Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

I was surfing around some prepaid phone companies websites like Metro, Boost and Cricket. All of them have free Android phones for new customers. Now these are not high end phones, they have low quality cameras and not the fastest processing speeds. But they do work.

And all of the prepaid services coverage is plenty good. Really, it is as good as the big names and it is more or less the same coverage that T-Mobile or AT&T provides. It's just way cheaper. All Lucas needs is enough money to cover the first months payment and a small activation fee and he is back on the grid.
 
I don't understand what he means by 'you're hungry bet' that isn't coherent grammar and kind of sounds like he's going for yoda style speech or something.
"Bet" is young people slang, it's like ok, or I get what you're saying. Sometimes as like "yea you're gonna see what happens"

"Do you wanna go to clinkerdagger and stare at some fecund ovulators young enough to be our daughter?"
"Bet!"

"I'm gonna bitch slap your faggot ass"
"You're a pussy, you're not gonna do anything."
"Bet!"
*bitch slaps his faggot ass*

Just more of his attempts to use young people slang to attract zoomers. He really is the "hello fellow kids" meme in living form.
 
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"Bet" is young people slang, it's like ok, or I get what you're saying.

"Do you wanna go to clinkerdagger and stare at some fecund ovulators young enough to be our daughter?"

"Bet!"

Just more of his attempts to use young people slang to attract zoomers. He really is the "hello fellow kids" meme in living form.
Kind of like during the Lacey saga how Lucas was using phrases like "on God". And then "Okurt'" and "on Jah". The Lacey saga was terrific. What a mistake that group made trying to befriend an lolcow.
 
Personally I'd just write "creep" or "bumcel' on the notes and leave them for him to check on later. Shame nobody tried this either
They are almost impossible to tear down due to how much packing tape he uses on them. I bet the city workers who do have to tear them down have a big laugh over them once they get back to the break room.

It was funny when he kept trying those phrases long after and it just devolved into him yelling nigger to attract teen girls. I don't know if even Chris Chan got to the point of yelling that for attention
Kind of like during the Lacey saga how Lucas was using phrases like "on God". And then "Okurt'" and "on Jah". The Lacey saga was terrific. What a mistake that group made trying to befriend an lolcow.
 
Please tell me someone tore this down. I'm kinda surprised nobody in Spokane has fucked with Lucas by messaging him on Instagram photos/videos with the notes being destroyed
Why would anyone tear this down? It's a form of outsider-art... WAY outside.

He's right, he is a comedian. Just not in the way he thinks.
 
You would think that if Pukas was so proud of being an older man, a mature older gentleman, that he wouldn't feel compelled to use this ridiculous slang associated with the current crop of teenagers.

Like, maybe he could distinguish himself by not reverting into their idiom?

Heck, maybe he could even show how ridiculous it was by his refusal to use it?

It's just another thing about Lucas that makes no goddamn sense. Just like the fact that he rails against capitalism, yet he's fully bought into the idea that something young and new and fresh is a guarantee of quality, which,if it isn't a capitalist idea directly, is at least capitalist adjacent.

Youth is no guarantee of quality, especially in relationships.

Edit:

Actually, that brings to mind a question: I wonder sometimes, if Lucas finally got his fabled gen Z bae, and it didn't lead to the Nirvana of perfect fulfillment and calmness and sanity that he hopes it will, would he tie his craziness to the next thing coming down the road, or would he completely self-destruct?

That is to say, when it became apparent that his relationship with a youngster was no better than his relationship with Suzanne, would it be the end of him, or would he move on to some new sacred cow?

Actually, I imagine he would probably find fault with the individual, and still profess that gen Z as a group was sacred, and just suggest that he'd found the wrong individual.

So I kind of answered my own question there, whoops. Still interesting to think about though.
 
Literally the only contact info is: "Lucas Werner: youtube" and his comments are disabled. How the fuck does he expect a hot zoomer chick to meet up with him??

