Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Wernology]

Looks like he's back. He's got some kind of live event scheduled on YouTube right now.

This ought to be good.

Edit: I'm also pretty sure he set something to premiere or go live but, like, had it on for about a second which gave us that still shot of...the top of his head...then either got kicked out of where he was or forgot about it.

 

[Da Dude123]

This ought to be good.

"Sirknight is my name". Yeah? And fat faggotry is your game, "Sirknight Dr. Nigga Luke'.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

 

[Mother Fucker]

In this latest video we're getting a rare glimpse of Lucas actually interacting with another human for an extended period of time. It's so painfully obvious how starved he is for any kind of validation and social interaction what so ever, and it's obvious (Shareef?) is just hanging out with him cause he shared his weed with him.

God damn Lucas is like that cringy kid in highschool who tried to Weasel his way into social circles by just standing around a group of people, agreeing with everything everyone says and laughing awkwardly loud whenever someone says something funny.

 

[Krathnami]

I feel bad for this guy who is obviously mentally unwell that he has to resort to hanging around Lucas for handouts

 

[Wernology]

I'm not keeping my ass up past midnight to see if he uploads more rambling with some guy who probably has no idea that he's chatting with a pedophile so anything else I'll get tomorrow.

He'll love this one, I decided to open with a few choice screenshots from his latest catfish. Primarily, the bits in which she says she's 17 and still in high school, where he begs her to sneak out during quarantine to hook up with him (sorry 'go for a burger'), him being wrong about age of consent, and all the manipulative, shitty, anger issues filled nonsense he threw at someone he believed to be 17.

Kinda wonder if Sharif knows he's hanging out with a nasty pedo.

Anyway, I'm probably headed to bed, so when Youtube finishes processing it'll be here:

 

[mothman96]

In the video with Shareef they are like half a block from the Cannon shelter so I wonder if Lucas is back at the Cannon shelter or he just went there to look for Shareef.

ETA:
Even the the way the Freak laughs sounds deranged.

 

[WonderWino]

That laugh he does makes him sound deranged, and his interaction with shareef sounds like two mental patients throwing insane ideas at each other that aren't in a mental hospital at the time

Also, a funny thing just happened. I was doing one of those online courses for a job i've been looking into and I got this hypothetical question on a chapter quiz:

'You are standing in front of your property and a distraught lady comes up to you and insists that you arrest the man by the bus shelter across the street. Upon investigation you determine that he had exposed himself to her 12 year old daughter. What do you do?'

My first thought was 'are we talking about lucas?' Cause that sound disturbingly like a lucas situation

EDIT: lucas is now going around interviewing a homeless woman about monsters and jesus, or as he put it 'explaining her perspective on god'. Reporter lucas could get interesting

 

[ThomasAudley]

It's weird - I think he's boring for ranting about telomeres and fecund, juicy, zoomer wombs, but after these two latest videos I wish he'd shut the fuck up and get back to his bread and butter.

I think the two weeks in quarantine where he actually watched TV inspired him to create his own retarded TV channel. And the motion in the video looks weird and jittery, perhaps he got a new phone.

Anyway, Lucas is a Fat Faggot, stay tuned for the full story at 11!

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

In the interest of promoting responsible, accurate Wernology, I've compiled a glossary of terms frequently used in this thread. Hopefully, it will make Lucas's antics more accessible. The glossary is a work in progress, and will be edited and updated as time permits. As this is an initial draft that was written in haste, there are surely important terms and concepts that I have omitted. Please feel free to make any suggestions.

