Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

Forgot about this conversation gem with the Wern. An over thinker has already thought of everything so it’s best not to see what he might overthink next.

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Why does Lucas think it's so fucking easy to get a gernade? It's not, not in the slightest, every one of them is tracked, closely. Some gang banger isn't going to have one for sale out of his trunk. And the only way a civilian is going to get one, is to go through the destructive device screening, and even then, have to an explosives locker. I'm going to try to explain with only mildly power leveling. My Dad did a job in the military, that nearly every day, involved handling explosives. A person he reported to in the 90s, was stealing shit, things like grenades and c4 and other insane shit. Now at the shop Dad worked at, only the guy he reported to had access to the bunker, outside of when the asp did inventory. Inventory happened, they tracked it to the guy that was stealing shit. This happened in like 96 or so, that dude, got out of leavenworth last year. I don't know where Lucas is getting the idea he could just buy one. And even if it was possible, Lucas, much like Phil hates and fears the darkies and would refuse to interact with them.
 
Why does Lucas think it's so fucking easy to get a gernade? It's not, not in the slightest, every one of them is tracked, closely. Some gang banger isn't going to have one for sale out of his trunk. And the only way a civilian is going to get one, is to go through the destructive device screening, and even then, have to an explosives locker. I'm going to try to explain with only mildly power leveling. My Dad did a job in the military, that nearly every day, involved handling explosives. A person he reported to in the 90s, was stealing shit, things like grenades and c4 and other insane shit. Now at the shop Dad worked at, only the guy he reported to had access to the bunker, outside of when the asp did inventory. Inventory happened, they tracked it to the guy that was stealing shit. This happened in like 96 or so, that dude, got out of leavenworth last year. I don't know where Lucas is getting the idea he could just buy one. And even if it was possible, Lucas, much like Phil hates and fears the darkies and would refuse to interact with them.

Cool story bro...but you are forgetting one crucial thing.

Luke knows people. He's a Mafia goomba, remember?
 
Apparently, when he walks he either swings his arms like a gorilla or he walks with his arms behind his back trying to look interesting. Also, he apparently has a gimpy foot. I have never seen it myself, only heard stories and tales of wild Werner sightings.
Wow that's amazing, all I meant was he's a PNW legend
 
Why does Lucas think it's so fucking easy to get a gernade? It's not, not in the slightest, every one of them is tracked, closely. Some gang banger isn't going to have one for sale out of his trunk. And the only way a civilian is going to get one, is to go through the destructive device screening, and even then, have to an explosives locker. I'm going to try to explain with only mildly power leveling. My Dad did a job in the military, that nearly every day, involved handling explosives. A person he reported to in the 90s, was stealing shit, things like grenades and c4 and other insane shit. Now at the shop Dad worked at, only the guy he reported to had access to the bunker, outside of when the asp did inventory. Inventory happened, they tracked it to the guy that was stealing shit. This happened in like 96 or so, that dude, got out of leavenworth last year. I don't know where Lucas is getting the idea he could just buy one. And even if it was possible, Lucas, much like Phil hates and fears the darkies and would refuse to interact with them.
Ehh its not that hard to get that kind of stuff illegally if you know the right people. Not that lucas knows those kinds of people, which is confirmed by the fact he thinks he can get grenades by asking his father about where to get what essentially amounts to antiques. You can't get working grenades that way. Even if that were doable he couldn't as he's got a history of commitment, domestic violence and restraining orders on his record. There is no way he is ever getting his hands on a weapon of any kind. Not legally at least. and the idea that his father of all people would ever point him in the direction of grenades in such a scenario shows how big of an idiot he is. If anything, any such inquiries would raise enough alarm bells for his parents to call the cops on his ass, or get him committed, considering they know he's batshit insane, delusional, angry at people and prone to violence, so its the kind of thing that would make them think he might be planning to do something crazy because someone pissed him off one too many times. To say nothing of the fact they'd have to report it to cover their asses, as if they didn't and by chance he did do something later on....well they would have all kinds of difficult questions to answer about how much they knew about his intentions if that ever got out

