo standards lucas is failing at being a hobo.

I mean really, back when I was in high school even the dumbass rich 16 year old cheerleaders who dropped their phones ten times a day didn't go through them as fast as lucas does



In that case I wonder if this comes in lucas's size

View attachment 1659328

I'm sure it would draw in all the zoomer baes that say nigga all the time



Simpsons predicted this. He went full jimbo

Which is all the more horrifying when you consider the fact this is the same guy who puts pepper on caviar and who drinks peanut sauce out of the bottle



I suspect there are two main reasons for that. The first being that he never cared about them at all. After all he never played with them, he only 'studied' them and used them as bait for women. The second being that lucas has, aside from a brief period working at mcdonalds back in the day, never earned his own money, doesn't really understand the value of it and therefore does not value it himself, nor does he value what he gets with it. In his mind its always something hes simply entitled to and if something happens to it, well fuck it, he'll just get more when he gets his next government payout. Like many people, especially children, lucas doesn't value it because he never earned it himself



Not that I know of, I believe goldy brought it up a couple of podcasts ago and lucas evaded the question. Either it got stolen, traded for something or he broke it in a fit of rage because he is too stupid to figure out how to play a simple game



Its an absolute necessity for him even ignoring his target demographic. Its literally his lifeline to everything. His only source of communication and internet access. Without one, just doing basic things he needs to do is considerably more difficult. He acts like its not an issue at all



Definitely. It doesn't look good for his mental health to be unconcerned with even the most basic things he should be concerned about, and even things that other crazy hobos would be concerned about. The only two groups of people who do stuff like that are legit crazy people who genuinely don't understand how stupid they are and dementia patients who have lost the capacity to understand that stuff. Lucas is obviously the former, though with the meds he has been on over the years I wouldn't be surprised to see him develop any number of degenerative brain diseases, if he even lives long enough to



Lucas himself admitted to it during one of his rare moments of self reflection in a video awhile back. He flat out said what got him committed the last time was him standing on the street screaming at cars going by like a nutcase, which is getting closer and closer to how he is acting now. He seemed to at least be somewhat understanding of how that made him look crazy and why it was justified to have him locked up for doing that at that time. That he doesn't appear to have the slightest glimmer of understanding of the seriousness of his current situation or behavior shows how his mental state has declined since that time. I mean just look at what happened with that security guard and the nurse. Frankly he is lucky that incident in itself didn't get him committed. Can you imagine what would have happened if he had gone off like that at the cop in the park?



Indeed. His mental state is questionable at best, even when properly medicated for months at a time. Take away the meds and add weed and alcohol, as well as the stress of being a hobo and sooner or later something is going to happen. We've already seen signs of it with the park and what happened at the shelter



Exactly. Lucas's shyness is self limiting, but only to a point. He has moments where either his mental state overcomes his shyness or where he feels wronged and becomes angry enough that it overcomes his shyness. Which makes him someone to be wary of. Fundamentally he may be shy on the surface but lucas is a violent person and very capable of attempting violence when he feels its justified, just as he is capable of all kinds of questionable behavior when he thinks he won't get caught. I wouldn't put it past him to pop off at someone over a zoomer bae, get the shit slapped out of him for it and end up losing his shit and trying to bash the guys head in with a brick in a sudden surge of overwhelming anger, of which he has alot of stored up. Only to take off and try to hide or skip the state when he realizes he went way too far and fucked up big time. Same thing with a woman. You've seen how he talks about 'blushing' little girls and how they're flirting with him. Its not far fetched that his mental health will decline to the point he starts to believe it a little too much, make a move on such a little girl only to have her flip out and start screaming, and end up trying to bash her head into a wall to shut her up and stop her from calling the cops and screaming that hes a creepy pedo trying to rape her. Lucas has a history of not considering the consequences of his actions, especially when he thinks hes in the right or justified in them. This is why I am entirely in agreement with the opinion that lucas is exactly the kind of person that the old asylum system was designed to keep away from society. The worst thing reagan ever did for everyone involved was put an end to that system. Look how many homeless there are out there now that otherwise would have had a safe place to live where they would have received the medical care they need instead of sleeping in an alley drinking cheap liquor

Also, this reminds me eerily of how lucas 'studies' things to try to figure out if it will get him zoomer baes

'Would this get more zoomer baes if it were blue?'

"...He'd likely end up robbed blind and left hanging from a tree in the woods after being used as a living pinata for their entertainment within a week..."

Now THAT is a show I would definitely watch!

