Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

Just a little taste of the side project i'm working on, which is a small platformer/rpg where you play as the wern, explore parts of spokane to live lucas's life and experience his failure as you collect items to help in his insane love quest and try to get flatbills to stop hoarding the info

wernsample.jpg


That is just one frame out of what is going to be an idle animation for lucas, where if you sit idle for any length of time he pulls out a bowl of noodles and starts stuffing his face with them with his 'chopsticks.' Inspired by trainwrecks avatar

I thought the granny toque was somehow appropriate, but there will be levels where the wern is dressed very differently. The baldspot will be making an appearance

EDIT:

First test run. Needs some work but you get the idea

AnimatedLucas.gif
 
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Okay so I have a new theory, that sort of builds off of other theories we've all had about the Wern -- my apologies if someone has said this before. My theory is that Lucas doesn't actually want a zoomer bae, or any girlfriend (or boyfriend/partner) of any kind. I've said before that I firmly believe that Lucas is straight, maybe bicurious at most. I don't doubt that he may have done something sexual with a guy before (likely Jason), but I think that he would only do something like that for either acceptance of his peers, or to get something else out of it, like food, a place to stay, etc. But my theory isn't about whether he likes men or not because even if Lucas is truly bi, I still don't think that would change the fact that he doesn't actually want an SO. Here's some reasons why:
  • Lucas himself has said multiple times that he never has approached or sought out women to date. The only confirmed women we know of him being with are the women he was essentially FWB with that he met online and lost his virginity to, and Suzanne. With the woman online it sounds like she was more just bored than anything, and with Suzanne, she was the one who sought out Lucas and then took care of him until she realized just how psychotic he is. And even though Lucas was livid when Suzanne dumped him, he didn't seem sad, nor did he ever really attempt to mend the relationship. In the video "While You Were Busy Getting Everything I Deserve", Lucas says that when Suzanne first served him the no contact order, he could have gotten her back by just going up to her and kissing her and telling her he loved her, but instead he tore it up and stormed out and had to be removed by the cops. Now, whether he could have fixed the relationship by doing just that, who knows, but I would be willing to bet Suzanne would have forgiven him for the restaurant incident if he had apologized, begged her to stay, etc. But of course he didn't, because he didn't truly care about her or the relationship, he just liked having someone to take care of him and liked being able to say he had a girlfriend.
  • Since Suzanne, Lucas' new requirements for a woman have gone from unreasonable/unlikely to laughably, stupidly impossible. First he said a woman between 16 and 26, and quickly changed that to 18 to 26 after receiving backlash for trying to date children. At that time, he essentially had no other requirements aside from that the woman must want to get married. He talked about wanting kids but early on he always said that choice would ultimately be up to the woman. Since then, he has added (over time) all of the following requirements for his girlfriend (note that he meets none of these himself):
    • Absolutely, perfectly supermodel gorgeous
    • In "absolute perfect health"
    • Cannot be "agephobic", "classist", etc. This wouldn't seem like too bad of a requirement except that Lucas doesn't know what those words mean and makes up his own definitions which are not only stupid and irrational, but also change constantly. Basically the woman needs to be able to read his mind and do exactly what he wants and is thinking at all times.
    • Must be between 18 and 24 (he has no clear rationale for suddenly eliminating 25 and 26 year olds)
    • Cannot have any children but must be willing to bear HIS children
    • Must want to get married
    • Must be okay with dating a mentally ill homeless man who is only progressively and tangibly getting worse
    • Must be okay with either being the sole breadwinner, or with both of them and their eventual children living completely off of SSI
    • Cannot have any male friends unless those friends are gay, and even then we know Lucas wouldn't be okay with her spending time alone with them
    • Must never tell Lucas that she loves any other men, even platonically. This includes the woman's father, brothers, uncles, cousins, and other family members, lifelong friends, celebrities, and God/Jesus.
  • Lucas has proven to us all time and again that he is "smarter" and more capable that he seems, at least that he can act that way when he needs to. This makes me think about several things: for one thing, he absolutely refuses to go up to women in public or attempt to actually ask women out in a way that might work. But then he jumps at the chance to go all in with catfish. I wonder if some part of him knows deep down when someone is trolling him and he just doesn't care; he thinks that best case scenario he'll get a girlfriend out of it, and worst case he gets more "proof" that everyone and their mother is out to get him, the world is evil, Gen Z is horrible, etc. And I think he knows the latter is much more likely. Then with his whole thing about always being cockblocked, I know part of that is that he is a schizophrenic who sees and hears things that aren't there, but it's clear that it's also partially an excuse, because not only is he too much of a pussy to approach women, he is also way too lazy, and he knows it. I think he also knows that a relationship, even if it was exactly what he says he wants, would be too much work and he wouldn't want to do that work.
  • Going off of the last point, remember those screenshots I posted in the last couple days, of him blocking my burner account which was 100% everything he says he wants, and was someone who was kind to him? Sure his reasoning might be that I didn't immediately ask him to be my husband, but I think it's more than that. Every time a women he should find suitable comes out of the woodwork, either online or in person like at college, he almost INSTANTLY comes up with a reason to block them, write them off, etc. Sometimes there might be other reasons, like he hallucinates a man "scooping 12 chicks", but that is not happening every time. Lucas always, without fail, comes up with reasons it couldn't possibly work, even with women who SHOULD be someone that he would at least WANT to make it work with. I know he's a classic narcissist, but with how he bases literally every single aspect of his life around wanting a girlfriend, you'd think he would at least try to make it work in some way.
Anyway... Point being whether Lucas realizes it or not I don't think he actually wants a girlfriend. I don't know why he thinks he does so much but I don't think he actually wants that. More than anything he wants to be able to complain about his life and get sympathy, he doesn't actually care about anything else, including what he refers to as his "pussy pursuit".
 
