"Mad at the Internet" - a/k/a My Psychotherapy Sessions

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The secret to make black coffee less bitter is to add a pinch of salt. For real real. Doesn't matter the quality of the coffee, it makes it taste a thousand times better. I don't know the soyence I just know it make taste good.
I know this must sound crazy to most people, but it's true. Salt cuts through bitterness while enhancing other flavors. Remember, salt is a required ingredient when making sweets.

A pinch of salt and a pinch of cinnamon (or cinnamon/ginger/nutmeg/cloves blend) in your grounds will change your life.

ETA: Please use light roast, AKA breakfast roast. The darker the roast, the more bitter the coffee, the less caffeine and usually the shittier the beans. The process of roasting literally cooks the caffeine out of the beans, and burnt beans can be the shittiest quality because you wouldn't notice anyway, hence Starbucks tasting like the pits of Hell.
 
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Meme for the board.
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I have spent way too much time, money and effort on my coffee over the years. It's not apex level shit, but it's good enough, and that's good enough for me. Never owned an espresso machine, but received training for them as I used to pull espresso shots when I worked in a restaurant. I'll let other coffee spergs handle coffee grinders, that's probably my weakest point of info. After years of trying to min-max my coffee, I've settled into a comfortable routine with a french press. I might get fancy someday and get my own espresso machine but I'm not trying to win awards, I'm just saying what's worked for me.

1.) On espresso machines - you absolutely get what you pay for, to a point. Don't fuck with Breville - their quality has gone downhill in recent years. While I haven't personally purchased ones, I hear great things about the Lelit brand. James Hoffman is an excellent resource for all things coffee and espresso**. Learn how to properly fill your portafilter, tamp, and pull a shot, and for the love of god, invest in a level and properly weighted tamper. People will get a lightweight, shitty tamper and just guess at the amount of pressure that you need to apply to the shot, when ideally your tamper's weight should be doing most of the work for you (at least on the first press, when you settle the tamper on the portafilter). Here's how to tamp a shot.

2.) On aeropress, chemex, french press - I know you said you hate french press coffee because of the little fiddly coffee sand at the bottom, but I guarantee you that someone just fucked up and ground the coffee too fine for the french press. Once you dial in the type of grind you need for your brew method, the french press hits the sweet spot for me as far as
a.) Producing sufficient coffee​
b.) In a streamlined process​
c.) That extracts properly and doesn't taste like ass.​
Chemex is fine, but I hate gooseneck kettles and the reddit obsession with the ritual of the pourover. Fuck off. It also doesn't produce as much coffee as my gigantic 50oz french press. Same problems with aeropress, but I will say the aeropress flavor is amazing, if you're okay with the very small volume it provides.
3.) Get good beans - Stumptown Roasters has my favorite coffee beans ever, but shockingly Aldi has some organic coffee beans that are quite good. Not as good as $17 a bag coffee, but a good daily driver. Costco has decent beans too. I dunno, find something you like. I didn't go down the rabbit hole of blends/single origin because I couldn't be fucked to spend a lot of time on it. Get a sampler of beans from a few different companies, see what flavor profiles you like (caramel notes? More fruit forward?) and find something YOU think tastes good.

4.) Use decent water - I won't belabor the point, but just make sure you're using decent, filtered water for whatever brew method you're using. The beverage you're making is almost all water, make sure it tastes good and isn't full of bullshit.

5.) On using milk & sugar - There's literally nothing wrong with adding these to a drink, do not feel like you need to remove them. I'd say winnow down on sugar as much as possible to just take the edge of the bitterness off if you're super concerned about it, but if you have what equates to 1 tsp per cup, you're not going to die. Milk and sugar will actually prevent you from getting coffee jitters or spikes of anxiety. I used to drink all my coffee black up until six months ago, and I don't see myself going back tbh.

** But, keep in mind he's a champion barista so he goes fucking overkill on everything. The playlist I linked above is a lot of information, but it's instructive in that he calls out pretty much all the pitfalls that can get between pulling a decent shot.
 
