Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

Last time he was at INBH for his "suicide" threat he was still able to use the hospital phone to leave voice messages to the catfish that had "offered" for him to move in with her. If he pulled another "suicide" threat to get another 2 weeks of free bed and meals at INBH, wondering why he hasn't tried to leave Eliana messages. Unless he doesn't want anyone to know because it won't look good on him and his "I would make a good dad" resume.
 
Last time he was at INBH for his "suicide" threat he was still able to use the hospital phone to leave voice messages to the catfish that had "offered" for him to move in with her. If he pulled another "suicide" threat to get another 2 weeks of free bed and meals at INBH, wondering why he hasn't tried to leave Eliana messages. Unless he doesn't want anyone to know because it won't look good on him and his "I would make a good dad" resume.

The understanding I have of the Eliana messages was that it was just IG DM chats and that catfish never gave Lucas a phone number.

He could have left voice DMs though. It'd be nice to think he got his fill of actual humiliation he couldn't claim was photoshopped after that round of women he'd cold called (as well as "Tiffany") put it out there for anyone to listen to.

I know it's not that he's smart enough to know nobody would buy "Those voice messages are faked!" either, because he still likes to claim now and again that I'M the one who started "it's not in the cards" and, even after shown his own video with his whole shirtless fat self telling the story about how his mom says it to him every time he says he wants a girlfriend, he legit tried to claim I'd somehow made THAT video up too.

The video of him.

Shirtless and talking about how his mom says that to him.

I doctored it somehow, he never said it, she never said it, he never posted it, I made it up.

That just makes me think it's less that he got thrown into the nuthouse again and more than likely lost or had his phone stolen again.
 
I bet the dumb bag of gunts just simply lost his phone. And it'll probably take a while, past the date of his monthly tugboat payday, to get a new one, causing increasing speculations as to his death or incarceration :optimistic:..

Then a new video's going to show up titled "Sick and Tired of the Age Gap Phobia from Communist BLM in Name Only Bigots"


Again I say.. how is he so interesting and mindfuckingly dull at the same time
 
This makes me laugh more than anything. I say it to my friends irl and post it in my group chat all the time. I also say GREED MONGER irl and no one understands. ☺️
So much of the same and thus far I got one to join us but he’s lurking and keeps sending me texts with “why are you leftist in name only?”
 
Keep wondering if it is a phone problem. He got his SSI money on Mar 1st and 3 days later after posting his "Gen Z cockblocking" video and some "memes" earlier in the day on Mar 4th he went silent. What happened to his SSI money in 3 days that if his phone broke, got lost or stolen he couldn't replace it. If he'd blown his money on food he would have made/posted a video(s) of his "fine dining" to show the Gen Z girls what they are "missing".
 
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When I was a
A Wern wiki would help in terns of quickly finding past evidence of a Wern doing when discussing him, and also help to avoid many repeated disagreements on this board that come along every ten pages or so.

On another note, heard on the grapevine that Wern was kicked out for 24 hours last Thursday for arguing with bed neighbors, and never returned.

My bet? Called in a suicide threat and is doing another 2 week spell in the mini puzzle factory.
I'd contribute to a Wern lookup - a way to get a quick handle on his BS on his DV conviction, or his time at the lesbian house...or well any subject he mentions cos he is the ultimate "unreliable narrator" eh?
 
Keep wondering if it is a phone problem. He got his SSI money on Mar 1st and 3 days later after posting his "Gen Z cockblocking" video and some "memes" earlier in the day on Mar 4th he went silent. What happened to his SSI money in 3 days that if his phone broke, got lost or stolen he couldn't replace it. If he'd blown his money on food he would have made/posted a video(s) of his "fine dining" to show the Gen Z girls what they are "missing".
If his phone was stolen, his money probably was, as well.

Which I'm beginning to think what happened. Given how much he rants and raves around the hobos of Spokane, they probably are aware that he's an easy mark.
 
I wonder just how nuts Lucas acts when he doesn’t have his digital pacifier to distract him from the voices on the wind and flatbill cockblocking?

Without his phone he can’t pontificate into the camera or text with catfishes on IG. I really would love to see footage of how he acts when it’s just him and his thoughts with no intermediary wandering about town.
 
It's likely phone related. I searched on all the Spokane court pages and nothing has changed. If he's in a mental hospital, he probably would have called one of his catfishes by now. Lucas will likely return soon like nothing happened, as usual.
He may not want anyone to know he's back in the loony bin. Last time it was 18 days at INBH and released on a Friday. If he is at INBH, going by the days he was in prior he'd could be released sometime 19-26. If we get to the end of the month with Lucas a no show, yea that would look to be a lack of phone.
 
