Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[WonderWino]

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A one page double spaced opinion piece, what a challenge. Hopefully it doesn't cut into his time working on that longest dissertation ever that we haven't heard anything else about. Better get started on that before the beetus takes your fingers Lucas.

What kind of college bio class makes you do one page opinion pieces on subjective memes that don't even make any sense?

I don't see why he would even be getting an assignment like this

 

[Nobleman]

.

$4 lambchops in spokane? Are they freezer burned and past their expiration date or fished out of a dumpster or something? Lamb is expensive as fuck here, and i'm saying that as someone who lives close to several lamb farms. I don't think i've ever seen them that cheap.

The price shocked me at first as well, but then i saw that they are lamb SHOULDER chops, the bargain meat of a lamb. Probably a lot of bone in that package, and has to be cooked just right to.make it chewable and also they are easy to fuck up.

So Lucas of course will think he is fancy with his economy lamb and make anothet one of his infamous culinary abortions.

 

[Wernology]

.

The price shocked me at first as well, but then i saw that they are lamb SHOULDER chops, the bargain meat of a lamb. Probably a lot of bone in that package, and has to be cooked just right to.make it chewable and also they are easy to fuck up.

So Lucas of course will think he is fancy with his economy lamb and make anothet one of his infamous culinary abortions.

Those are going to be impossibly tough done in a toaster oven.

Honestly, lamb shoulder chops are something I get as treats for my dogs, they're mostly bone with very little meat and fat and the stuff that is on there is super tough if you try to cook it quickly (or in a toaster oven). If I'm using it for something I'm doing, it basically is for making some kind of soup or stew stock and it's done on very low heat over several hours or overnight.

Lucas is gonna chip off his shitty fake teeth trying to gnaw through that.

 

[WonderWino]

Those are going to be impossibly tough done in a toaster oven.

Honestly, lamb shoulder chops are something I get as treats for my dogs, they're mostly bone with very little meat and fat and the stuff that is on there is super tough if you try to cook it quickly (or in a toaster oven). If I'm using it for something I'm doing, it basically is for making some kind of soup or stew stock and it's done on very low heat over several hours or overnight.

Lucas is gonna chip off his shitty fake teeth trying to gnaw through that.

When I read that I immediately thought of that black woman with the gorilla glue in her hair in that other thread and pictured lucas getting the same idea with his dentures and inadvertently gluing his mouth shut

Come to think of it I don't think i've ever had lamb shoulder chops but from what i've seen they are tiny and like you said likely to be very hard and dry, let alone the way he cooks them

Perhaps he will dump a block of cheese on them to try to keep them moist. or soak them in BBQ sauce

 

[AbraCadaver]

Thanks bro. I’m expecting my Gen Z ovulating kween any day now.

Don’t feel bad bro, my own dick is so small that I can’t even see it.

Because I’m a woman

View attachment 1911288

A one page double spaced opinion piece, what a challenge. Hopefully it doesn't cut into his time working on that longest dissertation ever that we haven't heard anything else about. Better get started on that before the beetus takes your fingers Lucas.

ONE PAGE DOUBLE SPACED. That’s not a “paper,” that’s a fucking shopping list. Let me guess, the instructor also ran Lucas through the challenges of “introduction, three paragraphs, end”? The kind of thing you learn when you’re 11?

Fuck, I’m imagining how much you could even say in one page double-spaced. That’s like, 12 lines of type. That’s not a paper. That’s a very long text message printed on paper. My teachers stopped accepting anything less than 3 pages double-spaced when I was 13.

What kind of super-tard remedial dumbarse class is Lucas in? Is there a “special ed” in american community college?

 

[Rescuetoast]

He can say what he wants until someone makes an issue of it. All it takes to put a stop to implied threats from a lunatic like lucas is for the wrong female student to see that and be aware of his history of violence toward women and his reason for being at the school being centered around women. She reports it and the school puts a stop to it, with police involvement if necessary. They're legally obligated to as a matter of student safety. If they try to push it under the rug said student need only contact a few feminst and womens rights or anti womens domestic violence groups, as well as the media and cause all kinds of problems for the school. They're not going pick defending an abusive, insane pedo sped like lucas as their hill to die on

Not that I expect any students to know enough or care enough about lucas's behavior, barring him spazzing out on some woman on campus and causing a big scene, but lucas should be careful about making those kinds of threats. It only takes pissing off one person to make an issue of it

Those are going to be impossibly tough done in a toaster oven.

Honestly, lamb shoulder chops are something I get as treats for my dogs, they're mostly bone with very little meat and fat and the stuff that is on there is super tough if you try to cook it quickly (or in a toaster oven). If I'm using it for something I'm doing, it basically is for making some kind of soup or stew stock and it's done on very low heat over several hours or overnight.

Lucas is gonna chip off his shitty fake teeth trying to gnaw through that.

Yeah, they’re pretty much good for dog food and bone broth. Even someone with culinary skills would be hard pressed to make them edible in a toaster oven.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

It's at the end of the "Lucas pisses all over the bathroom and doesn't wash his hands" video. It wasn't roll on deodorant, but it was deodorant.

If the embed doesn't start at the timestamp it's https://youtu.be/qSpu4YrFgc8?t=579

Edit: Forgot I'd age restricted it, it's at the link above.

Okay, thanks for posting the deodorant video, but just what is going on in the video after he licks the deodorant? Is my mind in the gutter, or does there seem to be a lot of up-and-down motion on the camera and some kind of suspicious friction sound?

