Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

The comment: She wouldn't touch the disgusting Freak with a 10 ft. pole.

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ETA:
In the beginning of the podcast Lucas said he was in front of City Gate from where he got the free meal he was eating. City Gate is a christian run organization that provides meals for the homeless. As we know how he talks about christians, he's like a rabid dog that bites the hand that feeds him.

 
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I made a 5 minute dating video for him.

Now that the edit is processed: I'm kind of sad I have no way of directing him to watch his dating video without outing the account he hasn't blocked because it's a 5 minute 10 second masterpiece that I made in under that amount of time.

I should have been in bed hours ago but this episode of the podcast is solid fucking gold. The mood swings alone! Kind of wonder where he was while he was shouting almost non-stop for an hour and a half and if he got told to 'move along' when he finally stopped screeching.
Omg Goldy please make or use this kind of video and say it’s his advertisement lmao . Klickitat deserves a Nobel Prize at this point.
 
Omg Goldy please make or use this kind of video and say it’s his advertisement lmao . Klickitat deserves a Nobel Prize at this point.

My favorite part about it is that I got the timing on the length of the intro screen to match up PERFECTLY to the music transition on the first try.

The universe must have wanted the video to exist because all the crazy head shaking matches up so well to the two pieces of music and it only cost me 5 minutes of dragging and dropping to get it done! I'm so, so, so tempted to log in to one of my burner IG accounts and leave the URL in comments or a DM, which I may do before going to bed.

I'm going to be so useless at work today, it's nearly 2:30 and I'm wide the fuck awake because of how amazing that podcast meltdown was.

Edit: I'm the worst. I'm also going to bed now. The profile pic isn't me as I'm not overweight enough to grow moobs that'd fill out a corset, it's just something I grabbed off of Google images. Bet I get that comment deleted and earn a block the next time he checks his phone.

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I didn't touch on Isaac.

I kept bringing up the fact that I didn't need other people to introduce me to the women I've dated or the woman I married. This pissed him off quite a bit and he tried getting me to admit I was 'selfish' for not finding him a woman. I tried to dance out of it by saying that if he wants to come to Houston I'll introduce him to an 18-24 year old woman. At this point he's screaming at me and asking if I lived in Spokane would I introduce him to someone and I said no because he's acting very aggressive and has a DV charge against him. Then it devolved into why I wouldn't forgive him interspersed with his usual diatribe. At that point I had to go to get my daughter off the bus.

I thought about doing the whole 'welfare stimulates the economy thing' and I had an opportunity, but I don't really like talking politics with sane people much less a homeless schizophrenic.

I got most of the questions I wanted to have answered answered. The 4 year old's who he claimed were walking up to him and asking him to have sex was one. We covered some of the stuff from his ex-roommate about how he used to scrub the floor with the toilet brush (which he admitted to) and he denied (but wasn't particularly grossed out by) talking about jerking off in his ex-roommates Macaroni and Cheese.

It's surprisingly difficult to steer a conversation with this guy (at some point, just to get him to stop hollering and deescalate, I asked him his thoughts on Star Wars). The one thing I wished I had asked, and I ran out of time, is about his porn habits. That would've led to his fascination with fisting, anal torture etc. I pressed him about the reality that most guys out with multiple women aren't fucking every woman they're with. He's adamant that this isn't the case. His worldview could be the plot from a 1990's porno.

Nothing says, "I don't have anger management issues" like screaming full volume about how you're not aggressive, don't have anger management issues, and to 'move on' from not just a DV arrest, but a DV conviction.

I'd be willing to be the thing with the 4 year olds was another thing he just made up in his head (like the 17 year old "fallen angel" he was fucking at one point, whose dad and brother both adored him) or, if pressed, he'd claim was supposed to be ironic or edgy and a joke because, really, if an actual 4 year old starts talking to an adult about wanting to fuck them that's usually a red flag that there's some sexual abuse going on with whatever household that kid lives in and is something to strongly consider reporting to CPS or the police.

Yeah, yeah, I know, kids say the darnedest things, but if you've got a literal toddler saying shit like, "I want to fuck you" or talking about "watching porn" that's a huge red flag for normal people. It's a hallmark sign of sexual abuse or, at the very least, a household that needs to take a few parenting classes that revolve around, "Maybe don't watch porn full blast on your computer, because there's a good chance your toddler is not, in fact, asleep and suddenly deaf."

It'd be a turn on for pedophiles though, and we've all seen the multiple posts Lucas has made about being a pedophile; I don't buy for one second that Jason Purva posted them OR that the one he admitted to was a "hypothetical situation" because a normal, not pedophile person would change their password AND delete the posts someone else made and if they were doing a "hypothetical situation" edgy comedy schtick, that would have been made very, very, unmistakably clear at the time of posting, not years later when cornered about it.

