Prison Letters May 11, 2022 - Chris writes letter trying to shift blame to Barb

[ANobody]

Hi all. I'm a first-time poster, but I've been lurking for almost 2 years now. Please, forgive me for not being totally caught up on the Chris drama... And Christory in general. I was late to the party and only discovered Chris around the same time I discovered this site, almost 2 years ago, as I said.
I apologize in advance, I don't know how to spoiler anything and I don't want to de-rail the thread. I am prepared for autistic ratings.
Anyway, reason I finally made an account here (and am posting) is pretty retarded...

Long story short, I wrote a letter to Chris. I was undecided on whether to actually mail it or not. I've been watching Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History. Obviously, I'm aware of the events of the past year... But I've had a hard time reconciling that sick shit with the Chris of old.
I've had to take breaks. So for context, I wrote a letter to the old Chris who still seemed redeemable. It was almost like a creative exercise. Anyway, I had this letter all written up and in an envelope with stamp, addressed to Chris, just sitting on my desk. Not really planning to actually send it but I felt compelled to write a letter to the old Chris. So, I was away from home for about a week.
And when I came back, the letter was gone. I live with an older family member who would have no idea who Chris Chan is. I'm pretty sure she just saw a letter on my desk with an address and stamp, and just put it in the mailbox.
I didn't include a return address but now I'm not sure what to do. I wasn't actually planning on sending this shit. It was more like mourning for the past Chris that may have been saved. But it was a hand written letter. Anyway again, I'm fully prepared for my autistic ratings for this dumb shit. But at the same time I just feel weird about this. If that letter reached Chris, what should I do? Should I just ignore it and pretend it was never sent? It was more like a letter to the past. I wasn't really meaning to send it.

I would never normally reach out to a cow.

"No honey you dont understand, i found this nude woman choking to death on a beignet on our bed and when i went to help her i tripped and stuck my dick in her"

Fr tho, that's the kind of retarded excuse Chris would make. You sent a letter to a sped and now you regret it. You should.

If you've been lurking for two years you should know not to feed the autistic. Lurk moar fag.

 

[Ophelia]

I'm pretty sure she just saw a letter on my desk with an address and stamp, and just put it in the mailbox.

People who have been here for two years know this kind of thing belongs in the Random thread.

You put a fucking stamp on this why? Addressing it is stupid enough, but a stamp?

Inb4 “lul i was just pretending to be retarded!”

His perversion can make it in the realm of probability that he wore a binder when Barbara's bras didn't fit his moobs.

Not that kind of binder. He has the kind you clip paper with hooked to his belt.

 

[Cybertonia]

I would never normally reach out to a cow.

And yet you still did it anyway

 

[BobJones997]

Hi all. I'm a first-time poster, but I've been lurking for almost 2 years now. Please, forgive me for not being totally caught up on the Chris drama... And Christory in general. I was late to the party and only discovered Chris around the same time I discovered this site, almost 2 years ago, as I said.
I apologize in advance, I don't know how to spoiler anything and I don't want to de-rail the thread. I am prepared for autistic ratings.
Anyway, reason I finally made an account here (and am posting) is pretty retarded...

Long story short, I wrote a letter to Chris. I was undecided on whether to actually mail it or not. I've been watching Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History. Obviously, I'm aware of the events of the past year... But I've had a hard time reconciling that sick shit with the Chris of old.
I've had to take breaks. So for context, I wrote a letter to the old Chris who still seemed redeemable. It was almost like a creative exercise. Anyway, I had this letter all written up and in an envelope with stamp, addressed to Chris, just sitting on my desk. Not really planning to actually send it but I felt compelled to write a letter to the old Chris. So, I was away from home for about a week.
And when I came back, the letter was gone. I live with an older family member who would have no idea who Chris Chan is. I'm pretty sure she just saw a letter on my desk with an address and stamp, and just put it in the mailbox.
I didn't include a return address but now I'm not sure what to do. I wasn't actually planning on sending this shit. It was more like mourning for the past Chris that may have been saved. But it was a hand written letter. Anyway again, I'm fully prepared for my autistic ratings for this dumb shit. But at the same time I just feel weird about this. If that letter reached Chris, what should I do? Should I just ignore it and pretend it was never sent? It was more like a letter to the past. I wasn't really meaning to send it.