Imagine, whacking Lucas with a stick or baseball bat and out of his pockets and his mouth and his hobo underwear come tumbling cocktail peps, greasy colored pencils, insane scribbled notes about his "swimmy boys", and all of it stinking of urine. And the entire time he's hollering about how you're a Republican cock-block.

Sign me up, @WonderWino !

 

[WonderWino]

"...He'd likely end up robbed blind and left hanging from a tree in the woods after being used as a living pinata for their entertainment within a week..."

Now THAT is a show I would definitely watch!

Imagine, whacking Lucas with a stick or baseball bat and out of his pockets and his mouth and his hobo underwear come tumbling cocktail peps, greasy colored pencils, insane scribbled notes about his "swimmy boys", and all of it stinking of urine. And the entire time he's hollering about how you're a Republican cock-block.

Sign me up, @WonderWino !

.....skip to 9:42. king of the hill predicted lucas pretty well

 

[Goldaor]

''The Background Noises Bigots'' video is surreal. He stops and listen to the ''background noises'' and let the viewers know what the voices are saying. Also I noticed during episode 1 at 3:47 he said: ''Unless you're here, now, I'm not listening to the voices on the wind out there any more than I have to''. Is that what he nicknamed the voices?


Here's more mentions of the ''Voices on the wind''

2013

2015

Also, here's more voices posts:

2019

2013

2013

2013

2011

2014 (That one I'm not sure)

2010

2013

2013

2013

2013

2013

2013

2010

2014

 

[Da Dude123]

Since we're on the voices thing. Let's not forget that Lucas also mentioned how he heard young women outside of his old flophouse shouting "We want babies, we want babies!". That surely got Lucas mooing in excitement. Also, another post Lucas mentioned that his sink faucet was laughing at him.

 

[another idiot]

Since we're on the voices thing. Let's not forget that Lucas also mentioned how he heard young women outside of his old flophouse shouting "We want babies, we want babies!". That surely got Lucas mooing in excitement. Also, another post Lucas mentioned that his sink faucet was laughing at him.

And the one where he was eating and suddenly paused for a bit and then went "what do you mean anti semitic? It's a bagel!"

 

[WonderWino]

Since we're on the voices thing. Let's not forget that Lucas also mentioned how he heard young women outside of his old flophouse shouting "We want babies, we want babies!". That surely got Lucas mooing in excitement. Also, another post Lucas mentioned that his sink faucet was laughing at him.

Lucas's average night in the fartbox in a nutshell:

Its amazing he can admit to all this hearing voices while calling other people crazy for the same thing and denying he's schizophrenic, hell even after both he and his mother admitted he is. Its even more amazing when he threatens to call the nuthouse himself and have religious people committed for 'hearing voices.' But i'd laugh my ass off if he actually did that and ended up getting committed himself over it. He would never stop screeching about it

I mean I can't imagine he believes its normal for sinks to laugh at people, or the hear voices on the wind, let alone for little girls to yell outside of his window at night that they want to have babies. It does explain an awful lot about where he gets the idea that people are all locked in their apartment buildings having orgies during the lockdown. He probably hears voices in his head that he thinks are them calling out of the apartments to taunt him with all the orgies they're having

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

Lucas admitted to purchasing all these phones since he's too stupid to use an Obama phone (tbh mine is a pain with screwing up often so I get it). And he's still "losing" them every month after using them for a few days. Brutal. Lucas seriously needs housing or to be put in a mental hospital and medicated. It's a matter of time before Lucas really feels beaten down by people and takes it out on a zoomer bae.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

View attachment 1659404
''The Background Noises Bigots'' video is surreal. He stops and listen to the ''background noises'' and let the viewers know what the voices are saying. Also I noticed during episode 1 at 3:47 he said: ''Unless you're here, now, I'm not listening to the voices on the wind out there any more than I have to''. Is that what he nicknamed the voices?


Here's more mentions of the ''Voices on the wind''

2013
View attachment 1659443

2015
View attachment 1659444

Also, here's more voices posts:

2019
View attachment 1659446

2013
View attachment 1659447




2013
View attachment 1659453

2013
View attachment 1659454

2011
View attachment 1659456

2014 (That one I'm not sure)
View attachment 1659457

2010
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2013
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2013
View attachment 1659462

2013
View attachment 1659465

2013
View attachment 1659466

2013
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2013
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2010
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2014
View attachment 1659474

Awesome!

Organizing this all together is useful, instructive, and kinda scary, Goldy.