Him losing his shit entirely every time it was even hinted at that the problem wasn't money, power, and nice cars and was, in fact, the fact that he has absolutely nothing to offer and an unpleasant, aggressive, predatory personality to boot. Possibly the best version of an adult putting their fingers in their ears and shouting, "LALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!!"

What an absolute man child.


His shift to the creeper voice when Sophie came on was more disgusting than listening to him grunt and snort while eating (apparently with his phone also in his mouth) at the beginning.
 
Please god no do NOT bring him here
Isn’t Houston extremely hot and humid, prone to hurricanes, and have some *very* high crime areas, as well as being one of the most conservative Christian cities? I think an even sweatier Lucas reeing outside Joel Osteen’s mega church saga could be amusing. Maybe he can be catfished on a Greyhound to Houston with promises of new fried chicken chains.
 
Well that was a fun listen.

Something that struck me, other than the obvious stuff, was his constant tying together social-psychological phenomenon as having some genetic or biological base. He needs to equate his motives and behaviors with some somatic mechanism as it allows him to abdicate personal responsibility for his choices. It wasn’t just the telomeres either. At one point he said there was some bio-chemical reaction that happens with zoomer baes. His desire to be with young girls isn’t because he is a pedo. It’s biological. Hence, it’s not his fault he is the way he is. And he assumes this theory holds true for everyone. So if you point out that’s not the case he explodes into his na na na not listening. It’s science STUPID! You don’t get it, I’m getting a PhD in this!!

Also his conviction that any therapy or medication equals defeat at the hands of the classist, agephobe oppressors proves he can’t be rehabilitated. It’s so entrenched in his mind that real help = defeat = I was wrong that he will NEVER accept it. He isn’t wrong. He is only following who he is. Why won’t you accept him for who he is?

What a clusterfuck he walks around with in his mind. I almost have sympathy for him until I remember this is Lucas were talking about.
 
Isn’t Houston extremely hot and humid, prone to hurricanes, and have some *very* high crime areas, as well as being one of the most conservative Christian cities? I think an even sweatier Lucas reeing outside Joel Osteen’s mega church saga could be amusing. Maybe he can be catfished on a Greyhound to Houston with promises of new fried chicken chains.
Well when you put it that way... he would be stabbed like immediately.

Oh and weed isn't legal here so no dispensaries, I have my doubts he could get a connection/not get rolled instantly.
 
Lucas ragequitting after going on an autistic rant about his sperm and agephobia was worth the ending. Especially that sad pathetic little video he made about you
Thanks everyone lol, that was an interesting summer! (And fall) I'll stick around. 🤜🏻🤛🏻

He's probably off drinking or smoking weed, or over indulging in something else to get over being talked back to by Goldaor. Funny how the thing that actually pissed him off and made him leave was being answered back to, he's that much of a manchild he can't handle anyone not submitting to him completely
Youtube processing takes for fucking ever, speaking as someone who has uploaded 1-2 hour videos before. Uploads are usually fast but the goddamned processing takes ages. A podcast around or over the 2 hour mark is probably going to take a few hours for youtube to chew through and finally 'post'. :|

I'm either going to be up really late tonight or go with, "Okay, I'll just listen to it tomorrow."

I'm also 100% sure that, for Lucas, podcasts that offer him food are going to be the new catfishing. He's dumb enough to fall for it over and over again and be baffled every time it turns out to be a trap to get him to publicly humiliate himself for an audience.

I'm ALSO 100% that once the shock of this one wears off and he can manage more than a minute long, "fuck u goaldladladlafoasorsor and gen z!" video without crying he's going to have an absolute fucking "GREEDMONGER" level and volume meltdown, possibly behind friends only FB posts (like that matters, none of the 3000+ people who are his friends are actually his friends).

He doesn't want to be fixed, and actively works against improving himself in any way. He just keeps trying the same stupid tactics to manipulate women into being his potential victim so he can finally rape a woman and say he was right all along because he had sex
Well that was a fun listen.

Something that struck me, other than the obvious stuff, was his constant tying together social-psychological phenomenon as having some genetic or biological base. He needs to equate his motives and behaviors with some somatic mechanism as it allows him to abdicate personal responsibility for his choices. It wasn’t just the telomeres either. At one point he said there was some bio-chemical reaction that happens with zoomer baes. His desire to be with young girls isn’t because he is a pedo. It’s biological. Hence, it’s not his fault he is the way he is. And he assumes this theory holds true for everyone. So if you point out that’s not the case he explodes into his na na na not listening. It’s science STUPID! You don’t get it, I’m getting a PhD in this!!

Also his conviction that any therapy or medication equals defeat at the hands of the classist, agephobe oppressors proves he can’t be rehabilitated. It’s so entrenched in his mind that real help = defeat = I was wrong that he will NEVER accept it. He isn’t wrong. He is only following who he is. Why won’t you accept him for who he is?

What a clusterfuck he walks around with in his mind. I almost have sympathy for him until I remember this is Lucas were talking about.

