May 1 2023 - Chris sighting at Walmart

[King Kiwi]

You’ve got people who are 70 something hours deep into a documentary series that for the last five months has been little more than coverage of tweets about parallel cartoon worlds. Then you’ve got the weens who are still holding out to carve their way into Christory. Then theres people who are on some level hoping for a return to the ‘golden years’ when Chris’s retardation was still funny. People who want to be there the moment he spergs out or gets banned from the game store for hugging employees or something.

We have truly gazed into the lolcow abyss and now it gazes back at us.

So if we hire someone to stake out McDonald's in Richmond and Midlothian, do you think it should be on a voluntary basis or make it like a part-time job type of thing?

OH! Someone could volunteer to go undercover and work there!

Yeah, really. Even photographs of running into Chris accidentally are going to get old.

 

[No Batty Boys in Jamaica]

You don't need an explanation to hate Reddit.

One of the founders, Alexis Ohanian is worse than a Jew. He is, may Allah forgive me for uttering this word, an Armenian.

He’s also a notorious oil driller.

 

[Boglim Enthusiast]

So if we hire someone to stake out McDonald's in Richmond and Midlothian, do you think it should be on a voluntary basis or make it like a part-time job type of thing?

OH! Someone could volunteer to go undercover and work there!

Yeah, really. Even photographs of running into Chris accidentally are going to get old.

Lmfao they're gonna Truman show our boy

 

[Ken_Penders69]

I don't like the idea of chris getting his tugboat checks back, mainly because I don't like him having nice things. But I'm almost certain he'll blow it and lose out on his ssi somehow. Maybe he'll try and "soul bond" with some disabled girl in the group home.

 

[TheGuntinator]

True, but those are all places "normal Chris" got banned or arrested at for his own poor behavior. Multiple times. What would be really interesting, is if he could go to these places without making a scene or without putting effort into himself getting banned.

He just shows up medicated and dressed normally and nobody recognizes him because the poster under the desk describes a middle aged witch with seaweed hair, a thousand yard stare and a medallion. Only after the employee sees the name on the card and Chris has paid does he realize this guy has been banned.

 

[Dambusters' Dog II]

Chris really going for that denim on denim

...Is he wearing a denim skirt over jeans? Truly a fashion trailblazer!

Since a denim jacket with jeans is a Canadian tuxedo, I name this outfit the "Canadian tutu".

Chris did the act, Bella certainly didn't help. I'm saying there's some shared culpability there.

Psycho fungus girl wanted Chris to fuck the autistic girl Fiona. She only found out that Chris fucked his own mother, she didn't instigate it.

 

[Alcalino9000]

ok, ok, ok. Can close this thread? It's irrelevant and Chris's return is imminent.

 

[Lindy64]

She can't keep getting away with it!

I don't get it? Is this woman famous or something like Sam Hyde?

 

[WelperHelper99]

Psycho fungus girl wanted Chris to fuck the autistic girl Fiona. She only found out that Chris fucked his own mother, she didn't instigate it.

If she hadn't been involved at all, chances of Chris fucking Barb would have dropped significantly. She didn't push him off the cliff, but she did lead him to it.

 

[Jeff Gazetti]

Chris seems rather fragile.

I vote to leave him alone. We see he's alive and looks relatively taken care of, if you know what I mean.

Mofo looks 20 years older.

Yes, all that stress of being in lockup would add 20 years. Not to mention the lack of G.Milf tail.

 

[WonderWino]

View attachment 5106316View attachment 5106320

Shit, I knew bethesda was adding some new cryptids to fallout 76 but I didn't expect one of them to be the chansquatch. They weren't kidding when they said the next update had some surprises

That old vault overseer lady better watch out

 

[King Kiwi]

ok, ok, ok. Can close this thread? It's irrelevant and Chris's return is imminent.

Just for that we're never going to close it. B)

 

[Bassomatic]

A lot of people come out of jail into nothing. Chris has a comfy tard home and bought a tv bigger than mine.... someone who owns a home

A lot has already been said so I won't repeat it but he's definitely not going to be able to go out much. Too many weens will want to be the one who gets him to cry or back in cuffs.

 

[Siphon Cypher]

Fuck The Odyssee. We have a real time Epic going on and the new Arc is here. Chris is looking good, (fat) so at least hes eating. Sincerely hope hes doing good, away from glue eating retards who wish to do him harm.

 

[GypsyBard]

I don't like the idea of chris getting his tugboat checks back, mainly because I don't like him having nice things. But I'm almost certain he'll blow it and lose out on his ssi somehow. Maybe he'll try and "soul bond" with some disabled girl in the group home.

If Chris is living in a group home they will be taking a large amount of it
Which sounds bad until you realize that amount covers his rent his food and all the outings along with paying the staff
Then the rest is his to spend as he sees fit
In other words it's forcing him to budget like a normal person would
You know like you get your paycheck and you go this much is going to rent as much as going to food as much as going to pay the bills then this much is for fun.
For Chris all the money used for rent paying the staff and utilities and such are taken out automatically so it's physically forcing him to pay his due like a normal person.

 

[Narrowback]

The trip was not a test
I have a buddy who worked at a group home
They have scheduled outings throughout the month.
Yesterday was May 1st
The day the tugboat drops
So the scheduled outing for that day was a few stores
Next month on June 1st Chris will be back to that exact same Walmart around the same time

So we're going to have weens waiting to ambush the tard caravan in the Walmart parking lot June 1st?

I feel bad for the mental shack, then. They should really stagger outings for high profile cases like Chris, when they know there's people who fuck with him.

 

[Niggerphobe]

So we're going to have weens waiting to ambush the tard caravan in the Walmart parking lot June 1st?

I feel bad for the mental shack, then. They should really stagger outings for high profile cases like Chris, when they know there's people who fuck with him.

High speed autism tard chase

 

[King Metalia]

I’m newfag plz explain why we hate the Reddit sub? I joined it when I was just lurking here and nobody plans to troll or pozload my negholep there. They just clown about Chris like we do here. Some dumbfucks are there sure but no more than anywhere else

You don't need an explanation to hate Reddit.

Are The Chris Chan SubReddit and the Kiwi Farms really so different? We both willingly follow a retard who diddled his mother.

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

Are The Chris Chan SubReddit and the Kiwi Farms really so different? We both willingly follow a retard who diddled his mother.

There's a lot more Chris casuals on there that believe the hype and lore around him. Like how Bob was in the klan and taught Chris to hate anyone who wasn't straight or white. Just dumb shit like that you have to wade through.

 

[Pee Cola]

Psycho fungus girl wanted Chris to fuck the autistic girl Fiona. She only found out that Chris fucked his own mother, she didn't instigate it.

But she did egg Chris on when her original plan to hook Chris up with that autistic chick went sideways...

So we're going to have weens waiting to ambush the tard caravan in the Walmart parking lot June 1st?

I feel bad for the mental shack, then. They should really stagger outings for high profile cases like Chris, when they know there's people who fuck with him.

If possible, visiting a different Walmart every time would also help mitigate the risk of Chris being weened. Of course this'll only work for so long before weens start staking out every single Walmart within a 50 mile radius of Chris' group home, but it'd buy Chris and his wranglers some time.