He has his new IG listed on the about tab of that channel, maybe he's assuming they'll find him there...but why not just...never mind, I was about to try and apply logic to Lucas' thought processes there.
 
For the month of April he got the $1400 stimulus + $794 SSI. Now for May it's another $794. I don't believe his lack of phone is due to him not having the money to walk into a store to get one.


I think the 1400 got jacked, and the 794 is broken up into quarters on Monday. We are talking Lucas here, is he gonna spend the <200$ on a phone or on meals, particularly since he has been banned from shelters and thus, food. Remember when he first mentioned the Monday checks, he was asking women to Subway? Keeping it cheap. But now, per my new theory, he is trying to attract with the pricey restaurants again that he is yet to be banned from.

And Twiggs can get pricey, our bill from that one visit was 180, before tip. We were drinking though and hadn't had the time to hang out for awhile (unlike Lucas we have professional and domestic duties) so it was a splurge. So the fact that he thinks he can just roll up in there...it shows you his breadth of entitlement, narcissism, etc.
 
I think the 1400 got jacked, and the 794 is broken up into quarters on Monday. We are talking Lucas here, is he gonna spend the <200$ on a phone or on meals, particularly since he has been banned from shelters and thus, food. Remember when he first mentioned the Monday checks, he was asking women to Subway? Keeping it cheap. But now, per my new theory, he is trying to attract with the pricey restaurants again that he is yet to be banned from.

And Twiggs can get pricey, our bill from that one visit was 180, before tip. We were drinking though and hadn't had the time to hang out for awhile (unlike Lucas we have professional and domestic duties) so it was a splurge. So the fact that he thinks he can just roll up in there...it shows you his breadth of entitlement, narcissism, etc.
I don't think he got jacked. As to how much money he can get at one time from his SSI acct, back towards the end of March he said he had $500 left in the acct and he pulled out $400. He used some of the 400 to stay at Motel 6. It's in the video he made talking about how he and the guy he was with scammed the pizza delivery guy out of pizza. So it looks to be if he has the money in the acct he can get to it. Also prior to this when he's been without a phone once his SSI comes in, he's been able to get money from his acct to get himself a new one.

 
You would think that if Pukas was so proud of being an older man, a mature older gentleman, that he wouldn't feel compelled to use this ridiculous slang associated with the current crop of teenagers.

Like, maybe he could distinguish himself by not reverting into their idiom?

Heck, maybe he could even show how ridiculous it was by his refusal to use it?
He’s made plenty of videos where he says only morons use slang, he “doesn’t understand slang because he’s not a moron”, etc. So the concept of being the mature older man who doesn’t use slang has crossed his mind, but like everything else, he absolutely cannot stick to anything.
 
I don't think he got jacked. As to how much money he can get at one time from his SSI acct, back towards the end of March he said he had $500 left in the acct and he pulled out $400. He used some of the 400 to stay at Motel 6. It's in the video he made talking about how he and the guy he was with scammed the pizza delivery guy out of pizza. So it looks to be if he has the money in the acct he can get to it. Also prior to this when he's been without a phone once his SSI comes in, he's been able to get money from his acct to get himself a new one.

How do you figure it did not not get jacked, we had two to three days in a Motel Six when we should have gotten way more? With less we got much more. And the interim discussing 500 and 400, after of which he was walking around with his dick in his hand, and then we got the grand display of 1400 in his video? I am not arguing, we might me all wrong since Lucas is such a false narrator, but to rely on him to get a phone over food...well , we know...
 
How do you figure it did not not get jacked, we had two to three days in a Motel Six when we should have gotten way more? With less we got much more. And the interim discussing 500 and 400, after of which he was walking around with his dick in his hand, and then we got the grand display of 1400 in his video? I am not arguing, we might me all wrong since Lucas is such a false narrator, but to rely on him to get a phone over food...well , we know...
Well, it's not the 1st time he's had that amt of money on him and he didn't end up jacked. Prior to this he showed off the $1400 of left over financial aid + he also had the $600 stimulus + the 795 SSI. He didn't get jacked. This time we got 2-3 days at motel 6, he went off-line so we don't know how many days he actually stayed at the motel.