I would never normally reach out to a cow.

Didn't you read the front page of the cwcki? If you had, you'd realize just how retarded of an idea that was.

"We highly advise against contacting Chris in any way, even now that he's back in jail. You aren't contributing to Christory, and if his returning mugshot is anything to go by he is not in the mood to send you the epic rants about the Merge you're imagining."

Way to pozload my negholep, newfag.

 

[Cr1tiko]

Hi all. I'm a first-time poster, but I've been lurking for almost 2 years now. Please, forgive me for not being totally caught up on the Chris drama... And Christory in general. I was late to the party and only discovered Chris around the same time I discovered this site, almost 2 years ago, as I said.
I apologize in advance, I don't know how to spoiler anything and I don't want to de-rail the thread. I am prepared for autistic ratings.
Anyway, reason I finally made an account here (and am posting) is pretty retarded...

Long story short, I wrote a letter to Chris. I was undecided on whether to actually mail it or not. I've been watching Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History. Obviously, I'm aware of the events of the past year... But I've had a hard time reconciling that sick shit with the Chris of old.
I've had to take breaks. So for context, I wrote a letter to the old Chris who still seemed redeemable. It was almost like a creative exercise. Anyway, I had this letter all written up and in an envelope with stamp, addressed to Chris, just sitting on my desk. Not really planning to actually send it but I felt compelled to write a letter to the old Chris. So, I was away from home for about a week.
And when I came back, the letter was gone. I live with an older family member who would have no idea who Chris Chan is. I'm pretty sure she just saw a letter on my desk with an address and stamp, and just put it in the mailbox.
I didn't include a return address but now I'm not sure what to do. I wasn't actually planning on sending this shit. It was more like mourning for the past Chris that may have been saved. But it was a hand written letter. Anyway again, I'm fully prepared for my autistic ratings for this dumb shit. But at the same time I just feel weird about this. If that letter reached Chris, what should I do? Should I just ignore it and pretend it was never sent? It was more like a letter to the past. I wasn't really meaning to send it.

I would never normally reach out to a cow.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA what? What are you talking about? Hahahahahaha Jesus man

 

[Buster Scruggs]

Hi all. I'm a first-time poster, but I've been lurking for almost 2 years now. Please, forgive me for not being totally caught up on the Chris drama... And Christory in general. I was late to the party and only discovered Chris around the same time I discovered this site, almost 2 years ago, as I said.
I apologize in advance, I don't know how to spoiler anything and I don't want to de-rail the thread. I am prepared for autistic ratings.
Anyway, reason I finally made an account here (and am posting) is pretty retarded...

Long story short, I wrote a letter to Chris. I was undecided on whether to actually mail it or not. I've been watching Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History. Obviously, I'm aware of the events of the past year... But I've had a hard time reconciling that sick shit with the Chris of old.
I've had to take breaks. So for context, I wrote a letter to the old Chris who still seemed redeemable. It was almost like a creative exercise. Anyway, I had this letter all written up and in an envelope with stamp, addressed to Chris, just sitting on my desk. Not really planning to actually send it but I felt compelled to write a letter to the old Chris. So, I was away from home for about a week.
And when I came back, the letter was gone. I live with an older family member who would have no idea who Chris Chan is. I'm pretty sure she just saw a letter on my desk with an address and stamp, and just put it in the mailbox.
I didn't include a return address but now I'm not sure what to do. I wasn't actually planning on sending this shit. It was more like mourning for the past Chris that may have been saved. But it was a hand written letter. Anyway again, I'm fully prepared for my autistic ratings for this dumb shit. But at the same time I just feel weird about this. If that letter reached Chris, what should I do? Should I just ignore it and pretend it was never sent? It was more like a letter to the past. I wasn't really meaning to send it.

I would never normally reach out to a cow.

I'm having a hard time thinking about what you could've even wrote. "NUU ChRIS DONT BELIEVE tHE IDEA GUys and DoNT FuCK yOur MoM!!!"

Also, you said "old Chris", was the address to the prison or Branchland? If it was to "old Chris" that would make sense to put his old house, but if it's not for "the new Chris" why would you have put the prison's address unless you were wanting to send it eventually anyways? I just don't see this being the handy little accident you're making it out to be.