Lucas is unsurprisingly still bitching about Goldaor. He's likely gonna be mad for a few days and make cringe memes/videos that only make him look lord repulsive
 

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Good morning all! Checked the HOC list this morning and a certain defeated, tendie-less, fat someone came back to roost last night.
Well crap. Was hoping he'd gotten banned for months. The first time he was banned from HOC back in 2016-2017, he was banned for 6 mo.

ETA:
Lucas is such a moron and desperate, he believes the people that for a laugh troll him.

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Well that was a fun listen.

Something that struck me, other than the obvious stuff, was his constant tying together social-psychological phenomenon as having some genetic or biological base. He needs to equate his motives and behaviors with some somatic mechanism as it allows him to abdicate personal responsibility for his choices. It wasn’t just the telomeres either. At one point he said there was some bio-chemical reaction that happens with zoomer baes. His desire to be with young girls isn’t because he is a pedo. It’s biological. Hence, it’s not his fault he is the way he is. And he assumes this theory holds true for everyone. So if you point out that’s not the case he explodes into his na na na not listening. It’s science STUPID! You don’t get it, I’m getting a PhD in this!!

Also his conviction that any therapy or medication equals defeat at the hands of the classist, agephobe oppressors proves he can’t be rehabilitated. It’s so entrenched in his mind that real help = defeat = I was wrong that he will NEVER accept it. He isn’t wrong. He is only following who he is. Why won’t you accept him for who he is?

What a clusterfuck he walks around with in his mind. I almost have sympathy for him until I remember this is Lucas were talking about.

Lucas is indeed a giant pedo, but I think men in general are attracted to younger women. However, younger in this context is 20ish. The British government seems to think that 30s is the optimum age but finds half of men would indeed have sex with a 21-year-old girl, but another study found that men are most attracted to 21-year-old women, despite their own age. It's pretty obvious that men, be they 20 or 50, will always be attracted to a woman 18-21, perhaps its evolutionary based on their fecundity, I dunno, but in 2020 it's definitely NOT about breeding with fertile young women. Lucas takes one point of data, that men are attracted to women in their early twenties, and makes an entire theory that drives his life out of it.

Additionally, humans have been on the planet somewhere between 4,000 to 2 million years ago. In those early days, right after the ark/during Africa, men probably didn't much live past 35. Certainly over the past couple millennia, the vast majority of relationships are, as Lucas puts it, age proximous [sic]. Humans have been steadily advancing and doing better, if there has been a decline in physical fitness it is due to our overwhelming success at taming nature and sitting on our asses all day Lucas style, not through a lack of age gap breeding. We've made it this far without age gapping our offspring, I don't think the human species is in need of saving by the rantings of some homeless schizo who gets triggered by the voices on the wind.

He is entirely incapable of seeing alternative explanations of things. In his mind, the solution to everything is age gap breeding and there can be no other way. Similarly, in his mind, weed and alcohol is the only "medicine" he needs, and he can see it no other way.
 
Him losing his shit entirely every time it was even hinted at that the problem wasn't money, power, and nice cars and was, in fact, the fact that he has absolutely nothing to offer and an unpleasant, aggressive, predatory personality to boot. Possibly the best version of an adult putting their fingers in their ears and shouting, "LALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!!"

What an absolute man child.

The way he denounces any of his own imperfections to the point of burning all his bridges like a serial arsonist when faced with even constructive criticism is what makes Wern watching as hilarious as it is irritating.

I can't say I've never pointed fingers at society and the world for things in my own life not going the way I want them to, but holy fuck man. Imagine walking around everywhere seeing (and usually just hallucinating) that everyone everywhere has a surplus of the one thing you desire ( twelve chicks for one dude!) And in your mind saying no my way is right and theirs isn't.

That part of the podcast where Jeremiah said he had to go take care of his kid and wife or something and Lucas got all solemn and said he was jealous. Lucas said he was jealous that he had what he wanted but when he offered him constructive criticism to GET the things he wants he just started squawking and REEEEEing like no I'm right you're wrong.

But hey, his way is bound to work one day right. Sperging out about his magical sperm is bound to finally pay off one day and stop getting him thrown out of places and shunned by everyone. When he writes the longest sperg out in history about it, it'll all pay off and he'll have his 12 chicks to 1 Lucas. The logic of Lucas everyone. My way just isn't working because I haven't sperged about it enough, even though it's all I do all day everyday.

ETA: (relevant)
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Lucas screaming like a toddler when he doesn't hear what he wants to is hilarious.

Related: Guess who turned off comments on his IG?

Edit: Despite it not being at all surprising, you'd think if you've been trying the same tactic for almost a decade and it hasn't worked even a single time, you'd try something that isn't just an obvious variation of the failed, humiliating tactic.

I hope he never does, because half of what makes him so damn funny is the fact that he wholeheartedly believes that his game is strong and it's just trolls and haters that make it fail.
 
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