That said, I find the fact he calls himself an 'overthinker' on such a subject to be hilarious, especially considering its not difficult to get defused grenades at military surplus stores and similar places. They sell them to anybody cause they can't be used as a weapon as sold. However, anybody with a little engineering knowledge can rearm them, very illegally and in a fairly unsafe manner using some blasting cap materials and some gunpowder. I've known a few gun nuts that have done that, but if you get caught you're going to do jail time for it. Not to mention if you fuck it up you can blow your hand off pretty easy. I just find it interesting that someone who claims to be as smart as lucas does and to be such an overthinker never considered rearming defused grenades is a thing. Low tier terrorists and anti government nutters have done that for years. Then again he's too stupid to actually do it without blowing off a body part or two in the attempt. and even if he did manage to somehow pull it off he would be up shit creek in a big way if he ever got his bag searched by a cop during one of his rants in the park and the cop found that. He'd have an awful lot of explaining to do and the media would have a field day with it. I can see it now - 'Morbidly obese homeless incel pedophile terrorist arrested in local spokane park during angry rant into his phone that caused onlookers to report him to the police, whereupon his bag was searched and turned up some jury rigged hand grenades. The offender was known to police for some time and had a history of violent behavior and stalking toward women and ran a youtube channel where he talks about voices in his head, wanting to have sex with 16 year olds and flatbill clones' Its like every violent incel stereotype rolled into one
 
Forgot about this conversation gem with the Wern. An over thinker has already thought of everything so it’s best not to see what he might overthink next.

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"A warning blast" im sure this will go exactly as intended, he can just bounce the drug dealer staircase for the bag of grenades they all keep on hand and he'll just casually chuck them around as warning shots causing all the flatbill clones within earshot to just hand over their girlfriends and attracting no police attention whatsoever.

Seriously though if the grenade/machine gun plan doesn't get him arrested i don't know what will
 
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Forgot about this conversation gem with the Wern. An over thinker has already thought of everything so it’s best not to see what he might overthink next.

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Lmao this retard couldn't outsmart a Pomeranian.
This happened in like 96 or so, that dude, got out of leavenworth last year. I don't know where Lucas is getting the idea he could just buy one.
Remember, he's a moron. He might have seen de-milled grenades in an Army/Navy store or something. He probably doesn't know they're not only not live, but have been completely disabled from ever being usable as a grenade again.
Terry's story is so different but shows the horrible reality of schizos, Lucas has same problem but was never smart and a huge piece of shit.
If you ever watched Terry, he could be in some full blown psychotic state but the instant the subject turned to programming, he just instantly went completely lucid and could talk about it entirely coherently. Lucas has no such place of sanity.
 
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Why does Lucas think it's so fucking easy to get a gernade? It's not, not in the slightest, every one of them is tracked, closely. Some gang banger isn't going to have one for sale out of his trunk. And the only way a civilian is going to get one, is to go through the destructive device screening, and even then, have to an explosives locker. I'm going to try to explain with only mildly power leveling. My Dad did a job in the military, that nearly every day, involved handling explosives. A person he reported to in the 90s, was stealing shit, things like grenades and c4 and other insane shit. Now at the shop Dad worked at, only the guy he reported to had access to the bunker, outside of when the asp did inventory. Inventory happened, they tracked it to the guy that was stealing shit. This happened in like 96 or so, that dude, got out of leavenworth last year. I don't know where Lucas is getting the idea he could just buy one. And even if it was possible, Lucas, much like Phil hates and fears the darkies and would refuse to interact with them.

Lucas thinks giving everyone a million dollars and dissolving the government would solve the problems of capitalism. Of course he thinks he can buy live grenades off a blanket in the boot of some sketchy rando’s car.