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Touched upon this on MATI for the humor which was enjoyed. But watching that debate tonight and listening to that pretty boy faggot say 'we checked, they were not eating animals' when every /pol/ chud knows they most certainly were really grinds my gears.


source

Watching these faggots run defense for people that commit animal cruelty just because they can score points on orange man is enabling this subhuman behavior and really needs to end.
 
Forgot to post this: snowbirds are not sex-specific; example: Florida has a lot of snowbirds <-- if someone says this, he isn't hot for Grandma, he's just talking about old people. IDK why, but it must have seemed important to make this distinction when I quoted it.
They making a movie about Trump right before elections
I wonder why.
Sebastian Stan looks like a spic in whiteface in this, jfc.
The whole history behind "get women to drink/smoke/vote/work" is a fucking disgusting jew-infested pile of shit. E Michael Jones used to dig into that shit, it's all like 1880s-1920s era shit. Too bad KF didn't exist back then.
You're conflating women's suffrage and temperance movements with Bernays/smoking; also, women have always worked.
I already shared with you the wisdom of how to make black coffee taste good, and you rejected it. The secret of French Press is the preservation of the coffee's natural oils which most types of coffee filter out.

The price you pay to preserve those oils is some tiny particulate levels of grains remain, to mitigate this grind the beans yourself and use the coarsest possible setting on your grinder. The only grains that get in then are basically powder and they collect at the bottom of the glass. If you don't want to drink them just don't swish the coffee around at the bottom, they will stay in the glass.

By preserving the oils the mouthfeel and flavor of the coffee is nicely rounded. Once you start drinking French Press all other forms of coffee will taste and feel watered down.
^this is the correct take; making French press coffee is insanely easy
 
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Although my appeals are rejected between 5 ~ 30 minutes on average, when I appealed my old sock accounts from years ago they took multiple hours to get denied. This indicates to me that the system for my appeals is now different than the real system and I am not getting any chance.
This might be true but it also might not be true.
I have a theory that who you get is dependent on what time of the day you send your appeal in.
Also, I'm pretty sure you can appeal multiple times a day.
I was banned before and sometimes would get bounced back immediately but sometimes would not even if I sent one in like 2 hour later.

What I'm saying is you should try different shit.

Edit:
On the coffee front, cold brew is the way to go.
I've posted this many times before in this thread I think and others too.
Takeya is very good but also something like this, they're super cheap
You just grind the beans and let it sit over night and you have good iced coffee in the morning.
Screenshot 2024-09-10 235026.png

double edit: how dare you gay me for this.
French presses are also fine if you're into hot coffee, but my personal preference is for cold brew coffee.
There's less urgency to drink a cold coffee then there is a hot super deluxe coffee like an espresso or whatever.
Anyways:
Even with dogshit beans you can get good tasting coffee out of a coldbrew.
This is the way.
 
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He's used to latin spanish, castillan is pretty badass as is european portuguese.
Since he's from Florida it was probably a lot of Cuban Spanish which a friend from Ecuador said can be hard to understand.

Edit: there's a reason Scarface talks like a retard
Josh was from panhandle Florida. He probably heard far more central Mexican and Guatemalan Spanish than Cuban. Also, the "socioeconomic" class of the speaker plays a big role.

Iberian Spanish either sounds very cool or very retarded. Much like Bong English.
 
Touched upon this on MATI for the humor which was enjoyed. But watching that debate tonight and listening to that pretty boy faggot say 'we checked, they were not eating animals' when every /pol/ chud knows they most certainly were really grinds my gears.
Who’s “they”?
This abomination appears to be an American. It’s a single isolated case of a probably drugged up skitzo.

Not to excuse it, being executed on the spot would be too good an outcome.

But how do you get from that to an epidemic of Haitian immigrants eating pets?
 
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Who’s “they”?
This abomination appears to be an American. It’s a single isolated case of a probably drugged up skitzo.

Not to excuse it, being executed on the spot would be too good an outcome.

But how do you get from that to an epidemic of immigrants eating pets?
It might have something to do with the fact that Hatians have been known to eat mud cookies.

Is it so outlandish that recent immigrants from a country with endemic famine and foot shortage are used to eating anything they can get their hands on?