Spoiler: A Glossary of Fat Faggotry

• Wernology: The study of Lucas Colby Werner, a homeless, floridly mentally ill man with a keen interest in younger women.
• Background sarcasm/voices on the wind: Auditory hallucinations, often related to criticism. Alleged by some to be an expression of Lucas’s negative self-image. It is not clear if Lucas understands that not everyone experiences these voices.
• Smart pretty interesting girl/dream girl/my girl/Ovulators/Kween/Lady Z/Baby Zoom/Bae/Queefy Bae: The target of Lucas’s lifelong obsession, a young, attractive female that will obey him, take care of him, demonstrate his value to other males, and fix all of his problems. Preferably 16-18, though Lucas shows some interest in women in their early 20s. Combines the traits of Lucas’s mother, a tard-wrangler, and a sex slave. Expected to bear Lucas’s children, support Lucas financially, and not interact with other males.
• Catfish: An alleged female that shows any interest in Lucas.
• Full Blush Face: Body language that Lucas interprets as sexual interest.
• The party/ “Where’s the party at”: Something fun that Lucas is excluded from; an unknown location full of hot young girls that seek sex with men like Lucas.
• Swoop: To interrupt a social interaction between a male and female, with the intent of seizing the female’s attention and parlaying that into sexual activity.
• Cockblock: To exist as a male in the same world as Lucas Colby Werner; to prevent a man who has no chance of getting laid from getting laid; to interfere with, or show no deference to or interest in, age gap love.
• Capitalism: An unjust system that provides benefits to Lucas, such as EBT and SDI, at no cost to him.
• Silverback: An aging male primate who, after a lifetime of cringing submissively and showing his belly to superior males, has been endowed by the passage of years with wisdom and masculine potency and is now ready to hump young females.
• Flatbills: A younger, sexually successful male who may evince an interest in hip-hop and baseball hats. They are known to cockblock and swoop Lucas’s chicks.
• Clone: Someone with the traditional trappings of an adult life, and/or conventional attitudes towards politics and the appropriateness of “age gap relationships.
• Wernlings: Lucas’s imagined children.
• Plenty good: The state of being good enough already and not needing to make any significant changes or improvements. Used to describe Lucas’s attitude towards himself and his flaws. Lucas is incapable of accepting his shortcomings may interfere with his goals, or that he may not be good enough.
• Fat Faggot: Lucas Colby Werner.
• Creep: The most hateful epithet imaginable, the equivalent of calling Lucas a “nigger.”
• King Roy: Lucas’s estranged biological father, reputed to be a wealthy stud who “deserves grandchildren” and is master of a sprawling estate.
• The Elk Kingdom: King Roy’s royal estate, or home, which Lucas claims he will inherit someday. Often presented as a potential site for Lucas’s dream wedding.
• Telomeres/Telomere Overabundance: Lucas’s misunderstanding of biology, which has him convinced that by virtue of his age, his semen has anti-aging properties and is extremely “potent” and will lead to the strongest possible offspring when combined with the “ova” of a teenage girl; a convincing argument in favor of age gap love, or reason why “intra-ageil breeding patterns” are optimal and Lucas should not be castigated for being a creep.
• Bernie Sanders: A sex symbol who legitimized age gap love.
• Age Gap Love/intra-ageil dating patterns/intra-ageil breeding patterns: Sex between Lucas and an underaged girl, and only between Lucas and an underaged girl. Lucas has used science, mathematics, religion, and political theory to legitimize his interest in young women.
• Agephobe/Bigots/Hypocrites: Someone who objects to the practice of “age gap love,” as advocated by Lucas Colby Wener; a young woman who does not recognize the sexual value of elderly men; Starbucks; anyone that Lucas disagrees with.
• Nigger: A word that flatbills utter to attract baes, that Lucas will not use because he is principled and not a bigot. See also “nigga.”
• Nigga: A word that Lucas will repeat until a bae agrees to have sex with him.
• Dr. Nigga Luke/The Wern: Lucas Colby Werner's alternate identity; a scientists without a degree, a gruff father figure and revolutionary, who is radicalizing the youth and fighting for justice in the face of bigots and agephobes.
• Graybeards: Men in Lucas’s age range who have sex with younger women, just like Lucas would like to. Lucas has accused the graybeards of stealing, and profiting from, his “telomere research.”
• Fibonacci Numbers/Golden Mean: A combination of number theory and Lucas’s libido; the very structure of mathematics requires younger women to have sex with older men.
• Laughing academy/puzzle factory/Eastern State: A psychiatric hospital. Lucas has been a regular of these establishments for 2 decades.
• The men with butterfly nets: The gentlemen responsible for handling Lucas’s transitions between raving on the street and relaxing in a psychiatric hospital.
  • Spoiler: Lucas with net

