✨ Celebrity Madonna - elderly woman mired in existential crisis.

[BroccoliBrain]

Wtf is that tweet though, is this randumb humour coming from her? Fried fish? Like there's no food left in quarantine so eat that instead? Come on, Mads, it's supposed to be rice and beans you dusty bint.

Those quarantine diaries are downright insensitive. They sound like a fucking parody:
"Day two... or is it night? Or does it matter? I lost track of time [mumbly bullshit I can't hear]"
"Quarantine day five. I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. It seems like every minute of the day is spent making snap decisions, life changing decisions, do or die decisions"

I... I have no words for this shit. Ok, boomer, those fancy candles are probably $10 each and I'm sure you're so tired from filming your vital message that it must take some sort of inner strength to pick up that iPhone beside you. The latest diary entry with her in the tub is more creepy cat-lady droning from her pillowy face about how coronavirus affects us all and "makes us equal". I'm starting to think she's actually insane.

 

[Bees]

I think she‘d be buying the blood of infants to bathe in if it worked.

You are so, so close to accepting the truth.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

I wonder what employees got stuck as Madonna’s quarantine slaves?

Certainly some nannies to take care of the youngest African orphans, a cook, house cleaner and then 1 or 2 gay assistants BFF to remind her how fabulous she is and make her iPhone and iPad do things she wants.

I’m actually curious how many of her kids, biological or adopted, are in the premises with her. I‘d guess zero but pretty sure some of her more recent African acquisitions are under 12.

 

[DontDoxThanks]

I keep getting recommended this article, she loves the religious martyr look.

I feel like someone is just letting their addled nanna play dress up at this point

 

[Aviva's Biotech-Breakdown]

i know this goes without saying but every time i check in on her to see what she's up to, i'm baffled all over again and her complete inability to just fuck off and enjoy her wealth. like who cares if people find you cool when you're as loaded as she is?

she's worth at least $700 million. she could be doing anything other than filming gross videos and attempting to be sexy to her (most likely) cult gay male fan base. barbra streisand is old and rich as fuck and minds her business...all madonna had to do was drop her coke habit and quit mixing benzos with her $450 bottle of moët for breakfast.

 

[Parthenos]

i know this goes without saying but every time i check in on her to see what she's up to, i'm baffled all over again and her complete inability to just fuck off and enjoy her wealth. like who cares if people find you cool when you're as loaded as she is?

she's worth at least $700 million. she could be doing anything other than filming gross videos and attempting to be sexy to her (most likely) cult gay male fan base. barbra streisand is old and rich as fuck and minds her business...all madonna had to do was drop her coke habit and quit mixing benzos with her $450 bottle of moët for breakfast.

Celebrities who don't try to hang on to their fame are infinitely more interesting people than if they do try.

One of my favorite examples is Enya, who was famous for a bit in the early 2000s and made scads of money with her albums.
Now she lives as a recluse in a tiny Irish castle with her cats and a few staff people. The only times she was seen in public in the last decade were when she was Christmas shopping. That's still cooler than you, Madonna.

 

[LuthienTinuviel]

That's the thing: not everyone can be Grace Jones and age as well as she did (partly because black don't crack, partly because Grace is probably a witch).

i know this goes without saying but every time i check in on her to see what she's up to, i'm baffled all over again and her complete inability to just fuck off and enjoy her wealth. like who cares if people find you cool when you're as loaded as she is?

she's worth at least $700 million. she could be doing anything other than filming gross videos and attempting to be sexy to her (most likely) cult gay male fan base. barbra streisand is old and rich as fuck and minds her business...all madonna had to do was drop her coke habit and quit mixing benzos with her $450 bottle of moët for breakfast.

To be fair, Babs can be pretty exceptional from time to time and she's self-absorbed as fuck (she's been that way since she started dating Jon Peters back in the 70s and the remake for A Star Is Born being a complete clusterfuck during production), but it's not a constant stream of cringe either. She's still a good performer who can put on a good show, and who's also aware she's not getting any younger and can also adjust her repertoire depending on how her voice changes. Unlike Madge.

That's her during a concert in 2019:

Compare that to Madge during Eurovision the same year (putting a filming of the live performance instead of what was on TV since the latter got autotuned:

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

I keep getting recommended this article, she loves the religious martyr look.

I feel like someone is just letting their addled nanna play dress up at this point

She also likes the BBC like a lot of white women her age, there's never a social rock bottom.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Madonna praises Carona chan while soaking in her million dollar tub looking like an old, Chinese Madonna impersonator.
She's gotta be on drugs.

 

[T0oCoolFool]

Madonna praises Carona chan while soaking in her million dollar tub looking like an old, Chinese Madonna impersonator.
She's gotta be on drugs.

What the hell happened to her face? It's not moving, there isn't a wrinkle in sight, and her eyes look different too. It's so creepy, as if she's wearing a mask. That can't just be botox.

 

[Lagomorph Lucy]

What the hell happened to her face? It's not moving, there isn't a wrinkle in sight, and her eyes look different too. It's so creepy, as if she's wearing a mask. That can't just be botox.

