Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Particle Bored]

Uh oh, Lucas. Now that youve got the Shanghai Shivers, its going to melt all your telomeres and eat all your spermies. However will you pass on your superior stronger DNA? Now even the one thing you had going for you in your quest for z puss-puss, the potency of your genetic material, the heartiness of your mature, aged telomerase, has been taken from you by the Chinese virus. Not only are your spermatozoa going to whither in your tiny necrotizing testicles, but instead your jizz will be laced with covid from China. Just look at all these studies! There are over 2300 studies from all over the world... China, Belize, Taiwan, Netherlands, El Salvador, China, Morocco, Latvia, Malawi, Japan, Albania, but oddly nothing from China.



With one positive test your name gets distributed to all student groups to advise them of your status as a Pandemic Enhancing Derelict Offender, and that sex with you will give them and any potential children covid even after youve fully recovered from the Chinese virus. The most embarassing part though will be that he's required by state mandate to notify anyone that he has to interact with that he is Covid-19 postive, for a full month after he's retested as negative. All because the Chinese didnt maintain safety at their bio research lab in China. That is of course its not the more obvious case, that it is China and Trump making a deal with China to secretly release the Chinese virus to sabotage Biden who is totally paid off by China? Typical Chinese capitalists.

https://www.healio.com/news/primary-care/20210129/covid19-reduces-fertility-in-men-study-suggests

https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2021/01/28/health/sperm-male-fertility-covid-19-wellness/index.html

https://www.forbes.com/sites/victoriaforster/2020/11/15/covid-19-compromises-sperm-count-and-quality-in-recovering-patients/amp/

COVID-19 Can Infect Testes with Potential Implications for Male...

COVID-19 can invade testis tissue in some men who are infected with the virus, according to a new study by University of Miami Miller School of Medicine researchers published in The World Journal of Men's Health. These findings could be the first step in discovering COVID-19’s potential impact...

physician-news.umiamihealth.org

New Study Seeks to Confirm That COVID-19 Vaccine Does Not Affect Male Fertility

Research is underway to confirm that the COVID-19 vaccine does not affect male fertility

www.verywellfamily.com

 

[Wernology]

I'll probably be asleep by the time it finishes processing, but here's the rest of his trash from tonight.

@Fatal Walter , myself, and now the entire Geek Room all live in Lucas' head rent free.

 

[Dumpsterfire Enthusiast]

This is hands down one of the most autistic things that's ever come out of his mouth.

Late i know but his strategy for his whole communist revolution is hilarious. Taking over the country itself would be a dumb strategy because that would take effort but him and his mass coordinated crowd storms mcdonalds with assault rifles that they all just conveniently have and they all just work a shift there and split the cash is a brilliant strategy. Obviously the whole world would see a crowd pulling mass armed takeovers of mcdonalds as a great example of successful communism and want to join in. Personally i think he should go to burger king and declare himself as the new burger king, then once he has that oligarch status he can mass coordinate whatever he wants, who the fuck says no to the burger king?

 

[WonderWino]

Late i know but his strategy for his whole communist revolution is hilarious. Taking over the country itself would be a dumb strategy because that would take effort but him and his mass coordinated crowd storms mcdonalds with assault rifles that they all just conveniently have and they all just work a shift there and split the cash is a brilliant strategy. Obviously the whole world would see a crowd pulling mass armed takeovers of mcdonalds as a great example of successful communism and want to join in. Personally i think he should go to burger king and declare himself as the new burger king, then once he has that oligarch status he can mass coordinate whatever he wants, who the fuck says no to the burger king?

I can see it now: lucas holding his first public appearance on camera from the mcdonalds ballpit, calling on oppressed burger flippers to rebel against the flatbill oligarchy and declare him the new burger king, complete with paper crown. He then follows it up by announcing the immediate execution of the hamburglar for trying to steal cheeseburgers and thus robbing the revolutionary workers of their shared profits. Ronald mcdonald shortly thereafter announces the formation of his own counter revolutionary army of hobos and mcdonalds staff to retake the franchise locations and destroy the soviet peoples republic of mcdonalds. Truly a war of clown army against clown army

Ronald will not allow the children of mcdonaldland to fall under the iron bootheel of soviet mcdonalds agitators

and that brings up another point: mcdonaldland is home to ronald mcdonald, the mcdonald mascots and lots of children. Could lucas's soviet uprising be a cover to allow him to get access to young mcdonaldland zoomer baes that he can blackmail into becoming his wife by threatening to cut off the supply of mcdonalds food to the people? Either they surrender and give him what he wants or they don't and he has a hoard of mcdonalds food to gorge himself with. Either way he wins