With how easy it is to get firearms in the US, why would anyone bother with a grenade? I'm not an over thinker though
I think he wants to drop a grenade from off a building because he’s the ultimate coward. He can’t shoot people with a gun, that would require him to be down near them and actually aim! They might get the gun away from him and beat his fat greasy arse! And he knows he’s too inept to pick someone off with a sniper rifle.

I’m sure he imagines he could gleefully drop a grenade from five floors up, then quickly waddle away and hide so no one could catch him. He can’t strike out at anyone unless it’s from a very safe distance with zero possibility of getting caught or retaliated against, because he knows he’d be beaten within an inch of his ugly miserable life.

Once again, Lucas shows that he desires the easiest, most non-confrontational and cowardly way of doing things. Even if he got a grenade, he’d wimp out and say he got revenge-blocked while trying to go up to the roof of a building because some lady coughed on the lift and he got spooked.
 
Lucas and the grenade is shades of Wile E. Coyote. He's subject to cartoon logic, but not, alas, cartoon physics. He would blow himself up, but rather than sit there blinking in the soot all disappointed, there'd be greasy chunks of him scattered everywhere.

In the absence of fresh content, please consider joining my Fat Lucas Poetry Club. We will discuss the poetry, and comically small penis, of Lucas Colby Werner, and perhaps share our own doggerel about Spokane's favorite vagrant. Membership is open to all interested Wernologists who are willing to swear a binding pinkie oath to never say a kind word about Lucas Colby Werner.

Here's one of Lucas's poem for your consideration:
Sweat smells like cigarette
Extinguished in a corporate breath
Blood on the radio
Where the old stories are over told
Get in line to be force fed
The war machine's decaying dead
Logic dispels your existing Gods
I won't follow your heartless laws
Don't you know you do what you're told
I feel most at home when I'm on my own

Don't deny my primal cause
Humanity is a genetic flaw

Toppled the towers of a nation's faith
Empty now as our children's brains
The paper trail leads back to you
Double
you
Double the fat content on the nightly news

Red carpet red tape
More blood for oil

Shotgun marriage of church and state
Pop culture is a cannibal
Every animal for every animal
Early birds caught by the old bait and switch

The next piece I would like us to consider is one of Lucas's spoken word/rap performances, transcribed at great personal cost. Enjoy:
Gen Z solidarity, hypocrisies and bigotry
Contrary with what most of your generation tends to believe
Oh yeah, you're socialist
And a guy rolls up with a car and you're down with this
A credit card
And the Bernie Sanders goes out the window cause you like being a prostitute but you don't like breaking the law
So you hook up with the sugar daddy and the guy with the car cause he's a football star
But that's only half of your generation most of you are against the degradation, the trash of the world, the world sucks
Yeet me down a bae!
Do this today!
I'm not smoking heroin or meth, ok
But we can 420!
Marry me today!
I got potentially $500,000 in the bank even though I'm homeless my parents are rich I don't borrow any money from this I'm not a trust-fund kid
Travel agents made a lot of money in the 1990s
They got $1,000,000 in the bank as they kick it down in Arizona
Hey, and my dad and step mom, wise investments with Microsoft
yes, I agree the socialism rocks
Yes, I agree the corporations suck
But I'm here maybe one day I'll open an atheist homeless shelter in 300 years with my progeny then develop a building that can withstand an atomic bomb...
But if your socialism, your desire to save the world, your fertility, your beauty, your talent, you're funny
But the agephobia fucking sucks
But you don't fucking care because you want to suck big black dick but at least you're not racist
But you're sexist because you need that thing
Every time I see you you're with another guy
My thing, let's get married today!
I'll put your ring...
16 kids like Genghis motherfucking...
It's the bigotry, the hypocrisy of your generation that sucks and I agree with you that socialism was needed
Cause this sucks!
No, we lost a Bernie Sanders, Biden might offer a UBI but we got to get rid of the racist guy in the White House
But the agephobia, the agephobia
When I offer money it's going away
Dude that sucks
But the things that I want to do with the world
I want to save the world with you
I want to have 16, 17 kids with you, whatever you want to do
Let's dance, let's sing, let's do this thing!
Earn this fucking ring!
Even though the girlie in mind exploits the people and the earth
Digging through the dirt
Worker exploitation and you want a motherfucking ring you need to take a fucking vacation and get your head in check
You're a capitalist chick and you don't need his motherfucking dick
May your football team lose today because your greed makes the love go away
Capitalism stands in the way
Let's talk about the bigotry against my age
Generation X needs sex!
The fertile bitches walk around like this...
But you're mad at me for expressing misogyny
We'll, I apologize I'll never do it again
But are you floating naked in my bed?
No!
So what potential do I have to get you to turn around and smile, and maybe open a little racist thing...
Why you looking at me while I sing?
I don't understand why we need the bigotry
I don't understand why we need these words anyway, we should be rolling in the sheets
We should be fucking with the NEETs
We should be fucking with the oogles and the simps
But oh, you present the credit card
And the incel goes away
See, that's the motherfucking thing, I'm a volcel motherfucker

