Mar-27-2023 - Chris is out of custody

[themarchivist2]

There's no way at the moment to confirm much. We don't even know who deleted Chris's FB account yesterday and we don't have a way to find out if Chris gets a new phone number and ignores the internet (which is what he should do).

Chris's Facebook account has been down since at least February 12, probably longer; this isn't a new development, just to clear things up.

 

[Fapcop]

Sidenote, what kind of grave do you reckon Chris will get? An unmarked grave in the middle of nowhere? Funeral only attended by the most desperate internet observers? Hell of a way to go.

Chris will be placed in the middle of 14 Branchland Ct, with an honor guard made up of @Null @Marvin, Clyde Cash and all his other former foes, while Kiwis and weens silently shuffle by to pay their last respects.

Like the Vikings of old, his body will be laid out on top of the hoard, (along with a drugged Fiona and Bella to keep him and the duck happy in the afterlife) and set on fire. The cover of Sonichu #0 used as kindling.

Thus we will stand silently and watch as the long night passes. A few Kiwis crying out in mourning for their OPL.
Watching the flames lick ever higher, consuming the mortal coil of Chris, the first and greatest lolcow, as we witness his spirit pass into the afterlife: That temple of autism in the great beyond.

His ashes? I have no doubt that some enterprising Kiwi will use them to forge Sonichu Medallion to shill on eBay.

 

[repentance]

View attachment 4915640
Chris's Facebook account has been down since at least February 12, probably longer; this isn't a new development, just to clear things up.

Thank you for the clarification.

 

[Fapcop]

Bob's ashes are in a columbarium niche with his and Barb's names on it. She is expected to be cremated and her ashes placed in there with his.

Speaking of… Someone should call the funeral home and have them bury Barb separately.

I don’t know if there’s some “Do NOT” clause in case of “cucking your dead husband with his own son”-clause in that contract, but there should be.

I know, I’d sure appreciate it if someone prevented me from getting buried with the woman who humiliated me post Mortem like that.

I AM KIDDING DO NOT CALL ANYONE!!

 

[FinnSven]

Chris will be placed in the middle of 14 Branchland Ct, with an honor guard made up of @Null @Marvin, Clyde Cash and all his other former foes, while Kiwis and weens silently shuffle by to pay their last respects.

Like the Vikings of old, his body will be laid out on top of the hoard, (along with a drugged Fiona and Bella to keep him and the duck happy in the afterlife) and set on fire. The cover of Sonichu #0 used as kindling.

Thus we will stand silently and watch as the long night passes. A few Kiwis crying out in mourning for their OPL.
Watching the flames lick ever higher, consuming the mortal coil of Chris, the first and greatest lolcow, as we witness his spirit pass into the afterlife: That temple of autism in the great beyond.

His ashes? I have no doubt that some enterprising Kiwi will use them to forge Sonichu Medallion to shill on eBay.

I was going to suggest that he will just be dumped in a skip and poured into landfill.

Maybe stuffed in a biohazard bag and incinerated with hospital waste.

But your suggestion is better!

 

[AN/ALR56]

Chris will be placed in the middle of 14 Branchland Ct, with an honor guard made up of @Null @Marvin, Clyde Cash and all his other former foes, while Kiwis and weens silently shuffle by to pay their last respects.

Like the Vikings of old, his body will be laid out on top of the hoard, (along with a drugged Fiona and Bella to keep him and the duck happy in the afterlife) and set on fire. The cover of Sonichu #0 used as kindling.

Thus we will stand silently and watch as the long night passes. A few Kiwis crying out in mourning for their OPL.
Watching the flames lick ever higher, consuming the mortal coil of Chris, the first and greatest lolcow, as we witness his spirit pass into the afterlife: That temple of autism in the great beyond.

His ashes? I have no doubt that some enterprising Kiwi will use them to forge Sonichu Medallion to shill on eBay.

Use his ashes as fertilizer for potatoes, like Metokur's ones.
@Null already said on MATI, he'd eat Metokur's potatoes.
Maybe do a taste comparison?

 

[Scooter Kid]

I can't wait for Chris to be homeless so I can lick his gock for internet fame

 

[Elämällä on väliä]

I know, I’d sure appreciate it if someone prevented me from getting buried with the woman who humiliated me post Mortem like that.

Bob probably don't give a fuck about it right now. He is busy with being dead.

 

[King Kiwi]

I usually fly in here and make some dryass remark, but I think you clowns beat me out.