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mothman96 said:
There is something about his face, his eyes that says ladies run.

View attachment 1855959
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They don't point in the same direction half the time, and his pupils NEVER get any smaller than that. I won't go into different sizes as everyone's eyes are slightly differently sized or crooked to some degree, but his don't point in the goddamned same direction at least 50% of the time.

Even in bright sunlight, his pupils never get smaller than in that picture.

He also has nearly dead eyes in terms of light, like the kind you only see in people who have severe and untreated mental illness, severe trauma, or just straight up brain damage to some degree; there's that lack of "correct" looking light and almost fixed thousand yard stare at nothing that's incredibly unsettling to other people.
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I mean look at this, this is uncanny valley level shit.

He thinks people not making eye contact with him means they're lying when it's probably that they're worried he'll tear their face off with his oversized fake teeth if they make eye contact because he'll tweak out and consider it aggression or something.
 
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klickitat said:
They don't point in the same direction half the time, and his pupils NEVER get any smaller than that. I won't go into different sizes as everyone's eyes are slightly differently sized or crooked to some degree, but his don't point in the goddamned same direction at least 50% of the time.

Even in bright sunlight, his pupils never get smaller than in that picture.

He also has nearly dead eyes in terms of light, like the kind you only see in people who have severe and untreated mental illness, severe trauma, or just straight up brain damage to some degree; there's that lack of "correct" looking light and almost fixed thousand yard stare at nothing that's incredibly unsettling to other people.

I mean look at this, this is uncanny valley level shit.

He thinks people not making eye contact with him means they're lying when it's probably that they're worried he'll tear their face off with his oversized fake teeth if they make eye contact because he'll tweak out and consider it aggression or something.
Click to expand...
What creeps me out is that is likely the look in his eyes/face when he's eyeballing underage girls.

ETA:
You are right about his dead eyes in terms of light. I'd say it due to the darkness in him, no light.
 
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mothman96 said:
The black community in Spokane should find out the narcissistic hypocrite Pedo Freak Lucas Werner uses/steps on MLK to try and manipulate the Gen Z girls to fuck him
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Yes. This. It's appalling that the same asshole who uses the N word (with the hard R) has the audacity to try to use MLK's image and legacy to try to pick up on underage girls. I would LOVE to see him confronted on this. He'd probably burst into tears and beg them not to kick his ass.

WonderWino said:
Just a little taste of the side project i'm working on, which is a small platformer/rpg where you play as the wern, explore parts of spokane to live lucas's life and experience his failure as you collect items to help in his insane love quest and try to get flatbills to stop hoarding the info
Click to expand...
He looks like a grown up Cartman, which is very fitting.


Edit: typo
 
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IceQueen said:
  • Lucas himself has said multiple times that he never has approached or sought out women to date. The only confirmed women we know of him being with are the women he was essentially FWB with that he met online and lost his virginity to, and Suzanne. With the woman online it sounds like she was more just bored than anything, and with Suzanne, she was the one who sought out Lucas and then took care of him until she realized just how psychotic he is. And even though Lucas was livid when Suzanne dumped him, he didn't seem sad, nor did he ever really attempt to mend the relationship. In the video "While You Were Busy Getting Everything I Deserve", Lucas says that when Suzanne first served him the no contact order, he could have gotten her back by just going up to her and kissing her and telling her he loved her, but instead he tore it up and stormed out and had to be removed by the cops. Now, whether he could have fixed the relationship by doing just that, who knows, but I would be willing to bet Suzanne would have forgiven him for the restaurant incident if he had apologized, begged her to stay, etc. But of course he didn't, because he didn't truly care about her or the relationship, he just liked having someone to take care of him and liked being able to say he had a girlfriend.
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I disagree on Suzanne. First off, there's definitely important info that Lucas is leaving out about why they broke up and Suzanne getting a no contact order. I really doubt Suzanne would have successfully got that order just because Lucas threw a glass. You need proof to get that through, probably a lot because Suzanne also had mental problems and it's not an easy process that you'd just do for the hell of it. Also, Lucas admitted in another video that he tried to mend things with Suzanne numerous times, once going to her job and berating her after having the order and getting arrested again. Lucas is dumb, but he's high-inhibition and terrified of cops, so he was desperate to win her back. So, I don't buy that Lucas didn't want to keep Suzanne around, at least as a Mommy role.