 

[Hassa_Bussa]

And yet you still did it anyway

ween: but these are extraordinary times

 

[PsychoNerd054]

Hi all. I'm a first-time poster, but I've been lurking for almost 2 years now. Please, forgive me for not being totally caught up on the Chris drama... And Christory in general. I was late to the party and only discovered Chris around the same time I discovered this site, almost 2 years ago, as I said.
I apologize in advance, I don't know how to spoiler anything and I don't want to de-rail the thread. I am prepared for autistic ratings.
Anyway, reason I finally made an account here (and am posting) is pretty retarded...

Long story short, I wrote a letter to Chris. I was undecided on whether to actually mail it or not. I've been watching Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History. Obviously, I'm aware of the events of the past year... But I've had a hard time reconciling that sick shit with the Chris of old.
I've had to take breaks. So for context, I wrote a letter to the old Chris who still seemed redeemable. It was almost like a creative exercise. Anyway, I had this letter all written up and in an envelope with stamp, addressed to Chris, just sitting on my desk. Not really planning to actually send it but I felt compelled to write a letter to the old Chris. So, I was away from home for about a week.
And when I came back, the letter was gone. I live with an older family member who would have no idea who Chris Chan is. I'm pretty sure she just saw a letter on my desk with an address and stamp, and just put it in the mailbox.
I didn't include a return address but now I'm not sure what to do. I wasn't actually planning on sending this shit. It was more like mourning for the past Chris that may have been saved. But it was a hand written letter. Anyway again, I'm fully prepared for my autistic ratings for this dumb shit. But at the same time I just feel weird about this. If that letter reached Chris, what should I do? Should I just ignore it and pretend it was never sent? It was more like a letter to the past. I wasn't really meaning to send it.

I would never normally reach out to a cow.

It seems to me you've posted this because you were concerned about getting doxed or something, and as others have said, it kind of comes off as "I took a cookie from the cookie jar, but it was because....", admitting to something stupid you did and didn't fully think through.

At the end of the day, YOU'VE chosen to do all of this, reaching out to Classic Chris while he's in jail by writing a letter, and sealing that letter with an address and stamp, so you've only got yourself to blame if that letter gets to Chris and he doxes you. At this point though, if you really need a suggestion on how to handle this, if Chris does dox you I'd definitely try avoiding bringing attention to it, that way you're not targeted as much, espescially since you just gave him something super cringy, nothing actively malicious. Someone tried converting Chris to Islam, and he got all that attention and doxing on him solely because he brought attention onto himself thereafter.

 

[MajorBlasski454]

Hi all. I'm a first-time poster, but I've been lurking for almost 2 years now. Please, forgive me for not being totally caught up on the Chris drama... And Christory in general. I was late to the party and only discovered Chris around the same time I discovered this site, almost 2 years ago, as I said.
I apologize in advance, I don't know how to spoiler anything and I don't want to de-rail the thread. I am prepared for autistic ratings.
Anyway, reason I finally made an account here (and am posting) is pretty retarded...

Long story short, I wrote a letter to Chris. I was undecided on whether to actually mail it or not. I've been watching Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History. Obviously, I'm aware of the events of the past year... But I've had a hard time reconciling that sick shit with the Chris of old.
I've had to take breaks. So for context, I wrote a letter to the old Chris who still seemed redeemable. It was almost like a creative exercise. Anyway, I had this letter all written up and in an envelope with stamp, addressed to Chris, just sitting on my desk. Not really planning to actually send it but I felt compelled to write a letter to the old Chris. So, I was away from home for about a week.
And when I came back, the letter was gone. I live with an older family member who would have no idea who Chris Chan is. I'm pretty sure she just saw a letter on my desk with an address and stamp, and just put it in the mailbox.
I didn't include a return address but now I'm not sure what to do. I wasn't actually planning on sending this shit. It was more like mourning for the past Chris that may have been saved. But it was a hand written letter. Anyway again, I'm fully prepared for my autistic ratings for this dumb shit. But at the same time I just feel weird about this. If that letter reached Chris, what should I do? Should I just ignore it and pretend it was never sent? It was more like a letter to the past. I wasn't really meaning to send it.

I would never normally reach out to a cow.