.....The forces of ronald mcdonald eventually go on the offensive, of course. Leading to ronald himself dealing with the traitorous communist mcdonalds employees:

...Only to be captured himself by forces loyal to the revolutionaries and executed, including luca's loyal general shareef, following a failed attempt at ransom:

The wern himself was nowhere to be found, rumored to have been last seen waddling out the employee back entrance towards the local woods, with his loyal generals isaac and shareef to regroup and return with his hobo loyalists to destroy capitalism once and for all

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

The Wall Voices? Maybe what the wall voices are saying makes more sense than Lucas

But then again there is the background noise from some flatbill which bounces off the walls telling ladies to avoid the Wern

I don’t know how anyone is supposed to get how this works

Edit: The voices come from the flatbill hats

 

[mothman96]

Hey Lucas the Spokane Pedo Freak, eye raping every Gen Z girl you see does not equal being "a great studier of GenerationZ women".

 

[ThomasAudley]

Uh oh, Lucas. Now that youve got the Shanghai Shivers, its going to melt all your telomeres and eat all your spermies. However will you pass on your superior stronger DNA? Now even the one thing you had going for you in your quest for z puss-puss, the potency of your genetic material, the heartiness of your mature, aged telomerase, has been taken from you by the Chinese virus. Not only are your spermatozoa going to whither in your tiny necrotizing testicles, but instead your jizz will be laced with covid from China. Just look at all these studies! There are over 2300 studies from all over the world... China, Belize, Taiwan, Netherlands, El Salvador, China, Morocco, Latvia, Malawi, Japan, Albania, but oddly nothing from China.
View attachment 1938150View attachment 1938152View attachment 1938153View attachment 1938154


With one positive test your name gets distributed to all student groups to advise them of your status as a Pandemic Enhancing Derelict Offender, and that sex with you will give them and any potential children covid even after youve fully recovered from the Chinese virus. The most embarassing part though will be that he's required by state mandate to notify anyone that he has to interact with that he is Covid-19 postive, for a full month after he's retested as negative. All because the Chinese didnt maintain safety at their bio research lab in China. That is of course its not the more obvious case, that it is China and Trump making a deal with China to secretly release the Chinese virus to sabotage Biden who is totally paid off by China? Typical Chinese capitalists.

https://www.healio.com/news/primary-care/20210129/covid19-reduces-fertility-in-men-study-suggests

https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2021/01/28/health/sperm-male-fertility-covid-19-wellness/index.html

https://www.forbes.com/sites/victoriaforster/2020/11/15/covid-19-compromises-sperm-count-and-quality-in-recovering-patients/amp/

COVID-19 Can Infect Testes with Potential Implications for Male...

COVID-19 can invade testis tissue in some men who are infected with the virus, according to a new study by University of Miami Miller School of Medicine researchers published in The World Journal of Men's Health. These findings could be the first step in discovering COVID-19’s potential impact...

physician-news.umiamihealth.org

New Study Seeks to Confirm That COVID-19 Vaccine Does Not Affect Male Fertility

Research is underway to confirm that the COVID-19 vaccine does not affect male fertility

www.verywellfamily.com

He likely doesn’t understand this and if he does he’ll ignore it. There’s studies that indicate marijuana decreases your sperm count and fatty ignores it when confronted.

 

[WonderWino]

View attachment 1938512
The Wall Voices? Maybe what the wall voices are saying makes more sense than Lucas

But then again there is the background noise from some flatbill which bounces off the walls telling ladies to avoid the Wern

I don’t know how anyone is supposed to get how this works

Edit: The voices come from the flatbill hats
View attachment 1938530

'I'm not schizophrenic! Stop listening to the voices on the wind and the walls telling you what to do! Don't listen to what the walls tell you ladies of gen z! They are lying to you! The walls don't think I would make a good father! But I can cook! Take that you bigoted fucking walls!'

That he doesn't see how batshit insane and blatantly obviously schizophrenic that makes him sound speaks volumes as to his diminished mental state. No fucking way his doctors haven't told him such things are all in his head before

 

[Dumpsterfire Enthusiast]

I can see it now: lucas holding his first public appearance on camera from the mcdonalds ballpit, calling on oppressed burger flippers to rebel against the flatbill oligarchy and declare him the new burger king, complete with paper crown. He then follows it up by announcing the immediate execution of the hamburglar for trying to steal cheeseburgers and thus robbing the revolutionary workers of their shared profits. Ronald mcdonald shortly thereafter announces the formation of his own counter revolutionary army of hobos and mcdonalds staff to retake the franchise locations and destroy the soviet peoples republic of mcdonalds. Truly a war of clown army against clown army

