Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

apparently this masked femboy is in love with Lucas Werner

Maybe the tags weren't there this afternoon, but it's pretty obvious from the tags there now that he's just trying to troll Lucas. I'd hate to give Lucas any credit but he does usually notice tags on something and he's the moron who considers "creep" a slur so there's no way he'd not recognize that video with the tag #CreepsOfSpokane on it to be someone trying to get a reaction out of him.

I mean, he'd probably still give that reaction anyway, he sure as hell isn't shy about giving me a reaction I'm not even really angling for because it's easy enough to set up a youtube template to tag every video with the words creep and incel, and he's definitely too stupid to realize that in doing so he gives "the haters" exactly what they want from him: A public temper tantrum like the dancing monkey he is.

Granted, it is always funny if Lucas makes a meltdown video or two about someone that's obviously trolling him; it's a nice change for him screaming and stamping his feet over me or @Fatal Walter literally just parroting his own words back at him.

Edit: And his two from today.

 
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So the guy who admitted to pissing his pants has now also admitted to going commando? Jesus god. His pants could be classed as a superfund site at this point.
When did he admit to pissing himself? I’m not doubting that he has, but I’ve seen this claim on here before and never seen any proof of him saying that. I’ve been following his antics pretty closely since the Starbucks incident so I’m surprised I’ve never seen anything from him about that. The most I’ve seen explained about it is that some of the psych meds he has been on in the past cause incontinence.
 
When did he admit to pissing himself? I’m not doubting that he has, but I’ve seen this claim on here before and never seen any proof of him saying that. I’ve been following his antics pretty closely since the Starbucks incident so I’m surprised I’ve never seen anything from him about that. The most I’ve seen explained about it is that some of the psych meds he has been on in the past cause incontinence.
It was in one of the early Golden USB podcasts. And he admitted it himself, entirely unprompted.

Goldy went to the bathroom, and i guess that reminded Lucas that he pisses himself, so he just blurted it out.

Now, when Goldy and later his gf gave Lucas the impression it was weird, The Wern started trying to deny it, but the cat was already out of the bag.
 
Oh god, I just noticed this admission in the comments. I’m so sorry, but I can’t keep this image to myself 🤮🤮
Its even better when you think about the logistics of it all:
Lucas doesn't see the need for underwear (implying he doesn't wear them) and implies that he sometimes shits himself.
While going without underwear.

Imagine the fat hobo ragman walking around town or on campus then steaming turds just start rolling out from his pantlegs while he rants to himself wondering why he is single.
 
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You guys can call me a faggot all you want. In the four years of studying the Wern, I’m delighted to have made this my first interaction.
This was absolutely hilarious. 🏆🥇

You expect me to have shelter and change my shirt this month? BERNIESANDERSBERNIESANDERSBERNIESANDERS

Lucas is providing the content today. Big ups.
He is casting a voodoo spell chant on his ideal teenage woke bae. AOC AOC AOC BERNIE SANDERS. Something has to convince a nice girl to date this poor fat loser.

Off-topic: If you're bored sometime, you might want to check out this forum (link broken to avoid trackbacks):

http://www.soviet-empire .com

The posters are a combination of old people reminiscing about the good old days of Communism, and younger people sad because they were born too late to live under Communism. Some of the justifications and doublethink they use are as stupid as anything Lucas has said, except Lucas at least has the excuse of being a schizophrenic who does not take his medication. The only people who (IMO) have some legitimate reasons to wish for the good old days of the USSR are the residents of former Soviet client states or republics which have absolutely gone to shit since then. On the other hand, the residents of current shitholes like Moldova (which genuinely was better in Soviet days, because at least the Soviets spent some money on building and maintaining public infrastructure which the current government can't be arsed to do) aren't the ones posting on that forum either.
Quite a few of the countries that emerged after the fall of the USSR went bankrupt because their politicians stole all the wealth in the country. At least when Russia stole money from the people they left enough to make most of the cities look nice, and have some social programs that benefited the people. However, communism is still inferior to capitalism.