Just don't ask Dominicans what they think of their neighbors.
 
It might have something to do with the fact that Hatians have been known to eat mud cookies.

Is it so outlandish that recent immigrants from a country with endemic famine and foot shortage are used to eating anything they can get their hands on?
Sure, and voodoo and all that.

But has there been a single case of a Haiti immigrant stealing and eating a pet in Springfield or anywhere else?

This is literally just a shitpost straight from 4chan that’s made it into the presidential debate, isn’t it.
 
Sure, and voodoo and all that.
Mud cookies are a real thing. If you've never lived in a famine ridden third world country, you would not really understand.
This is literally just a shitpost straight from 4chan that’s made it into the presidential debate, isn’t it.
I really hope so. That's the funniest origin. However, as far as I can tell, this a Facebook thing. Could be wrong though.
 
Many years ago, I was friends with a guy who owned a coffee shop. I walked in one day, and he practically shouted at me, "Dude, I got this shit from Ethiopia and you have to try it.", before thrusting a whole cup into my hands. He usually gave me shots of new coffees to try. It was the best goddamn coffee I've had in my life, and I have been chasing that particular dragon ever since. Yirgacheffe, if anyone cares to know. I did ask him why he handed me a large coffee instead of a shot, and he told me I'd want the large anyway. Cool guy. Told me to pay cash, so he didn't have to pay sales tax.
Yeah a friend of mine runs a coffee shop he wants to ask me for 10 grand for start up money for half of it really should have given it to him there's a lot of money in coffee shops.
Jokes on him I have always gone free espresso and coffee drinks ever since
 
Everyone here has some great coffee advice. To make good coffee you only need 3 things, and only one needs to be good.
- Coffee beans
- A grinder
- A strainer

Seriously. I've made excellent coffee with a hammer and a rice strainer... Well excellent to me anyway..

That said, if you want to step it to the next level, I've never ever regretted spending money on a conical burr grinder.
 
Is it so outlandish that recent immigrants from a country with endemic famine and foot shortage are used to eating anything they can get their hands on?
Shit, look at the chinks, especially after the great retard Mao told them to melt down all of their farming equipment and murder every bird in sight. Those fucks still eat shit like sea cucumber, starfish, dogs and cats like that's just the thing to do. No regard for morality or nutrition; they'll eat anything that won't immediately kill them.
 
Edit:
On the coffee front, cold brew is the way to go.
I've posted this many times before in this thread I think and others too.
Takeya is very good but also something like this, they're super cheap
You just grind the beans and let it sit over night and you have good iced coffee in the morning.
View attachment 6403599

double edit: how dare you gay me for this.
French presses are also fine if you're into hot coffee, but my personal preference is for cold brew coffee.
There's less urgency to drink a cold coffee then there is a hot super deluxe coffee like an espresso or whatever.
Anyways:
Even with dogshit beans you can get good tasting coffee out of a coldbrew.
This is the way.
I came to post my coffee opinion, and my recommendation is even simpler than this. Retard easy, even. If I want to make "cold brew" coffee, I literally just grind out something like 1:8 coffee grounds to water - e.g. a cup of grounds for 2 quarts (64 oz) - and put it in a sealed container on the counter, room temp, for like a day. Might not even take that long, haven't tried just doing it overnight but might work fine. Then just strain and it's good to go, put in the fridge, anything.

The resulting coffee is mellow, drinkable straight but fine with cream of course, and keeps for days without loss of flavor. I've literally done a lazy batch ground with a cheap food processor, store brand slop beans, in some mason jar for a day, then strained with some spare mesh strainer. Didn't matter, turned out fine. I've heard people just make a french press worth, sit it overnight, and press and drink in the morning.
 
Since he's from Florida it was probably a lot of Cuban Spanish which a friend from Ecuador said can be hard to understand.

Edit: there's a reason Scarface talks like a retard
He's used to latin spanish, castillan is pretty badass as is european portuguese.

I find it easier to somewhat understand Mexican Spanish than Cuban Spanish. Hondurans and El salvadorans speak a weird sounding Spanish too
 
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