Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[WonderWino]

He'll fuck up every opportunity, burn every bridge, bite every hand that feeds him, and wind up freezing to death.

So you have discovered the wernsquatch's tibetan alpine cousin - the werni. The creepy pedo that stalks the cold alpine peaks of tibet and drags off little girls to his telomere coated cave. They just like to claim its chinese agents kidnapping them and taking them off to human trafficking rings somewhere in china to hide the awful truth

 

[IceQueen]

Lucas' high school pics are hard to look at, especially around any people where he's so awkward supporting walls. Myrna was likely a terrible overbearing influence too judging by those stories about the girl who excluded Lucas from parties, and we can assume from her virtue signaling Facebook posts that she cares most about appearing like a supportive mother than actually being one. That's where I legit feel really bad for Lucas.

But, Lucas had to get over it at some point. He did manage to find Suzanne who actually loved him for God knows why, and he ruined it due to his silly selfishness. He's had his chances, plenty of them to live a comfortable life in a society built to protect his mental deficiencies, and burned them all.

You know, in re-reading Myrna’s blog the other day, that passage about Lucas “LOVING” a little girl to the moon and back in 4th grade was a bit disturbing. I totally get where Myrna was coming from as a mother and that situation IS sad, it was cruel and callous of the little girl to do that and yes, any little kid would feel so sad, excluded, ostracized, and rejected.

But... knowing Lucas, what creepy shit had he done towards that little girl? Sure, every kid gets crushes and lots of little kids have the thought of “I’m going to marry so and so”. But considering who we’re talking about, maybe that little girl was Lucas’ first obsession, his first “we are MEANT to be together and the other kids in the class are FORCING me not to talk to her” type shit that he’s so known for today. So... yeah, I get that that was a traumatic, shitty experience for him, but I also wonder what he did in regards to that girl.

 

[Telomere Savalas]

Let's take a moment to consider young Lucas, in the years before his telomeres were ready for a fecund queefy bae. It'll be a bummer to remind ourselves that the Wern was once just a shy, awkward little retard, who very badly wanted to smooch a girl his own age. He's still trying to kiss that girl at 41.

Spoiler: A History of Rejection

LUCAS WERNER: A HISTORY OF REJECTION
"I've never been with an interesting smart pretty girl." Lucas Colby Werner.
​

Lucas Colby Werner has been, by his own admission, on a love quest since he was a child. He's been trying to find his "interesting smart pretty girl" or "dream girl" since he can remember.

At 41, Lucas, still can't "find [his] girl."

I Can't Find My Girl

#Instagram: @lucaswerner79

youtu.be

Lucas's fixation on courtship is matched only by his social retardation. His parents recognized at a very early age that he struggled with social interactions. His social deficits were pronounced enough for his parents to send him to a counselor. This was Lucas's early introduction to the mental health system, which would play a huge role in his life.

Lucas recognizes that his shyness is worse around girls he's interested in.

He's an extremely thirsty man, interested in pretty much all attractive young women he encounters, and terrified of talking to them. The courtship game makes him very anxious, but he fancies himself an active player nonetheless. He's more of an outraged spectator.

Given his social problems, Lucas was not a very popular kid.


We can picture Lucas as unhappy, awkward kid, probably on the bottom of the social hierarchy at school, maybe spoiled at home.

Lucas does not seem to have ever feared cooties. He was sweet on the girls when he was little.

The "interesting smart pretty girls" noticed Lucas and recoiled. They avoided him. They did not include him in their parties.

Social exclusion is a major part of Lucas's story. Lucas often takes to social media wondering "Where the party at Gen Z?" He can't stand being left out, especially from Gen Z's dating scene. But long before Lucas was rejected by Millenials, and Gen Z, he was rejected by Gen X.

Here's Lucas as a 4th grader, and everyone that was invited to the party back in 1988. Imagine the fun they had. You know Lucas did.
View attachment 1777459
Are you tempted to give him a purple nurple? Noogies? A wet willie? Tempted to call him "faggot"?

When nobody will invite you to their party, you throw your own. Lucas has a history or organizing events that nobody attends. In Olympia, he is reported to have hosted an EBT funded, atheist bbq at a public park (presumably to meet hot atheist bitches). He wept when nobody came. As a child, he experienced many similar disappointments. For example:

It's sad, isn't it? A scarred soul?