 

[Catloaf]

Bob probably don't give a fuck about it right now. He is busy with being dead rolling in his grave.

FIFY

 

[soapy124]

Use his ashes as fertilizer for potatoes, like Metokur's ones.
@Null already said on MATI, he'd eat Metokur's potatoes.
Maybe do a taste comparison?

grown with love!

 

[Joe Cool]

FIFY

We can stop pouring money into fusion with Bob's dead corpse spinning that fast.

 

[themarchivist2]

From Instagram user ejsoko, 13 hours ago:


Before passing judgment, I've done some research:
1. Chris is wearing the exact same outfit here that he was on the day of the arrest.

2. Chris is noticeably thinner here than he was on the day of the arrest.

3. Chris's face is noticeably chubby in the recent mugshot despite his weight loss, looking at a composite upscale.

4. The image returns no results on Google Images, Bing, Yandex, TinEye, or PimEyes.

Does anyone here have a past source for this image they know of? If not, then either it's very coincidental and from years before 2021, or it's real.

 

[Catloaf]

From Instagram user ejsoko, 13 hours ago:
View attachment 4916065

Before passing judgment, I've done some research:
1. Chris is wearing the exact same outfit here that he was on the day of the arrest.
View attachment 4916045
2. Chris is noticeably thinner here than he was on the day of the arrest.
View attachment 4916053
3. Chris's face is noticeably chubby in the recent mugshot despite his weight loss, looking at a composite upscale.
View attachment 4916061
4. The image returns no results on Google Images, Bing, Yandex, TinEye, or PimEyes.

Does anyone here have a past source for this image they know of? If not, then either it's very coincidental and from years before 2021, or it's real.

Huge X on that. He looks pretty unchanged in that instagram picture as well as the belly fat. If we assume that he lost weight, that shirt would look baggy as fuck.

 

[Susanna]

If Chris has been in jail for longer than he will be sentenced to, does that mean he’s entitled to damages from the government?
I bet he could buy a lot of LEGOs with that.

 

[Rupin]

From Instagram user ejsoko, 13 hours ago:
View attachment 4916065

Before passing judgment, I've done some research:
1. Chris is wearing the exact same outfit here that he was on the day of the arrest.
View attachment 4916045
2. Chris is noticeably thinner here than he was on the day of the arrest.
View attachment 4916053
3. Chris's face is noticeably chubby in the recent mugshot despite his weight loss, looking at a composite upscale.
View attachment 4916061
4. The image returns no results on Google Images, Bing, Yandex, TinEye, or PimEyes.

Does anyone here have a past source for this image they know of? If not, then either it's very coincidental and from years before 2021, or it's real.

im calling bullshit on that Instagram image. He is still a fatass in that picture and the weight of being incarcerated for almost 2 years isnt in his eyes.

plus, he looks like a cancer patient in that last jail photo.

 

[Lindy64]

From Instagram user ejsoko, 13 hours ago:
View attachment 4916065

Before passing judgment, I've done some research:
1. Chris is wearing the exact same outfit here that he was on the day of the arrest.
View attachment 4916045
2. Chris is noticeably thinner here than he was on the day of the arrest.
View attachment 4916053
3. Chris's face is noticeably chubby in the recent mugshot despite his weight loss, looking at a composite upscale.
View attachment 4916061
4. The image returns no results on Google Images, Bing, Yandex, TinEye, or PimEyes.

Does anyone here have a past source for this image they know of? If not, then either it's very coincidental and from years before 2021, or it's real.

My guess is somehow this person got a pic with him and is now posting it 2 years later for clout

 

[Nick Gars]

From Instagram user ejsoko, 13 hours ago:

X. I'm with @Lindy64, this fucking faggot wigger probably managed to get that picture on the day of the arrest and held onto it up until now. These are Chris Chan weens we're talking about, it's not out of the realm of possibility.

 

[repentance]

From Instagram user ejsoko, 13 hours ago:
View attachment 4916065

That account has 4 posts and none of them are of Chris. Last post to the account was made 7 March.

If Chris has been in jail for longer than he will be sentenced to, does that mean he’s entitled to damages from the government?

The minimum sentence he will be given is time served.

 

[Israel's Top Guy]

If Chris has been in jail for longer than he will be sentenced to, does that mean he’s entitled to damages from the government?

Since he waived his right to a speedy trial, I don't believe he's entitled to anything, especially if the max sentence is longer than the amount of time he served.