The Suzanne saga is the one thing I really wish we could learn more lore on, because I think it pieces together a lot of the Lucas Colby Werner shattered brain puzzle. I concur that all this NEED GEN Z FECUND BAE NOW shit is an act, and Lucas probably knows it's an impossible quest that he does for some reason. Maybe to hide he's gay/bi. Maybe some crazy thing to do to cope with dying alone. Maybe it's just because he's terrified of women after the Suzanne situation where he genuinely thinks he did nothing wrong. Maybe some victim fetish where he enjoys the negative attention. Who knows.
 
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darkwingosonichugorl said:
The Suzanne saga is the one thing I really wish we could learn more lore on, because I think it pieces together a lot of the Lucas Colby Werner shattered brain puzzle. I concur that all this NEED GEN Z FECUND BAE NOW shit is an act, and Lucas probably knows it's an impossible quest that he does for some reason. Maybe to hide he's gay/bi. Maybe some crazy thing to do to cope with dying alone. Maybe it's just because he's terrified of women after the Suzanne situation where he genuinely thinks he did nothing wrong. Maybe some victim fetish where he enjoys the negative attention. Who knows.
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I don't believe it's an act. He does want a girlfriend/wife. He wants what he cannot provide for himself (security) and he received from Suzanne -but he wants it from a girl young enough to be his daughter. Suzanne took care of him, gave him sex, put a roof over his head, food in the pantry/fridge , drove him around and took him out to restaurants etc. He schizo brain does believe his sperm will produce a super children and all he has to do is impregnate an 18 yr old to prove it. I'd say all the time he was with Suzanne it was mainly for the security she provided but what he really wanted was a young girl. When he saw the man with the 2 young girls at the restaurant he couldn't hold it the rage that the man had what he didn't and threw the glass at the wall. This was it for Suzanne and she kicked him out.
You are right, when Lucas saw she was serious about wanting him out he did want to mend things with Suzanne. He said something about wanting to marry her. I'd say it was because without her he was homeless out on his own.
 
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The anticipation for 2.0 is killing me. He's spent 8 years straight doing hardcore dedicated PHD level research out of the homeless shelters to find the perfect approach to obtaining poonaner and he's finally found the ultimate 100% guaranteed to work method of enacting 2.0.

I feel like 2.0 is going to be him forcing himself to awkwardly approach the first bae in sight and force out his "Hi im Lucas" while staring at his shoes in alpha silverback fashion and if by some miracle this doesnt work then he will definately have prepared for it in the beta tests

I'm expecting to see like 20 or so new pages tomorrow
 
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So we're all assuming that "Wern 2.0" involves him actually heading to the college, as in physically, right?

Does anybody remember what time his classes are today, so we can get a general idea of when this much-hoped-for chimpout's going to occur?

Occurrrrrrrrrrrr! (Kill me. It makes the hairs on my neck stand on end when he rolls the "R" in "occur".....or uses any "zoomer slang", which he gets almost as wrong, though for entirely different reasons, than Russell Greer....or makes those "most punchable face ever" faces.... or eats.....etc etc etc)
 
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GleamingTheQ-Bert said:
So we're all assuming that "Wern 2.0" involves him actually heading to the college, as in physically, right?

Does anybody remember what time his classes are today, so we can get a general idea of when this much-hoped-for chimpout's going to occur?

Occurrrrrrrrrrrr! (Kill me. It makes the hairs on my neck stand on end when he rolls the "R" in "occur".....or uses any "zoomer slang", which he gets almost as wrong, though for entirely different reasons, than Russell Greer....or makes those "most punchable face ever" faces.... or eats.....etc etc etc)
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He said he has 2 hrs between classes to enact Wern 2.0. His HED class is 11:30 am to 12:20 pm. The other class must be biology, but it was to be online with no set class time. So don't know if ended up with a different class.

ETA:
If the biology is early morning, the class ends at 9:20 am. This gives him the 2 hrs (9:20 to 11:30) to go Wern 2.0.
 
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