I think the most hilarious / terrifying / hilarious again one of these is Lucas suggesting that there are voices out there which tell him to bare his penis and wave it around at other men.

Lucas clearly has homosexual urges which he's at pains to repress; does anyone dispute this?

Between the idea that the wind is telling Lucas (extrapolated from the idea that whenever he talks about "other men" he's really telling us something about himself; he's the absolute king of unintentional projection!) to swing his cock around in the direction of other men, and all his talk about cock-blocking and all of his in-depth descriptions of sticking things "way, way, WAAAAY" up men's asses, I think Lucas could have been a harmless homo if he wasn't so conservative and repressed.

Geeez, Lucas! We all know you really enjoyed slurping Jason Perva's cocktail pep, just give in to your real identity!

Between your fascination with all things homosexual, your effete gestures, and the fact that "gay" and "fag" have been your go-to insults for the entire time the internet has been aware of you, it's clear that you spend a lot of time thinking about playing around with other men's ding dongs!

It would also explain why you said that you had trouble maintaining an erection with women your age.

Clearly the only thing that really excites Lucas's "swimmy boys" is a cocktail pep!

Now it all makes sense! This is why he went around Distributing cocktail Peps to the homeless of Spokane! He was metaphorically "sharing his cocktail pep" with everyone, like some sort of deviant Johnny Appleseed!

But Lucas, how are you going to make your genetically Superior ubermensch babies when you're sharing your telomeres all over Perva's back?

Things that make ya go "Werrrrrrrrrrnnnn"!

 

[Dumpsterfire Enthusiast]

"...He'd likely end up robbed blind and left hanging from a tree in the woods after being used as a living pinata for their entertainment within a week..."

Now THAT is a show I would definitely watch!

Imagine, whacking Lucas with a stick or baseball bat and out of his pockets and his mouth and his hobo underwear come tumbling cocktail peps, greasy colored pencils, insane scribbled notes about his "swimmy boys", and all of it stinking of urine. And the entire time he's hollering about how you're a Republican cock-block.

Sign me up, @WonderWino !

Im sure as soon as they listen to his insane rants theyd know they could get him to agree to being used as a pinata if he thought there was pussy in it for him at the end. Seriously though Lucas wouldn't be hard to manipulate going by his besty Isaac

 

[neutral grandpa]

The third time hes lost his phone in so many months? Jesus christ lucas, you are so bad at doing anything. But surely having a child would go well

 

[PissPool]

Awesome!

Organizing this all together is useful, instructive, and kinda scary, Goldy.

I think the most hilarious / terrifying / hilarious again one of these is Lucas suggesting that there are voices out there which tell him to bare his penis and wave it around at other men.

Lucas clearly has homosexual urges which he's at pains to repress; does anyone dispute this?

Between the idea that the wind is telling Lucas (extrapolated from the idea that whenever he talks about "other men" he's really telling us something about himself; he's the absolute king of unintentional projection!) to swing his cock around in the direction of other men, and all his talk about cock-blocking and all of his in-depth descriptions of sticking things "way, way, WAAAAY" up men's asses, I think Lucas could have been a harmless homo if he wasn't so conservative and repressed.

Geeez, Lucas! We all know you really enjoyed slurping Jason Perva's cocktail pep, just give in to your real identity!

Between your fascination with all things homosexual, your effete gestures, and the fact that "gay" and "fag" have been your go-to insults for the entire time the internet has been aware of you, it's clear that you spend a lot of time thinking about playing around with other men's ding dongs!

It would also explain why you said that you had trouble maintaining an erection with women your age.

Clearly the only thing that really excites Lucas's "swimmy boys" is a cocktail pep!

Now it all makes sense! This is why he went around Distributing cocktail Peps to the homeless of Spokane! He was metaphorically "sharing his cocktail pep" with everyone, like some sort of deviant Johnny Appleseed!

But Lucas, how are you going to make your genetically Superior ubermensch babies when you're sharing your telomeres all over Perva's back?

Things that make ya go "Werrrrrrrrrrnnnn"!

I think Lucas is genuine in his attraction to women just by the measure of how deeply he obsesses over it. But I don’t doubt he’s not totally against messing around with dudes... he’s such a deviant I doubt he’d turn down anything. A lot of the sexual aggression around men seems to come from feelings of wanting to dominate them, however. Maybe as a way to prove his worth? He does operate by chimp law.

