Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Stilgar of Troon]

They probably do know and don't care enough to help him. And I think his mom basically refuses to acknowledge his existence at this point.

Who can blame her? Who'd admit to having birthed an eldritch horror like the Wern?

 

[Free the Pedos]

They probably do know and don't care enough to help him. And I think his mom basically refuses to acknowledge his existence at this point.

How could they possibly help him even if they wanted to? He gets kicked out of every housing situation. Based on the blog post we’ve seen from Myrna, I think she cares but her hands are tied and she’s probably exhausted and humiliated by his antics.

 

[Fatal Walter]

Lucas really knows how to speak to those gen Z honies. He looks like a creepy middle aged trucker and doesn't know how to spell discord.

 

[LeeLoo]

Amazing

 

[Quiet Dignity]

Lucas really knows how to speak to those gen Z honies. He looks like a creepy middle aged trucker and doesn't know how to spell discord.
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Lucas drinks, gets high, and is sexist, racist, slovenly, stupid and sex-obsessed. He couldn't be less Dischord if he tried.

 

[Coach McGuirk]

I'll take $2,000 for things that never happened Alex.
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They all gathered into one car like a vaudeville clown act, those Gen Z sluts are missing out on some prime genetic material though, so the jokes on them. As we know all women love to be compared to nothing but baby makers, I'm honestly shocked that none of these Gen Zygotes are willing to see what Lucas has to offer. Who wouldn't want an angry hobo up in there guts. It truly shows the bigotry of the younger generations.
(Intense Sarcasm)

 

[mothman96]

Lucas really knows how to speak to those gen Z honies. He looks like a creepy middle aged trucker and doesn't know how to spell discord.
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I was just reading the comments on there. One adviced the Freak to be normal. The psycho says he's already "normal" on Tinder and wants a good opening line to use IRL. His mind is to far gone to know normal. talesofspokane fled an abusive relationship and is giving advice on how to meet women to the psycho with a DV conviction.

ETA:

 

[Mr Sister]

"Slimebody" made me giggle, it's something me and my friends would come up with as stupid ass joke

 

[Krathnami]

I love it when Lucas talks about his “approach” with women as though he’s ever approached a woman. I don’t think he actually wants a woman that badly. His existence is predicated on his love molestation quest were the quest to reach a conclusion he has no reason to live.

 

[Wernology]

I love it when Lucas talks about his “approach” with women as though he’s ever approached a woman. I don’t think he actually wants a woman that badly. His existence is predicated on his love molestation quest were the quest to reach a conclusion he has no reason to live.

Oh he has, it's just that he only does the, "Hi, I'm Lucas, how are you?" in his scrambled little head and what comes out of his mouth is an infodump about his superior sperm and how he needs her eggs to make a super race.

"Hey! I just met you, and this is crazy, but my sperm's superior, so have my baby!" is probably as close as he gets.

Edit: Dusted the cards off to let him know neither a bae or birthday sex was in them for the 27th.
It's still early in Spokane so I may wait a couple more hours before deciding he's done posting videos for the evening and compiling them.

 

[IceQueen]

I'll take $2,000 for things that never happened Alex.
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He talked about that in one of his videos and I was cracking up lmao. He might have seen people collapse but no doubt it was not related to covid.

Ah yes, the bus station that he himself admitted he is banned from because of his behavior. If that had happened it would have made the news. It also would have resulted in his ass being thrown into quarantine along with everyone else who was there at the time

Perhaps thats his plan that hes setting the groundwork for - saying shit like this and then claiming hes been exposed to covid so they'll put him in forced quarantine and give him food and a bed. I wouldn't put it past him to try it

and that makes it pretty clear he is having literal delusions of seeing these 'swooping' incidents. That makes me wonder how long it'll be before he starts screaming at said imaginary zoomers and other random people he thinks are somehow involved in it. He clearly doesn't consider that its all in his head at all. He's so stupid that even knowing he's been diagnosed mentally ill he still takes his own insanity at face value. Even when it results in him doing things that get him into trouble. In his world, everyone else is the problem and there is absolutely nothing wrong with him at all, just everyone else trying to make him think there is

The zoomers might be real, but as people keep pointing out to him on Instagram, young people uh... hang out together... He might actually be seeing groups of Gen Z kids but he 100% is NOT seeing 10 girls dating/heading out to hook up with 1 dude.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

So considering that most of the crap he's posted lately has been at a transit station, is it safe to assume he's out of money for Motel 6 and now staying in there? I mean I don't know if he even can or if someone would run him off. If that's the case though he's really reaching peak hobo. This is the kind of moment any normal person in that situation would say holy fuck I need to get my life together. Lucas however, as always, is only preoccupied with getting a girlfriend. Oh but don't forget, you're a classist agephobe if you don't want to date the smelly bus station hobo that's obsessed with old man jizz.

 

[AbraCadaver]

So considering that most of the crap he's posted lately has been at a transit station, is it safe to assume he's out of money for Motel 6 and now staying in there? I mean I don't know if he even can or if someone would run him off. If that's the case though he's really reaching peak hobo. This is the kind of moment any normal person in that situation would say holy fuck I need to get my life together. Lucas however, as always, is only preoccupied with getting a girlfriend. Oh but don't forget, you're a classist agephobe if you don't want to date the smelly bus station hobo that's obsessed with old man jizz.

Well obviously he’s getting his life together by hunting down a girlfriend! Once he gets one, she’ll let him move in with her and raid her fridge, then his dad will realize he’s plenty good and take him back and let the both of them live in his house so they can give him grandkids...the house Lucas pitched to potential mates as being filled with “big tvs, pool table, and a lot of food.”