1) That has to be the most retarded excuse ever.
2) Chris literally cares only about letters regarding pony and goddess bullshit, and will probably not bother fully reading it. Nice job wasting your money for a stamp faggot

 

[DeeCeeBees]

People who have been here for two years know this kind of thing belongs in the Random thread.

You put a fucking stamp on this why? Addressing it is stupid enough, but a stamp?

Inb4 “lul i was just pretending to be retarded!”


Not that kind of binder. He has the kind you clip paper with hooked to his belt.

Perhaps it was for attaching his S-Chu balls or something.

 

[Philosophy Phil]

Hi all. I'm a first-time poster, but I've been lurking for almost 2 years now.

Long story short, I wrote a letter to Chris.

Welcome to Kiwifarms! Here is your complementary flogging for touching the cow!

 

[A-№1]

How the fuck did he manage to dress like the entire cast of Scooby Doo all at once?

That happens when people make their fashion choices at Goodwill.

Hi all. I'm a first-time poster, but I've been lurking for almost 2 years now.

I strongly recommend you make this your last-time post, lurk moar for a few more years, and then try again under a new account after people have forgotten you. And never, ever mention this ridiculous letter writing incident again.

 

[Cybertonia]

Boy the last whole page of this thread is like when you got that new kid in school who pooped his pants on the very first day

 

[Cedric_Eff]

Hi all. I'm a first-time poster, but I've been lurking for almost 2 years now. Please, forgive me for not being totally caught up on the Chris drama... And Christory in general. I was late to the party and only discovered Chris around the same time I discovered this site, almost 2 years ago, as I said.
I apologize in advance, I don't know how to spoiler anything and I don't want to de-rail the thread. I am prepared for autistic ratings.
Anyway, reason I finally made an account here (and am posting) is pretty retarded...

Long story short, I wrote a letter to Chris. I was undecided on whether to actually mail it or not. I've been watching Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History. Obviously, I'm aware of the events of the past year... But I've had a hard time reconciling that sick shit with the Chris of old.
I've had to take breaks. So for context, I wrote a letter to the old Chris who still seemed redeemable. It was almost like a creative exercise. Anyway, I had this letter all written up and in an envelope with stamp, addressed to Chris, just sitting on my desk. Not really planning to actually send it but I felt compelled to write a letter to the old Chris. So, I was away from home for about a week.
And when I came back, the letter was gone. I live with an older family member who would have no idea who Chris Chan is. I'm pretty sure she just saw a letter on my desk with an address and stamp, and just put it in the mailbox.
I didn't include a return address but now I'm not sure what to do. I wasn't actually planning on sending this shit. It was more like mourning for the past Chris that may have been saved. But it was a hand written letter. Anyway again, I'm fully prepared for my autistic ratings for this dumb shit. But at the same time I just feel weird about this. If that letter reached Chris, what should I do? Should I just ignore it and pretend it was never sent? It was more like a letter to the past. I wasn't really meaning to send it.

I would never normally reach out to a cow.

Do your caretakers know where you post? Do they know that you’re on the Kiwi Farms admitting to strangers, blabbing an entire wall of text?

If so, then just let it happen. It was your own fault.

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

Bob was nice to everyone who wasn't an obvious troll. Emily is a fine example. Flipping Chris off isn't a war crime and his son could've made it all up since he's known to lie. His daughter not showing up to his funeral with his granddaughter in tow doesn't necessarily mean she hated him, it could also mean that she didn't want to meet Barb and Chris and paid her respects a day or so later. Would you bring your daughter to meet Chris? I thought so. Or it could just be that she's similar to Cole and uses Republican as an insult too. But a much bigger bitch.

I autistically headcannoned that Carol was too busy or used her busy schedule as an excuse to not see/smell Chris and traumatize the niece too (who also has Autism, and you know how much Chris hates other autists).

 

[Ophelia]

I autistically headcannoned that Carol was too busy or used her busy schedule as an excuse to not see/smell Chris and traumatize the niece too (who also has Autism, and you know how much Chris hates other autists).

She has autism too? I thought she was the son’s kid?

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

She has autism too? I thought she was the son’s kid?

Yeah, I'll find the Cwiki stub. Savannah Chandler
You're right, the Son's daughter.