 

[Rogowski]

Whether it’s Isaac or it’s someone else in the homeless community that’s taking his shit over and over, this proves a theory that I’ve always had about Lucas; if you put anyone in a dog-eat-dog situation like jail or homelessness someone will eventually test you and if you fail you’ll be resigned to accepting a life as a well-known bitch that you can disrespect and steal from with no repercussions. Lucas is that bitch.

 

[LeeLoo]

Whether it’s Isaac or it’s someone else in the homeless community that’s taking his shit over and over, this proves a theory that I’ve always had about Lucas; if you put anyone in a dog-eat-dog situation like jail or homelessness someone will eventually test you and if you fail you’ll be resigned to accepting a life as a well-known bitch that you can disrespect and steal from with no repercussions. Lucas is that bitch.

Absolutely. And I definitely think it is Isaac that continues to steal from him. Why else would anyone willingly spend time with Lucas unless he had something worth using/sharing or stealing?

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Absolutely. And I definitely think it is Isaac that continues to steal from him. Why else would anyone willingly spend time with Lucas unless he had something worth using/sharing or stealing?

Goldy should ask Lucas, in the final Golden USB, how mature it is to "lose" your phone with this regularity.

Seriously, I'd love to get the story on this, which frankly might be tough given the sloven's well-established propensity for editing out any details of his life that cast him in a less-than-stellar light.

Because, frankly, getting so sloshed or stoned you can't hold onto a phone for ONE WEEK isn't cool or mature, Lucas. It's pathetic and embarrassing.

But, go on: keep reminding us how EVERYONE ELSE is inferior to your genetics. Uh-huh.

 

[Da Dude123]

I wonder if the cow got into Salvation Army? We know he is banned from HOC. But if Issac and his lil bro are still there, then would Lucas still be around them as much? Lucas only has so much to spend on rooms at Motel 6. Is he sleeping under trees again or at the hobo shanty camp? I suppose Lucas losing his phone is the only explanation. But once his tugboat comes in to port next month, he will be back to being super confident and will tell everyone that he is plenty good and that he is ready to be a dad!

 

[ThomasAudley]

Attached is his citation, stipulated order of continuance (SOC), and case management order (CMO) regarding his disorderly conduct charge (the one that got him in community court). Not a whole lot of new information from what was listed on the city court's website that we already knew, but a few interesting things I noticed:

- On the citation, he has a WA state ID card that is not valid for driving. The address is Eastern State Hospital. If he roams free until it expires, do you think he will have the wherewithal to get a new one?
- The SOC does indeed say no possession or consumption of alcohol/marijuana/THC products. He's clearly still using, so perhaps this just means no possession/intoxication while on court premises on Tuesday morning?
- He's supposed to contact and follow up with SNAP. I wonder if his flyers around town constitute seeking out housing in his mind?
- Incentives for successfully completing community court involve the criminal charge being dismissed as well as "extra lunches." I'm sure that will motivate him more than anything. Too bad zoomer poonaner isn't provided by the government also.
- Lucas' signature appears on page 4 of the SOC.

 

[WonderWino]

The SOC does indeed say no possession or consumption of alcohol/marijuana/THC products. He's clearly still using, so perhaps this just means no possession/intoxication while on court premises on Tuesday morning?

That means he isn't allowed to be in possession or on those substances at all until the court dumps the charge after he completes whatever program nonsense they have him doing. Either he isn't being tested like he is supposed to be or they are letting it slide which they are explicitly not supposed to be doing, especially with his mental health and history

That said, with all his blatant boasting about how hes got all this weed and booze during this whole thing it would be interesting for goldy to confront him with that part of the paperwork live on the podcast. It would be real interesting to see how he tries to lie his way out of that whole situation

 

[Particle Bored]

That means he isn't allowed to be in possession or on those substances at all until the court dumps the charge after he completes whatever program nonsense they have him doing. Either he isn't being tested like he is supposed to be or they are letting it slide which they are explicitly not supposed to be doing, especially with his mental health and history

That said, with all his blatant boasting about how hes got all this weed and booze during this whole thing it would be interesting for goldy to confront him with that part of the paperwork live on the podcast. It would be real interesting to see how he tries to lie his way out of that whole situation

Maybe also mention that smoking weed in public is still illegal in WA (have the statute on hand) since he likes to harp on how he doesn't break any laws.

 

[Fatal Walter]

It's sad to think that not breaking the law is one of the only positive traits he can claim. Along with his food card and the fact that he hasn't been banned from Gander and Ryegrass yet. He should really stop talking about that place before someone contacts them about it like they did with Churchill's.