Ronald will not allow the children of mcdonaldland to fall under the iron bootheel of soviet mcdonalds agitators

and that brings up another point: mcdonaldland is home to ronald mcdonald, the mcdonald mascots and lots of children. Could lucas's soviet uprising be a cover to allow him to get access to young mcdonaldland zoomer baes that he can blackmail into becoming his wife by threatening to cut off the supply of mcdonalds food to the people? Either they surrender and give him what he wants or they don't and he has a hoard of mcdonalds food to gorge himself with. Either way he wins

.....The forces of ronald mcdonald eventually go on the offensive, of course. Leading to ronald himself dealing with the traitorous communist mcdonalds employees:

...Only to be captured himself by forces loyal to the revolutionaries and executed, including luca's loyal general shareef, following a failed attempt at ransom:

The wern himself was nowhere to be found, rumored to have been last seen waddling out the employee back entrance towards the local woods, with his loyal generals isaac and shareef to regroup and return with his hobo loyalists to destroy capitalism once and for all

I'm just picturing how quickly it would turn into a brutal dictatorship if Lucas ever somehow were in charge of the country. It'd be like the 1984 scenario just instead of the "big brothers always watching" posters its just his attraction signs scattered everywhere and the secret police dragging any zoomer bae they see off to comrade Werns version of the ministry of love which would just be his own personal rape dungeon and all us flatbills would get exiled to Alaska.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

I'm just picturing how quickly it would turn into a brutal dictatorship if Lucas ever somehow were in charge of the country. It'd be like the 1984 scenario just instead of the "big brothers always watching" posters its just his attraction signs scattered everywhere and the secret police dragging any zoomer bae they see off to comrade Werns version of the ministry of love which would just be his own personal rape dungeon and all us flatbills would get exiled to Alaska.

We post on Kiwifarms.
Our execution would be swift.

Kim Jung Un actually has an arrangement that I think Lucas would like. Supposedly, he has a pleasure squad of young women that are recruited at a young age and service him sexually until they reach old age (somewhere between 22 and 25) at which point they are retired.

Tell me Lucas wouldn't be all over that.

Inside North Korea’s secret sex parties

Welcome to the secret high-class sex parties for North Korea’s elite, where schoolgirls as young as 13 are allegedly forced into servitude for their leaders’ pleasure. The girls are picked out at r…

nypost.com

KJU is literally living Lucas's dreamlife. I bet KJU even declares himself a scientist in a non-existent field of study.

KJU better yeet some of those atheist communist zoomer baes to fellow anticapitalist revolutionary The Wern or else he's just another socialist-in-name-only.

 

[Free the Pedos]

View attachment 1938512
The Wall Voices? Maybe what the wall voices are saying makes more sense than Lucas

But then again there is the background noise from some flatbill which bounces off the walls telling ladies to avoid the Wern

I don’t know how anyone is supposed to get how this works

Edit: The voices come from the flatbill hats
View attachment 1938530

I genuinely don’t understand. Is he saying that when he says something to a zoomer bae, the Voices tell her he’s being sarcastic, but he isn’t?

(as if he has the balls to speak to a woman.)

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

We post on Kiwifarms.
Our execution would be swift.

KJU is literally living Lucas's dreamlife. I bet KJU even declares himself a scientist in a non-existent field of study.

KJU better yeet some of those atheist communist zoomer baes to fellow anticapitalist revolutionary The Wern or else he's just another socialist-in-name-only.

You can say that again.

It’s just not in the cards Lucas. Your Cafeteria Uprising won’t get you your very own pleasure squad of zoomer baes. That’s what we all know you really want out of Communism, not some universal ideal for global solidarity and a brotherhood of man just the perks of being called dear leader and a demi-god status that allows you to kick back in your wildest fantasies of luxury while your subjects figure out how to pamper and service your every whim and desire.

 

[Amewsed]

I think it's far past time for someone with graphic design skills to make a garbage pail man Sir Mucas Lucas of Pukus card.

 

[A Big Bumbling Black Man]

I think it's far past time for someone with graphic design skills to make a garbage pail man Sir Mucas Lucas of Pukus card.

A mulletted toddler with a stained t-shirt that says "PUT WOMAN HERE" and an arrow pointing down at his groin, since he doesn't consider that enough, he's also pointing at his crotch. His expression is that of whining screaming insistence, and he's surrounded by hobo trash.

 

[Particle Bored]

He likely doesn’t understand this and if he does he’ll ignore it. There’s studies that indicate marijuana decreases your sperm count and fatty ignores it when confronted.

He's not supposed to understand it. He's supposed to start ranting against China.

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

What really frustrates me is his lack of gratefulness. He doesn't appreciate how much is being done for him. No, he thinks it is not enough and he should get more! Along with an 18 year old girlfriend. And those Christians who feed and house him? Screw them! No appreciation at all.