Lucas’s girl problems continued in high school. He feared rejection so much that he felt he could not function around girls. His account of his attempts to chat up the ladies is almost eerie:

Lucas is confused by things that other people intuitively understand.

Here's Lucas in HS, day dreaming of poon:
View attachment 1777463

View attachment 1777465

Lucas wrote about being bullied in HS in one of his songs, "Teenage Bondage." It's not hard to see why he may have been a target:

Lucas neither got himself a dream girl nor graduated from HS. Without school, his only access to girls was through his job in fast food, or better yet, his friends. The latter was discouraged, and the former one of the great subjects of Wernology: Lucas's insistence that other men "yeet him down a bae" or otherwise act as his pimp. By his early 20s, Lucas was in part attributing his shyness and lack of success with girls to the challenges of working in fast food. He was shy, because he was so busy.

Lucas would soon be able to devote all of his time to his love quest. He cracked up, and became a fixture of the mental health system.

....TBC

It was quite the hat.

View attachment 1779835

See, I can empathize with Lucas here, as I was bullied and shunned in school, and that has fucked with me well into adulthood.

Then I remind myself that Lucas' current situation is almost entirely of his own making, so fuck him. (Or not)

 

[Wernology]

I dunno about that. Lucas is a leech but he's a leech with a serious mental illness that earned him a few stays at ESH. They have things on file with government doctors saying he's nuts. This isn't your normal neo-welfare SSDI scamming. He's a legit cripple.

Likely they'd just cut his payments a bit. They make disability so that if you earn more than $1000 or whatever you just get a smaller payment from the government. They don't end and you get "kicked off". It is structured so that total income is always better if you work than not work. That's one of those little lies people tell themselves when living on their tugboat.

He'd be less of one if he'd be forced to stay on his meds.

All of his involuntary stays have been after he's been allowed to go off his meds for awhile.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

You know, in re-reading Myrna’s blog the other day, that passage about Lucas “LOVING” a little girl to the moon and back in 4th grade was a bit disturbing. I totally get where Myrna was coming from as a mother and that situation IS sad, it was cruel and callous of the little girl to do that and yes, any little kid would feel so sad, excluded, ostracized, and rejected.

But... knowing Lucas, what creepy shit had he done towards that little girl? Sure, every kid gets crushes and lots of little kids have the thought of “I’m going to marry so and so”. But considering who we’re talking about, maybe that little girl was Lucas’ first obsession, his first “we are MEANT to be together and the other kids in the class are FORCING me not to talk to her” type shit that he’s so known for today. So... yeah, I get that that was a traumatic, shitty experience for him, but I also wonder what he did in regards to that girl.

It reads like Myrna going too far to defend Lucas like she always does from things I've read about her. It's really unnatural to say 10 year olds LOVE each other to the moon.

Lucas must have really been off-putting, because at that age being taller and bigger than most kids is a significant advantage. Like more than just shy.

 

[ThomasAudley]

It reads like Myrna going too far to defend Lucas like she always does from things I've read about her. It's really unnatural to say 10 year olds LOVE each other to the moon.

Lucas must have really been off-putting, because at that age being taller and bigger than most kids is a significant advantage. Like more than just shy.

Must’ve been his big telomeres

 

[AnOminous]

I totally get where Myrna was coming from as a mother and that situation IS sad, it was cruel and callous of the little girl to do that and yes, any little kid would feel so sad, excluded, ostracized, and rejected.

Just sadistically excluding someone for fun is mean but excluding them because they're a fucking creep who is harassing you is completely justified.

 

[IceQueen]

It reads like Myrna going too far to defend Lucas like she always does from things I've read about her. It's really unnatural to say 10 year olds LOVE each other to the moon.

Lucas must have really been off-putting, because at that age being taller and bigger than most kids is a significant advantage. Like more than just shy.

Right! Agreed 100%, and yeah Lucas was taller and bigger, and honestly really normal looking, so it had to be his personality that the other kids didn't like.

 

[Dumpsterfire Enthusiast]

You know, in re-reading Myrna’s blog the other day, that passage about Lucas “LOVING” a little girl to the moon and back in 4th grade was a bit disturbing. I totally get where Myrna was coming from as a mother and that situation IS sad, it was cruel and callous of the little girl to do that and yes, any little kid would feel so sad, excluded, ostracized, and rejected.

