"Mad at the Internet" - a/k/a My Psychotherapy Sessions

Government cheese isn't Velveeta, isn't American, isn't cheddar. It's like an amalgamation of all three and pretty fucking delicious - makes a great mac-n-cheese.
The government stockpiles of 1.5 billion pounds of cheese as a strategic reserve in giant underground caves carved out of giant salt deposits. If shit ever goes tits up we will at least have enough cheese to last us until we restart civilization. Let's see the yuropoors match that.
Cheese caves.jpg
 
The only person I personally know that uses American cheese is my 80 year old grandmother who only uses it to make grilled cheese sandwiches.

Power level: Cheeses I have bought in the past 3 months from Food Lion:
Gouda, Brie, Swiss, White Cheddar, several goat cheeses, Feta, Provolone, Mosserella (Fresh), Colby, cream cheese and Asiago.
Maybe these are not as premium as their Euro versions, but I have no way of verifying that.

Is Euros dunking on Americans for cheese the equivalent of "wytepeepo don't season dey food?"
 
I've seen ONE Kroger that was not the bottom of the barrel. One. Somewhere in central Ohio.
All the Krogers around me went to complete dogshit after the pandemic. It's like they just don't care anymore. Before that, they seemed to actually be trying to go upscale - they all got a fancy cheese section, sushi, new freezers, and they're still the only place I know of that does hot rotisserie turkey (if that ever goes away, there's nothing left for me).

I remember in the early days of Covid, all the Krogers immediately went with one-way aisles complete with red/green arrows (or was it feet? who cares anymore, lol). I wasn't paying attention and a worker actually stopped me with a snotty "wrong way, sir." It's like that set the tone for what was to come.
 
Government cheese isn't Velveeta, isn't American, isn't cheddar. It's like an amalgamation of all three and pretty fucking delicious - makes a great mac-n-cheese.

I went to Florida once back in the 90's and the cheese section was fucking tiny (being a Midwesterner I am used to a large selection of cheeses at will). Chalked it up to the climate and demand. When you have a literal cheese castle just a short drive away, I suppose you take it for granted. Homemade deep-fried beer-battered cheese curds *insert Homer drool*
Yeah, maybe it's a consequence of Florida having too many browns, tourists who are there specifically for the generic soy-slop, meth-americans, and an elderly demographic that might not be able to stomach cheeses any longer.

The white areas like Destin are really the only oases to be found.
 
Sticker sperging: The white oval stickers with black text can mean several things. Some are location-based and might be an airport code. Examples are "OBX" for the Outer Banks and "30A" for the popular stretch of road between PCB and Destin. 26.2/13.1 are for marathon/half-marathon runners. Other numbers generally refer to some other sport interest. "DVC" is interesting because you'll notice a subtle Mickey Mouse ears silhouette. This is for the "Disney Vacation Club" which is the mouse's timeshare business. Read as "I dropped $30K on something I'll never get $30K in value from and all I got was this dumb sticker."

It's basically another thing for the kind of people who do those kid stickers on their car or "Live, Laugh, Love!" signs in their home.
 
I've always thought American cheese is shit, so I can back up my nibber Josh with this unpopular opinion. Here's the twist though - I've only visited America twice and both times it was Florida, so maybe I've been wrong all these years and the American cheese problem is in fact just a Florida cheese problem 🤔🤔
 
I may have no guns, and the Euro is like 20 cents to a dollar, but at least I can enjoy a good cheese!

Man, pre-covid they would serve up free samplings of goat's cheese and blackberry jam at my local supermarket. Godly combo. Please try it instead of cheese that is mostly vegetable oil!
 
The government stockpiles of 1.5 billion pounds of cheese as a strategic reserve in giant underground caves carved out of giant salt deposits. If shit ever goes tits up we will at least have enough cheese to last us until we restart civilization. Let's see the yuropoors match that.
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Every single Lidl in Europe has it's own giant cheese cave.
 
Do Americans have like young cheese and old cheese? Or is that like a specific Netherlands thing?
Basically old cheese is a bit harder and saltier, while young cheese is very soft.

Might be that you fellers have a different name for it
I don’t notice that kind of labeling here but I think rather it might just be seperated based on texture and flavor rather than how long it’s been aged. Least for my stores. I stick to the softer creamier ones anyway like Brie.
 
Non-American opinions on America get thrown in the trash. Live here for a while and try again.
And I'm sorry Krogerbros that your stores aren't that good because I always liked my state's version. The store was pretty new and had a boatload of cheese options.
Every single Lidl in Europe has it's own giant cheese cave.
No they don't lol. Edeka maybe but not Lidl. The place I went to in northern Germany had a shitty little Lidl with a tiny fridge of cheese. The British Cheddar there was good tho.
 
Null is trying not to sound fat while admitting that he drinks hot sauce. lol
it's not a fat thing it's a King Cobes thing that is most deff what's up.

When are we getting a live "cooking with Null segment where you do shots of 2 parts buffalo sauce, 2 parts hollandaise, and 2 parts vodka? wash it down with some home made bacon mead or something too.
 
Is Euros dunking on Americans for cheese the equivalent of "wytepeepo don't season dey food?"
They’re desperate for any sort of win they can get.

It’s probably better quality cheeses and far more variety over there, I wish I could have tried some when I went to the UK, but I brought my relatives along and they only wanted to visit the old universities and other typical American tourist shit. Waste of a trip.
 
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When are we getting a live "cooking with Null segment where you do shots of 2 parts buffalo sauce, 2 parts hollandaise, and 2 parts vodka? wash it down with some home made bacon mead or something too.
This is unrelated, but take a Prairie Oyster base and add an ounce of good Gin and you'll have a delicious shot that also serves as a cheap and light lunch.

Prairie Oyster +
- Egg yolk
- Dashes of Tabasco to taste
- Pinches of Salt and Pepper
- 3/4 Oz Worcestershire Sauce
- 1 Oz London Dry Gin (Don't go uber cheap on this, but you don't need to break the bank)
 
When are we getting a live "cooking with Null segment where you do shots of 2 parts buffalo sauce, 2 parts hollandaise, and 2 parts vodka? wash it down with some home made bacon mead or something too.
But not before biting into a brick of the finest English cheddar he could find within a brisk 10 5 minute walk from his home.
 
Gas makes car go, and it's the proper fuel for a car...so bad analogy.
It's a fantastic analogy as long as you don't rape it to death, there's 40 octane early fuel that will work for really low performance. There's toxic additives like lead used to boost octane. There's corn subsidies involved for good reasons but very concerning unintended consequences. There's people who only use the finest gasoline spending money completely unnecessarily, because they are putting it in a non-perfomance vehicle (dudes getting into working out and spending a grand on supplements that do nothing for them because they do nothing).
 
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