 

[Alex Krycek]

Hi all. I'm a first-time poster, but I've been lurking for almost 2 years now. Please, forgive me for not being totally caught up on the Chris drama... And Christory in general. I was late to the party and only discovered Chris around the same time I discovered this site, almost 2 years ago, as I said.
I apologize in advance, I don't know how to spoiler anything and I don't want to de-rail the thread. I am prepared for autistic ratings.
Anyway, reason I finally made an account here (and am posting) is pretty retarded...

Long story short, I wrote a letter to Chris. I was undecided on whether to actually mail it or not. I've been watching Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History. Obviously, I'm aware of the events of the past year... But I've had a hard time reconciling that sick shit with the Chris of old.
I've had to take breaks. So for context, I wrote a letter to the old Chris who still seemed redeemable. It was almost like a creative exercise. Anyway, I had this letter all written up and in an envelope with stamp, addressed to Chris, just sitting on my desk. Not really planning to actually send it but I felt compelled to write a letter to the old Chris. So, I was away from home for about a week.
And when I came back, the letter was gone. I live with an older family member who would have no idea who Chris Chan is. I'm pretty sure she just saw a letter on my desk with an address and stamp, and just put it in the mailbox.
I didn't include a return address but now I'm not sure what to do. I wasn't actually planning on sending this shit. It was more like mourning for the past Chris that may have been saved. But it was a hand written letter. Anyway again, I'm fully prepared for my autistic ratings for this dumb shit. But at the same time I just feel weird about this. If that letter reached Chris, what should I do? Should I just ignore it and pretend it was never sent? It was more like a letter to the past. I wasn't really meaning to send it.

I would never normally reach out to a cow.

“I wasn’t really meaning to send it”

Then why did you?

I’m very charitable towards newfags most of the time but holy shit. If you sent it and meant to I’d just be like “Okay so what did you say?” And if it was funny I’d probably even laugh at it. Anything that came from it that was negative though I would say “you were warned not to do this” but I wouldn’t care otherwise one way or the other. Content is content but you sent it and you had regret and you’re posting it here.

Dude I’m sorry I’m only able to give one dumb react. But if I could give you the opposite of a trophy I would.

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

Hi all. I'm a first-time poster, but I've been lurking for almost 2 years now. Please, forgive me for not being totally caught up on the Chris drama... And Christory in general. I was late to the party and only discovered Chris around the same time I discovered this site, almost 2 years ago, as I said.
I apologize in advance, I don't know how to spoiler anything and I don't want to de-rail the thread. I am prepared for autistic ratings.
Anyway, reason I finally made an account here (and am posting) is pretty retarded...

Long story short, I wrote a letter to Chris. I was undecided on whether to actually mail it or not. I've been watching Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History. Obviously, I'm aware of the events of the past year... But I've had a hard time reconciling that sick shit with the Chris of old.
I've had to take breaks. So for context, I wrote a letter to the old Chris who still seemed redeemable. It was almost like a creative exercise. Anyway, I had this letter all written up and in an envelope with stamp, addressed to Chris, just sitting on my desk. Not really planning to actually send it but I felt compelled to write a letter to the old Chris. So, I was away from home for about a week.
And when I came back, the letter was gone. I live with an older family member who would have no idea who Chris Chan is. I'm pretty sure she just saw a letter on my desk with an address and stamp, and just put it in the mailbox.
I didn't include a return address but now I'm not sure what to do. I wasn't actually planning on sending this shit. It was more like mourning for the past Chris that may have been saved. But it was a hand written letter. Anyway again, I'm fully prepared for my autistic ratings for this dumb shit. But at the same time I just feel weird about this. If that letter reached Chris, what should I do? Should I just ignore it and pretend it was never sent? It was more like a letter to the past. I wasn't really meaning to send it.

I would never normally reach out to a cow.

If it was in 2009-2010, Chris would've let his inbox fill up/delete it. THE CWCKI itself spells it out for you that he and Barb both intercept mail in their mailbox; FURTHERMORE THE HOUSE IS EMPTY RIGHT NOW ASSUMING BARB IS STILL THERE WITH HER SISTER, BROTHER-IN-LAW AND REMAINING CATS.

 

[Amerikaner Teddybär]

View attachment 3310039

This photo really makes me think of Bob. If he had beaten Chris and sent him to a home for tards, this photo wouldn't exist.

Bob's probably smacking himself in the afterlife for not having Chris sent to the special school when Chris was at Nathaniel Greene.