Hopefully, the Kiwi Farmers in Spokane can keep an eye out for the cow. Look for a fat guy with a big bald spot walking like a gorilla. We all love seeing Lucas in the wild photos. I have a feeling if he is not in the Cannon Street shelter then he is likely in the hospital. Although, sometimes he manages to stay at crack houses and opium dens with other vagrants. So, he could be a few places. He is unwelcome in most Spokane shelters that we know of.

He likely has to wait till his first of the month tugboat or the stimulus check to buy a new phone if it is broke or MIA. That mean payee keeps some of Lucas's hard earned handouts to use for housing. Lucas is plenty good and Jesus wuz homeless 2!
 
The content draught continues, and speculation rages. It seems that Lucas Colby Werner, insignificant as he may be, matters to a small group of folks. To the extent that he is a source of entertainment.
Throughout late January and early March, 2021, several Wernologists remarked that Lucas seemed to be rapidly deteriorating. This is a common observation, as Lucas always seems to be rapidly deteriorating. His agitation seemed to be waxing; he expressed his delusions more urgently. Notably, Lucas began presenting himself on IG as a "gruff father figure" and revolutionary, exactly the kind of ubermensch Gen Z baes want to have "rough" sex with. According to Lucas.

While calling for the overthrow of capitalism, on the premise that the revolution would provide him with access to the choicest teen puss puss, Lucas enjoyed a relatively comfortable period at a hotel, and a shelter where he made his signature "toaster abortions." The toaster became an artifact of Wernology. During this time he came in to contact with a catfish on IG, damfine509, Eliana, or whatever. I'll call her Catpuss.

Lucas understood Catpuss to be a 17 year old high school student. Mustering all of the cunning and social skills at his command, he attempted to gain access to Catpuss's puss puss through a campaign of whining and pressuring. Receipts would later demonstrate Lucas's crude seduction techniques rely heavily on pleas for pity and clumsy demands. He gives the impression of a malevolent child badgering a negligent mother for ice cream.

Things changed on Thursday, March 4. According to our esteemed colleague @Nobleman, Lucas was kicked out of a homeless shelter, again. He is alleged to have gotten into an argument with other vagrants. The subject of their disagreement is unknown, but likely related to the fact that Lucas is a fat faggot. For the argument to result in a ban, it must have been exciting. While the ban was only for 24 hours, Lucas didn't return the next day.

Lucas subsequently disappeared from IG, which for months has been his primary platform for advertising his mental health symptoms and pedo thirst. Lucas's last post was on March 5. He shared a series of "meme" indicting "leftists in name only" and calling for this "hateful world" to end.

And then silence. And speculation.

Lucas has a pattern of going dark. Within the past year, he has lost access to the internet several times due to his inability to keep his hands on a phone. He generally replaces the phone as soon as possible, because it is his primary way of interacting with Gen Z. It has been confirmed that Lucas's phone currently goes directly to voicemail. If Lucas did in fact lose his phone, he did so at the beginning of the month, when he would be most likely to have the resources to replace it. As of March 12, he has not.

Lucas has also lost access to the internet due to his trips to the laughing academy. It has been noted that Lucas's disappearance approximately coincides with yet another expulsion from a shelter, and that Lucas has voluntarily gone to the laughing academy in the past if he did not see a better shelter option. The shelter ban was, however, only for 24 hours, and one can only wonder if Lucas would call in a suicide threat over that. If he is at the laughing academy, privacy laws make confirmation virtually impossible, absent Lucas reaching out to someone. In the past, his brother, and also catfish, have leaked information regarding his mental health confinement.

The consensus among Wernologists is that Lucas is unlikely to have voluntarily stepped away from the internet. It is simply too important a social outlet for him to abandon, and he lacks the self-awareness to consciously lay low.

Lucas is not presently in the custody of Spokane County.

A small, but very vocal contingent of Wernologists maintain that Lucas's absence is best explained as the tragic result of an attack of wild fag dogs. The dogs are alleged to have sodomized and eaten Lucas alive; stripped the flesh from his bones while humping him. There is disagreement among the proponents of this theory over whether the dogs anally penetrated him, or only dry humped him, but it is agreed upon that he was forced to blow the pack as he died.
 
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I have a feeling if he is not in the Cannon Street shelter then he is likely in the hospital. Although, sometimes he manages to stay at crack houses and opium dens with other vagrants. So, he could be a few places. He is unwelcome in most Spokane shelters that we know of.
If he’s staying in crack houses and opium dens that’s how you get a phone swiped along with the money to replace it
 
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Hopefully, the Kiwi Farmers in Spokane can keep an eye out for the cow. Look for a fat guy with a big bald spot walking like a gorilla. We all love seeing Lucas in the wild photos. I have a feeling if he is not in the Cannon Street shelter then he is likely in the hospital. Although, sometimes he manages to stay at crack houses and opium dens with other vagrants. So, he could be a few places. He is unwelcome in most Spokane shelters that we know of.

