Man claiming to have ‘world’s largest penis’ sick of being asked to whip it out - Ugly, Fat Shit Goblin Believes He’s Attractive and Oppressed

1637277999694.png



He’s sick of giving people a plus-size peep show.

A New York man who claims to possess the world’s largest penis — and who alleges he’s slept with multiple A-list celebrities — says he’s sick of showing people his jumbo Johnson.

Jonah Falcon, the phallically gifted fellow, dropped the bombshell while discussing how his life-changing appendage affected his life on ITV’s “This Morning,” the Sun reported.

“For some reason, having 13-plus inches means I’m a bad person, or I’m egotistic, or I’m a porn star, or I’m dumb, or I’m a slut,” the 51-year-old said of flaunting his massive phallus, which measures a world record 13.5 inches when erect — the size of an Academy Award trophy.

In fact, the Brooklyn-born actor said “I’m sick and tired of having people wanting me to measure it in front of them. I’ve done it 10,000 times — enough already!”


Nonetheless, Falcon humored presenters by showing them a photo of his titanic tallywacker so they wouldn’t “have to do all that imagining.”

Schofield responded by exclaiming, “Hellfire. Congratulations.”

Falcon has been enjoying fame and sex-cess since he was named the owner of the world’s largest penis in a 1999 documentary, the Huffington Post reported. Unfortunately, the record isn’t official as Guinness doesn’t verify such phallic feats.

A native of Hollywood, California, the openly bisexual man previously told the Sun that he’s bedded porn stars, actors and even Oscar winners — although he’s never specified who.

“It wasn’t Meryl Streep — I’ll just leave it at that,” quipped Falcon.
“It’s a real compliment when porn actors and actresses say I’m bigger than all of the partners they’ve had,” boasted the proud fella, who says his dong is “thicker than my wrist.”

He added, “They view me as the biggest and you have to remember they’ve seen a lot — so they know.”

Despite being enviably endowed, Falcon says his supersize schlong has negatively impacted his acting career.

“It’s handicapped my acting because people won’t hire me,” lamented the thespian. “They Google ‘Jonah Falcon’ and then say, ‘We can’t use him he’s known for his penis size.'”

He continued, “It’s definitely harmed my career — I have two casting director friends who have told me so.”


Link


I don't know about anyone else, but I prefer dicks that are attached to attractive men. Who did he bang? Tara Reid?


He looks autistic

1637278185094.png

1637278290233.png
 
Oh man, I remember this guy, he was an exhibit on Portal of Evil back in the day. He had some weird correspondence with Eric Peterson/Repomancer/Smokedaddy (may he rest in peace!), but I can't recall the details of it. Chet DFE'd the entire site or I'd share it with everyone.
 
He used to be in shape and not bad looking. Not bad looking becomes hot when sporting a giant schlong.
(MyPornSnap.top)_85364-01.jpg
Thing is, this fucker has made a career out of having a big dick. I have no sympathy that people bug him to whip it out. That's what you get for exploitation and attention whoring.
That's so uncanny valley.
 
There's faggots who could take this with practice, but there's a lot more space for it to go and on average they're going to have a lot more experience of big things in orfices than ye average grill probably is.

I don't think I'd believe it until I saw it.

Fellow faggot. I'll never understand the goatse level fags. No way in hell is a dick that big getting anywhere near me lmao.

Sexuality aside, that has got to be just a giant inconvenience in general. Are penis reductions a la Cyril Figgis a real thing?

Like a relative of mine needed a breast reduction cause her bazongas ruined her back, sounds like this guy should quit humble bragging and just give it a trim lol.
 
I know a guy who has at least 12 inches. It’s one thing to hear about it or see it in a photo, but to see something like that up close? There’s no way something like that is going to fit in most women comfortably enough.

Not to mention in my friend’s case it came along with a ton or hormonal issues that ultimately ended up fucking up his life. That’s not even getting into the logistical problems with shorts or going swimming. What it is, is a curse.
 
I mean. I admit, being a faggot I am no expert on female anatomy but like...Is this even possible for a woman to take without lots of previous uh..."Expansion"?
Probably yes but there needs to be several factors that align correctly.

Once upon a time, Mercedes Carrera did some sex ed lesson on a podcast, and she actually mentioned a lot of interesting things.

First, porn sex is different from regular sex. Not just in the obvious sense that it is unrealistic, but specifically in how it is not a bonding experience. In regular sex, you're trying to get close to your partner. In porn sex, you're trying to look like you're close to your partner while actually trying to push them away to make room for the cameraman to get a good angle. This is part of why porn selects for big dicks in men - not only does it look good on camera, it also gives you more wiggle room to push apart before it just pops out.

Second, although people talk about penis size in men, they don't generally talk about vagina size in women. Maybe they'll sometimes discuss being used and loose, but there's no concept of measuring the original starting capacity. So among female porn stars, there is no driving force to select larger vaginas to complement the larger cocks. Some porn actresses will actually be bisexual irl but exclusively lesbian on screen because their base vagina size is too small so fucking the male porn stars hurts.

Third, even if your vagina is not large enough for a male porn star, if you have a big booty (or had butt work done) then that little bit of cushioning can give you some leeway before you feel the burn.

So in order for a gargantuanly large cock to fuck someone who isn't a total whore, you should attempt to:
  1. Have unrealistic porn sex that is not very efficient at maximizing inserted phallic length
  2. Select a woman with a naturally larger vagina. Maybe a black woman? With the stereotypes about black men, and the assumption that black vaginas evolved alongside black penises, black vaginas are probably your best bet.
  3. Select a woman who has a fake ass. If Tommy Sotomayor can be trusted, this would again be a black woman.
  4. Select a land whale for extra extra padding.
Align all those factors just right and maybe the sex will work out.
 
Back