Jesus, the video where he's just screaming "Hook it up! Hook it up! Hook it up! OR DON'T TALK TO ME!" Okay Lucas, that's the easiest choice ever. He consistently acts like his friendship and esteem are so fucking valuable when actually he has zero friends, just a few hobo acquaintances who smoke his weed and pick on him for entertainment. Between that and "If you're not fucking me, I don't like yooooouuu!" he seems like he's completely run out of patience for anything short of total compliance with his demands. He's almost literally said that if you're not a teen bae telling him you wanna fuck, or a guy telling him a teen bae is on her way over to fuck him, he doesn't even want to hear whatever dumb fucking words are coming out of your bigot mouth.

Imagine being so thirsty, so sex-obsessed, so entitled, and so obviously disinterested in people as people and not fuck-holes or fuck-hole-providers, that you can even begin to think this way. Then imagine being so fucking stupid and un-self-aware of how it makes you look that you'll make Youtube videos where you scream about it into your phone for everyone to see. Then imagine that you're so fat that screaming about it for five minutes leaves you winded for the next hour. This is the daily reality of the Wern, truly a towering titan of failure
But, there must be someone woke enough to date Lucas. If only he can just be introduced to 1 woke bae who is not a classist ageist bigot, who also likes obese jerks. :thinking:

....I recommend a parody of this commercial, dubbing in lucas's famous 'right now' video


EDIT: here we go....


The wern is angry

Also the look he gets when he says 'all seriousness aside.....' and then gets some flash of 'wait....is that how it goes' and has to think about it for a few seconds is fucking hilarious
One of these vids is bound to convince young attractive girls to date Lucas. At this point I'm not sure what he is expecting? A chick to DM him and say 'I've watched 134 of your vids, but this last one really did the trick, can you buy me a burger?' :lol:
 
It was in one of the early Golden USB podcasts. And he admitted it himself, entirely unprompted.

Goldy went to the bathroom, and i guess that reminded Lucas that he pisses himself, so he just blurted it out.

Now, when Goldy and later his gf gave Lucas the impression it was weird, The Wern started trying to deny it, but the cat was already out of the bag.

Also, way back in the thread, there was a time Lucas took a pic of himself at the shelter wearing a hospital gown. Someone messaged him and asked if he was in the hospital and he replied no, that he was at the shelter, but his clothes were being washed because he had an accident or something to that effect. So he has admitted more than once that he pisses/shits himself at times.

Going way way back he even talked about when he was in the mental hospital, drugged up on all kinds of shit, that he would ”forget” to use the bathroom and just shit and piss himself where ever he sat.
 
Also, way back in the thread, there was a time Lucas took a pic of himself at the shelter wearing a hospital gown. Someone messaged him and asked if he was in the hospital and he replied no, that he was at the shelter, but his clothes were being washed because he had an accident or something to that effect. So he has admitted more than once that he pisses/shits himself at times.

Going way way back he even talked about when he was in the mental hospital, drugged up on all kinds of shit, that he would ”forget” to use the bathroom and just shit and piss himself where ever he sat.
Just when you think it can’t get anymore vile and disgusting with this exceptional individual it somehow does.
 

'Give in to lust, give in to thrust, give in to love, give in to me' - lucas werner

He sounds off his rocker today, and all swollen up again

EDIT: hes repeating himself in videos now

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"Give in to lust, give in to me". Lucus must be feeling extra creepy today.
 
Lucas's recent refrain about baes "lining up" at homeless shelters (to get a hobo to run their guts) resonates with Lucas "lining up" at homeless shelters (to get a bed to wet). That's what people do, in Lucas's world: form lines for things to be distributed.

Lucas's odor is part of his legend. Urine and onions. The scent of a man who does not own a pair of underwear, nor have control of his bladder.
Also, way back in the thread, there was a time Lucas took a pic of himself at the shelter wearing a hospital gown. Someone messaged him and asked if he was in the hospital and he replied no, that he was at the shelter, but his clothes were being washed because he had an accident or something to that effect. So he has admitted more than once that he pisses/shits himself at times.