But... knowing Lucas, what creepy shit had he done towards that little girl? Sure, every kid gets crushes and lots of little kids have the thought of “I’m going to marry so and so”. But considering who we’re talking about, maybe that little girl was Lucas’ first obsession, his first “we are MEANT to be together and the other kids in the class are FORCING me not to talk to her” type shit that he’s so known for today. So... yeah, I get that that was a traumatic, shitty experience for him, but I also wonder what he did in regards to that girl.

What did that girl even do to him, just reject him? or was she a bit more nasty about it? Like i get that rejection can really hurt if done in an excessively cruel way, but If he acted anything like he does now back then he deserved whatever he got. Being treated like shit is a good way to learn to be less shitty of a person and not blindly trust anyone enough for them to be able to hurt you so easily in the first place.

edit: Read over the history of rejection post and i really don't feel much sympathy for him. There are far worse things that can happen to you than simply being rejected and if he thinks being excluded is bad enough to justify him being the way he is he should be thankful he hasnt gotten obsessed over the sort of person that would go out of their way to make it as painful for him as possible for a laugh.

 

[wenttobermuda]

See, I can empathize with Lucas here, as I was bullied and shunned in school, and that has fucked with me well into adulthood.

Then I remind myself that Lucas' current situation is almost entirely of his own making, so fuck him. (Or not)

It is very difficult to feel bad for the Wern. The closest I can come is to feel bad about him. He has this fascinating ability to kill empathy. I'm interested in the moment Lucas ceased to be a sad dork and became the Wern. The soda fit that ended his relationship with Suzanne is a good candidate. I'm sure everyone knows the story.

But... knowing Lucas, what creepy shit had he done towards that little girl? Sure, every kid gets crushes and lots of little kids have the thought of “I’m going to marry so and so”. But considering who we’re talking about, maybe that little girl was Lucas’ first obsession, his first “we are MEANT to be together and the other kids in the class are FORCING me not to talk to her” type shit that he’s so known for today. So... yeah, I get that that was a traumatic, shitty experience for him, but I also wonder what he did in regards...

I've come to believe that little Lucas was not that much different from our current Lucas. My suspicion is that he felt cockblocked by another nine year old and had a fit.

Lucas's anger problem was present at an early age. He admits that around other kids he "struggled at best and lost [his] temper and embarrassed [himself] at worst." Recall the incident with the volunteer hairdresser? Having "known" her for an afternoon, Lucas formed such an attachment to her that he violently spazzed out when she talked to another man. I suspect that Lucas had fits like this a lot growing up. He gets possessive, he feels out competed, and he acts out.

It could've gone like this:

Spoiler: a disabled fable

I have no proof that any of this ever happened.

We'll call Lucas's unfortunate crush Fay. Lucas would like to talk to Fay, but it is very hard for him. He must've told her that his name is Lucas a thousand times. He can think of nothing to say except "I love you" and "Play doctor with me." Fay talks to another little boy, Bill, a lot. It seems very easy and natural for them to talk to each other, and Lucas is mystified. He doesn't understand how Bill does it, and watches, hoping to learn.

Fay and Bill sit together sometimes. Bill tells jokes and Fay laughs. They always seem to end up on the same team or in the same group. Most days, they share lunch with each other. Lucas sees this, and wants in, but they make no room for Lucas. Lucas cannot stand it.

If Bill wasn't there, Fay would talk to him. But Lucas can't get Bill to go away. He doesn't know how, and nobody will tell him.

He complains to his mother. She tells him he is handsome and feeds him ice cream. He complains to his teacher, but no adult seems to have the power to get Lucas what he wants. It's unfair. Unfair. That's what Lucas is thinking, and screaming, as he throws another schoolyard tantrum. The adults drag Lucas away. His parents already take him to see a counselor, and now they have something new to talk about.

Poor little Fay is horrified. The other little girls tease her about being Lucas's crush. She responds by being mean to Lucas when the opportunity presents itself.

When Lucas spazzes out like this, it makes some kids uncomfortable. Others think it's hilarious and wish he'd do it more often. They bully him more often now. But this has been going on as long as he's been in school. And it's not going to stop any time soon. Some day, Lucas's tantrums will earn him a spot in the psych ward.

