Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[WonderWino]

Personally I'm 100% for the 1920s Lucas arc. Watching him unintentionally say a bunch of racist shit would be a nice little side plot. He just needs a 3XL one of these to complete the Gatsby aesthetic

Just replace gatsbys obsession with daisy with an obsession with gen z and it makes alot of sense. He wouldn't even need pomade to slick back what little hair he has left

Absolutely! Him mooing about how he is plenty good and that the government will pay him to have kids. I would love to kick sand in his face. Such a fat low status male. Total burden on society.

The best part is even if by some horrifying miracle he did have kids, cps would take them from him the second they were born. Can you imagine the reeing he would do at that point? cockblocked by cps itself calling him an unfit father with no suitable housing for kids

Lucas would have loved Creepy Crawlers as a kid, as he loves shoving shit into ovens and having gross garbage come out

Plus the name fits him perfectly

Also those ovens are great for making homemade fishing bait

Loving the gigantic pink tarp he is wearing in this

Come on now, thats not pink its salmon. Thats a tough, masculine, manly fish that will kill itself in the name of trying to breed.....much like lucas

 

[Wernology]

He's still saying he weighs around "220".

Ok, fatty. Your police report has you at 297 and you've only gained weight since then.

I'm still stuck on him thinking cishet means you're a man who supports the patriarchy, though.
I'd say someone should tell him all it means is someone who identifies with the gender they were born as and is heterosexual.

That is, if we believe him when he screeches about how straight he is, exactly what he is.

Bet the only reason he never tried to pronounce lgbtq as an acronym is because it doesn't have any vowels.

He IS mad af about that shirt though and it's great.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

I just re- listened to Lucas's geek room podcast, and something stuck out to me that I'd meant to mention before, but I'll just say it now: does everybody remember when Lucas was exhorting young girls to only call him sweetheart sweetie and baby?

In this podcast, Lucas exclusively uses the word sweetheart as something to patronize the 2 women that he wants to shut up.

He only uses the word in the most condescending context, exactly the way women DON'T like to hear the word sweetheart.

So the idea that Lucas thinks sweetheart is a word of love, when he only uses it in this negative context, it's just another brick of hypocrisy in his wall I guess.

I mean I suppose at this point I shouldn't be surprised by all of the lack of consistency that Lucas has, but it still surprises me how someone who repeats the same few things so often cannot think them through a little bit more.

 

[WonderWino]

"I Would Be A Great Dad"

Spoiler: Archive

View attachment 1901024

Fuckin' ninja'd by @Gaear Grimsrud... Dammit.

'Its not a skill you forget....I might have to relearn it....a little'

We can now add what forgetting something means to the list of things lucas does not understand

He's a walking stereotype of a predatory male feminist

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

Just replace gatsbys obsession with daisy with an obsession with gen z and it makes alot of sense. He wouldn't even need pomade to slick back what little hair he has left

Much like Gatsby, Lucas also spends his life trying to lure a woman who just isn't in the cards, and like Gatsby, Lucas will also likely die as a result of it.

Also, appropriate comparing him to DiCaprio since both he and Lucas seem to have a creepy older daddy crush on Greta Thunberg.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Much like Gatsby, Lucas also spends his life trying to lure a woman who just isn't in the cards, and like Gatsby, Lucas will also likely die as a result of it.

Also, appropriate comparing him to DiCaprio since both he and Lucas seem to have a creepy older daddy crush on Greta Thunberg.

Gatsby beats ON, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

Lucas just beats off.

 

[A whole lotta nope]

This is one of his best videos in a long time. Pure distilled Lucas without any of the bullshit.

I love how just changing diapers is what he seems to think child rearing involves. Raising a child is A LOT of work. Lucas hates work. I wouldn't trust Lucas to care for a house plant. Great dad my ass. I'm glad no woman will touch him because the thought of Lucas being responsible for another life is horrifying.

In the video he also says that he'll cook and clean. We've all seen his food and the disgusting state of his fartbox when he had it. Dude's totally inept.

He has NOTHING to offer.

 

[IceQueen]

Its stupid SJW-speak, but it's CIS-HET, NOT -SHET you assclown.

HET- being short for Heterosexual, obviously.

Let's see how long Lucas will mispronounce this. It only took him 3 years to stop mispronouncing misogyny, so....

