Prison Letters May 11, 2022 - Chris writes letter trying to shift blame to Barb

[HenryKissiger]

Hi all. I'm a first-time poster, but I've been lurking for almost 2 years now. Please, forgive me for not being totally caught up on the Chris drama... And Christory in general. I was late to the party and only discovered Chris around the same time I discovered this site, almost 2 years ago, as I said.
I apologize in advance, I don't know how to spoiler anything and I don't want to de-rail the thread. I am prepared for autistic ratings.
Anyway, reason I finally made an account here (and am posting) is pretty retarded...

Long story short, I wrote a letter to Chris. I was undecided on whether to actually mail it or not. I've been watching Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History. Obviously, I'm aware of the events of the past year... But I've had a hard time reconciling that sick shit with the Chris of old.
I've had to take breaks. So for context, I wrote a letter to the old Chris who still seemed redeemable. It was almost like a creative exercise. Anyway, I had this letter all written up and in an envelope with stamp, addressed to Chris, just sitting on my desk. Not really planning to actually send it but I felt compelled to write a letter to the old Chris. So, I was away from home for about a week.
And when I came back, the letter was gone. I live with an older family member who would have no idea who Chris Chan is. I'm pretty sure she just saw a letter on my desk with an address and stamp, and just put it in the mailbox.
I didn't include a return address but now I'm not sure what to do. I wasn't actually planning on sending this shit. It was more like mourning for the past Chris that may have been saved. But it was a hand written letter. Anyway again, I'm fully prepared for my autistic ratings for this dumb shit. But at the same time I just feel weird about this. If that letter reached Chris, what should I do? Should I just ignore it and pretend it was never sent? It was more like a letter to the past. I wasn't really meaning to send it.

I would never normally reach out to a cow.

 

[King Kiwi]

Bob's probably smacking himself in the afterlife for not having Chris sent to the special school when Chris was at Nathaniel Greene.

He's probably smacking himself for not letting Barb get the abortion she wanted.

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

View attachment 3312036

An Admin should make that Hippo animatronic his permanent avatar

He's probably smacking himself for not letting Barb get the abortion she wanted.

Would she?!
Barb seems cunning enough to baby-trap Bob and if Chris' claim that she married Bob only for a house is to be taken at face value then no she always wanted a golden child to spoil rotten with TV/Bribe with video games/action figures and toys to groom to be her personal serf.

 

[A Grey Cat]

to groom to be her personal serf.

except it backfired and he ended up her personal rapist....huh that just makes me wonder, was Chris's rodgering of Barb meant to be "payback" for all those years of being her own personal houseboy? not that he was any good at it since he never cleaned, fed her the same easy to prepare crap he did, and barely kept the house afloat by e begging.

Hi all. I'm a first-time poster, but I've been lurking for almost 2 years now. Please, forgive me for not being totally caught up on the Chris drama... And Christory in general. I was late to the party and only discovered Chris around the same time I discovered this site, almost 2 years ago, as I said.
I apologize in advance, I don't know how to spoiler anything and I don't want to de-rail the thread. I am prepared for autistic ratings.
Anyway, reason I finally made an account here (and am posting) is pretty retarded...

Long story short, I wrote a letter to Chris. I was undecided on whether to actually mail it or not. I've been watching Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History. Obviously, I'm aware of the events of the past year... But I've had a hard time reconciling that sick shit with the Chris of old.
I've had to take breaks. So for context, I wrote a letter to the old Chris who still seemed redeemable. It was almost like a creative exercise. Anyway, I had this letter all written up and in an envelope with stamp, addressed to Chris, just sitting on my desk. Not really planning to actually send it but I felt compelled to write a letter to the old Chris. So, I was away from home for about a week.
And when I came back, the letter was gone. I live with an older family member who would have no idea who Chris Chan is. I'm pretty sure she just saw a letter on my desk with an address and stamp, and just put it in the mailbox.
I didn't include a return address but now I'm not sure what to do. I wasn't actually planning on sending this shit. It was more like mourning for the past Chris that may have been saved. But it was a hand written letter. Anyway again, I'm fully prepared for my autistic ratings for this dumb shit. But at the same time I just feel weird about this. If that letter reached Chris, what should I do? Should I just ignore it and pretend it was never sent? It was more like a letter to the past. I wasn't really meaning to send it.

I would never normally reach out to a cow.

 

[King Kiwi]

Barb seems cunning enough to baby-trap Bob

I need wide, open spaces.

Yes, she was the fox and Bob the rabbit.

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

except it backfired and he ended up her personal rapist....huh that just makes me wonder, was Chris's rodgering of Barb meant to be "payback" for all those years of being her own personal houseboy? not that he was any good at it since he never cleaned, fed her the same easy to prepare crap he did, and barely kept the house afloat by e begging.