Lucas must have really been off-putting, because at that age being taller and bigger than most kids is a significant advantage. Like more than just shy.

This is a great observation about the big oaf. He had a pretty big competitive advantage, and still couldn't compete. When the kid that gets picked on is also the biggest, that's a sure sign that the kid is a retard. He has no spine.

 

[ThomasAudley]

Dr. Nigga got kicked out of the house or there was a misunderstanding about the duration of his stay. The same day he posted some pics on IG and has gone silent. I don't think the theory that they saw his IG and mocked him led to him not posting because he posted immediately after. But now there's been three days of silence. He was spotted with a bunch of blankets and chargers, so he's clearly not busy. He's not on Spokane's jail roster. He probably hasn't lost his phone because he was spotted online during this phase of no posts. This raises the question: what the fuck is he doing!?

 

[Nobleman]

Dr. Nigga got kicked out of the house or there was a misunderstanding about the duration of his stay. The same day he posted some pics on IG and has gone silent. I don't think the theory that they saw his IG and mocked him led to him not posting because he posted immediately after. But now there's been three days of silence. He was spotted with a bunch of blankets and chargers, so he's clearly not busy. He's not on Spokane's jail roster. He probably hasn't lost his phone because he was spotted online during this phase of no posts. This raises the question: what the fuck is he doing!?

Called in another "Suicide threat" to the mental health authorities?

 

[WonderWino]

Dr. Nigga got kicked out of the house or there was a misunderstanding about the duration of his stay. The same day he posted some pics on IG and has gone silent. I don't think the theory that they saw his IG and mocked him led to him not posting because he posted immediately after. But now there's been three days of silence. He was spotted with a bunch of blankets and chargers, so he's clearly not busy. He's not on Spokane's jail roster. He probably hasn't lost his phone because he was spotted online during this phase of no posts. This raises the question: what the fuck is he doing!?

....When you put it that way it makes it sound like perhaps he is busy making a blanket fort to live in at the bus station

Called in another "Suicide threat" to the mental health authorities?

If he does that too many time in a short period they'll either say he's mental and lock him up for months and forcibly medicate him or realize he's lying about it and kick him out, potentially involving the police if he gets pissy about it or keeps trying after that. Besides, it doesn't do him any good, even if he were to get in it would just be another few days and he'd be back out like the last time so it doesn't help his housing any. He has to find a longer term housing solution of some kind or he's going to have a very difficult winter

On that note I wonder what christmas dinners at the homeless shelters are like

 

[moseph.jartelli]

I really wish someone who knew him in high school would find this thread. He's one if the few cows it seems where theres very little info regarding his youth

 

[Trainwreck]

Last year at this time Lucas was sitting in his "apartment" wearing a granny beanie over his eyes making "Baby Zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom" song. This year he's trudging around the streets downtown in the snow carrying all his belongs in one backpack. I wonder if Myrna has any idea what is going on with him or if she's written him off not because she doesn't love him, but because he refuses to take medication to try and fix his broken brain.

 

[neutral grandpa]

Last year at this time Lucas was sitting in his "apartment" wearing a granny beanie over his eyes making "Baby Zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom" song. This year he's trudging around the streets downtown in the snow carrying all his belongs in one backpack. I wonder if Myrna has any idea what is going on with him or if she's written him off not because she doesn't love him, but because he refuses to take medication to try and fix his broken brain.

Its amazing how much better off he was just 1 year ago. and his life was still terrible in 2019

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

This raises the question: what the fuck is he doing!?

Sitting round and bending leftist theory in order to convince ”Zoomer baes” to shag him.

 

[Krathnami]

Lucas is in for a rough time. Too bad he did fuck all about housing all summer when it was warm.

 

[wenttobermuda]

View attachment 1782463
Lucas is in for a rough time. Too bad he did fuck all about housing all summer when it was warm.

I hope he finds a warm, safe place to pass the night. And then cries. For poon.

The cold may distract him from his poon hunt, and freezing to death would not be a suitable end to his story.

 

[AnOminous]

The cold may distract him from his poon hunt, and freezing to death would not be suitable end to his story.

The phase where he starts losing extremities to the combination of beetus and cold is where this gets depressing instead of funny.