"Mad at the Internet" - a/k/a My Psychotherapy Sessions

  • 🐕 I am attempting to get the site runnning as fast as possible. If you are experiencing slow page load times, please report it.
Big Mommy said:
The secret to make black coffee less bitter is to add a pinch of salt. For real real. Doesn't matter the quality of the coffee, it makes it taste a thousand times better. I don't know the soyence I just know it make taste good.
Click to expand...
Makes it too sweet.
I know Amazon had these espresso shots that came in a creamer container(walmart has em for cheaper rn), they were not good, but they were insanely convenient.
 
  • Informative
Reactions: Big Mommy
People drink cheap black coffee and think all black coffee tastes like a cup of charcoal. If you buy good coffee that isn't over-roasted it tastes much better. Also many African single-origin coffees will be significantly less bitter, more fruity tasting, and even slightly sour.
 
  • Like
Reactions: King George III and I'm a Silly
MerelyAPlateOfSpaghetti said:
Why would you go Pika?

I WAS JUST GOING TO LOSE TO THE NEXT MARTH ANYWAY

I think he's mad
Click to expand...
The context is that he's a really talented Super Smash Bros Melee player, but he also plays (and acts) like a wigger retard constantly. I don't think Bobby has the makings of a lolcow, but nevertheless he has some hysterical reactions in and out of game; for example, the video where he gets talked to by airport security is gold. Here's the drunk driving stream where he drives to 7/11 to buy gas station wine BTW
 
  • Informative
Reactions: Nonconsentual Pronouns and MerelyAPlateOfSpaghetti
Big Mommy said:
The secret to make black coffee less bitter is to add a pinch of salt. For real real. Doesn't matter the quality of the coffee, it makes it taste a thousand times better. I don't know the soyence I just know it make taste good.
Click to expand...
But why would I want my coffee NOT to be bitter?
Angry Shoes said:
Also many African single-origin coffees will be significantly less bitter, more fruity tasting, and even slightly sour.
Click to expand...
I'd particularly recommend Ethiopian yrgacheffe. It works at every normal roast level, which is to say everything but the dark roast style that is mainly used to cover up inferior coffee and make the multiple sketchy sources some coffee sellers (hi Starcucks) seem to taste consistently despite mainly being the goyslop of coffee.

Even McDonald's is better, as you can tell from the fact that their coffee is almost always a medium roast. That and their insistence that franchisees maintain a certain quality of water means that even a shitty McDick's USUALLY has okay coffee. If they don't they risk getting their franchise yanked.

My favorite single bean though is from the U.S., Hawaiian kona. Good luck finding it because much like red snapper, where most of it on the market is absolutely fake shit, other fish sold as red snapper, swindlers will sell all kinds of crap as kona. It generally favors a light roast. Don't trust darker roasts unless you get them green and do it yourself because you can't trust anyone. Also a dark roast for it is the coffee equivalent of a well done steak.

But guess what? McDonald's coffee is actually pretty good. Even the K-cup version is half-decent.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: Big Mommy, Wright and KateHikes14
bookers said:
Jersh please start appealing your twitter bans on stream again
Click to expand...
Although my appeals are rejected between 5 ~ 30 minutes on average, when I appealed my old sock accounts from years ago they took multiple hours to get denied. This indicates to me that the system for my appeals is now different than the real system and I am not getting any chance.
 
  • Feels
  • Informative
  • Like
Reactions: Chi, Justa Grata Honoria, PunkinMan and 22 others
Angry Shoes said:
People drink cheap black coffee and think all black coffee tastes like a cup of charcoal. If you buy good coffee that isn't over-roasted it tastes much better. Also many African single-origin coffees will be significantly less bitter, more fruity tasting, and even slightly sour.
Click to expand...
Many years ago, I was friends with a guy who owned a coffee shop. I walked in one day, and he practically shouted at me, "Dude, I got this shit from Ethiopia and you have to try it.", before thrusting a whole cup into my hands. He usually gave me shots of new coffees to try. It was the best goddamn coffee I've had in my life, and I have been chasing that particular dragon ever since. Yirgacheffe, if anyone cares to know. I did ask him why he handed me a large coffee instead of a shot, and he told me I'd want the large anyway. Cool guy. Told me to pay cash, so he didn't have to pay sales tax.
 
  • Winner
  • Informative
  • Like
Reactions: Irrational Exuberance, Catgirl Tyranid, Wright and 4 others
Big Mommy said:
The secret to make black coffee less bitter is to add a pinch of salt. For real real. Doesn't matter the quality of the coffee, it makes it taste a thousand times better. I don't know the soyence I just know it make taste good.
Click to expand...
The two most likely answers are by sodium ions helping to block the bitter chemicals from reaching the G-protiens used for signal transduction or by the sodium ions directly affecting the cell membranes that would allow the bitter compounds to get through in the first place.

If someone is getting coffee grounds with a French press they are using it incorrectly.
 