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE POTENTIAL OF MY BALLS AND MY DNA

Telomerase, I don't need to... duh duh...to say too much
But the percentage that my children will have the good luck is better, better, better, better
And the young women have the fertile eggs
Please don't be stupid today
I need the fallopian tubes and the wombs
Your companionship
I'm just a Gen X dude that knows a little about the science
I'm not really here to listen to your arrogance
You simp little...
Shut up and this...dance is all I need
Let's get married today, Gen Z!
I will one day give you the ring but I hope that we don't have to dig through the mines because worker exploitation is a pet peeves of mine
But if you want to be my girl, hit me up!
You rock my world
But if you don't, then I don't care I'll just watch your little bigot stair
Hair
I don't motherfucking care
Bigots deserve to die
Guillotines and nooses, aye
Don't really care, millennials it's your problem...duh dum duh
But the agephobia from Generation Z
But you don't ever sympathize with me
No empathy
Get therapy
But when you're really mine
A simple hi!
And a phone number!
SAVE ME FROM A SUICIDE of capitalism standing in the way
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/L4HT1vClgwo" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>
I consider these two pieces to be some of Lucas's finest work: windows into his soul, but also like staring directly up a butthole.
 
Not an expert on the law in Washington but I would imagine just having an explosive device in your possession there is an automatic felony like in some states. Not that Lucas has enough foresight to even think about that though. He'd be the type of person that arranges to buy one, shows up and then gets cuffed by FBI agents.

Not to mention the legalities of discharging a weapon just to "scare" your enemies. Honestly it's amazing he hasn't done some pretty hard time for shit like this already.
 
Lucas the fat domestic violence convicted creep talks about grenades? Lmfao.

Im sure @Club Sandwich who is a legit high speed low drag kinda guy can confirm grenades are horrid weapons. Its why we use them. They tear humans in ways that make me shudder.

They legally are mot common while you can get them via either a title 2 or doing some weird shit with explosive cert (from my under standing films do this vs title 2)

Back room illegal lmfao no. If any one asks for nfa stuff they are a glow nigger and the gun community will mock abuse and shun them.

The idea lucas could get a weapon that has no warning shot just pound of mach 2 broken razors is comical.

I'm also thrilled posters pointed how its even more cowardly. Something he always ends up doing.
 
can confirm grenades are horrid weapons
yes, the tried and true fragmentation grenade results in something more than the typical injury you might expect. it's not like video games where it's a little limited area where you get a puff of smoke, some loud noise, and maybe a fireball thing. the blast alone (no shrapnel) can burst small blood vessels with the pressure wave, causing temporary deafness, blindness, and sometimes temporary high pressure damage to lungs or other internal organs. then you have a sphere of jagged high-velocity bits of metal moving faster than a bullet spray in random directions - and these are lethal to quite a large distances and tumble as they fly through the air at hundreds of meters per second. very close grenade blasts can literally tear people apart similar to a paper shredder. shrapnel injuries are genuinely horrifying.