    View attachment 1999773
• Atheism: Disbelief in the existence of god, that renders one immune to a diagnosis of schizophrenia and exempt from criticism.
• The Fart Chamber: Lucas’s last apartment, a fabled lair where he used the sink as toilet and recorded many shirtless videos. Lucas was evicted after attempting to coerce his neighbors into providing him with a sex partner.
• Puss puss/Poon: Female genitals. Lucas seems to be genuinely confused about the configuration of the female body, but is nonetheless keenly interested in reproductive organs.
• Fecund: An adjective Lucas’s uses to describe fertile, sexually desirable young women. An example of his awkward use of 10-cent words to demonstrate his intellect.
• Comically small penis/micordick/stub/MRSA nub: Lucas’s abnormally small sexual organ, noted for a MRSA sore in his infamous dick pics.
• Big Meaty Fist: Lucas’s substitute sexual organ; his hand, which he intends to shove in a woman’s vagina and/or anus, to pleasure her despite his comically small penis.
• Leftists in name only: Avowed progressives who do not defer to Lucas, or actively support his quest for puss puss. Radicals who have cars, credit cards, and relationships with the opposite sex, and will not share the puss puss with Lucas.
• Toaster abortion: Lucas’s cooking; clashing ingredients combined with no attention to safe food handling and burnt in a toaster oven.
• Revolution: Reorganizing civilization to provide poor, old men with greater respect and unfettered access to the choicest teen puss puss.

You may want to add: “cheesy cucumbers”, “KFC meltdown”, “sriracha Mayo”, foot pumice face, and “feggit, biggit, and MY-sauginism”

Oh, and “rotten lettuce”


Those are some of my favors Wern moments.

 

[WonderWino]

We can now add 'office of president' and 'how the economy works' to the massive list of things lucas has absolutely no understanding of. and by the look of that video he's back in a shelter

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

We can now add 'office of president' and 'how the economy works' to the massive list of things lucas has absolutely no understanding of. and by the look of that video he's back in a shelter

Several thoughts:

1. Lucas has had many stupid ideas in his life. This may be the stupidest.

2. I refuse to even indulge this moronic concept to the extent of picking apart the reasons that it's impossible and it would never work. Dignifying this idea enough to discuss the logical reasons why it's impossible is giving Lucas and his swiss cheese brain more credit than he'll ever deserve.

3. Hearing his insane laugh would be enough to make me prefer sleeping on the Spokane streets, even if it meant freezing to death.

4. It's not just that it's a stupid idea, a monumentally stupid idea, it's that he's clearly so proud of it. This is Lucas in spades. He thinks he's being brilliant when he's being completely pants on head retarded.

 

[BowlOfDick]

We can now add 'office of president' and 'how the economy works' to the massive list of things lucas has absolutely no understanding of. and by the look of that video he's back in a shelter

The key thing here in understanding Lucas’s profound immaturity isn’t found in his infantile understanding of economy, but by observing how he communicates.

It may initially sound like he’s having an actual conversation with a fellow homeless guy. However as the video goes on, it becomes increasingly apparent that they’re holding two completely different conversations with eachother around a loose topic.

The homeless dude would mention something about pay being to do with ‘your work hours and how fast your hands work’ then Lucas will agree, going on about how the guy plays guitar. He entirely missed the point the guy made, and is just going off his own monologue. It’s almost like he’s pretending to have a conversation because he hears the other person making noise at the same time as him.

What we’re witnessing is known as associate play behaviour.

This behaviour is witnessed in children ages 4-6 years. It’s where they haven’t grasped the idea of cooperation (which in this instance, involves a conversation where you receive and relay information together) but are able to organise your activity about a general concept; in this case, government and economy.

It’s a real insight into the stunted social development of the Wern and it’s not the first time I have seen him do it. It explains why he struggled as a kid to make friends at school, where he wasn’t able to progress to more cooperative play.

His behaviour, like his understanding of the way the world works, is stuck in its infancy. This, coupled with him being a sex predator with delusions of grandeur, makes him my favourite lolcow of all time.

 

[Big Redman Incorporated]

Two things:

1.) I just cannot imagine how annoying and bizarre it would be to be a hard working guy, down on his luck who just happened to end up in a homeless shelter (bad investment, bad divorce etc), and be forced to listen to that guy talk about how walking is a job, and making videos that are seen by 300 people is a job, then straight faced talk about becoming president. I would imagine the staff had put them there to make people work harder to get back on their feet and away from that guy.

2.) God, I miss the hope in my heart that came from the possibility that Pucas was face down in a ditch somewhere. It really put the spring in my step for the past week or so.

 

[LeeLoo]

The key thing here in understanding Lucas’s profound immaturity isn’t found in his infantile understanding of economy, but by observing how he communicates.

It may initially sound like he’s having an actual conversation with a fellow homeless guy. However as the video goes on, it becomes increasingly apparent that they’re holding two completely different conversations with eachother around a loose topic.

