Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

OnMeDick said:
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Ok, this kind of talk is approaching school shooter territory. Luckily Lucas is too stupid, too bad with money, and too unhinged to actually acquire a gun. So I suspect instead it will just be an epic chimpout 😂😂
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Lukey has a DV conviction. He cant own a gun.
Fanatical Pragmatist said:
"Where da party at? Where the women at, GEN-ZEE?!?"
"$50 cash app for me to tell you where the parties are at."
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That's two questions, so $100.
 
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Particle Bored said:
Lukey has a DV conviction. He cant own a gun.
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Not being able to buy a gun legally isn't always enough to stop someone with criminal intent from getting one, you just have to know somebody who knows somebody. Luckily Lucas has no friends or connections, can't manage to save large sums of money, and is too pussy to actually do anything.
 
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Club Sandwich said:
this stuck out to me a little since one of the first times i had to re-read what Lucas had written was his unique phrasing of things. he had said "soft scoop" ice cream. which i've never heard of before in my life. it's always been "soft serve" or "american ice cream" or "99 flake" ice cream.

i lump it in with "full blush face" and "flatbill" and other Wernisms as a combination of untreated autism leading to a verbal tic, and a meaningful phrase to describe a thought to others in a way that is successful in communicating the underlying idea.
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Wern 2.0 will be Lucas going to the main social area of the campus after psyching himself up to approach every girl he sees with “Hi I’m Lucas” until ONE of them agrees to go to Clinkerdaggers with him.

He will arrive at his chosen hunting spot and sit down in a chair while fumbling with his phone and pretending to look busy. He’ll see some young women, maybe try to covertly take pictures, then spend the next four hours cowardly making excuses in his head on why he can’t go talk to them.

“No, that one is with friends, I need to get a woman alone. Not that one, she’s on the phone. That girl looks like she might yell at me, she’s mean. Not that one, she’s....uhhh....she looks over 24. Definitely not a juicy enough womb. Oh DAMN A MAN JUST ENTERED THE ROOM TWENTY METERS AWAY! Now I can’t ask ANY of these girls out because they’re all secretly thinking about him! FUCKING COCKBLOCK!!!!”

He’ll drag himself back to the shelter that night and record an angry near-tears vid in the loo about how ALL THE GEN Z MEN COCKBLOCKED HIM TODAY, simply by dint of being present in the building.

Because Lucas’ definition of “clockblock” is that other men exist. He knows his only way to get a date is if he is literally the only man available...and even then, the women would rather just be alone.

e: lol that above post. “I guess if no man is willing to GIVE ME their female property, I’m FORCED to go and, idk, actually speak to a woman like she’s people? Let her have some sort of choice in the matter? It’s crazy and desperate but it’s my last resort.”
 
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So with all the ominous talk of Wern 2.0 today, this poses two questions in my mind should something go down (most likely just some low-key college girl harassing):

1.) If Lucas is arrested again for whatever this ends up being, do you think in court we get Podcast Lucas shouting over the judge about how he's misunderstood, and everyone else is wrong, or do we get talking to girl's dad Lucas, where he is entirely deferential in an a misguided bid to seem sane/not a pedo?

2.) Will we be able to get our hands on any court transcripts?
 
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ClownBrew said:
I still can't believe Uncle Chris still hasn't told him to have a seat yet. I've seen the Cameo spot he did on him-- but I'm talking about the real thing. That episode would probably net the all-time highest rating of the entire series.
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That show has been off the air for years now.
 
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darkwingosonichugorl said:
Never. Lucas can't even talk to a woman. Even in clearly platonic situations, he has to look away and meekly avoid women. Sadly, Lucas' extremely high inhibition saves him from doing anything serious.
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Also the fact his cock measures 2 inches means it’s hard to really know if it would constitute a rape 🤷🏻‍♂️😂
 
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darkwingosonichugorl said:
Never. Lucas can't even talk to a woman. Even in clearly platonic situations, he has to look away and meekly avoid women. Sadly, Lucas' extremely high inhibition saves him from doing anything serious.
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Thats Wern 1.0 though back in his preliminary beta testing days. Wern 2.0 will just say exactly what he thinks unfiltered to a horrified audience
 
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Da Dude123 said:
That show has been off the air for years now.
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He's back at it under a different show name, on Youtube rather than cable TV. He just did a really controversial episode that entrapped some virgin nerd aged barely 18 into sexting with a girl three years younger. The comments were pure outrage at the crew rather than at the kid they caught.

Too bad he didn't just go after The Wern instead. Guaranteed gold.
 
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darkwingosonichugorl said:
Never. Lucas can't even talk to a woman. Even in clearly platonic situations, he has to look away and meekly avoid women. Sadly, Lucas' extremely high inhibition saves him from doing anything serious.
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I 100% feel that lucas will never act physically on his feelings towards young women. He has proven year after year that he is a gigantic pussy that can't even approach a "hi, im Lucas" line. In seeing him in public, it cements my thoughts that he is harmless in real life. Yes, he went to jail years ago for the Suzanne/soda/teen pussy chimp out, but ever since then, he's not gotten into any trouble with authorities except for getting a talking to about not being allowed at the park after he was trespassed for screaming.
 
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Josef Mengele said:
He rebranded it in like 2019 or 2016. It is now called Hansen vs. predators he is on CrimeWatchDaily now.
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'do I seem like a dishonest, dirty person to you?'

*Cut to Chris Hansen's face, the answer written all over it*

'tell me who you are...'

'I'm Chris Hansen.'

*cue The Who*

Yeeeeaaaa
IMG_20210118_133033.png
 
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Trainwreck said:
I 100% feel that lucas will never act physically on his feelings towards young women. He has proven year after year that he is a gigantic pussy that can't even approach a "hi, im Lucas" line. In seeing him in public, it cements my thoughts that he is harmless in real life. Yes, he went to jail years ago for the Suzanne/soda/teen pussy chimp out, but ever since then, he's not gotten into any trouble with authorities except for getting a talking to about not being allowed at the park after he was trespassed for screaming.
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He has IRL tried the "Hi (followed by a compliment) approach. In one of Goldoar's Weekly Werns he was in the process of leaving a message to the Spokane girl when some women walked by. He said "Hi" to them and 1 of them said Hi back. He followed with "I like your (paused likely eyeballing her up and down looking for something to compliment) then said -coat. The woman did not respond back.

ETA:
Also keep in mind what led to the Freak getting banned from HOC this last time. He wasn't a "pussy" and made a move on the nurse demanding her phone no. and went psycho when she didn't give it to him.
ETA2:
In my book HOC dropped the ball when they just kicked him out. They should have called the cops on his mangy ass.
 
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