the problem with grenades are that the carefully manufactured and engineered ones are still somewhat unpredictable. the explosion part is easy. making them safe to handle and useful in maneuvers is difficult. "when the pin is pulled, mr. grenade is no one's friend."

slight power level, but i have and still do deal with grenades and similar explosives semi-regularly (film purposes are dummy pyrotechnic "grenades" that are then theatrically modified for practical or special effects, film armorers do not supply live grenades for filming purposes outside of very limited circumstances like filming training videos for the military or something). they can be purchased by nearly anyone legally - they are a destructive device and there is a process to getting one (or more) but the issue is finding someone willing to sell them. virtually no manufacturer will sell to individuals (no economical and too much political fallout), and dealers also wouldn't be comfortable selling to someone who is a walking liability. places that do not have tight control on explosives, near conflict zones are really the only source for them in the US - of course other than ones that haven't been deactivated properly (Sweden for example has grenade attacks from leftovers from the breakup of Yugoslavia - a crate of grenades was smuggled into the country by organized crime and the leftovers are still floating around).

as mentioned before, you would have better luck manufacturing your own, however that is an entirely separate can of worms that tends to get the amateur sapper dead very quickly. even people with strong chemistry background find it a very delicate process. again, it's not the explosive part that's the problem, it's the controllable, safe handling of the result that is very difficult. you tend to not know you've made a mistake of too little or too much of something until it ends poorly.

i'm more amused that Lucas thinks he has the pull to get anything serious out of people other than ending up dead. if someone unknown, and not in the "business" starts asking for your wares that could be a serious liability to your business, you remove that person or ignore them through ignorance. the very fact that he talks in broad strokes and mentioned his step father points to his inability to be genuinely resourceful in obtaining these sorts of goods.

it would be generous to say that Lucas might be able to buy a hot gun from a gangbanger with a few bodies on it looking to dump it and get some cash back/drugs on the deal.
 
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Lucas and the grenade is shades of Wile E. Coyote. He's subject to cartoon logic, but not, alas, cartoon physics. He would blow himself up, but rather than sit there blinking in the soot all disappointed, there'd be greasy chunks of him scattered everywhere.

In the absence of fresh content, please consider joining my Fat Lucas Poetry Club. We will discuss the poetry, and comically small penis, of Lucas Colby Werner, and perhaps share our own doggerel about Spokane's favorite vagrant. Membership is open to all interested Wernologists who are willing to swear a binding pinkie oath to never say a kind word about Lucas Colby Werner.

Here's one of Lucas's poem for your consideration:
Sweat smells like cigarette
Extinguished in a corporate breath
Blood on the radio
Where the old stories are over told
Get in line to be force fed
The war machine's decaying dead
Logic dispels your existing Gods
I won't follow your heartless laws
Don't you know you do what you're told
I feel most at home when I'm on my own

Don't deny my primal cause
Humanity is a genetic flaw

Toppled the towers of a nation's faith
Empty now as our children's brains
The paper trail leads back to you
Double
you
Double the fat content on the nightly news

Red carpet red tape
More blood for oil

Shotgun marriage of church and state
Pop culture is a cannibal
Every animal for every animal
Early birds caught by the old bait and switch