The homeless dude would mention something about pay being to do with ‘your work hours and how fast your hands work’ then Lucas will agree, going on about how the guy plays guitar. He entirely missed the point the guy made, and is just going off his own monologue. It’s almost like he’s pretending to have a conversation because he hears the other person making noise at the same time as him.

What we’re witnessing is known as associate play behaviour.

This behaviour is witnessed in children ages 4-6 years. It’s where they haven’t grasped the idea of cooperation (which in this instance, involves a conversation where you receive and relay information together) but are able to organise your activity about a general concept; in this case, government and economy.

It’s a real insight into the stunted social development of the Wern and it’s not the first time I have seen him do it. It explains why he struggled as a kid to make friends at school, where he wasn’t able to progress to more cooperative play.

His behaviour, like his understanding of the way the world works, is stuck in its infancy. This, coupled with him being a sex predator with delusions of grandeur, makes him my favourite lolcow of all time.

This is one of the best Fatty insights I’ve read. This is exactly why the Geek Room interview went off the rails. Unlike Jeremiah, when Fatty displayed an inability to maintain an adult conversation, rather than move on to something else, they kept prodding. It was essentially like trying to keep a 4 year old actively engaged in a two hour conversation with 4 adults.

About a month ago I made a burner IG in a last ditch attempt to get Fatness NeverClean to understand his absolute hypocrisy in thinking women are bigots for wanting an attractive man. Just when it seemed I was about to make a breakthrough, he went full on igit on me. He’d say something completely out of left field that had nothing to do with what we’d been discussing.

He’s an absolute horror of a human with zero redeeming qualities, and worse, an inability to change.

 

[Wernology]

We can now add 'office of president' and 'how the economy works' to the massive list of things lucas has absolutely no understanding of. and by the look of that video he's back in a shelter

"How do you pay for it? Everything is free."

"Well, they can mine for more oil or whatever."

"You don't get paid for a job, everything is free."

"As long as you have a job, everything is free."

"If you don't have a job like me, I can say that vlogging is my job."

"If you have a job $12,000 year. Everything is free."

"You don't get paid. You don't get a salary."

Jesus Fucking Christ, he's got to be legitimately brain damaged.

Edit: "You could do it with an executive order. I--you'd have to get the approval of the Supreme Court." WHICH IS IT, YOU FAT FUCK?

"The first thing I'm going to do is buy the stock market [...] and pay off the national debt."

Buy...the stock market...

He's going to "keep digital dollars in the treasury"--how. Fucking how? It's...do you know what digital means?

"If they can't buy it in the United States you could...just make it in the United States."

"It'd create tons of jobs, they wouldn't get paid anything, but they'd be able to spend as much money as they wanted." HOW? How do you spend money when you don't get paid in money because everything is magically free? This ain't Star Trek, and even if it was, you'd still need money. Even in sci-fi utopia, they still used money to some degree, even in the Federation (I mean, they wouldn't be able to trade with non-Federation societies without some form of currency being used), and definitely outside of it.


Goddamn, it is too early for this.

I honestly love the fact that he doesn't pick up on the other guy making fun of him and his stupid ideas.

Last Edit: I had to put this one up before work. It's still uploading and I have to take off but, once it finishes...

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

You may want to add: “cheesy cucumbers”, “KFC meltdown”, “sriracha Mayo”, foot pumice face, and “feggit, biggit, and MY-sauginism”

Oh, and “rotten lettuce”

Also, "Wiggers"

But I suppose it's just interchangeable with "flatbills"

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

If everything was free, this is hilarious as long as it has to come from acquiring material resources and people’s labour nothing is free, How are you going to motivate people to do the boring undesirable jobs to make everything function freely, should all the prime real estate be free so people can fight over mansions like it was a Black Friday sale at Walmart.

I don’t agree with Ayn Rand on most of her philosophy but one thing she does say which is true is that money allows us to acquire what we desire without having to resort to more brutal methods to attain it. If money was not used as a means of exchange and everything was free we would fight for what is limited or form a gang to coerce others into letting us have what we want, it would be a literal “free for all” until the national guard shows up and since no one is paying them they’ll probably be at home guarding their own families. Sure we can make a lot of essential services like healthcare free at the point of service through collective taxation but that requires a lot of things to function and a revenue stream. Lucas would be there as president flailing around trying to get insane and illegal shit passed through executive order and I’m pretty sure it would all be stopped in the courts really fast. Then he’d try and order the army to seize a bunch of shit and they’d be like that’s highly illegal on American soil.