He also said “cishet means a cisgender, heterosexual male” uh, no, it has nothing to do with being male. Cishet literally just means anyone who is cisgendered and heterosexual, where tf did he even get the idea that it only applied to men lmao

I love how just changing diapers is what he seems to think child rearing involves. Raising a child is A LOT of work. Lucas hates work. I wouldn't trust Lucas to care for a house plant. Great dad my ass. I'm glad no woman will touch him because the thought of Lucas being responsible for another life is horrifying.

In the video he also says that he'll cook and clean. We've all seen his food and the disgusting state of his fartbox when he had it. Dude's totally inept.

He has NOTHING to offer.

He has said before that you can basically just leave babies alone, you don’t have to do anything besides feed and change them a couple times a day. It actually is almost comforting because it seems to show that maybe he actually was not around his nieces and nephews much when they were babies.

 

[Bad Take Crucifier]

>Tries to fuck kids
>I would be a great dad

I wish he was actually a father so he could experience the pain of 40-year-old greasy jobless creeps trying to fuck his teenage daughter.

 

[mero]

In his newest video, "Just admit I'd be a good dad."


Yea the schizo bipolar homeless autist who eats off the sidewalk, spends all his money on retarded shit, and can't even take care of himself in the most basic ways, would be a good dad.

I want him to talk a ton more about this. I wanna know what he thinks a great dad is, in detail, and how much of it he gets from King Roy. Boys get a whole lot of their idea of masculine roles from their fathers as long as they have one/an equivalent around, and Luke did, although if he were my kid I'd be busy doing yard work 25 hours a day just in case he wanted to spend time with me. Wonder if his idea of a Great Dad emulates Roy or tries to oppose it?

 

[mothman96]

>Tries to fuck kids
>I would be a great dad

I wish he was actually a father so he could experience the pain of 40-year-old greasy jobless creeps trying to fuck his teenage daughter.

Lucas would have gotten to his daughter first.

 

[Bad Take Crucifier]

Lucas would have gotten to his daughter first.

Yeah, in fairness if he had a daughter, he would probably be like this guy:

 

[wenttobermuda]

Lucas isn't Gatsby, so much as Don Quixote, or Humbert Humbert. Perhaps bits of Sheriff Lou Ford, Ignatius J Reilly, and Jo Stoyte. Comparing Lucas to fictional characters delights the mincing English undergrad in me. What're some others? Let us compose essays. I'll grade 'em.

Absolutely! Him mooing about how he is plenty good and that the government will pay him to have kids. I would love to kick sand in his face. Such a fat low status male. Total burden on society.

Agreed. The time for fascination and laughter is over.

Spoiler: not moti, just a chimp on the internet

It is no secret that Lucas Colby Werner, aka Fat Faggot, is a burden on our chimpanzee troop. He cannot feed himself. He has grown fat off free food. Worse still, it's been settled that he isn't breeding, ever, but he's not getting the message and won't shut up about mating with the adolescent females.

This weak, ungrateful low status male is making too much noise, and disturbing the troop. We have a biological imperative to do something about it. It may be messy.

Now, checking Lucas will enhance our group bonds, and reinforce our own status as coaltionary males and high status females under our alpha @klickitat. The troop will function better. The little ones will be safer.

You know what to do. It's instinct.

Prolonged torture, sodomy, and eating someone while they're alive...are gauche, beneath our primate dignity, so please don't get carried away. It will be enough to make him show his belly in submission, and maybe kick sand in his face or give him a purple nurple and a wet willy or two. He'll know his place, and we'll show ours, and celebrate by having a sweaty orgy.

Of course, if you do get carried away, and maybe bite off a finger or two or otherwise disfigure him, it's ok. These things happen.

 

[AbraCadaver]

Just replace gatsbys obsession with daisy with an obsession with gen z and it makes alot of sense. He wouldn't even need pomade to slick back what little hair he has left



The best part is even if by some horrifying miracle he did have kids, cps would take them from him the second they were born. Can you imagine the reeing he would do at that point? cockblocked by cps itself calling him an unfit father with no suitable housing for kids



Plus the name fits him perfectly

Also those ovens are great for making homemade fishing bait



Come on now, thats not pink its salmon. Thats a tough, masculine, manly fish that will kill itself in the name of trying to breed.....much like lucas

I’m torn, I don’t know that Lucas WOULD care about his kids being taken away. The minute they were born, he would learn exactly why new parents look like haggard zombies for the first year...endless crying, endless nightly feedings, etc etc.