The next piece I would like us to consider is one of Lucas's spoken word/rap performances, transcribed at great personal cost. Enjoy:
Gen Z solidarity, hypocrisies and bigotry
Contrary with what most of your generation tends to believe
Oh yeah, you're socialist
And a guy rolls up with a car and you're down with this
A credit card
And the Bernie Sanders goes out the window cause you like being a prostitute but you don't like breaking the law
So you hook up with the sugar daddy and the guy with the car cause he's a football star
But that's only half of your generation most of you are against the degradation, the trash of the world, the world sucks
Yeet me down a bae!
Do this today!
I'm not smoking heroin or meth, ok
But we can 420!
Marry me today!
I got potentially $500,000 in the bank even though I'm homeless my parents are rich I don't borrow any money from this I'm not a trust-fund kid
Travel agents made a lot of money in the 1990s
They got $1,000,000 in the bank as they kick it down in Arizona
Hey, and my dad and step mom, wise investments with Microsoft
yes, I agree the socialism rocks
Yes, I agree the corporations suck
But I'm here maybe one day I'll open an atheist homeless shelter in 300 years with my progeny then develop a building that can withstand an atomic bomb...
But if your socialism, your desire to save the world, your fertility, your beauty, your talent, you're funny
But the agephobia fucking sucks
But you don't fucking care because you want to suck big black dick but at least you're not racist
But you're sexist because you need that thing
Every time I see you you're with another guy
My thing, let's get married today!
I'll put your ring...
16 kids like Genghis motherfucking...
It's the bigotry, the hypocrisy of your generation that sucks and I agree with you that socialism was needed
Cause this sucks!
No, we lost a Bernie Sanders, Biden might offer a UBI but we got to get rid of the racist guy in the White House
But the agephobia, the agephobia
When I offer money it's going away
Dude that sucks
But the things that I want to do with the world
I want to save the world with you
I want to have 16, 17 kids with you, whatever you want to do
Let's dance, let's sing, let's do this thing!
Earn this fucking ring!
Even though the girlie in mind exploits the people and the earth
Digging through the dirt
Worker exploitation and you want a motherfucking ring you need to take a fucking vacation and get your head in check
You're a capitalist chick and you don't need his motherfucking dick
May your football team lose today because your greed makes the love go away
Capitalism stands in the way
Let's talk about the bigotry against my age
Generation X needs sex!
The fertile bitches walk around like this...
But you're mad at me for expressing misogyny
We'll, I apologize I'll never do it again
But are you floating naked in my bed?
No!
So what potential do I have to get you to turn around and smile, and maybe open a little racist thing...
Why you looking at me while I sing?
I don't understand why we need the bigotry
I don't understand why we need these words anyway, we should be rolling in the sheets
We should be fucking with the NEETs
We should be fucking with the oogles and the simps
But oh, you present the credit card
And the incel goes away
See, that's the motherfucking thing, I'm a volcel motherfucker

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE POTENTIAL OF MY BALLS AND MY DNA

Telomerase, I don't need to... duh duh...to say too much
But the percentage that my children will have the good luck is better, better, better, better
And the young women have the fertile eggs
Please don't be stupid today
I need the fallopian tubes and the wombs
Your companionship
I'm just a Gen X dude that knows a little about the science
I'm not really here to listen to your arrogance
You simp little...
Shut up and this...dance is all I need
Let's get married today, Gen Z!
I will one day give you the ring but I hope that we don't have to dig through the mines because worker exploitation is a pet peeves of mine
But if you want to be my girl, hit me up!
You rock my world
But if you don't, then I don't care I'll just watch your little bigot stair
Hair
I don't motherfucking care
Bigots deserve to die
Guillotines and nooses, aye
Don't really care, millennials it's your problem...duh dum duh
But the agephobia from Generation Z
But you don't ever sympathize with me
No empathy
Get therapy
But when you're really mine
A simple hi!
And a phone number!
SAVE ME FROM A SUICIDE of capitalism standing in the way
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/L4HT1vClgwo" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>
I consider these two pieces to be some of Lucas's finest work: windows into his soul, but also like staring directly up a butthole.

My contribution:

I'm looking for a girlfriend which ones me,
an underage girl or a femme tranny,
L=U-C-A-S spells me,
creepy old pedo on E-B-T,
saw a zoomer bae walking down the street,
tried resisting but was too horny,
now instead of creeping streets and chasing poon,
i'm locked up in eastern state cause i'm a loon
 
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