Going way way back he even talked about when he was in the mental hospital, drugged up on all kinds of shit, that he would ”forget” to use the bathroom and just shit and piss himself where ever he sat.
You are correct that Lucas confessed to incontinence in his 2010 personal reflection, and framed it as an issue that he had over come.
Fat Faggot: My behavior was weird....The only three intelligent things I could do was sign my name, nod or shake my head with maybe a one or two word response and feed myself. There's something else I'm obviously forgetting. Going to the bathroom. A lot of times I would just find a bush outside and piss on it. I don't know why. It's just what did. I was pretty doped up. I'm surprised I was able to get to a toilet to deficate [sic]. Sometimes I didn't even make it that far. I had accidents. I had to retrain myself how to hold my bowels again.
The image of Lucas, at 400 lbs, wandering around a psych ward with a dump in his pants, delights me. If we were inclined towards charity, we could remark that some medications have unfortunate side effects, like incontinence. I prefer to think that Lucas is just a big, gross baby. Anyway, a decade later, Lucas leaked that he's accustomed little bladder mistakes. He apparently shits himself less, though.

It's also worth noting that Lucas's fabled Fart Chamber did not have a private toilet. Rather, multiple tenants shared one. To save time, Lucas got into the habit of pissing in his sink, when he didn't piss his pants. It is not known how often Lucas dumped in his sink. Lucas's potty training is incomplete.
 

'Give in to lust, give in to thrust, give in to love, give in to me' - lucas werner

He sounds off his rocker today, and all swollen up again

EDIT: hes repeating himself in videos now

In order to "give into lust" someone would have to be lusting after Lucas Werner - which absolutely no one does.

Unless of course, this is a suicidal cry for help, hoping some vigilante will give in and risk jail time to come put the Spokane Pedofreak out of its misery.
Buuuuuuuttttttttt its probably because he is deluded into thinking teenage girls are lusting after him.
 
You’re right that no one is lusting over an obese piss-soaked hobo. If by thrust Lucas means the reaction from an exerted force then I suppose Gen Z is equally bound by the laws of physics as the rest of the universe so we’ll all be giving into thrust. If he meant pelvic thrusts as he mounts a Gen z bae, then that is not in the cards.
 
wenttobermuda said:
The image of Lucas, at 400 lbs, wandering around a psych ward with a dump in his pants, delights me. If we were inclined towards charity, we could remark that some medications have unfortunate side effects, like incontinence. I prefer to think that Lucas is just a big, gross baby. Anyway, a decade later, Lucas leaked that he's accustomed little bladder mistakes. He apparently shits himself less, though.

Once again, the simpsons offers just such an image:


Considering how much barney looks like lucas its kind of eerie to see him wandering the streets in a diaper, handing papers out to people. In lucas's case most likely his telomere thesis or attraction signs
 
An angry incel who hasn't gotten laid in (by his commission) decades has some big-brained advice for getting women. Again, Lucus must be feeling extra creepy. today.

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"I technically am a celebrity". He has all of the downsides of being well known with no of the upsides.
 
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Well this is not true the ‘f’ word for Lucas is ‘Fecund’ or faggot

Edit: someone writing a research paper on abnormal psychology should take him up on the cheese burger date just to study him for science and what he would actually do in that situation. On second thought we would never hear the end of it as it would provide him with the small dose of validation he so desperately craves but it’d be fun to see the god-scientist unwittingly become the lab rodent. I couldn’t imagine how frustrating a subject Lucas would be for a therapist though, there would be no getting through that thick skull without a heavy dose of drugs.
 
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I don't know if anyone in here is a listener of the Howard Stern Show, but I had a thought: "What if present-day Lucas was on the Stern Show as a regular Wack Packer in the late 1990's early 2000's?"
I can see him in the mold of a Jeff the Drunk, he has poor hygiene, he is annoying and incessantly complaining about not getting attention, he doesn't know how lucky he is to not be dead. It would be really amusing to see him loose contests Howard hosted like Butt Billionaire and Hollweird Squares. It would also be quite amusing to see him defend communism, telomeres, age gap relationships, age phobia and all of his other moonshot theories on live radio with the entire American public calling in to identify flaws in his arguments. Finally, it would be just plain hilarious to see Artie Lange imitate and mock him on air and have to put up with it to maintain appearances.
 
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