After that it’s just a simple matter of getting his lady pregnant and then collecting his giant inheritance, to live off for the rest of his life while his wifey does the cooking and cleaning and baby raising and works an outside job.

This is literally what he believes.

 

[Wernology]

In an effort to not be up until 3am slapping videos together, I cut him off early tonight.

Tomorrow's birthday videos will start with the "I'll Love You When You Love On Me, Gen Z" he put up around 9:40ish PST.

As with the last few, I tried to even the volume and distortion out so your ears don't bleed when he deep throats his phone to scream at it and so it's mostly understandable. If he had any money, I might start sending him invoices over Venmo or some shit for making his videos semi-watchable.

Edit to add: He's started occasionally commenting on my videos now as well!

Edit again!: For a just after midnight birthday present for The Wern, I redid the original dating ad he demanded of @Goldaor

Just the clowns, and I gave him a--well, it wasn't to make him look better, just to brighten it up a bit--filter.

 

[BowlOfDick]

Another birthday alone Lucas...

 

[boner_alert]

So considering that most of the crap he's posted lately has been at a transit station, is it safe to assume he's out of money for Motel 6 and now staying in there? I mean I don't know if he even can or if someone would run him off. If that's the case though he's really reaching peak hobo. This is the kind of moment any normal person in that situation would say holy fuck I need to get my life together. Lucas however, as always, is only preoccupied with getting a girlfriend. Oh but don't forget, you're a classist agephobe if you don't want to date the smelly bus station hobo that's obsessed with old man jizz.

Don't be a classist, everyone pees their pants. Well into their 40s and regularly

 

[WonderWino]

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Does anyone know whether or not Fatty is conclusively banned from Clinkerdagger? If so, does he actually know that he's banned?

It would be nice for them to be aware that he's using their restaurant as bait.

It would be hilarious if someone did take him up on his prime rib dinner offer, met him at the restaurant, ordered the most expensive prime rib on the menu and when it was brought to the table told the waiter 'excuse me, can I get that wrapped up to go?' then took her steak and immediately left lucas sitting there alone at the table with the bill after calling him a creep. He would be utterly furious

I hope she gets him a gift certificate for somewhere he's banned from.

That or pull a george costanza and instead of a gift certificate just a card with a note saying that a donation has been made in his name to the spokane mental health fund or something to that effect, to help people like him. Both denying him food and low key rubbing in the fact he has mental problems while giving his gift to someone else essentially. He'd be reeing about that for days and have some not so nice things to say about his mother

How could they possibly help him even if they wanted to? He gets kicked out of every housing situation. Based on the blog post we’ve seen from Myrna, I think she cares but her hands are tied and she’s probably exhausted and humiliated by his antics.

I honestly don't think she ever actually cared about him. I think she put on the appearance of caring because it would make her look bad to do otherwise. Note how she always came up with bs excuses as to how he became mentally ill to avoid acknowledging it was passed on from her and how she has always done the bare minimum of acknowledgement of him, even when he was younger. and how, on her site she makes everything about her reactions to how he was treated in school, etc, had him committed because she essentially had to, then left him to his own devices with cyril and only intervened there because of claims he was exploiting lucas and that could have led to a bad situation sooner or later for everyone involved and that would lead to questions about why she knowingly left her severely mentally ill son in such a situation. Plus barely recognizing his birthdays, etc.. and doing her best to ignore him entirely, even when confronted by people pointing out serious problems, like how she essentially told the guy who told her about his soliciting kiddie porn incident to leave her alone and call the cops on him. She wanted plausible deniability, which means she knows enough about him to think its a good idea to have it

That site she had about mental illness (which surprise surprise she abandoned and let cease to exist) was full of bs and came off as 'see! i'm a good parent and trying to help my kid!' while doing jack shit but trying to make her not look bad

In short, she sees him as her mistake and a constant reminder that she fucked up big time and doesn't want that reminder in her life. She's very much the wannabe socialite type and doesn't want him or his antics associated with that. She knows full well what he is, that hes a creep with women and a pedo, she low key said so to him with the 'with your illness....' comments that lucas mentioned in his reflections post, he was just too stupid to read between the lines. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if she aktion T4'd his ass earlier in his life if that were a legal thing in the US

She enabled him as a kid and young adult because a) she knew he'd lose his shit on her if she didn't and b) she didn't know what else to do as a parent that wouldn't make her look bad with his behavior if she didn't. She didn't do that for him she did it to make it easier on her and to make her look like a good mother to the outside world. But she didn't give a shit, she just enabled him, did the bare minimum and kicked him to the curb when he got old enough, never having taught him anything else except to expect the same treatment from others as an adult, which explains alot about his current entitlement attitude and his viewing relationships as transactional. She threw him to the wolves knowing he was mentally ill and without the experience or being taught how to behave and survive in society. Those aren't the actions of someone who actually cares

Amazing

I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if lucas didn't see the sarcasm and baiting in that post and legitimately tries to take him up on that offer. After all it does feed into his 'its all an act! i'm a comedian!' nonsense and makes it sound like hes doing a good and convincing job of it. Plus it offers money

 

[MeganDodgedABullet]

Wishing Pukas a terrible terrible birthday.

 

[Goldaor]

Another comment from THE Wern! This time, on episode 1. I've only ever said that I supported Trump once(1).
His sleep schedule is so fucked, I bet he stays up until the sunrise so he can safely pass out in an alley and not fear getting """attacked"""by the baseball bat flatbill maniac that's terrorizing the town.

 

[WonderWino]

Another comment from THE Wern! This time, on episode 1. I've only ever said once that I supported Trump.View attachment 1751842

....This coming from the guy who accuses you of not moving on. Lucas is proving himself to be a petty, obsessive, vindictive twat yet again