 

[moseph.jartelli]

The paper is for his health class not biology. The only health class I ever had to take was in high school for one semester and it was pretty basic bullshit that was mandatory. Didnt have to take it in college


Lol someone stole all his seasonings and sauces

 

[Wernology]

Okay, thanks for posting the deodorant video, but just what is going on in the video after he licks the deodorant? Is my mind in the gutter, or does there seem to be a lot of up-and-down motion on the camera and some kind of suspicious friction sound?

He was either beating it or he was pretending he was fucking a woman that doesn't exist.

Either way, nasty.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Update on the lambicide: Lucas had to season it with plain table salt, because "some jagoff" stole his sauces and spices.

He forced the staff to help him look for his spices and Sauces for 2 hours!

Those poor bastards aren't being paid near enough!

Im raising my glass to "Some Jagoff" tonight!

Edit: is he putting already cooked Minute Rice in the toaster oven? Along with the raw lamb? I mean the rice is going to be rock hard and dried out, obviously. I don't understand lucas' mind, but one of the recent things that makes the least sense to me is his need to cook everything, on one sheet, all at once. I guess it's because his appetite can't wait for multiple dishes to finish at different times?

 

[moseph.jartelli]

Update on the lambicide: Lucas had to season it with plain table salt, because "some jagoff" stole his sauces and spices.

He forced the staff to help him look for his spices and Sauces for 2 hours!

Those poor bastards aren't being paid near enough!

Im raising my glass to "Some Jagoff" tonight!

Edit: is he putting already cooked Minute Rice in the toaster oven? Along with the raw lamb? I mean the rice is going to be rock hard and dried out, obviously. I don't understand lucas' mind, but one of the recent things that makes the least sense to me is his need to cook everything in one dish all at once. I guess it's because his appetite can't wait for multiple dishes to finish at different times?

Yep. That rice is gonna be shit. Notice how every dish he cooks takes 25 minutes. No matter size, cut of meat, or ingrediants

 

[Telomere Savalas]

The paper is for his health class not biology. The only health class I ever had to take was in high school for one semester and it was pretty basic bullshit that was mandatory. Didnt have to take it in college


Lol someone stole all his seasonings and sauces

In "my day", health was something you took in place of PE/Gym for one semester. It was basically a mix of 50s "hygiene" and 80s "sex education". Being in the bible belt, you could get out of it with a parent's note.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

In "my day", health was something you took in place of PE/Gym for one semester. It was basically a mix of 50s "hygiene" and 80s "sex education". Being in the bible belt, you could get out of it with a parent's note.

Agreed, right?

Wasn't even aware colleges OFFERED health class, but if this assignment is any indication, the curriculum is probably "let people Express their opinions" (read: no wrong answers) and essentially keep them busy.... perfect. Craft time with crayons and safe-T scissors for the remedial set.

Edit: BTW, I imagine Telomere Savalas starring in the 70s detective show "Kockblock", where he plays a cocktail pep-sucking gumshoe who frequently quips "Who loves ya, Z? And where the party at? Specifically. SPECIFICALLY!" until someone cracks a "steel" baseball bat over his chromedome.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

What kind of super-tard remedial dumbarse class is Lucas in? Is there a “special ed” in american community college?

Lucas showing off his notes and mediocre graded assignments is starting to become a pretty lolworthy aspect of Wern watching. He's so very proud of himself for getting by in these classes that are designed to be a little more manageable than rigorous academia considering most of their student body is probably at different stages of life with work and kids.


Just saw that new cooking video. He made a sauce out of ketchup and mayo for the lamb shoulders. That sounds absolutely horrid as a marinade. He literally said he thinks these cooking vids might attract a lady. Yeah making frankenfood in a homeless shelter toaster oven is one sure fire way into a woman's heart. Nothing gets a lady going like watching a guy eat a mayo covered steak with his bare hands, gnawing on it like a coyote eating roadkill.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

The staff probably stole his seasonings as the subtle beginning of a campaign to stop Lucas from destroying the toaster oven.

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

For all Lucas’s culinary aspirations it hasn’t even occurred to him to actually look up recipes on his phone and try to legitimately cook something. Without even searching, I bet there is some site that even has recipes specifically to make in toaster ovens.

Lucas is just so low effort in every aspect of his life it’s astonishing.

 

[TurdFondler]

Health Class is probably one of those first year courses every student has to take, or at least every student in medical/health related fields. The classes are usually tailored to kids right out of high school and are more about getting into the habit of submitting work by a deadline and using some formatting rules. I bet you the essay content is bullshit but the formatting requirements are going to be a page and a half of instructions.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

You know, hearing Lucas bluntly state that he's doing these cooking videos to "attract a lady" is almost tragic. Just how incredibly stunted he is.

I honestly don't think I've ever seen a man with less insight into his fellow human beings, and what motivates them.

Chris Chan is quite functional compared to him.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

The paper is for his health class not biology. The only health class I ever had to take was in high school for one semester and it was pretty basic bullshit that was mandatory. Didnt have to take it in college

Lol someone stole all his seasonings and sauces

Health Class is probably one of those first year courses every student has to take, or at least every student in medical/health related fields. The classes are usually tailored to kids right out of high school and are more about getting into the habit of submitting work by a deadline and using some formatting rules. I bet you the essay content is bullshit but the formatting requirements are going to be a page and a half of instructions.

I had one my sophomore year of undergrad because I needed empty/elective credit hours so I picked some easy GPA fodder to offset my harder classes. It was basically "here's why smoking is bad and here are the kind of stress fractures you can get" paired with occasional days in the gym or rec fields. I got the implication it was low-key a class for student athletes.

But this little assignment will no doubt convince Lucas that he is now some expert on COVID-19.
Would be funny if he found a way to turn in something that talked about telomeres & COVID sluts though.

 

[Mia Graine]

When did 18-24 turn into 18-21?