Man claiming to have ‘world’s largest penis’ sick of being asked to whip it out - Ugly, Fat Shit Goblin Believes He’s Attractive and Oppressed

1637277999694.png



He’s sick of giving people a plus-size peep show.

A New York man who claims to possess the world’s largest penis — and who alleges he’s slept with multiple A-list celebrities — says he’s sick of showing people his jumbo Johnson.

Jonah Falcon, the phallically gifted fellow, dropped the bombshell while discussing how his life-changing appendage affected his life on ITV’s “This Morning,” the Sun reported.

“For some reason, having 13-plus inches means I’m a bad person, or I’m egotistic, or I’m a porn star, or I’m dumb, or I’m a slut,” the 51-year-old said of flaunting his massive phallus, which measures a world record 13.5 inches when erect — the size of an Academy Award trophy.

In fact, the Brooklyn-born actor said “I’m sick and tired of having people wanting me to measure it in front of them. I’ve done it 10,000 times — enough already!”


Nonetheless, Falcon humored presenters by showing them a photo of his titanic tallywacker so they wouldn’t “have to do all that imagining.”

Schofield responded by exclaiming, “Hellfire. Congratulations.”

Falcon has been enjoying fame and sex-cess since he was named the owner of the world’s largest penis in a 1999 documentary, the Huffington Post reported. Unfortunately, the record isn’t official as Guinness doesn’t verify such phallic feats.

A native of Hollywood, California, the openly bisexual man previously told the Sun that he’s bedded porn stars, actors and even Oscar winners — although he’s never specified who.

“It wasn’t Meryl Streep — I’ll just leave it at that,” quipped Falcon.
“It’s a real compliment when porn actors and actresses say I’m bigger than all of the partners they’ve had,” boasted the proud fella, who says his dong is “thicker than my wrist.”

He added, “They view me as the biggest and you have to remember they’ve seen a lot — so they know.”

Despite being enviably endowed, Falcon says his supersize schlong has negatively impacted his acting career.

“It’s handicapped my acting because people won’t hire me,” lamented the thespian. “They Google ‘Jonah Falcon’ and then say, ‘We can’t use him he’s known for his penis size.'”

He continued, “It’s definitely harmed my career — I have two casting director friends who have told me so.”


Link


I don't know about anyone else, but I prefer dicks that are attached to attractive men. Who did he bang? Tara Reid?


He looks autistic

1637278185094.png

1637278290233.png
 
Falcon has been enjoying fame and sex-cess since he was named the owner of the world’s largest penis in a 1999 documentary, the Huffington Post reported. Unfortunately, the record isn’t official as Guinness doesn’t verify such phallic feats.
It's not that hard to figure out. They have machines that can give accurate measurements of people's entire bodies. Just create a rule of from tip to where it meets the balls (or whatever), then measure for length, diameter, volume, whatever. If this guy wants attention, he should hound the Guinness Foundation to find a way to get it on record.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Elim Garak
Everyone knows you measure your dick by putting the 6 inch mark at the end of the tip and then go back as far as you need to
 
I'll echo what others have said by saying having a dick this big (or even a fair bit smaller) would be horrible, especially for a straight man.

It would probably be barely functional dou to amount of blood needed to keep it semi erect, so even if a woman would or could take a significant amount of it you'd probably have to work like hell to get it in for proper fucking.

I'd also imagine the pleasure from orgasms would be diminished as well. A huge part of it for me is the sensation that comes from ejaculation, the more the better. A lot of cum would probably not get past a shaft that big.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Elim Garak
I can't speak on behalf of all women, but I'm 99.99% sure that the only ones who would even want to take 13 inches inside them are either stupid, masochistic, or reading way too much smut which describes men as "stallions" or whatever. Anything touching your cervix is not fun, never mind repeatedly pounding it. It's probably feasible with anal though.
I mean thats why the term Size Queen exists, right?
 
I used to make fun of this guy almost 20 years ago on Portal of Evil. I remember that there was some very weird woman who used to go to every website or forum where Jonah was mentioned, asking for info on Jonah and Milton Berle and any other really big dick-havers. She was obviously not a native English speaker, her messages were always stilted and strange. Like they'd been run through google translate from Martian or Esperanto. She did this for years.
 
Back