This may be the number one thing I can’t stand about Lucas. It’s a small thing in regards to everything to hate about him but it shows he doesn’t deserve anyones sympathy for his situation. He has been handed everything he has needed to survive and live a basic functioning life and not only does he fuck it up (like his stable living arrangement he had before he harassed his neighbors for puss puss) but he is so incredibly ungrateful for any of it. To Lucas, he deserves it all. You owe it to him for simply existing. It’s not enough he is provided a roof over his head and food in his belly, he deserves the lifestyle of a corporate CEO because they don’t do shit but steal the profits right? He is so insufferably dumb, selfish and ungrateful. The only thing he is deserving of is to be mocked mercilessly until it breaks through his impenetrable ego that he is nothing more than a mentally ill pedophile in desperate need of medication and therapy.

 

[LilBismyfriend]

it would appear the mask makes no difference if you're walking around with open MRSA sores

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

These must be the dude bros that Lucas keeps seeing talking through walls and hoarding all the women with meth.

 

[WonderWino]

So, how long do you think its going to be before he twists his asymptomatic covid infection around to mean that he has super strong dna cause of his age or some such nonsense and thats somehow why he is 'immune' despite the fact he can infect others

I can see it now: 'date me zoomer baes! I have covid but i'm immune to it because of my super dna! my super sperm can provide our babies with the same immunity! reee!'

 

[AbraCadaver]

I’m gonna go out on a limb and suppose FatAss posted the pics below - Wern 2021 and Wern 2017 - to show how he’s totally lost 200 pounds and is a 220 sexy beast. What I see is an awful lot of hard aging in only 4 years.

I saw the pictures first and deadass thought “god so much has changed for him in like 12 years, he looks awful, hasn’t aged well at all.” Then I realized those pictures are only four years apart. He looks like he aged 20 years in the space of 4!

But that’s a symptom of schizophrenia, so why are we surprised?

Late i know but his strategy for his whole communist revolution is hilarious. Taking over the country itself would be a dumb strategy because that would take effort but him and his mass coordinated crowd storms mcdonalds with assault rifles that they all just conveniently have and they all just work a shift there and split the cash is a brilliant strategy. Obviously the whole world would see a crowd pulling mass armed takeovers of mcdonalds as a great example of successful communism and want to join in. Personally i think he should go to burger king and declare himself as the new burger king, then once he has that oligarch status he can mass coordinate whatever he wants, who the fuck says no to the burger king?

I would definitely go eat at a store that had just been violently occupied by people with assault rifles and I’m sure LOADS of other customers would too.

Lucas would just be standing there with his dumb fat face slack-jawed. “I don’t get it! Why have the police cordoned off this block and why are potential customers fleeing? It’s like they think the building is occupied by lunatics with rifles who just forced their way in! Why doesn’t anyone want to buy a hamburger??”

Also I tried puzzling through the insane “wall voices” post. I think what he’s saying is that random flatbills sarcastically say they don’t want to date women....then the echo of that statement hangs around on the wall...then when Lucas walks by to talk to women, the women hear the echo of that sarcastic statement and take it as actual truth and they either think it’s coming from Lucas and are thus not interested in him, OR they think it’s their own thoughts about Lucas and ignore him.

“tee hee you can’t see me if I pretend you don’t! Tee hee hee.” That is, I think, the women ignoring Lucas’s creepy come ons and pretending not to notice him. They’re trying to pretend HE’S not there, but Lucas mistakes this as the women trying to pretend they themselves are invisible and are childishly assuming no one can see them when they’re pretending. You know, like adults totally do.

Also any man who thinks women go “tee hee hee” is a dumb fucker, btw.

So mister ALL WOMEN ARE BUDDHAS thinks that women have no real thoughts of their own, but instead hear the echoes of men’s words and those echoes enter their weak female brains and affect them and then they reject Lucas. (Reminds of an actual victorian-era man’s essay, wherein he legit stated that he’s pretty sure women aren’t capable of having a conversation amongst themselves without a man to provide a topic and guide the discourse. Left on their own in a room, women just sit around clucking and making soft noises with no real meaning or words. Like parakeets.)

So this is Lucas’ NEWEST explanation of why he has no success with women and can’t approach them, even when he’s the only man in the room and thus there’s no chance of “cockblocking.” This is how the flatbills are cockblocking Lucas even when they aren’t around, by leaving echoes of their nasty flatbill voices bouncing off the walls and into women’s skulls, turning the dimwitted women against Lucas indirectly.

It can’t possibly be because Lucas is ugly, smelly, old, has a horrible personality and is a generally repulsive person. It’s other men’s fault Lucas can’t talk to girls, even when the other men are miles away.

Sure, Jan.