I think it was rolling around in his media-addled brain, festering for some time now as he also inherited from Barbie-chan's spiteful traits (perhaps it's a dominant genetic trait?) The "I was just really horny" was True and Honest, but that book showed the ulterior motives not-so bubbling underneath.

I need wide, open spaces.

Yes, she was the fox and Bob the rabbit.

Wide, and open like Barb's China? Heyooo!!
It didn't help matters that both courted at bars according to Cole; and Chris didn't fall too far from the tree according to the videos of him imbibing in Reeb/Long Island Iced tea.

 

[DeeCeeBees]

except it backfired and he ended up her personal rapist....huh that just makes me wonder, was Chris's rodgering of Barb meant to be "payback" for all those years of being her own personal houseboy? not that he was any good at it since he never cleaned, fed her the same easy to prepare crap he did, and barely kept the house afloat by e begging.

It's like Star Wars Lore. Every Sith Lord gets killed by the student he is mentoring. In this case, got fucked right in the pussy by Darth Shittious.

 

[A Grey Cat]

View attachment 3310039

This photo really makes me think of Bob. If he had beaten Chris and sent him to a home for tards, this photo wouldn't exist.

somewhat off topic but what ive always loved about that photo is its from a Halloween a few years ago. I can recall Kiwis asking WTF is chris supposed to be? It doesn't look too dissimilar to what the retarded troony looney would wear in public on any other day.

Well to answer you question he's "supposed" to be some girl from the smurfs comics. I forget her name but really its kinda fitting. Since she was a nobody that not even die hard smurf fans remember or care about, only occasionally popping up as a supporting character in the comics and even less so in the cartoon.

He Never failed to disappoint when it came to remembering obscure shit nobody cares about. whether it was American rabbit, filmation's ghostbusters, or one off cartoon characters. I don't whether it's retarded he went as something nobody but him would know or care about or actually kinda clever of him for putting together something that was a stand out from all the superheroes and villians, or flavor of the month pop culture people go out as every year.

 

[A-№1]

Bob's probably smacking himself in the afterlife for not having Chris sent to the special school when Chris was at Nathaniel Greene.

He's probably smacking himself for not letting Barb get the abortion she wanted.

Why would Bob care at this point?

Assuming there even is an afterlife, Bob's spirit left long ago to join the cosmic harmonies or whatever and never looked back. Or he reincarnated as a dolphin or some such and has bigger fish to fry. Or there is no afterlife and Bob is just gone.

Either way, Bob has no more fucks to give about Chris or Barb. He's finally free.

 

[ANobody]

An Admin should make that Hippo animatronic his permanent avatar

I second this motion

 

[Miss Misery]

A lot of people are saying that Bob was a nice and fairly likable albeit lonely guy. I agree that he seemed that way on the troll calls and he seemed at least 1000x more likable than Barb, but part of me wonders if there's more to the story. Like Barb, Bob was estranged from his family and didn't seem to have any friends or acquaintances and it kind of makes me wonder why.

1. Bob's kids were nearly grown when he met Barb, but with that said, his divorce from Patricia was acrimonious and it makes sense that the daughter (she was 16) mostly cut him off but the son (19) was still in contact after the divorce.

2. As for Bob's extended family: when Bob was 17 his mother Jean died, either in childbirth with his sister Beverly, or soon after. Bob's father, Robert Sr, remarried 4 years later and had 7 kids with his new wife - at that point Bob was 23 years old and had a life of his own so it makes sense that he wasn't really close with them or with his sister Beverly (and I could understand some resentment toward her since it could be argued she was the cause of their mother's death).

And Bob probably didn't have friends because he'd been stuck with a domineering harpy since 1980 and he lived in an infested hoard where you don't really want to bring guests.

But he's dead, Barb's nuts, and Chris and Cole are unreliable narrators/liars, so I suppose we'll never know.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

2. As for Bob's extended family: when Bob was 17 his mother Jean died, either in childbirth with his sister Beverly, or soon after. Bob's father, Robert Sr, remarried 4 years later and had 7 kids with his new wife - at that point Bob was 23 years old and had a life of his own so it makes sense that he wasn't really close with them or with his sister Beverly (and I could understand some resentment toward her since it could be argued she was the cause of their mother's death).

Fuck, all of that just for his own son to turn around and rape his mother. I bet Bob and Barb probably bonded over their terrible and lonely upbringing.

 

[Male Idiot]

Isn't Chris jail mail intercepted anyway?

So even if you draw a spergtastic AB sonichu he won't see it, right?

Even if you could, he can't make a funny reply. Webcams aren't in jail so you can't really see him yell at it while making

At best you get an angry letter back... or he just shits himself and does nothing. Remember a load of weens tried to letter him and nothing big came of it.

So unless you boil your burgers balkans style, it is a waste of time.

