March 22 email release

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Interesting e-mails, they don't really shine light on anything new (besides confirming that Chris was bullied by JERKS and "RAWR MEGAN!!!") but it's interesting to see that the writer of the first ones seems to be a male. A male that protected Chris from bullies, yet Chris only remembers the gal pals.

All of these e-mails happened before the Great Fire of 2014, but it's interesting to see him speak about monetary compensation in exchange for "forgiveness". I don't know if he considers the check that came in "big box" that peeps in the forum put together to be monetary compensation, but he sorta got his wish.
 
Wait.. wait.. what in the hell? So basically OPL was asking for money? What forgiveness is he even talking about? Oh sweet lord, what have I been missing?
 
Lefty's Revenge said:
I think its because hes retarded.
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The Tom Sawyer thing is old. Fatty used that in the Regina E-Mails when he tried to prove how funny and well-spoken he is:

Another little something else about me, I can be funny; sometimes I'll think of something silly, witty or random that makes me and my family smile and/or laugh about. Like for example, I used to go on about people with Hippopotami on their heads. Or this man from Nantucket who had on his head a bucket. Even a Lawer named Tom Sawer who had a daughter named Sue.
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He had to explain this to poor "Regina" in his next missive:

From the jokes I told you, most were word-play jokes; the hippo joke was just silly. No, the lawer did not own the cow; those two scenarios were seperate. "Lawyer" and "Sawyer" rhyme, and what does a lawyer do? "Sue" someone.
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And, of course:
I'll stop for now, and I understand if you're feeling confused from the wordplay. But I can be quite creative and clever.
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Chris is essentially saying he would accept his internet infamy in exchange for money. He's so ridiculously close to the concept of monetizing his e-fame, and yet he'll never make that connection. Tragic and hilarious at the same time.
 
I bet it was his one friend mentioned in the Manchester High entry. Luckily for all concerned said "joy-boy" read the CWCiki and saw what a vile person Chris really is, without the influence of the trolls. And of course, Chris proved that himself by just being his usual assholeish self to somebody who actually wanted to help him a bit.

Chris is, was and always will be his own worst troll.

And who ever said it above is absolutely right, while man weens were assholes to Bob, many times the old fella actually was able to hold a decent conversation with somebody who wasn't a crazy hoarder or a screaming sperg. I bet he enjoyed those calls.
 
ChurchOfGodBear said:
Chris is essentially saying he would accept his internet infamy in exchange for money. He's so ridiculously close to the concept of monetizing his e-fame, and yet he'll never make that connection. Tragic and hilarious at the same time.
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You know, I think Chris totally realizes this- but the only thing stopping him is, of course, his own ego. He refuses to see that anything short of him being praised for his creativity is acceptable. And until that happens, he will wait and play vidya until someone comes along on hands and knees, offering to pay Chris for the glory of owning a real-life Sonichu masterwork.
 
Varis said:
It might help Chris to understand if Megan's feelings were compared to something he himself has felt, like when trolls drew gay pictures of him and/or Sonichu. Alas, he has moved past the point of caring and just wants a scapegoat.
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Even if someone had asked him to compare Megan's feelings to something that he has felt, he'll still insist that he's suffered more. Chris never cared about what others felt unless it meant he could get something out of it, in which case he'd make a clumsy attempt to manipulate things in his favor. Chris has always blamed others for his problems, him wanting a scapegoat is nothing new.
 
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Bernd Lauert said:
The Tom Sawyer thing is old. Fatty used that in the Regina E-Mails when he tried to prove how funny and well-spoken he is
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I suspect that he automatically explains all of his "jokes" because 1)it comes out a garbled mess of autism that people can't figure out what his point was, and/or 2)he damn near always fails to understand a joke and needs to have it explained to him. When I was in college one of my classmates in a digital arts class was a sperg or flat-out autistic. He never said it, but it was really obvious he wasn't all there. He'd always repeat his favorite jokes from DBZ Abridged and laugh about them, then suddenly stop laughing and ask me what the joke means with wide, confused eyes. Considering that he seemed unable to grasp a good 90% of the jokes I never understood how he could find them hilarious in the first place, let alone how he could watch it aside from the whole "diehard DBZ fan" thing.
 
Years ago, there was a movie about Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn meeting again as adults. Sawyer was, in fact, a lawyer, something that actually fit his character quite nicely. That was the first thing I thought about when I read Chris's "joke".

Of course, it was giving Chris way too much credit to think he took his babblings from a movie based on a classic American novel. I really should have lowered my expectations to "Walter Grisby threw a frisbee".

I wonder how Chris would respond to his name being turned into "Chris Chandler, penis handler"?
 
"...made everyone hate me for no good reason!"

*bursts into laughter*

Ah, Chris, you magnificently ignorant, arrogant fuck. Never change.
 
Giovanni said:
"...made everyone hate me for no good reason!"
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Chris will never understand that people will form opinions about him based on his own actions and NOT based on how he sees himself. You could sit down and explain this to him as patiently, respectfully, nicely and simply as you possibly could and he would just refuse to listen and call you a troll.
 
butt in trouble said:
Chris will never understand that people will form opinions about him based on his own actions and NOT based on how he sees himself. You could sit down and explain this to him as patiently, respectfully, nicely and simply as you possibly could and he would just refuse to listen and call you a troll.
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This is so completely right. I'm trying to find that picture on the Wiki of what Chris sees when he looks in the mirror, but failing.
 
soIregistered said:
This is so completely right. I'm trying to find that picture on the Wiki of what Chris sees when he looks in the mirror, but failing.
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How_chris_sees_himself.jpg
 
ChurchOfGodBear said:
Chris is essentially saying he would accept his internet infamy in exchange for money. He's so ridiculously close to the concept of monetizing his e-fame, and yet he'll never make that connection. Tragic and hilarious at the same time.
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I feel like that ship has sailed. In 2014, if Chris were to throw a convention or something, the only people who would come would be members of the cwcki, the forums, and some weens, and Marvin would be in the bushes somewhere recording it all.
 
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