ETA:
It is possible he went to eat at twiggs and is inviting a Gen Z to eat with him there because he still has some of the stimulus money.
 
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And I head this in circles, but it turns out to be true. SSI recipients can save up to 100K if it meets certain requirements, and Lucas being a fucking tard and looking for housing could meet those reqs: https://www.ssa.gov/ssi/spotlights/spot-able.html
I don't think an ABLE account would be in the cards for Lucas. He would have to have someone trust worthy to run it for him. And I am sort of thinking this might be outside of the fiduciary duties of a government assigned protective payee. Since Lucas's family has more or less washed their hands of him, this would not be something that would work.

I would imagine most people who have ABLE accounts have support by a family and are able to have money beyond what their tugboat is paying put into this account, mostly by family support.

Furthermore, if Lucas had his way he wouldn't have any money saved at all. Whatever money the payee has socked away for him would have been spent on weed and Clinkerniggers and maybe an unopened board game long ago.
 
Well, it's not the 1st time he's had that amt of money on him and he didn't end up jacked. Prior to this he showed off the $1400 of left over financial aid + he also had the $600 stimulus + the 795 SSI. He didn't get jacked. This time we got 2-3 days at motel 6, he went off-line so we don't know how many days he actually stayed at the motel.
Yeah, I think maybe Lucas flashed his money one too many times and this time his phoney rapper facade came back to burn him.

At least, I kinda hope that happened. You have to at least figure it is a real possibility. He went dark after flashing all his money around. We didn't get videos of him living like a king at the Motel 6 and hearing about treating troons to dinner, and eating trays off bbq with his shirt off.

This was a departure from his normal behavior. I think him getting his money stolen is a very real possibility. He may have had to check out of the Motel 6 early and went to who knows where. But maybe not? This whole thing seems to not make sense, but Lucas of course makes no sense at all. Trying to make sense of a mad ragman and his comings and goings is no easy task.
 
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Yeah, I think maybe Lucas flashed his money one too many times and this time his phoney rapper facade came back to burn him.

At least, I kinda hope that happened. You have to at least figure it is a real possibility. He went dark after flashing all his money around. We didn't get videos of him living like a king at the Motel 6 and hearing about treating troons to dinner, and eating trays off bbq with his shirt off.

This was a departure from his normal behavior. I think him getting his money stolen is a very real possibility. He may have had to check out of the Motel 6 early and went to who knows where. But maybe not? This whole thing seems to make sense, but Lucas of course makes no sense at all. Trying to make sense of a mad ragman and his comings and goings is no easy task.
None of us really know what's been going on with the Freak and his money, but I think if he'd gotten jacked as soon as his SSI came in he would have headed to get a phone just so he could screech about how much of a "victim" he is for getting his money stolen.
 
None of us really know what's been going on with the Freak and his money, but I think if he'd gotten jacked as soon as his SSI came in he would have headed to get a phone just so he could screech about how much of a "victim" he is for getting his money stolen.
This is accurate.

He LOVES being the victim, he'll create an ersatz victim narrative if a genuine one doesn't exist, like fat Albert and his steel baseball bat, but if he has a real victim narrative to trumpet, I don't imagine too many things could keep him from letting it fly...
 
For the month of April he got the $1400 stimulus + $794 SSI. Now for May it's another $794.


This makes me so angry.

So very angry.

Jack Nicholson levels of angry.

Jack Nicholson stubbing his toe after being bitten by a rabid rat during a meth marathon angry.

That is how angry I feel that Lucas Colby Werner lives like a playboy off of other people's wages.

Payee could probably yeet him a chateau with this kind of free money.

There just aren't enough WTFs in existence to cover it all.
 
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