 

[A-№1]

Isn't Chris jail mail intercepted anyway?

It's intercepted and processed. He can't be denied receiving mail, but he doesn't get to have the originals. He'll get photocopies. The originals are destroyed (unless they're held for evidence). This way inmates can't receive, for example, letters on paper infused with LSD.

So even if you draw a spergtastic AB sonichu he won't see it, right?

He'll get to see photocopies. Depending on the facilities at CVRJ, they might even be color photocopies.

it is a waste of time.

Regardless of the prison processing, ^^^absolutely this^^^.

It's also a waste of a stamp.

 

[Julaay]

Hi all. I'm a first-time poster, but I've been lurking for almost 2 years now. Please, forgive me for not being totally caught up on the Chris drama... And Christory in general. I was late to the party and only discovered Chris around the same time I discovered this site, almost 2 years ago, as I said.
I apologize in advance, I don't know how to spoiler anything and I don't want to de-rail the thread. I am prepared for autistic ratings.
Anyway, reason I finally made an account here (and am posting) is pretty retarded...

Long story short, I wrote a letter to Chris. I was undecided on whether to actually mail it or not. I've been watching Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History. Obviously, I'm aware of the events of the past year... But I've had a hard time reconciling that sick shit with the Chris of old.
I've had to take breaks. So for context, I wrote a letter to the old Chris who still seemed redeemable. It was almost like a creative exercise. Anyway, I had this letter all written up and in an envelope with stamp, addressed to Chris, just sitting on my desk. Not really planning to actually send it but I felt compelled to write a letter to the old Chris. So, I was away from home for about a week.
And when I came back, the letter was gone. I live with an older family member who would have no idea who Chris Chan is. I'm pretty sure she just saw a letter on my desk with an address and stamp, and just put it in the mailbox.
I didn't include a return address but now I'm not sure what to do. I wasn't actually planning on sending this shit. It was more like mourning for the past Chris that may have been saved. But it was a hand written letter. Anyway again, I'm fully prepared for my autistic ratings for this dumb shit. But at the same time I just feel weird about this. If that letter reached Chris, what should I do? Should I just ignore it and pretend it was never sent? It was more like a letter to the past. I wasn't really meaning to send it.

I would never normally reach out to a cow.

Okay, we've all done stupid shit. Had too much to drink or smoke or whatever... You didn't put a return address which is good. You can't get doxed. Pretend it wasn't you, especially if you have a common name. Then next time when you write letter like this, just rip them up or burn them right after. Don't put them in an envelope.

 

[ANobody]

Okay, we've all done stupid shit. Had too much to drink or smoke or whatever... You didn't put a return address which is good. You can't get doxed. Pretend it wasn't you, especially if you have a common name. Then next time when you write letter like this, just rip them up or burn them right after. Don't put them in an envelope.

Can't help but notice he hasn't checked back in. Hopefully he's long gone, or back lurking for good. God knows we have enough spastics in the farms already.

 

[Steven Aryan Universe]

View attachment 3312036

Icing on the cake

 

[reinhardheydrich]

She also had raised her voice to me in upset and anger, especially when it came to money. After the paid sex with the Kind Cherokee woman in April, 2012, in May, I told Barbara about it, and Barbara literally propotioned me for sex by telling me, "I would have had sex with you myself, Christian." And in one aspect of her unconsciousness, Barbara had considered me being a replacement for Mister C. after September 6, 2011.

I call bullshit. I know this has probably been stated numerous times in the past but Chris is literally incapable of keeping anything a secret or shutting his mouth. Also, lets not forget that he is a notorious (and horrible) liar. In light of that, I really have to doubt that Barbara said such a thing.

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

I call bullshit. I know this has probably been stated numerous times in the past but Chris is literally incapable of keeping anything a secret or shutting his mouth. Also, lets not forget that he is a notorious (and horrible) liar. In light of that, I really have to doubt that Barbara said such a thing.

As some Kiwis theorized, her statement could be in exasperation/frustration (and let's be honest, pissed the money didn't go to Goodwill or Sheetz) and OPL's low-functioning autism misinterpreted it as a come on.
I disagree with the poster stating that the "second half" of the Mia Hamm tale was Barbara for the following:

Yeah, Barb was the Red Oak Virginia bicycle but I cast doubt on her utilizing an apple-flavored condom to blow a 4-inch bent monstrosity.​

Mia Hamm mentioned two daughters and Barb only had Cole and Chris (Tomgirl Saga disregarded) unless she had an earlier dumpster baby girl.​

 

[reinhardheydrich]

As some Kiwis theorized, her statement could be in exasperation/frustration (and let's be honest, pissed the money didn't go to Goodwill or Sheetz) and OPL's low-functioning autism misinterpreted it as a come on.

Shit, I didn't even consider that.

This just leaves us with a lot of questions that are impossible to answer.