  • Informative
  • Like
Reactions: Why am I doing this?, Big Mommy and Nonconsentual Pronouns
Regarding coffee, Mystic Monk Coffee is the best whole bean I've ever had. I've tried their Cowboy Blend, Midnight Vigils Blend, and my wife has tried the Vespers decaf. We just got a cheap hand crank coffee grinder and made it with a very basic pour-over cup and filter brewer (sits on top of the cup) and it's literally the best coffee I've ever had. I can only imagine it in the hands of an actual barista lol

Friedrich Hayek's Ghost said:
Many years ago, I was friends with a guy who owned a coffee shop. I walked in one day, and he practically shouted at me, "Dude, I got this shit from Ethiopia and you have to try it.", before thrusting a whole cup into my hands. He usually gave me shots of new coffees to try. It was the best goddamn coffee I've had in my life, and I have been chasing that particular dragon ever since. Yirgacheffe, if anyone cares to know. I did ask him why he handed me a large coffee instead of a shot, and he told me I'd want the large anyway. Cool guy. Told me to pay cash, so he didn't have to pay sales tax.
Click to expand...
Maybe the Mystic Monk Ethiopian blend could barely resemble the dragon?

Edit: They mention Yirgacheffe blends too:

"Yes! We happily supply the best coffee from the Yirgacheffe region of Ethiopia.

A refined light-roasted coffee with a delicate body and a bright taste that includes notes of sweet honey-suckle blossoms and fruity citrus in every cup. Its smooth but intense taste is a great way to refresh yourself during a long workday or after an intense study session.

Mystic Monk's Yirgacheffe Chelbessa blend produces a perfect medium-roasted cup of coffee filled with exotic flavors, and is an excellent addition to include along with our classic Ethiopian roast coffee."
 
Last edited:
  • Informative
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: Optantrix, Irrational Exuberance, Hraf and 3 others
All too often, coffee has a distinct, gross flavor for a few common reasons: stale beans, dirty machines, and burning hot water.
1) Buying freshly roasted beans from some local joint is probably the best bet. If you're stuck importing, good luck.
2) There are many inaccessible parts in electric machines that get nasty over time. There are a few options for avoiding them altogether:
- Conical glass - Your best bet imo. Use a burr grinder to somewhat finely grind the beans (texture like sand or more coarse). Use metal filters instead of paper filters so they don't retain all the oils. Don't overbrew (burn) it. It can make a ton of coffee decently fast.
- French press - Waste of coffee. Less surface area on a coarse grind means less flavor. Might as well use flavored coffee at this point. Otherwise comparable to conical.
- Cold brew - Probably the least compatible since your consumption varies. Add grounds and water, shake sometimes and refrigerate throughout 24 hours, filter. Fun to try for variety or a special occasion.
- Mechanical espresso press - Likely brews too little for your needs. If you do wind up diminishing your caffeine intake, I would recommend a mechanical espresso press above all else because they are easy to use/maintain/store. You have the most control this way. Whatever particle physics-obsessed part in your brain would get a kick out of it I bet. An electric kettle and distilled water are nearly impossible to beat for convenience. It should go without saying; don't drink the distilled water on its own.
3) Brewing coffee near 200°F (94°C) is the best way to preserve all of the flavorful oils. Machines are bad at this. Get some water to boiling and wait a minute or so. Use a thermometer the first few tries to get the timing.
4) Bonus; Beans vary a lot. I recommend trying a bunch. Low-acid strains can help with digestion if that affects you. Blends from roasters are usually just the two to four types they had at the time.

P.S.: If you do opt to get a fancy espresso machine, get some junky low-end one first to gain experience and learn your preferences.
 
  • Informative
  • Agree
Reactions: Irrational Exuberance, Hraf and Oh Darn
Pelican Bones said:
You use course ground coffee in a French press. If you are getting grounds into the cup when you decant the coffee off you are using it incorrectly.
Click to expand...
You're not understanding me.

What Josh is complaining about is not something either of us would actually call grounds.

When you grind coffee, no matter how coarse it is, some level of particulate matter is produced, like Coffee dust. A portion of that particulate matter is smaller than the holes in a french press mesh filter and thus ends up in the coffee and gathers at the bottom in a sort of sludge. Most French Press enjoyers just swish the last sip of coffee and drink it down, but thats optional.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: KateHikes14, I'm a Silly and Pelican Bones
For me it's the moka pot, the best way of brewing coffee.

Jk I think Josh just needs to get coffee beans that aren't some over roasted Starbucks shit and a good cheap grinder. Having good beans that are freshly ground will make for good coffee, no matter how you brew your coffee. There's no shame in adding dairy or sugar to your coffee as long as it doesn't become coffee milk (even then it'll still taste good). You don't have to be a black coffee snob like me and others on the forum. It's a gradual process. And eventually you learn to like the process too. Nothing comfier than brewing a hot cuppa in the morning.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: no-exit, Jimmy Dean Bowl, Oh Darn and 1 other person
Waifuwars said:
For me it's the moka pot, the best way of brewing coffee.

Jk I think Josh just needs to get coffee beans that aren't some over roasted Starbucks shit and a good cheap grinder. Having good beans that are freshly ground will make for good coffee, no matter how you brew your coffee. There's no shame in adding dairy or sugar to your coffee as long as it doesn't become coffee milk (even then it'll still taste good). You don't have to be a black coffee snob like me and others on the forum. It's a gradual process. And eventually you learn to like the process too. Nothing comfier than brewing a hot cuppa in the morning.
Click to expand...
There's certifications and coffee standard regulations, just make sure whatever you find is certified gourmet on the back and you're set, I'd recommend Brazilian or Colombian coffee, since those are the two exports that we're quality leaders in, the other being cocaine.


A moka has a learning curve and is really easy to burn if you don't watch it, and also the coffee gets really strong, much more than a machine or just plain filter one.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back