Lucas would get a real dose of just how much work a baby is and he’d immediately throw it at the mother and demand she do it because he’s just too busy “supporting her” by offering footrubs and fisting sex when she staggers, exhausted, into the bedroom every night.

I don’t think Lucas wants kids. Lucas wants to HAVE kids. He wants to point to successful procreation and prove that he’s not the bottom of the barrel Omega male we all know he is. He sexed a woman! He made a baby! Lucas MADE SOMETHING! Something that doesn’t end up in a toilet!

He links all his virility and purpose as a man to making a baby, not raising it. The baby is just proof he’s Plenty Good. Also the baby can be useful by bringing in an extra dole cheque, or tying a young woman to his side so he has access to sex when he wants it. The baby might make Roy take him back into Roy’s wonderful house that Lucas states is filled with “televisions, couches and plenty of food.”

The baby is useful, but not entirely the end point of this. The point is simply to procreate and then let someone else raise his child while Lucas beats his chest and sticks his itty-bitty miniature penis out and proudly states that HE MADE A BABY IN A WOMAN, HE IS PLENTY GOOD NOW.

It will never ever happen, thankfully. But if it did, I think he wouldn’t be too brokenhearted about having the screaming, crying, puking thing taken away after a few sleepless nights. Especially if it was a boy. Lucas really only wants a kid for the long-term if it’s a molestable girlchild, because he is a fucking monster.

 

[moseph.jartelli]

I get the feeling Dorothy either left the shelter or told him to fuck off. He's back to his old 'Steal yo chick' bullshit that the submissive fat faggot would never try. He couldn't even get Wern 2.0 off the ground and abandoned it after a day.

 

[Stilgar of Troon]

I'd genuinely love to see this fat faggot in a position where he couldn't turn and run away from a debate or start reeeeing to avoid answering questions he doesn't like. He's good (not really) at ranting a soliloquy to camera, but I wonder how he'd fare in a debate he coudn't weasel out of; like, if he had to articulate his points clearly and back them up on a factual basis, I wonder how long it'd take before his narrative fell to pieces?

 

[WonderWino]

I get the feeling Dorothy either left the shelter or told him to fuck off. He's back to his old 'Steal yo chick' bullshit that the submissive fat faggot would never try. He couldn't even get Wern 2.0 off the ground and abandoned it after a day.

'Your boyfriends are making you shitty ass jail food'

.....as opposed to horrifying hobo food?

That video sounds like hes describing himself

EDIT:

First he claimed he was going to get 80% on his bio assignment. Now suddenly he's claiming that is somehow exactly what he got, while not actually showing the graded assignment and flipping through his notes, which are practically incomprehensible and resemble the way he wrote his schizo teen baiting notes that he would leave with his candy and food for little girls, right down to weird boxes off to the side with random things written in them

Seeing his notes like that tells me everything I need to know. If he is doing that with his notes he's doing the same thing with assignments and tests. No fucking way he legitimately got 80% doing that

 

[Wernology]

It's nice to see him back to normal after his brief stint of thinking he was worth something when he got paid a tiny pittance to humiliate himself on a podcast and in clearly made up "beef/callout" videos.

Always love a weekend slow burn meltdown from Lucas.

(And I agree, Dorothy probably either left the shelter and/or also told him to fuck off or laughed in his face if he somehow managed to work up the nerve to awkwardly ask her to 'eat dinner' with him.)

 

[CrazyAsHell]

I swear, I have NEVER heard someone like him try to justify wanting to fuck someone who is young enough to be his daughter the way he does. It's like a fucking disgusting cake with an ingredients list such as pedo juice, left-wing bullshit, non-edible "food", telewhateverthefuckitis, and a healthy helping of screaming. He is THE most disgusting human (barely) being I have ever listened to or read about.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

I get the feeling Dorothy either left the shelter or told him to fuck off. He's back to his old 'Steal yo chick' bullshit that the submissive fat faggot would never try. He couldn't even get Wern 2.0 off the ground and abandoned it after a day.

I think this too. Dorothy not being interested, while also being ignored at college, has him on edge.