It looks like she's got fillers in the lower half of her face, botox, and a weapons grade facelift that has given her those Spock eyebrows.

 

[Maggots on a Train v2]

There's something really strange about her shoulders, too. Her deltoids are oddly puffy, I guess she's staying "youthful" by injecting body builder faker juice. This crazy woman is as embalmed as Lenin's corpse.

 

[Jeffrey Epstein]

What a crazy bitch. I hope that the quarantines aren't a way for celebs to further paint over independent content creators.

 

[Parthenos]

What a crazy bitch. I hope that the quarantines aren't a way for celebs to further paint over independent content creators.

I think the opposite, since online is a lot of independents' native ground. People like Madonna are used to being out and about and being seen by crowds. It's going to drive so many of them up the wall, especially since most of them live in California which is locked down pretty hard.

 

[Attackhelicopter89]

And yet our moms and grandmas all hit age 57 and cooked our Christmas dinners without riding around on trikes and pleading for love from strangers. What is it about the entertainment industry that women don't allow themselves the natural aging process? Yes, youth is sexy and she was smoking hot in her day. Then it becomes about other things-or it should.

Especially for the queen of reinvention.

I didn't know Madonna was breaking down like this, it's sad and also stupid. Lay off the booze, Madonna, get your kid back and take care of yourself with your fucking millions.

There are some female celebs that look great in their old age. Vanessa Williams, Phylicia Rashad, Tina Turner, Christie Brinkley, and Cindy Crawford to name a few

 

[Cheesegirl78]

There are some female celebs that look great in their old age. Vanessa Williams, Phylicia Rashad, Tina Turner, Christie Brinkley, and Cindy Crawford to name a few

I love Christie Brinkley, but she's been nipped and tucked for YEARS. She just has a really good surgeon. But look at her neck (or any other celebrities' neck) surgeons haven't been able to do a really good neck lift yet, and that gives it away.

 

[Jeffrey Epstein]

I think the opposite, since online is a lot of independents' native ground. People like Madonna are used to being out and about and being seen by crowds. It's going to drive so many of them up the wall, especially since most of them live in California which is locked down pretty hard.

Except when they take time off to be in/direct a movie, or in between albums (it is common for a lot of musicians to give the news cycle a break when they are not promoting an album, because there is nothing to promote and they want time off to themselves). It is an industry LIE that you can't get away from the cameras; if you are 'surprised' that you got caught at an airport or especially at a trendy club/restaurant, etc, then that is usually either expected by them or done on purpose. There are channels for maintaining extreme secrecy: decoy people/automobiles, back alleys, other entrances/exits, and all sorts of weird parking garages, but obviously extreme security measures probably cost more to organize and aren't done all the time. However, I notice ghosting periods or blackout periods from many musicians when they don't have a project to shill, but I do take your point as valid, seeing as how she's cooped up, she's needing to make 'cryptic' shit videos or just weird stuff to get people wondering/talking, or she's just being a ridiculous version of a rich Karen in her mansion with Freida Kahlo paintings (If she wanted more paintings of eyebrows with faces attached, she should get one of Shane Dawson).

 

[T0oCoolFool]

There's something really strange about her shoulders, too. Her deltoids are oddly puffy, I guess she's staying "youthful" by injecting body builder faker juice. This crazy woman is as embalmed as Lenin's corpse.

You know, I was thinking something was off with them, but couldn't put my finger on what that could be. Madonna's shoulders look big but they also look soft and squishy instead of firm like muscle. And I doubt it would be due to her age, I workout with women her age and older, you can still tell they have muscle underneath their skin.

 

[BroccoliBrain]

Fuck, is this what ADHD American editing is like? Just watched the video from her Twitter to get her undistilled crazy, I don't need a useless presenter telling me what to think and cutting in every few seconds of footage. I guess I have to watch this now because the original is gone from her Twitter and Instagram, teehee.

"What's terrible about it is what's great about it. What's terrible about is that it's made us all equal in many ways. And what's wonderful about it is that it's made us all equal, in many ways."
Is she on something? Or just so desperate for attention that she pulls these diary entries out of her ass with no care involved? This is hilariously tone deaf.

You know, I was thinking something was off with them, but couldn't put my finger on what that could be. Madonna's shoulders look big but they also look soft and squishy instead of firm like muscle. And I doubt it would be due to her age, I workout with women her age and older, you can still tell they have muscle underneath their skin.

Maybe she's truly given up keeping her youth in legitimate ways and has gone to fillers all over her body like that living doll guy who wasted so much money instead of going to the fucking gym. Except I'm sure it's because she actually can't exercise that hard anymore. I kept staring at her shoulders too, whenever I was trying not to look at her face.

 

[GenderCop]

my wife was saying Shirley McLaine was 'manic pixie dream girl' of her day & yet aged very gracefully.
McLaine became great at playing vain old women who were once sexy in their youth (& still expected everybody to kiss their ass), but that takes a kind of comic self-awareness you can't expect from a pop-star like Madonna.

but if she could learn do that? might have a whole 2nd career, as McLaine did later in life.

btw who saw Jamie Lee Curtis in "knives out"?
totally looks her age (61). don't think she's done a single thing to herself.