I’m glad Lucas is not someone people take seriously. He is the poster child of a comically naive leftist that believes we can try some radical free gibs experiment with unicorn dust. Some people are for free housing, free education, free healthcare and UBI in a serious way but they know there are limits within the framework of society. And you know these are all things Lucas is receiving or has received in the United States of America which I find incredible as a Canadian, I was not aware of how generous some municipalities and states are. It’s just crazy to me that hardworking Americans get so much less than this asshole, they deserve free healthcare and education way more than a fool who contributes nothing to society besides internet lulz which Lucas can keep pretending is a job so we can all keep laughing at him. I hope he does more Spokane news segments.

Edit: Also to no surprise he doesn’t understand that a nation’s deficit does not function like personal debt. Just about every nation on earth runs at a deficit.

 

[Da Dude123]

He started another live Youtube video that he never ended up doing entitled "There is nothing as boring as my haters". Not sure why he is doing that.

No mention on his absence yet. I hope this Spokane news stuff is short lived. I couldn't sit through his interview of Shariff. Hearing two bums ramble on about needing a real news source. One hobo rambling is hard enough to listen to.

It will be interesting to see what the rest of the week brings.

 

[wenttobermuda]

Perhaps Lucas will bring us some amusing news from Spokane. The stories of neglected people on the margins have a certain appeal.

You may want to add: “cheesy cucumbers”, “KFC meltdown”, “sriracha Mayo”, foot pumice face, and “feggit, biggit, and MY-sauginism”

Oh, and “rotten lettuce”


Those are some of my favors Wern moments.

Thank you for your input. I've added your suggestions to the glossary, but for "rotten lettuce," which I don't know enough about. "Move on" has also been added.

The key thing here in understanding Lucas’s profound immaturity isn’t found in his infantile understanding of economy, but by observing how he communicates.

It may initially sound like he’s having an actual conversation with a fellow homeless guy. However as the video goes on, it becomes increasingly apparent that they’re holding two completely different conversations with eachother around a loose topic.

The homeless dude would mention something about pay being to do with ‘your work hours and how fast your hands work’ then Lucas will agree, going on about how the guy plays guitar. He entirely missed the point the guy made, and is just going off his own monologue. It’s almost like he’s pretending to have a conversation because he hears the other person making noise at the same time as him.

What we’re witnessing is known as associate play behaviour.

This behaviour is witnessed in children ages 4-6 years. It’s where they haven’t grasped the idea of cooperation (which in this instance, involves a conversation where you receive and relay information together) but are able to organise your activity about a general concept; in this case, government and economy.

It’s a real insight into the stunted social development of the Wern and it’s not the first time I have seen him do it. It explains why he struggled as a kid to make friends at school, where he wasn’t able to progress to more cooperative play.

His behaviour, like his understanding of the way the world works, is stuck in its infancy. This, coupled with him being a sex predator with delusions of grandeur, makes him my favourite lolcow of all time.

Great observation. Lucas does not play well with others.

It seems to me that Lucas's conversational style is waiting for his chance to speak, and then talking about whatever he wants to. He's not very good at listening to people and responding directly to them, but I've never though about this in terms of cooperation before. Or cooperative behavior. It's an interesting way to approach the Wern. I've thought of him as adolescent, juvenile, childish, stunted, retarded, but maybe not infantile.

The link you draw between cooperative behavior and Lucas's social deficits is spot on. Lucas is very shy. I've always thought of this as a product of his anxiety, which in part flows from his difficulty in reading people's signals and responding in a socially appropriate way.

His notion of cooperation, exemplified by his understanding of politics and programs like EBT, seems to be that people come together to give him the things that he wants, or needs. Cooperation is sharing. If you do not have something, like, say, puss puss, someone ought to be working to help you get it. Lucas finds it difficult to cooperate. He is unable to regulate his behavior to meet the expectations of a group. Hence his frequent bans and expulsions.

Lucas's desire to be part of a movement (whether online euphoric atheists, Bernie Bros, BLM, anarchocommunists) is at odds with his "cooperation deficits." He doesn't do well in groups, and historically tries to hijack the discussion. For example, his time as an acolyte of Bernie Sanders was mostly spent trying to convert others to his very personal understanding of socialist puss puss redistribution. That others did not recognize Bernie Sanders as a sex symbol who moistened the panties of a generation of teen socialist baes confused Lucas.