He likely has to wait till his first of the month tugboat or the stimulus check to buy a new phone if it is broke or MIA. That mean payee keeps some of Lucas's hard earned handouts to use for housing. Lucas is plenty good and Jesus wuz homeless 2!
Considering the Freak has been quite vocal about blackmailing those engaged in illegal activities to get them to hand a girl over to him, I'd say staying in places where such activities happen is the the last place he'd want to be.
 
Considering the Freak has been quite vocal about blackmailing those engaged in illegal activities to get them to hand a girl over to him, I'd say staying in places where such activities happen is the the last place he'd want to be.
You would think so, and that would be a very logical thing to think. However, with Lucas and his flexible ways of thinking he would one day gladly stay at a crack house or opium den to get out of the weather and then the following week be threatening them to hand over the puss-puss or face certain arrest.

Whatever benefits Dr. Nigga Luke is what he will do. So, I would not be surprised to find he is holed up in some crack and/or opium den with other degenerates like Isik, until they get sick of him and boot him out.
 
All this talk about the possibility of him suicide baiting another trip to the nuthouse makes me wonder if someone should make a parody video of she blinded me with science, set at eastern state, with lucas in it and ranting about science and telomeres

I wouldn't be surprised if he took another trip to a crackhouse and got his phone and cash stolen or suicide baited his way back for another trip in the nuthouse. Though last time he did that he called up that catfish and thought he had a place to stay for awhile afterwards. Funny how he dealt with that by simply never mentioning it again and acting like it never happened. Regardless of which it was it'll probably be awhile before we hear anything from him again
 
So, like all other dedicated Wernologists, I've been getting my wern fix during the drought by watching some of his old videos.

I was watching one of the videos where he just got an apartment, titled "How about you go out with me?"

And I came upon Lucas's comparison of the ages of women he's dated to reading materials.

He said that he'd already dated old women, and that was like reading a book, he didn't want to date women his own age, because that was the most boring, which he likened to reading a newspaper, and obviously his desired age group, which I believe at this point was still millennials and not yet gen z, he likened to reading a magazine, saying that was what he wanted.

I thought about this for a while. in the same video, Lucas mentioned that he himself was writing his famous book about telomeres.

So we know that Lucas thinks books are associated with being intelligent and educated. He's not against print media in any kind of way.

Even though he doesn't want to be with older women, he likens them to a reading material that's of substance, that he associates with the intelligence that he is so anxious to cultivate the impression that he possesses.

But his desired younger group? Theyre as disposable as magazines.

Of course, I don't have any idea what sort of magazine Lucas had in mind when he said this, but my mind went straight to tabloids, for some reason. I guess I associate Lucas with trash.

Lucas wants something disposable and fun, freed from strings. This is one of the reasons why he's vacillated in the impression of seriousness that he desires in a relationship, sometimes saying he very much wants a child, sometimes saying it's up to the woman, sometimes demanding marriage immediately, and sometimes saying there would be an extended dating.. I believe these are all pretext to just getting quick disposable sex. It's actually viciously misogynistic to compare young women to pulp tabloids.

Best case scenario, he was thinking about Time magazine or national geographic, even though I know he wasn't, and it's still something disposable, something that only has value in the month that it's released, and that just becomes recyclable trash after that.

Obviously Lucas never considers any of his metaphors this deeply, but it's interesting to think what his metaphors say about the way Lucas's brain works.

This is the real thing about him that's held my interest for so long... the way Lucas's brain works, or rather the way it doesn't work correctly.

The strangest part of this to me, the part that indicates that his brain doesn't work correctly, is that Lucas intends this comparison to be complementary to the millennial women.

He sees comparing young women to disposable print media, to be something that puts them on a pedestal, so to speak.


I actually don't think Lucas is aware of a lot of the things that he says. He talks so much shit, and he makes so many similar videos, but I think he forgets the details of a lot of the things that he says, and thus He's able later on to deny having said things with almost complete confidence with an air of surety that belies how obvious his denial really is.

I imagine there's more examples of Lucas making comparisons that he thinks are complementary, which are in reality horrifying, insulting, or patronizing, but again, I don't think he's largely aware of it.

He always mentions that men should call women sweetie and honey, and that he wants women to address him the same way, but the only time I've ever heard Lucas address a woman with these words, it's been negative, patronizing, and nasty. whenever one of the woman in the geek room said something that Lucas didn't like, he immediately followed up his reply with a honey or sweetie. the woman with the glasses was aware of this too, later calling him muffin as a way of putting his patronizing appellation on point. And yet he still insists, "But people should refer to each other with these love words".

Words that he only uses to demean and patronize.
 
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